"Do I look like I'm joking when I say that you shouldn't go after that monster alone? This is your first mission, and the last thing I need from you is to get yourself killed before you even complete your agent training. Ike should consider himself very, very lucky that we swapped him out for that dummy—and what the replacement did to it, he could just as easily do to you."
Whitney Fitzgerald is an agent in the Video Games Division of the Department of Mary Sues. She is written by SkarmorySilver.
Agent Profile[]
Appearance[]
Whitney is a female Wii Fit Trainer, and looks exactly like the one that appears in both Wii Fit and Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U. Her skin is pure white, her eyes and hair are gray, and her outfits are light, form-fitting, and functional. Depending on the circumstances, she's as flexible in terms of clothing as she is physically, and she is as comfortable with wearing Arctic winter gear, Kevlar body armor, chain mail, military camo, and even animal skins as she is with her usual clothing. She tends to wear a light blue tank top and dark gray comfort pants, and is always barefoot when not on Duty. How she keeps her skin cared for in spite of her constant mission-related activity, especially on her feet, is truly a question for the ages, though some suspect that her routine yoga practices may have something to do with it.
Physique-wise, Whitney is lithe but surprisingly powerful, with plenty of lean muscle and very little body fat. She tends to avoid the Cafeteria food due to perceiving it as being too rich in calories, and cooks all of her meals herself, using ingredients gathered from missions or other universes in general.
Powers[]
Being based on a fitness trainer, Whitney brings speed, agility, and grace into play whenever in combat. Despite her assassin status, she's actually reluctant to kill Sues, and even less willing to use weapons, so if she can't bring her Header or her Sun Salutation, she has to rely on her bare hands alone. Though her Smash Bros. counterpart relies on yoga poses to fight, Whitney has learned that direct combat can sometimes be a greater asset, and she practices weaponless martial arts such as Taekwondo, judo, and Muay Thai boxing whenever she can.
Personality[]
Whitney is calm, reserved, and caring, but also authoritative in the way that only a fitness trainer can be. She follows a strict routine of daily life, including a healthy diet, regular exercise, combat training at every opportunity, and socializing with other people on occasion. Unfortunately, missions are never routine, and badfics often come in at the worst possible times for her, which leaves her struggling to maintain a rigid schedule the way she'd like to. She has what it takes to be an agent, but if she had the choice, she'd rather take up a career at the Nursery or FicPsych, where she could put her skills in leadership and guidance to better use; as it is, she cares for her partner like the little brother she never had, and does what she can to keep him from stepping out of line.
All the same, not many people have the nerve to push Whitney to her limit or beyond, but most people know better than to do so—for it's almost always a grave mistake. Being an assassin without weapons has been difficult enough that it's turned her into a take-no-crap fighter if pushed to it. Anything that breaches the canon of the continuum she is visiting is in grave danger, and anything that threatens those she holds dear is good as dead.
Agent History[]
Whitney was originally the female trainer for a copy of Wii Fit that her author's mother once owned. However, the game disc was lost when the family in question cleaned up their house, so she slipped out of the game through a plot hole and ended up in the PPC. Unfortunately, despite her reluctance to become an active PPC agent, she arrived at HQ dangerously close to the release date of Smash 4 and the Fanfic Explosion that accompanied it. The massive influx of Mary Sues resulting from this was grounds for the Flowers to recruit a slew of new agents to counter them, and Whitney ended up becoming one of them. She picked up more than a few fighting skills by studying the Smash Bros. WFT (out of necessity), along with other topics on weaponless combat, and ultimately stayed in the DMS after proving that she was more than capable of handling her job.
Sometime between late May and early June 2015, Whitney was venturing through an AU Smash Bros. badfic that interpreted some of the fighters as humanized Pokémon. While most of the fighters were simply tricked into thinking this was the case, one in particular was different enough from his canon counterpart that Whitney decided to remove him completely. Rather than kill him, Whitney sent him to the Sunflower Official, thereby gaining a student, partner, and (eventually) friend.
