Agent Starwind is a member of the Department of Mary Sues, but is mostly one of the editors for The Multiverse Monitor. That's the REAL Multiverse Monitor, thank you very much. She was created by Starwind Rohana, but is now written by Huinesoron.
Agent Profile[]
Name[]
Despite some speculation to the contrary, her name really is "Starwind Rohana".[2] Estelnar Celebduin sometimes calls her "Breeze"[3] or "Elensol",[4] mostly to wind her up. Starwind retaliates by calling her "Hopeflame"[5] or "Hope-in-flame".[1]
Appearance[]
Starwind is tall - taller than her elvish partner Estelnar,[3] - and blonde,[2] with a Scottish accent. She occasionally pulls her clothes off[6] and paints herself in woad.[7]
Personality[]
Starwind has a Scottish temper,[2] which she only sometimes bothers to restrain. She also has ADD,[8] takes (ineffective) pills to keep her from "seeing stuff that isn't there",[2], and has described herself as "incurably insane".[9] On top of all that, she suffers from a strange condition which occasionally makes her go berserker. When this happens, broken walls, bones, and limbs are likely to result. There appears to be no discrimination between 'friend' and 'foe', which led to one incident when she accidentally killed a minor character (subsequently resurrected) in Animorphs fandom.[10]
Unsurprisingly, she takes issue with badfics not showing respect towards people with mental disorders.[4]
She has a strong protective instinct towards children,[11] and her slang tends towards eclectic terms like "ravving",[2] "fen",[12] and on one occasion, "RAVVING DAUGHTER OF A FEN-ZAVIK SLAGGER!"[1]
Agent History[]
Childhood[]
Starwind grew up in Scotland, with her fangirl sister Rainbee[2] and her parents.[9] While still living at home, she fell through a plothole in reality and landed in HQ. It took around two minutes for the presence of an elf and a Flower to tip her off to the fact that she was in another universe.[2] The promise of defending the canon (as well as hanging out with the Nac Mac Feegle and not being yelled at for going berzerk) persuaded her to sign up as an Assassin.[13]
Early Career[]
For the first year or so of her employment, Starwind seems to have been without a permanent partner.[14] She operated with temporary partners or solo until being teamed with the agent who had first encountered her in HQ - Estelnar Celebduin.
Unlike many agents, Starwind continued to return home. She sometimes babysat her sister,[9] was rumoured to have trashed the London Underground,[15] and continued to do schoolwork,[16] though presumably this was some form of distance learning.
The Multiverse Monitor[]
Seven months into their partnership, Starwind and Estelnar hit on the idea of starting a HQ newspaper. Taking the name from a newsletter which had briefly circulated a couple of years earlier, in March 2006 HST they launched The Multiverse Monitor.[16]
Unlike previous and future holders of the name, the Monitor was more concerned with sensationalism than accuracy. They deliberately courted conspiracy theories,[12] and dedicated Page 3 to revealing pictures of agents (when they could get them, which was seldom). There were apparently multiple variants of the first issue. One version included Agent Kayleigh claiming there are aliens in the Disturbing Acts of Violence Department[12] (which there are, but that's nothing special in the PPC), while another had Dafydd Illian on Page 3 rather than Agent Suicide.[17]
The Monitor ran for 14 issues, covering 16 months (two issues being skipped for lack of content). By the start of 2007 HST they were struggling to fill each issue, with Starwind and Estelnar going so far as to kidnap random agents to serve as their reporters.[18] Being the Multiverse Monitor, they blamed this on a conspiracy led by the Sunflower Official.[19]
In June 2007, they announced that they would be going on a 6-month hiatus, resuming in December of that year.[20] There are hints that at least one issue was published in 2008, carrying the story of the Great Chocolate Heist,[6] but to all intents and purposes the Multiverse Monitor entered what Starwind later termed a "brief multi-year slump".[21]
Hiatus[]
Starwind and Estelnar theoretically continued working missions, but sometime in 2008 Starwind ran off and spent three years living with the Nac Mag Feegles in the Courtyard.[6] She returned in time to witness the SO's Message in 2012, but the Monitor remained idle. The creation of a new claimant to the name, initially as a sporadically-printed newsletter in 2011,[22] and then as a full magazine in 2013,[23] led to the common belief that the tabloid was dead for good.
The REAL Multiverse Monitor[]
In 2015, that belief was proven false. Beginning as a one-page newsletter titled The Real Monitor,[24] by 2018 (if not earlier) they were carrying out full interviews.[25] The first full issue accessible outside HQ was released in March 2022,[21] and they haven't really slowed down since.
The title of the revived tabloid remains The Multiverse Monitor, but when the other users of the name are involved, they often call themselves the Real or even REAL Real Multiverse Monitor.[26] They are happy to drop this when it can trick someone into thinking they are the respectable version, of course.[6]
Timeline[]
- 2004
- 'The Silver Lining' - Falls into PPC HQ and encounters Estelnar Celebduin.
- August 2004
- 'The Smiting Ceremony' - Starwind participates in the Smiting Ceremony.
- January 2005
- 'Woodsprite of the North' - Starwind participates in the Alumia exorcism, temporarily partnered with Sarc.
- ca. August 2005
- Starwind is partnered with Estelnar.
- December 2005
- 'My Head Hurts' - PPC mission with Estelnar.
