- [He] looked death in the face and quoted canon at it.
- —Mission 5, "Ring Child"
Agent Profile Edit
Nume is six foot one with short black hair and dark gray eyes. He is nearly always groomed impeccably, clean-shaven and a light application of gel to keep his hair from sticking up. He resembles nothing so much as a wiry cross between Hugo Weaving and Leonard Nimoy. He is farsighted, so his green-framed glasses allow him to read without holding the book (or computer screen) at arm's length. He dresses well, favoring pinstripes and a tie in a cool color palette, but always for utility as well as class. One never knows when one will need sturdy shoes and pants that can stand a trek through the wilderness.
For pictures, see Neshomeh's PPC folder at deviantART.
Acerbic, abrasive, sarcastic, dry... these just begin to cover it. Nume is not a people-person. However, although certainly not nice, he is good. He has shown on occasion that he cares what happens to at least a few people, such as his current partner and Jenni Robinson, who both insist on calling him a friend whether he likes it or not. He seems content to tolerate others as long as he's not required to be pleasant and no one tries to make him "lighten up" or "open up" or anything else in a skyward trajectory. He can even be said to get along with people who are equally content to mind their own business and not get personal. Eamon Brightbeard, for instance, has earned his respect in this regard.
Nume has an eidetic memory, which means that he remembers everything he's ever experienced with perfect recall. One can imagine this as both a blessing and a curse for a PPC agent. On the one hand, he knows his canon. On the other hand, he remembers everything he's ever experienced, which leaves him on edge and irritable. Only the flask of Bleepka at his hip stands between him and a psychotic episode.
Bad biology and bad medicine in particular annoy him more than most other transgressions against good storytelling (both of his parents worked in medicine), and he tends to respond by turning the sarcasm up to eleven and coming up with poetic disposal methods for any offending OCs. However, he can't deal with even the tamest manifestations of physical romance. He phrased his objections most eloquently to Agent Decima of the DBS when he told her, "Nobody should be writing this, let alone putting it out in public. It's indecent. ... I don't care one whit whether it's two men, a man and a woman, or the Giant Squid and Hogwarts Castle: I don't want to know about it." If any nudity or overly fond touching cross his path, he refuses to look and complains loudly until it's over.
He does have a sense of humor, but it tends to come at other people's expense.
Agent History Edit
Nume had a fairly standard birth on November 10, 1950, in the northeastern United States; two well-to-do, doctorly parents; and a quite normal name. His early education was rigidly Catholic, which is something he deliberately refuses to acknowledge and, in fact, delights in flouting with his tendency to blaspheme. He grew up in the late heyday of now-classic science fiction and eschewed the popular boogie culture of the '60s and '70s in favor of Star Trek and Tolkien.
His exceptional memory made him the target of all sorts of unwanted attention, but with the intelligence to match, he learned how to avoid it by the time he made it to high school. However, as an extremely awkward, gawky, and geeky youth, he was not able to avoid having his head stuffed into a toilet at least once. College proved better for him, though suffering through four years of slobs for roommates grated on his sense of decorum (but ultimately prepared him for life in a response center). In this time he also discovered that girls like tall, dark men who can recite literature and, after one or two roundly disappointing experiences, that he prefers not to attract them.
He majored in English literature because it was a field that demanded more of his mind than memorization and pattern recognition, and reading the classics fueled his understanding of and appreciation for his preferred fantasy and science fiction. With the intent of bringing these cult genres more into the mainstream one day, thus ending the ridicule of his fellow geeks, he continued to graduate school planning to eventually become a professor. The youth of the world should probably be quite relieved that did not happen.
Agent Supernumerary disappeared from his university library in the winter of Real World year 1976 and appeared in Headquarters in 2003 HST. L-space may or may not be to blame. Nume was twenty-five at the time, immersed in graduate studies. He was somewhat shocked to discover that two movies based on The Lord of the Rings had been produced, considering that the books had been published only a few years after he had been born and that he had left the Real World prior to the advent of the Ralph Bakshi and the Rankin-Bass films. (To his annoyance, he also missed the original theatrical release of Star Wars by just one year.) He was even more shocked to learn of the existence of fanfiction as an Internet phenomenon. When he realized the threat to canon posed by badfic, he quickly renounced his former life, including his real name, and signed up.
