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Agent Veminta Fincaran, usually called Vemi, was a member of the Department of Mary Sues and the Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research. Following a brief retirement to the Discworld, she returned, trained by the Ankh-Morpork Guild of Assassins, to work with the PPC on what was described as 'a long-term assignment to a similar but not competing organisation to the Guild, for the purposes of improving their training standards', but was in fact simply a return to her old job with a higher salary. She was created by Vemi, but is now written by Huinesoron.

Agent Profile[]


Vemi is usually human in form, with brown hair (actually dyed from her natural blonde). She bears a certain resemblance to (read: is identical to) her partner, Penny, although they are not related in any way.

Sometimes, however, environmental conditions produce a change in Vemi's appearance. At one point, she was prone to turning invisible when embarrassed (which continued until the creation of Bleepesteem). For a time, she also turned into a Drow, and once managed to turn herself into a Mary Sue.[1] This is explained by her Maia abilities, but no one – including her – was aware of them at the time.


Vemi has a history of being rather caustic and violent. When she discovered that Dafydd Illian had concealed his heritage from her, she held a knife to his throat until he apologised. However, she is also secretly somewhat insecure and rather shy.

Agent History[]


Vemi was created as a Maia by Eru Iluvatar before Middle-earth was formed. She was involved in the Ainulindalë, and travelled to the World once it was created. Here she went by the name Fëamintë Fioncarnë, and was a follower of Oromë the Hunter. However, during the assault on Utumno, she sacrificed herself to protect Oromë from a spell cast by Sauron.


Fëamintë found herself transported to the Real World, where she became trapped in the body of a small child of eight years. After telling the woman who found her her name, she fainted, and when she awoke she had no memory of her life in Arda. The woman raised her as her own child, calling her by a corrupted version of her true name: Veminta Fincaran.

Around the age of sixteen, Vemi dyed her blonde hair dark brown. Shortly afterwards, for no known reason – she had not even invoked the Laws of Narrative Comedy – she fell through a plothole into PPC HQ.


Vemi reached HQ in the year 2000 HST, and immediately encountered Agent Penny, at that time a member of the Disturbing Acts of Violence Department. The two became friends – possibly due to their startlingly similar appearances – and Penny quickly transferred to the Department of Mary Sues to be Vemi's partner. The two fought the Black Cats during their invasion, during which Vemi's mortal form was fatally wounded; in the aftermath, she ascended and left the PPC.

Mission Reports[]

Archived at Huinesoron's Webplex

Although technically partnered with Penny, none of their regular missions together are recorded, but Vemi went on a few missions with Dafydd Illian of DOGA.

Other Appearances[]