The Troll Division of the Department of Bad Parody handles trollfic.
It is technically overseen by Admiral Pansy, but in practice it is fairly autonomous. Its flash patch is the DBP's decapitated rubber chicken surmounted by the letters "T-D" in bright red. Its agents are known as "sunners" due to their use of sunlight to combat trolls.[1]
Description[]
Troll Division offices are located with the rest of the DBP on the thirty-fifth floor, accessible by elevator. The corridor is lined with shiny black panels, reminiscent of the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey. If Agent Marokee's office is any indication, the response centers here are pentagon-shaped.[1]
The function of the sunners is to hunt down and neutralize trolls. It can be a tricky business, going into a trollfic, because unlike the usual innocently destructive fanbrats, trolls know they are creating badfic. The difference between normal badfic and trollfic is the difference between going into a world created by someone who's totally new to the god business, versus a world created by a malevolent deity who wishes to make the readers suffer.
Like normal badfic, trollfics include things like Mary Sues, bad slash, and horrible writing. Unlike normal badfic, in a trollfic these things are merely distractions. Agents working in the Troll Division must learn to ignore them and get to the root of the problem: trolls.
Methods[]
Parody Clouds are scouted by the Department of Bad Parody, and if they are determined to be trollish, then they're sent to the Troll Division. Rather than simply destroying trolls, like a Mary Sue or wraith, sunners enter a fic to "diffuse the bomb" of a troll and turn it into a Benevolent Parody Cloud to help the canon. Exactly how they do this is not known, but trolls are vulnerable to sunlight, so the agents must expose the trolls somehow.[1]
Records from the Department of Floaters show that trolls may be exorcised from canon characters[2] and crash dummies[3][4] or confronted directly if they've taken a physical form.[5] Also, they appear to be vulnerable to any sufficiently high-energy source of light, including large amounts of fire,[3] overloaded plasma weapons,[4] and the sun itself.[5]
Special Equipment[]
Technologies unique to the Troll Division include Fixie Dust® and Grapnades (patent pending),[1] but it isn't clear exactly what those are.
History[]
Very little is known of the Troll Division's history, but it most likely formed sometime prior to 2003, since the earliest indication of its existence appeared on January 9, 2003.[6] At one point, Agent Marokee poured coffee into Admiral Pansy's flower-bed, which made him so excited that he sent the entire Department of Bad Parody on double-missions.[1]
Known Sunners[]
- Marokee Brin and new recruits Leelee and Saphie Ellings were sunners in 2003. They are the only agents to have published any records from this division.
- Armeniel and Leo were also members of the Troll Division c. 2003,[7] but there are no records of their missions.
Division Records[]
Missions from this division are listed on the Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Bad Parody, Troll Division.
References[]
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 "Of Lawn Gnomes and Meatloaf" by Leelee, Meir Brin, and Saphie, Jul 21, 2003
- ↑ "Hamburgers, Steaks, and Xenomorph Ribs" by Herr Wozzeck, Mar 29, 2012
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 "DREW PICKLES GOES TO MCDONALDS" by JulyFlame, 2008
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 "Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre" by Fish Custard, Jul 18, 2011
- ↑ 5.0 5.1 "A Troll's Tale" by Herr Wozzeck, Mar 6, 2012
- ↑ The Troll Hunters' account at Fanfiction.net, created Jan 9, 2003
- ↑ "PPC Departments and Agents," PPC Handbook, compiled by Artemis c. 2003