Skyfire is an exorcist in the Bad Slash department.
She is currently NOT AVAILABLE FOR USE IN PPC WRITING by anyone except Laburnum, who asked her original author specifically if she could feature her. Mention her name if you will, though, but please credit and link to Snowspine.
Skyfire started out as a subcaptain in a vermin horde known as the Nighthunt in the epic Redwall fanfic "Vengeance Quest." Agents Laburnum and Foxglove, sent to investigate the potential Sue qualities of the heroine Riala Goldentail, found to their pleasant surprise that it was actually rather good, having slipped through the net when an Intelligence agent was ill.
Unfortunately, they also discovered the fic was rather violent and prone to featuring characters being killed in creative ways. Two of said characters were Skyfire and a fellow Nighthunt member named Stormsong. Laburnum and Foxglove, despite their love for a good splatter scene, finally discovered their consciences, or possibly just wanted to do SOMETHING since they were already wasting time being in the fic without being allowed to kill anything, and saved these two characters from gruesome ends, though it's debatable as to whether their new life in Bad Slash is preferable to said gruesome ends. Skyfire at least does seem to be coping fairly well, and bears the Bad Slash rubber ducky with pride.
Skyfire is easily spottable, even among the PPC, since she is a humanoid stoat (Mustela erminea). She can be distinguished from other humanoid stoats (e.g. in Mossverse missions) by her reddish fur, and from humanoid weasels by the black tip to her tail. HQ doesn't have winters as such, so her ermine coat doesn't usually come in unless the heating remains broken for a very long time.
In human form, she wears her hair in a long red French braid with a black tip. She stated that she wears it like this because she "misses her tail" and the braid is the closest a human disguise can get.
Skyfire is unusually sweet-natured for a Mossflower stoat, and her combat skills translated quite well into exorcism techniques; she’s strong enough to pin down just about any possessed victim, and swordplay strengthens one’s paws nicely for bell-work.
She considers humans to be extremely weird, and given the humans she knows, she is entirely correct in this assessment, but she gets on quite well with them. She seems to be the only comparatively emotionally-healthy member of the little group (at least by PPC standards), and is generally the one who drags her friends to their group therapy sessions and shouts at the assassins when they do something particularly grotesque to a Sue, mostly out of worry that one day they’ll slip up and try it on a real person. After what Laburnum and Foxglove did to the creatures who attacked Laburnum back in VQ, the Redneck Trees incident, and the time they gave a Stu to Drip Rat, Skyfire now makes them use the "Rape Jar": a child's moneybank in the shape of an octopus, which they must put fifty Ankh-Morpork dollars in if they pull a similar stunt. (They are trying to stop, though more because of their own self-respect and the fact that they don't like upsetting Skyfire than because of the money.) Bets are being placed on when she’s going to snap — as they say, it’s always the quiet ones. Alternate rumour has it that she actually enjoys the job, but that can’t possibly be true. If it were fun, it wouldn’t be Bad Slash work.
Currently she and her room-mate are fostering Molly Rath and Moses Taggson. The official story is that the kids would settle in better if they were allowed to be around their own kind, but most people are convinced it was entirely because the Sunflower Official hates them after the chaos caused by their recruitment. Skyfire is trying hard to be a "good mommy," but somehow remains oblivious to Molly's violent tendencies, writing them off with "Well, who can blame her with a backstory like that?" This can probably be blamed on the Laws of Comedy, since Skyfire is of perfectly normal intelligence in all other areas. Or possibly it's just Molly's disarming cuteness.
Despite her usual niceness, Skyfire is not above scaring people into compliance, if she can find someone on whom it works. If she smiles in the right way, she can very effectively remind onlookers that she is in fact a predator, as seen when she "persuaded" Naomi to assist in the rescue of Cheri.
She still hasn't lived down the incident at the Official Fanfiction University of Redwall where she got zapped with the Male Variant #5 setting of the TF-Gun. The effect of this setting is to transform the zappee into an attractive male, add attraction to females to their usual orientation, and give them super-pheromones which make them attractive to every non-blood-relative, male or female, of their own or similar species. In a place where the inhabitants' reproductive instincts are primarily triggered by scent, and not many of the mustelidae put social graces on their list of priorities, this was a disturbing and embarrassing experience to say the least.
Mission Reports Edit
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Some missions also available at RC 88 - in progress.
Partnered with Stormsong Edit
- September 2006
- Late 2006
- An accident with a TARDIS during training transports Stormsong and Skyfire forward in time, meaning they didn't do their first mission until ...
- Summer 2007
- That Series (Redwall)
- WARNING: Missions in That Series are neither Work Safe nor Brain Safe.
- That Series Introduction
- In which an alert is sent out to all Mossflower agents. Stormsong and Skyfire's (currently) first known appearance at PPC HQ.
- The first mission in That Series (on archive.is)
- In which Stormsong and Skyfire get more than they bargained for.
- The third mission in That Series (on archive.is)
- In which the most bizarre, if not quite the most disgusting installment of That Series is dealt with.
- The fourth mission in That Series (on archive.is)
- In which the agents bond, and combat scenes possibly more bizarre than in the previous mission.
- The fifth mission in That Series
- In which the agents receive a distinct lack of warnings from the Intelligence Department, and combat possibly the largest number of irritating canon breaks yet. Also known as the Redneck Trees mission.
- Interlude: New Kids
- In which Skyfire takes Stormsong to Medical – with unexpected results.
- The tenth mission in That Series
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- April 2008
- Late 2010
- MST3K: "Blood Omen" (unfinished).
- Early 2011