Discovered by DMSE&R Scientists Bill Fallis and Lori Starrett in 2008, the Spectrum of Suvian Species determines the approximate level of glitter in a Mary Sue’s bloodstream by said Sue’s species. The species are arranged by popularity and power.
This spectrum is only a rough schematic. Actual glitter levels may vary depending on the speshulness of the Sue.
0 GL (Glitter Level)
A well-rounded, balanced Original Character with no signs of Suedom whatsoever. I should either pat you on the back or berate you for being so frakking conservative; I can’t choose.
A rounded, kinda balanced Original Character with moderate and/or minor traits attributed to Suedom. Not too shabby, but might not be good enough for a PPC Agent. Of course, that’s for the Permission Giver to decide.
Borderline Sue. Watch out!
Really Really Pushing It Borderline Sue. You might want to stop before you give her a retinue of pink fairies, because that’ll lead to…
Classic!Sue. Also known as the Dumb Blonde Barbie!Sue, with her grossly big chest and bubblegum-chewing habits. And her long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes, too, come to think of it. Also included in this range is the ever-famous Saintly!Sue, who can do no wrong.
Puella perfecta, Puella recentis, Puella mirabilis
Numerology Wrecking!Sue. The Tenth Member of the Fellowship, the Fifth King or Queen of Narnia, the Fourth member of the Golden Trio... these Sues love to mess with numbers and basically drive all Canon-loving people insane. Included in this range is the Scene Stealer!Sue, who mangles and plagarizes lines to her heart's content, and the Emo Wangsty Goth!Sue, who HAETS ALL PREPZ ND POZERZ and CUTZ HRSULF CUZ SHES BORD.
Puella occupatus, Miles vagus, Puella numeroconfracta, Miles mediumundi, Puella cruciata, Mulier doluta
Hey Look, I'm Related To A Canon Character!Sue. She's the sister of Harry Potter, the cousin of Frodo Baggins, the daughter of Laura Roslin. The more important the character is, the better. It doesn't matter who the characters are. Who's up for some Galadriel/Gandalf lovin'? (Nope, didn't think so.) Also included in this range are (oddly enough?) the Vampire, Witch, and Elf!Sues.
Nympha sidhea tolkiena, Nympha angita perfecta, Filia gratuita, Magus supervacanea, Diabola meretricus recentis, Diabola gothica gratuita, Soror gratuita
I Got Run Over By A Truck And Now I'm In Middle-earth!Sue. Commonly known as the Girl Who Falls Into Middle-earth (And Tap-dances On The Canon), this Sue seems to have mastered the art of going transdimensional without knowing it. In this range is also the I Used To Be A Human!Sue, who gets transformed into the authoress' desired species, and the I Summoned A Canon Character!Sue.
Puella translata transformis, Muliercula pecuniosa ridicula, Puella recentis prophesida
GIRL POWER!Sue. Men are weaklings! Man, they stink! I can beat them; they don't think! (Sorry for that terrible piece of doggerel, by the way) These Sues go off the deep end with feminism. If there's anything a Fellowship member can do, Mary Sue can and will do it better! She needs no man! Except for the authoress' lust object, that is. Also within this range is the I'm A Cross Between Two Un-Crossable Species!Sue.
Muliercula insolentis, Puella mixta impossibilis
Dea dubiosa, Regula fictus
The Gary Stus. He's the really hot new teacher at Hogwarts. Or the really hot new elf. Or the mage who falls for Susan Pevensie. Also in this range is the Super!Sue, who upstages and outstages (if that's a word) everyone in the universe.
Diabolus insolentis, Magus cupidus, Muliercula superioria
None recorded yet. Perhaps future research will tell.
According to the lab performed after this discovery, it was revealed that typical bloodsucking animals like vampire bats and medicinal leeches are capable of decreasing Glitter levels. That is, if said animals are either trained or genetically modified to suck out Glitter rather than blood. Other methods, like hemodialysis, dwarf hair, dwarf saliva, and modified Embryo Extraction Kits were also discovered to be able to decrease the level of Glitter in a Mary Sue's body. Of course, the process is overwhelmingly painful, because removing Glitter from a Sue is like pulling teeth; it's an important part of a Mary Sue.
Out of all of the eight methods tested in the lab, it turns out that genetically modified vampire bats were the most effective. The modified debugger was the second most effective, and hemodialysis the third. These three methods did not decrease a Sue's glitter level to acceptable limits, but they did cause a lot of pain and removed the most Glitter from their
Since 2008 HST, scientists Lori Starrett and Bill Fallis have been developing de-Glitterification technology. In 2011 HST, a modified debugger and dialysis machine were used on Nurse Takara from the International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction to remove excess Glitter from her bloodstream. Since then, Starrett and Fallis, with the help of the Medical Research Division, have been able to turn the de-Glitterifier into something 'more like some mad scientist's death ray'. As of 2021 HST, this de-Glitterifier was nominally successful at de-Stuing John Tsai, but time will tell whether or not his Glitter levels will remain low.
- "The International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction" chapter 33, by Lily Winterwood, 2011.
- "Rose Of The Dark Abyss", by Lily Winterwood, Aug 8 2021