- February 2006
- 'Just Another Day's Work' - Starwind and Estelnar babysit Rainbee and her friends.
- 'Oh, the Culture Slaughter' - Starwind and Estelnar take an LotR mission.
- 'Illusions are Easily Shattered' - Starwind and Estelnar take another mission.
- March 2006
- 'Starting Out' - Starwind and Estelnar set up their RC for producing the Monitor.
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 1' - The first issue of the Multiverse Monitor is released.
- April 2006
- 'Springless Autumn' - Estelnar and Starwind work on the second issue of the Monitor. By this point, it is the longest-lasting partnership Estelnar has had.
- 'Searching' - Estelnar and Starwind get very angry on a mission.
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 2' - The second issue of the Monitor is released.
- May 2006
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 3' - The third issue of the Monitor is released.
- The Monitor team may or may not have been taken hostage in exchange for chocolate.
- June 2006
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 4' - The fourth issue of the Monitor is released.
- July 2006
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 5' - The fifth issue of the Monitor is released.
- August 2006
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 6' - The sixth issue of the Monitor is released.
- September 2006
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 7' - The seventh issue of the Monitor is released.
- October 2006
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 8' - The eighth issue of the Monitor is released.
- November 2006
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 9' - The ninth issue of the Monitor is released.
- December 2006
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 10' - The tenth issue of the Monitor is released.
- January 2007
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 11' - The eleventh issue of the Monitor is released.
- March 2007
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 12' - The twelfth issue of the Monitor is released.
- April 2007
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 13' - The thirteenth issue of the Monitor is released.
- June 2007
- 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 14' - The fourteenth issue of the Monitor is released. The Monitor goes on hiatus.
- January 2008
- Possible fifteenth issue of the Monitor, covering the Great Chocolate Heist of '07. If this ever existed, all trace of it has been lost.
- 2008
- Starwind runs off and lives with the PPC Nac Mac Feegle Clan in the Courtyard for three years.
- May 2012
- 'PPC: Flight of Swans' - Starwind attempts a 'revolution' by yelling spoilers for lost books.
- ca. 2014
- 'Reaction Shots' - Starwind and Estelnar have temporal issues on a mission.
- September 2015
- 'What Has Been Seen' - The Real Monitor returns.
- September 2018
- 'Talk Like 15 Pirates' - Starwind and Estelnar interview Agent Rāmwē.
- March 2022
- 'Multiverse Monitor: March 2022' - Starwind and Estelnar defraud the mail service.
- June 2022
- 'Multiverse Monitor: June 2022' - Starwind and Estelnar seamlessly blend news and libel.
- April 2023
- 'Multiverse Monitor: April 2023' - Starwind and Estelnar offend multiple religions.
- June 2023
- 'Multiverse Monitor: June 2023' - Starwind and Estelnar engage in theatrical piracy, and we don't mean Gilbert & Sullivan.
- September 2023
- 'Talk Like 20 Pirates' - Starwind attempts some Talk Like A Pirate Day interviews.
- October 2023
- 'Multiverse Monitor: October 2023' - Starwind and Estelnar upset the PPC's veterans and techies alike.
References[]
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 'Searching' by Starwind, 16 Apr 2006
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 'The Silver Lining' by Starwind, 27 May 2006
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 'My Head Hurts' by Starwind, 10 Dec 2006
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 'Illusions are Easily Shattered' by Starwind, ca. Feb 2006
- ↑ 'Oh, the Culture Slaughter' by Starwind, ca. Feb 2006
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 'Multiverse Monitor: October 2023' by Huinesoron & Sergio Turbo, 10 Oct 2023
- ↑ 'The Multiverse Monitor: Issue 3' by Starwind, May 2006
- ↑ 'Starting Out' by Starwind, ca. Mar 2006
- ↑ 9.0 9.1 9.2 'Just Another Day's Work' by Starwind, ca. Feb 2006
- ↑ Added to Wiki article by Starwind, 1 Jun 2008
- ↑ 'The Smiting Ceremony' by Araeph, 3 Aug 2004
- ↑ 12.0 12.1 12.2 'Springless Autumn' by Starwind, 8 Apr 2006
- ↑ 'Multiverse Monitor: June 2023' by Huinesoron, 21 June 2023
- ↑ 'Woodsprite of the North' by Huinesoron, 1 Jan 2005
- ↑ 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 6' by Starwind, August 2006
- ↑ 16.0 16.1 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 1' by Starwind, March 2006
- ↑ 'Tabloid' by Huinesoron, 20 Mar 2006
- ↑ 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 11' by Starwind, Jan 2007
- ↑ 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 12' by Starwind, Mar 2007
- ↑ 'Multiverse Monitor: Issue 14' by Starwind, June 2007
- ↑ 21.0 21.1 'Multiverse Monitor: March 2022 by Huinesoron, 27 March 2022
- ↑ 'Bled-Stained Days at IAHF: Chapter 20' by Lily Winterwood, 11 Oct 2011
- ↑ 'Multiverse Monitor: April 2013' by various, April 2013
- ↑ 'What Has Been Seen: Steve & Tango' by Huinesoron, 20 Sep 2015
- ↑ 'Talk Like 15 Pirates' by Huinesoron, 20 Sep 2018
- ↑ Board post by Huinesoron, 9 Apr 2023