PPC Career Edit
He began his career in the Department of Floaters, working with Agent Cameo primarily in Tolkienverse, but also dabbling in crossovers and eventually fic set entirely in other 'verses as he caught up with more recently produced continua. He also completed a year at the Hogwarts Fanfiction Academy to broaden his scope and gain some skills, though this took place outside of his "official" timeline due to the way OFUs work. Despite severe personality conflicts with Cameo, he continued with her until sometime during 2006, when Nurse Robinson got thoroughly sick of seeing him in FicPsych and talked him into applying for a new partner. At the same time, he decided that his talents would be better utilized in Implausible Crossovers. The Lichen was happy to receive a new team, so the only thing left in order for the transfer to go through was to dig up a partner—preferably a non-psychotic one this time.
Meanwhile, Nume and Cameo were tapped for a special group mission to a very special fic, which ended unfinished with Nume being the only one to make it back to Headquarters. He already had a regular Bleep-stuff regimen to manage his memory, but this marks the completion of his escalation to Bleepka and his acquisition of a larger hip flask. He spent an undefined amount of time recovering in FicPsych and, in an uncharacteristic act of mercy on the part of Upstairs, was only given light duty until a replacement partner could be found.
Nurse Robinson again played a part by recommending the newly recruited Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill. Nume was initially quite keen to work with an Andalite, given the species' tendency toward advanced intelligence and emotional coolness, not to mention the promise of a very useful morphing ability; but due to the Laws of Narrative Irony, Ilraen turned out to not precisely fit the mold.
Nume makes it his business to be an expert on any continuum in which he finds himself, so he spends his off-duty time consuming any media he can get his hands on to make up for the twenty-seven years of history he skipped. Over a decade living with HQ's distorted passage of time has helped make up for the gap, but with new continua exploding all the time, he's constantly playing catch-up. New sci-fi particularly intrigues him, but he can't seem to escape Harry Potter on the job.
Outside of missions, Nume has been involved in several landmark events in and around HQ. He is a veteran of the Assimilation Crisis, where he helped neuralyze a Borg cube; the 2008 Macrovirus Epidemic and Mary Sue Invasion, where he
fought in was unconscious for the Battle of the Cafeteria; the mass exorcism of Robecca from the land of Narnia; and the Sue invasion of the International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction, where he and the other defenders earned the title of Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Mochi for their efforts. His full title is now Agent Supernumerary, BA, GCMG. (The latter may or may not also stand for "God Calls Me God.")
In April 2016, he was tapped to help take down the Legendary "Agony in Pink." (Details regarding this mission are classified. Any rumors that Nume was ever a Pink Ranger with a Flying Pig Zord are the ravings of lunatics.)
Two months later, he was sent back into "Subjugation" for a final reckoning with his old bête noire. All in all, 2016 was not a great year for him.
All years are given in HQ Standard Time.
- Arrives in HQ from 1976 in the Real World, probably via L-Space, at age 25.
- Joins the Department of Floaters; partnered with Agent Cameo.
- Plothole 1 (lost) and Plothole 2 take place.
- Plothole 3 takes place, prompting him to finally seek Jenni out again. It goes better. He agrees to continue as her client.
- Continues working plothole control with Agent Cameo, as recorded in Plotholes 4-7.
- Also completes a year at HFA to learn the Harry Potter canon and some skills (and is put back in HQ almost immediately after he left, after the manner of OFUs).
- Helps Logan and Entropy take out stray badfic characters in the Cafeteria when their mission goes awry. Never mind that he was running away at the time. To be fair, he was probably trying to celebrate his third anniversary of recruitment and didn't deserve this.
- Applies for a transfer and a new partner. Stops seeing Jenni as a client.
- After his recovery period, continues on light duty in Floaters. Plothole 8 takes place in this time.
- Spends the rest of his time with nothing much to do; hangs out in the Lounge.
- Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill arrives, but in FicPsych.
- Volunteers himself as material for Ilraen's human morph.
- Officially partnered with Agent Ilraen and transferred to Implausible Crossovers. (Happy birthday from the Flowers!)
- First recorded mission with Ilraen.
- Helps in Operation: Neuralyze!
- November 10
- 30th birthday.
- March 11
- March 12–April 17
- Stuck in RC for the duration of the Macrovirus Epidemic; almost fights in the Sue Invasion. Recorded in "Ilraen's Journal" and "The Battle of the Cafeteria." (The former supersedes the latter where they conflict.)
