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The Special Interdepartmental Elven Languages Unit (abbr. SIELU) is a division of the Department of Floaters designated especially to handle badfics whose problems aren't bad enough to warrant attention from the other overworked departments, but that are still guilty of mangling one or more of Middle-earth's Elven languages to the point of seriously disrupting the Elves.

SIELU is headed by the Poison Ivy. Its flash patch is the Sindarin text for "Wisdom."[1]

The division and its original personnel were created by Hellga.


The entrance to SIELU is a bright red door just outside the entrance to the DMS. The door has taped to it a sheet of paper reading "PPC :: SIELU. Not sure? Don't come in!" in red marker. Behind the door is the Poison Ivy's office, which contains a wooden desk and another door to the right. This leads to SIELU proper, which has no other access from the outside. It's larger than the average response center, but one wall is taken up by the console and the others are covered by bookshelves packed with leather-bound volumes, dog-eared paperbacks, student notebooks with tea spilled on them, papyruses, parchment manuscripts, and other pieces of writing in various languages about, by, or vaguely related to Elves. It also contains a large desk and an armchair comfortable enough to sleep in.[2]


In SIELU, it is standard procedure to contact badfic authors with concrit and an offer to help them improve. If the author is unrepentant, only then may a mission take place.[3]

When a mission does take place, SIELU uses a specialized charge list designed with Elven languages and culture in mind.[4]

Special Equipment[]

Makes-Things created an experimental Two-in-One Character Analysis Device specifically for SIELU. It analyzes both original characters and canon characters.[3]

Agent Lambda, being a pharmacist in real life, used needles and tranquilizer guns filled with her own personal blend of narcotics.[5]


SIELU was originally created as an independent unit in September 2003.[6] It was merged into the Department of Floaters sometime in the mid-2000s due to its small size and niche directive.

Known Agents[]

  • Lambda is the original SIELU agent, and the only one to publish mission reports from the unit so far. She joined by answering an ad for "a calm person with a strong nervous system and endless patience."[3]
  • Emma Kaylan was a member of SIELU until her death in 2008.

Division Records[]

Home: PPC: SIELU on PPC: The Lost Tales

Missions from this division are listed on the Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Floaters, Special Interdepartmental Elven Languages Unit.