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Valon Vance is an agent in the Department of Floaters. He is written by Voyd.

At fifteen missions (sixteen if you count his dubiously-canon collaboration with Magdalen Blackwell), he currently has the highest mission count of any Floater.

Agent Profile[]


Valon is one of the tallest human agents in the PPC, standing six and a half feet tall. He has blue eyes, short brown hair and a thin, red mustache that he keeps neatly trimmed. His height does tend to give him problems with low ceilings. He looks generally unhealthy, with pallid skin, mildly sunken eyes and a skeletal frame.

His outfit usually consists of jeans, a black vest (the inside of which is lined with Bags of Holding), and one of the many Game of Thrones or band t-shirts that he's made.


Valon is outgoing, empathetic, and always willing to help his friends. He's a caring individual who sees it as his duty to help people in need, and seeks to befriend every agent he works with.

Valon is an artist at heart. He loves music, animation, nature, and color. He's been singing since he could speak, and he's not bad at it. This love of beauty extends to fire, which he has been known to use judiciously.

He has an obsession with cute things, and usually glomps any minis that he comes across. If one of his missions gives him a mini he doesn't have yet, odds are he's taking it home with him.

Valon's empathy gives him a hatred of suffering. If he encounters torture or something similar, Valon goes completely berserk and seeks to kill the cause. The only way to stop him is to knock him out or get him away from the scene.

There is one thing that he loves more than beauty, minis, or his friends: his partner, Kala Jeng. He cares very deeply for her, and values her companionship when it's needed. The two of them provide physical and emotional support for each other.


Valon has made it his goal to learn at least one new trick from every continuum he visits. Besides this, he's a passable chef, a giftedly bad comedian, and an absolute master of his voice. He's a good singer, a natural mimic, and an aspiring linguist.

He's also mildly colorblind, often confusing browns and greens, and he's immune to the eye-searing effects of urple (but ONLY urple; other Suvian colors still hurt him).

The exact nature of this is unclear, but Valon has a talent for making friends. He has befriended almost every agent he's worked with, and they usually benefit from his company. While this was once thought of as Sueish, Valon has very low glitter readings under a CAD.

Agent History[]

Several years prior to joining the PPC, Valon was a depressed individual seriously considering suicide. While this attitude faded in time, the experience still has an impact on him.

He joined the PPC after falling into a plothole, like most agents.

As of May 2015, he's dating Kala, and he got engaged to her a few months later, getting married in December of the same year. The two are still married within the next decade.

The RC of Terror[]

RC 211 resembles a haunted house, with various cheesy horror elements acting as a backdrop. These include a portrait of Cthulhu and an urple skeleton at a table.

Valon loves minis, and the RC of Terror is infested with them. The minis in RC 211 are:

Valerie Vance[]

In his seventh mission, out of sheer curiosity, Valon used the disguise generator to transform himself into a girl. Calling herself Valerie, she found that her emotions affected her much more strongly than as Valon. More than likely it's a placebo, from Valon's prior knowledge that women feel emotions more strongly than men do, combined with not being used to female emotions. Regardless, with curiosity satisfied, it's unlikely that Valerie will be returning any time soon.

Mission Reports[]

  • "Kinky like STABBING YOU IN THE FACE" (Bionicle), with Magdalen Blackwell (DF)
    • Valon's first mission, whether he likes it or not. Maggie ropes him into a Bionicle badfic.
    • Note: This mission is dubiously-canon for Valon. It was written before I had Permission, and also before Valon's character and design were cemented. ~Voyd
  • "New Lodgings"
    • Valon moves into RC 211, struggles to get his console to shut up, and recoils in horror at the prospect of having to do a Suefic alone.

Partnered with Kala Jeng[]