- Along with half the rest of HQ, helps Agents Lunac and Liadan exorcise Robecca from the land of Narnia in "The Youngest Goddess and a PPC Emergency," Part One, Part Two.
- January 31–February 1
- Involved in the gender-bender incident. Not happy about it.
- Late Summer
- Fourth recorded mission with Ilraen. Mistakes are made; shenanigans involving time travel result.
- Ilraen seeks forgiveness by doing Nume's laundry.
- February 5
- Aids in the defense of the International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction, becoming a Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Mochi.
- Early Summer
- Fifth recorded mission with Ilraen.
- Sixth recorded mission, this time with Agent Decima of the Department of Bad Slash.
- July 24–31
- Suffers having the memory of a goldfish during the Poison Joke Incident.
- Is less than thrilled when Ilraen joins Team Nevermind in the All-HQ Australian Indoor-Rules Quiddich League.
- November 10
- 35th birthday.
- Marks his tenth anniversary of arriving in Headquarters and becoming an agent.
- October (probably)
- Seventh recorded mission with Ilraen. Also along for the ride is Jennifer Robinson. (Note on the timeline: the boys appear to have experienced some condensed time between missions 6 and 7, since this takes place both "shortly after" and a little over two years since M6.)
- Takes part in the Second PPC HQ Hunger Games, placing 4th out of 24 after being embarrassingly nibbled to death by
- February 27
- Eighth recorded mission with Ilraen. Also with Rina and Zeb of "Rose Potter" fame.
- Shortly afterward, calls on the Lichen.
- Knows trouble when he sees it after Ilraen receives a visit from Farilan-Haothil-Esthine.
- Takes part in the Third PPC HQ Hunger Games, placing 16th out of 48 after dying of "thirst" upon being stabbed with his own syringe of concentrated potassium chloride solution by Derik.
- Helps to exorcise the Everfree Forest in pony form. (This event may have happened out of sequence for Nume and Ilraen.)
- February (probably)
- Trouble confirmed when Farilan comes back.
- Ninth recorded mission with Ilraen.
- Ilraen takes Farilan out to New Caledonia for a field study of humans. And nothing else.
- Ilraen finally finishes his CAD project. Well, almost. At least it doesn't explode.
- Tapped for the mission to "Agony in Pink." (Details regarding this mission are classified. Any rumors that Nume was ever a Pink Ranger with a Flying Pig Zord are the ravings of lunatics.)
- Returns to "Subjugation" ten years after the failure of the first attempt.
- November 10
- 40th birthday.
Mission Logs Edit
Partnered with Cameo Edit
Note: These are not actual missions, but instances of the game Fill the Plothole that got absorbed into the characters' backstory as they evolved into real agents instead of joke characters. Please to not be taking them too seriously. Thanks!
- Plothole 1: "A Tale of Two Prince's" (Lord of the Rings)
- Story lost.
- Plothole 2: "Born of Hope" (Lord of the Rings x Star Wars)
- Aragorn loves and marries another before Arwen. She dies during the birth of their child. Soon though the dangers of middle earth force the child to be hidden, even from Aragorn. What will happen to this hidden child and how will her existence affect the [sic.]
- Plothole 3: "He's Family" (Lord of the Rings)
- Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin and Iris live in normal times. Iris is Merry's adapted sister,and what happened when they found out something about her that could tear the family apart. OneShot
- Plothole 4: "Untitled" (Lord of the Rings)
- After Legolas is nearly killed by an assassin, Thranduil hires a halfElf to protect his son. She is more skilled than any killer, but as the clues surrounding the attack are slowly deciphered, Thranduil realizes Legolas's death is the least of his worries
- Plothole 5: "The World As It Should Have Been" (Phantom of the Opera), with Nurse Jenni and Agent Neshomeh
- Erick longed for her, Raoul was engaged to her, but Christine could never get her angel out of her mind, he had been her protector, whom did she really love? EC pairing, no Raoul bashing...hey they all loved somebody! My first FanFic, reviews please!
- Plothole 6: "The Flames That Consume Us" (Phantom of the Opera)—Nume solo. Sort of.
- Raoul is dead, and a daughter of the Vikings seeks revenge. Placed 7th out of 24th in the Third Morbidity Contest. Definitely morbid and disgusting.
