"Of Warlords And Pleasures", or That Series (as most PPCers call it), is a highly disturbing fifteen-part series of Redwall yiff fic by Uoikih. Basically, it's all the Bad Guys/Girls of the Redwall series forced into disturbing sex acts with either Good Guys/Girls, Random Guys/Girls, or Mary Sues. Most of the fics have disgusting rape scenes and biologically impossible occurrences. When attempted, the plots are often confusing and/or contradictory; various characters are out of character to truly impressive degrees; and the purple prose includes some bizarre figurative language which causes horrifying mental images even next to the intended violence.
- "No rat, weasel, stoat, ferret, or fox alive had ever seen Cluny naked, not even the sexy she-rats he'd had down in the taverns by the docks."
- "Dandin slowly worked his tongue deeper, not surprised at the cleanliness of Mariel's anus, for she was the cleanest, most pure mousemaid he had ever known, in both body and spirit."
- "Grabbing Pikkle's head roughly between two scarred paws, Raketooth slit the hare's footpaw bonds and turned him around so that a side view was presented." (See "Raketooth the Amazing Three-Armed Fox," Ing Disease.)
- (from the author's notes) "I enjoy spelling Jacques' first name Bryan. It possesses a certain archaic flair that appeals to me."
The Agents Edit
That Series was sporked in a mass mission by the following intrepid volunteers:
The Series in Order Edit
- WARNING: The following summaries contain sexual content that could be considered disturbing.
- Obviously, this series and all missions to it are NSFW and possibly NSFB.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Swartt Sixclaw"
- This one is generally regarded to be the "good one" of this whole disgusting series, at least as "good" as furry animal porn can get. It's also a canonical pairing, which definitely scores major points.
- Has not been sporked, in the general consensus that although not great literature, it's not worthy of death. Yet.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Ferahgo the Assassin"
- Ferahgo the Assassin randomly has sex with his son while his entire horde (note ENTIRE, i.e. four to five thousand creatures of various species, give or take) rapes Mara and Pikkle of Salamandastron, a badger and a hare respectively.
- Sporked by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove, as well as Agents Stormsong and Skyfire.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Slagar the Cruel"
- Slagar the fox slaver wanks to kiddie slave porn. Pointless and probably among the most disgusting of all the series.
- Sporked (on archive.is) by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove and Stormsong and Skyfire.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Cluny the Scourge"
- THE most disgusting of all the series. Cluny whips his subordinate Redtooth "to the bone" (in only the first of many instances in which the poor rat should have DIED) and rapes him violently several times, then uses a spear and an arrow to do physically impossible things to Redtooth's intestines. Meanwhile, everyone inside the Abbey apparently vanishes into thin air, allowing Matthias and Cornflower to have sex on the walltop.
- Sporked by Agents Manx and Shadow.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Damug Warfang"
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Queen Silth's Brood, the Marlfoxes"
- Five of the Marlfox siblings decide suddenly to have an orgy while Mokkan bangs a random Mary Sue Seer. A noncanonical treasure supposedly left near the Abbey by Queen Silth's mate is mentioned briefly ("treasure" may actually have been referring to the Sue, but the part which mentions it is extremely unclear), then totally forgotten in favour of completely random incest and Sue-sex, as all potentially interesting plot ideas tend to do in bad sexfic.
- Sporked by Naomi and Drake.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Gulo the Savage"
- Gulo and Shard graphically and messily rape Armel and Brooky. Since Gulo and his followers canonically regard squirrels and otters as food, it could be theorised that this counts as the nearest equivalent of bestiality in a furry-based fandom, though this is debateable.
- Sporked by Naomi and Drake.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Gabool the Wild"
- Gabool forces Mariel to have sex with him in the promise that she can see her father again. Mariel does absolutely nothing to stop him, and somehow manages to become pregnant within one day of his rape.
- Sporked by Laburnum and Foxglove.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Princess Kurda"
- Kurda is raped by Plugg Firetail. Since this is badfic, she naturally starts to like it.
- Sporked (on archive.is) by Laburnum and Foxglove.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Princess Kurda: Swords, Squirrels and Snatches"
- Princess Kurda is a raving nymphomaniac who has sex with Trisscar Swordmaid and a random Ratguard at the same time on the floor of the armoury. Bizarrely, this one takes place chronologically before the one in which Kurda is raped by Plugg, in which she was described as a blushing virgin.
- Sporked (on archive.is) by Stormsong and Skyfire.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Ublaz Mad Eyes"
- Grath Longfletch is captured by corsairs, hypnotised into having sex with Ublaz, and then raped by Monitors with biologically implausible genitals.
- Sporked by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Queen Tsarmina, Daughter of Lord Verdauga Greeneyes"
- Tsarmina has consensual but extremely violent sex with her brother, ostensibly in a convoluted plan to gain the throne. Fortunately or unfortunately, as Tsarmina is a cat, the author refrained from making the obvious pun.
- Sporked by Nin Brandt and Luxury.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Sawney Rath"
- Actually does not show very much of Sawney Rath, which is good because the parts that do involve him show him raping his non-canonical preteen daughter (Molly Rath). The fic focuses mainly on Tagg, who is forced by a completely random prophecy to impregnate a random Mary Sue in order to produce the next Taggerung, ignoring the fact that Taggerungship is not carried by blood and the next one cannot be born until after the current one dies. Origin of the aforementioned Molly Rath and Moses Taggson.
- Sporked in two parts by Nin Brandt and Luxury.
- "Of Warlords and Pleasures: Urgan Nagru, the Foxwolf"
- Nagru is suddenly on good enough terms with his wife Silvamord to have sex with her. Apparently this situation changes back to their normal dysfunctionality later, or possibly they just get bored, because they then each proceed to have (dubiously-consensual in Silvamord's case and not-at-all-consensual in Nagru's case) sex with random rats. Silvamord suddenly has non-canonical hypnotic powers, breasts as big as her head, and a solid silver sex toy, the origin of these never being ascertained.
- Sporked by Naomi and Drake and Stormsong and Skyfire.
- "Among the Roses"
- A sequel of sorts to Gabool's installment. Mariel and Dandin randomly go skinny-dipping. Mariel pours out her heart about her suffering to Dandin and tells him the only way she can recover is if he has sex with her. He is fooled by this ploy. Contains possibly the most aggravating charge of the lot: in the Author's Notes the author announced that she chose to spell Brian Jacques' first name as "Bryan" because, quote, "It possesses a certain archaic flair that appeals to me," even though when spelled this way it is in fact not his name.
- Sporked by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove.
The end of the mass mission was celebrated with the Purging Party at the Official Fanfiction University of Redwall, at which the agents responsible were presented with the Urple Heart and everyone got very drunk.
The Missions in Order Edit
- "That Series Introduction," Agents Naomi and Drake (DMS - Naruto); Laburnum and Foxglove (DMS); Skyfire and Stormsong (DBS)
- "Ferahgo the Assassin," Agents Laburnum and Foxglove (DMS) with Agents Skyfire and Stormsong (DBS). Also known as the "Redneck Trees" mission.
- "The End", Agents Naomi and Drake (DMS - Naruto); Laburnum and Foxglove (DMS); Skyfire and Stormsong (DBS); Agent Nin Brandt (DCPS) and Luxury (DBS - LotR)