- This is so stupid… so… stupid. Why would an American baby be adopted in Australia? ... Why are the abilities she is developing thrown in at the end like side notes? And WHAT IN THE NAME OF APOHPHIS IS GRABBING MY LEG?
- —Thomas, "Thomas' Excellent Adventure"
Thomas Greenwall is a relatively new agent. He fell through a plothole on his way home from a bad date, and hasn't looked back since. He was trained by an agent named Hannibal Hamlin, who suffered permanent hair loss after Thomas brought plutonium back to his response center. Agent Hannibal has been trying to catch up to Thomas ever since. So far, Thomas has succeeded in eluding him. At the same time his trainer suffered permanent hair loss, the response center bathroom was rendered too radioactive for use by anyone but cockroaches. On a related note, cockroaches have been advised to wear protective gear if they plan to use the bathroom in Response Center 16,202,535.
Thomas is around five eleven, thin, with long arms and legs, longish brown hair and blue eyes. He usually wears a black T-shirt with the cactus flash patch on the shoulder, as well as jeans and sneakers.
Thomas does nothing by halves; either he is enthusiastic about killing Mary Sues, angry at the stupidity of Mary Sues, or stupefied by the utter stupidity of Mary Sues. Often at these times he is pacing excitedly, banging his head into a wall, standing in shocked silence, or trying to stupidly charge a Mary Sue. When he isn't feeling strong emotions related to Mary Sues, he is often seen relaxed in a comfortable chair in his response center, or thinking up some sort of plan to better his situation.
Thomas is the proud owner of O'Neil the mini-Unas (with whom he has a complicated relationship), and despite his best intentions to present him as a gift to Orken, Winston the Ministry of love (Witmol), who he found in an old RC. As of his latest mission, he is now also the proud owner of Claudi the mini-Farnsworth.
Appearances are listed in chronological order, not the order in which they were written.
Partnered with Orken 7861
- Training Mission: "Dino Hunters" (Jurassic Park), Orken with trainee Cadmar
- Agents Cadmar and Orken 7861 take to the jungles of Jurassic Park to stop a Stu who violates the laws of biology and decency, and a Sue seductress.
- Interlude 1: "The Search for love"
- While Orken is away on a training mission, Thomas decides to surprise him with a new mini.
- Mission One: "Not Russians" (Stargate SG-1)
- Agents Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall disguise themselves as replicators disguised as Russians to take down a Genius!Stu.
- Mission Two: "Sleeping Sue and the Eight Minis" (Stargate Atlantis)
- Agents Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall brave bad grammar, a fake prophecy, Rodney bashing, and an unintentional Blackhole!Sue.
- Interlude 2: "Understanding"
- Thomas Greenwall and Orken 7861 tie up the loose ends from their last mission.
- Mission Three: "A Beautiful Man" (Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog)
- In their latest mission, Agents Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall take on a villain!Sue after the heart of Dr. Horrible.
- Mission Four: "Thomas' Excellent Adventure" (Stargate SG-1)
- An incredibly obvious Sue in the Stargate SG-1 continuum nearly drives Thomas crazy with her badness
- Mission Five: "Secret Agents" (Alex Rider x Harry Potter), with Agent Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill (DIC)
- Agent Ilraen teams up with Agents Orken and Thomas to keep a Sue from marrying Alex Rider and infiltrating Hogwarts.
- Mission Six: "Mixed Nuts" (Stargate SG-1), with Agents Ian Nahinu and Lee Keaton (DMS)
- Agents Orken and Thomas team up with Agents Ian and Lee to take down a Sue who's after Skaara.
- Interlude 3: "Guests"
- Thomas and Orken return to their response center to relax after their last mission, only to be interrupted by an unexpected visitor.
- Interlude 4: "Exchange"
- A new host is found for Nut, and Orken is finally alone in his head again.
- Mission Seven: "The Agents Who Cried Wolf" (Stargate SG-1), with Agents Cadmar and Maria Nightingale (DF)
- Agents Orken and Thomas try to take on a blue wolf with quills... FROM SPACE! Agents Cadmar and Maria drop in to lend a hand.
- Interlude 5: "A Small Misunderstanding"
- Thomas and Orken get a rare vacation, and visit Thomas' parents on World One.
- Mission ?: "Coffee Rain and Vanilla Folders" (Stargate Atlantis x NCIS), Orken with Jeannine Guiles
- Interlude 6: "Rule Number Three"
- In which Orken returns to the response center, and the origins of Thomas' arrival at the PPC are revealed.
- Mission Eight: "Government Training" (Warehouse 13)
- A Warehouse 13 Sue who loves the color yellow a bit too much annoys Agents Thomas and Orken.