Whitney would later enter the fourth season of the PPC Hunger Games, and did a surprisingly good job of staying alive for a first-timer. Among the seventy agents and staff members who joined the Games, she ultimately came in at third place, behind Hieronymous (who placed second) and Kyaris (the season's champion).
Timeline[]
All dates are given in HQ Standard Time.
- 2012
- Recruited and assigned to the DMS in the wake of the fanfic explosion caused by the announcement of Super Smash Bros. for the Wii U.
- 2014
- Attempts to dispose of a wayward Sue-wraith, but is left demoralized when said wraith somehow manages to escape.
- 2015
- Late May
- Meets some weird guy with a weird laser... sword... thingy.
- June 1
- Takes the aforementioned weird guy under her wing for his first training mission.
- Mid-July
- August 30
- Involved in the Body Swap Incident.
- Mid-November
- Is less than pleased to find that her partner has just gone on a mission with "the one who got away."
- Third recorded mission with Backslash. Also meets Cupid Carmine.
- December 3
- Fourth recorded mission (in progress), with a pair of engaged Floaters and a bird made of knives.
- December 15
- Reacts to some rather unexpected news.
- Fifth recorded mission with Backslash. Also with Cupid and Lapis Lazuli.
- 2016
- January 1
- Takes part in the second annual New Year's Gift Exchange.
- February 22
- May 17
- Participates in an impromptu Karaoke night.
- August 31
- Volunteers for the PPC Hunger Games, Season 4, and surprises all of her friends by making it into the top three.
- Seventh recorded mission (in progress), with Falchion (again), Sarah Katherine Squall, and Rayner Blitzkrieg.
- 2017
- December 24
- Is proposed to by her partner, and accepts without hesitation.
- 2018
- Is revealed to have established the official date of her and Backslash's wedding.
Mission Logs[]
Home: RC 88224646BA
Partnered with Backslash[]
Note: Unless stated otherwise, missions are listed in which they were published on the Board, rather than in chronological order.
- Mission One: "The Green Maul" (Extended Director's Cut)
- In which a psychotic replacement meets a sword, a fitness trainer, and his maker.
- Original fanfic: "L is Real 2015" (Super Smash Bros.)
- Mission Two: "Womb Raider"
- In which a SPaG-challenged Stu and a Word Cyclone wreak havoc.
- Original fanfic: "Tomb Raider: Lara's Friend" (Tomb Raider)
- Interlude One: "Challenger Approaching" + Mission Three: "Witches Get Stitches," with Agents Cupid Carmine and Lapis Lazuli (DIC) (Mission 5, chronologically)
- In which three different agents react to a rather surprising announcement.
- In which Backslash's past misdemeanor comes back to bite him. No, not literally!
- Original fanfic: "hybrid link" (Bayonetta x Bleach)
- Mission Four: "Dundertale" (NSFW, MAJOR UNDERTALE SPOILERS) (Mission 6, chronologically)
- In which the agents go underground in more ways than one.
- Original fic deleted.
- Mission Six: "Good Knight, and Good Luck" (Mission 3, chronologically)
- In which lack of sleep and the Duty make lousy roommates.
- Original fanfic: "A Meta Love Story" (Kirby)
Other Appearances[]
- "It's Dangerous To Go Alone" - Cameos in the post-mission.
- "The Most Dangerous Game," with Agents Falchion, Chris, and Violet Rose Greenfield (in-progress, co-write with eatpraylove) (Mission 4, chronologically)
- In which badfic is no place for a Girl on Fire.
- Original fanfic: "hunger games change in the winds" (Monster Hunter x The Hunger Games)
- "Do You Want Fries With That?", with Agents Falchion (DF), Sarah Katherine Squall (DIC), and Rayner Blitzkrieg (DMS) (in progress) (Mission 7, chronologically)
- In which nobody likes to kill badfic on an empty stomach.
- Original fanfic: "The Legend of the Hunger Games Book 1" (The Hunger Games x The Legend of Zelda)
- "Heart-to-Heart" - Receives an early Christmas present from her partner.
- "Misprint" - Has to deal with a print job gone wrong.