- Plothole 7: "The Night Of The Killer Bunnies" (Wallace and Gromit x Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde)
- It's about this liquid substance and whoever drinks it becomes a mass murderer, but since it's about bunnies, they don't kill, no, they DESTROY! Haha!
- Plothole 8: "Not Tom Riddle, Not Yet The Dark Lord" (Harry Potter)—Nume solo.
- Voldemort's taken over, and everyone Hermione cares about is dead. So she uses a time turner and goes back to the start, to teach Tom Riddle to love, as he helps her cope with the loss of those who he would kill. Irony, trust issues, and new emotions.
- Note: Although Cameo went MIA prior to this and was therefore no longer really Nume's partner, the paperwork was mislaid until Nume was finally assigned to Ilraen, and thus this installment is still on the books under "Cameo and Supernumerary."
Partnered with Ilraen Edit
- Mission 1: "Family Ties" (Harry Potter)
- In which the agents have an unexpected first mission.
- Mission 2: "What Friends Will Do" (Young Wizards)
- In which the agents confront bad science and loud noises.
- Mission 3: "Harry Potter and the Dragonriders of Pern" (Harry Potter x Dragonriders of Pern), with Nurse Jenni (FicPsych) and Agents Sedri (DMS), Maria Falcone (DMS), Lunac (DMS), and Circe (DF)
- In which the agents finally get a crossover and nothing goes as planned.
- Interlude 1: "Ilraen's Journal"
- In which the importance of Bleepka is made clear.
- Oh, and there was an invasion or something, too.
- Mission 4: "The Dark Side" (World of Warcraft x Fullmetal Alchemist), with Agents Eamon Brightbeard and Barid (APD - WoW)
- In which RC 999 meets RC 1986 for a combined mission. With surprise guest appearances!
- Interlude 2: "Dirty Laundry," Ilraen with Orken 7861
- Mission 5: "Ring Child" (NSFB) (Lord of the Rings x Harry Potter), with Agents Suicide and Diocletian (DMS)
- In which Suicide and Diocletian come along for "evaluation" and Nume says the F-word a lot.
- Stu: Archir the Emerald
- Mission 6: Diptych: "Secret Agents" and "Cosmic Love"
- 6.1: "Secret Agents" (Alex Rider x Harry Potter), Ilraen with Agents Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall (DMS)
- In which Ilraen teams up with Agents Orken and Thomas to keep a Sue from marrying Alex Rider and infiltrating Hogwarts.
- 6.2: "Cosmic Love" (Twilight x Harry Potter), Nume with Agent Decima (DBS)
- In which love is found in all the wrong places.
- 6.1: "Secret Agents" (Alex Rider x Harry Potter), Ilraen with Agents Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall (DMS)
- Mission 7: "Blood Raining Night" (NSFW/NSFB) (Hetalia x Inuyasha x The Legend of Korra x Hellsing x Princess Mononoke x Elfen Lied), with Nurse Jennifer Robinson (FicPsych)
- In which cleanliness is next to godliness.
- Sue: Reicheru Ketsuekineko-oni
- Interlude 3: "Nume: Ten Years Thence"
- In which Area 51 is real. (Takes place before "Blood Raining Night.")
- Mission 8: "What's Latin for 'You Suck'?" (Ranger's Apprentice x The Lord of the Rings), with Agents Rina Dives and Zeb (DMS)
- In which Nume crushes Rina's dreams and their partners try to make it better.
- Interlude 4: "First Sight"
- In which Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill meets Farilan-Haothil-Esthine.
- Interlude 5: "Second Glance"
- In which Ilraen gets a hoof in the door.
- Mission 9: "Full Metal and the Hogwarts Mishap" (Harry Potter x Fullmetal Alchemist)
- In which mangled canon characters are not necessarily an agent's biggest problem.
- Interlude 6: "Third Kind," Ilraen with Farilan-Haothil-Esthine
- In which there are close alien encounters.
- Interlude 7: "The Long Night of Agent Supernumerary," Nume with Henry Robinson, Luxury, and Jennifer Robinson
- In which an agent must recover a lost mini, pet, or child in his care. (Takes place between "What's Latin" and "First Sight.")
- Prelude: "Missing Time" (FicPsych), Nume with Jennifer Robinson
- In which the newest member of FicPsych gets her first client, and he hasn't heard of Bleeprin yet. (Takes place before everything else.)