PPC Wiki

Slorp was the name given by the cafeteria workers to the aberration that attacked HQ during the 2013 Blackout.

The Cafeteria had, prior to the Blackout, collected a large amount of raw meat from Mary Sues, Gary Stus, and Cute Animal Friends to be used in its meals, such as the infamous Sue Soufflé. A large portion of the meat was left sitting long enough for a combination of the Cafeteria's questionable food-preparation methods and the improbability tendencies of its glitter-saturated component meat to bring the entire mass to a semblance of life.

The cafeteria workers reacted surprisingly quickly to Slorp's birth, managing to jury-rig a containment field for the beast at the sad expense of several of their staff, which Slorp subsumed to gain biomass. However, the containment field was made unskillfully and required a vast amount of power, which taxed the Department of Dead Author Electricity Generation to its limits and resulted in a power outage for all of HQ outside of DoDAEG and the main Cafeteria.

The loss of power caused a forced shutdown of HQ's shields, allowing out-of-control dimensional bleeding that let in, among other things, the Doctor and a triad of Weeping Angels. The Doctor's investigation of the outage led him to the Cafeteria, where he and Agent Morgan discovered Slorp's containment field. In an attempt to kill the meatloaf monstrosity, Morgan shot at it and missed, critically damaging the containment field and allowing Slorp to escape.

The freed Slorp went on a foul-smelling rampage through HQ, and would have likely consumed several agents if not for the warning sent out by Christianne Shieh and Eledhwen Elerossiel to take shelter in available RCs; Slorp's lack of opposable thumbs made it unable to open doors. The aberration's confinement to the hallways led to it spotting and subsuming one of the three Weeping Angels, causing Slorp to grow wings and develop somewhat-weakened versions of the Angel's powers. Despite its lesser abilities, Angel Slorp managed to capture and displace Harris Frost of Intelligence and Travis of the A/V Division before it was next confronted.

The Doctor fights Slorp.

During that encounter, Agents Nikki Cherryflower and Sergio Turbo, who had been pulled a year into the future due to the time-space malfunctions caused by HQ's failed shield, blew up the beast, but Slorp reformed, having lost its Weeping Angel abilities but only growing more enraged from the former destruction of its body. The Doctor exploited this anger to lure Slorp into a Reality Room, where it was promptly destroyed for a final time by the quick application of a hand grenade.


Since Slorp was composed of Suvian components, it developed a range of dangerous and unlikely abilities, the most potent of which was its ability to consume other creatures, allowing it to incorporate the victim's appearance and abilities. It was not a perfect transfer, shown by Angel Slorp being unable to move as quickly as the original Weeping Angel was, as well as only being able to send its victims a short distance away rather than through space and time.

Slorp also showed an immunity to most conventional weaponry, as well as the power to reassemble itself when it was broken apart. These abilities were taken away when it entered the Reality Room, as the infamous area made the creature into simple mobile meat, which removed all of the glitter-granted power it possessed.