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Richard Ulysses Kalmer, known by most as simply "Kalmer," is an agent in the Disturbing Acts of Violence Department. He is written by Ekyl and Spud Avec.

Agent Profile[]


Kalmer is most distinguishable by the fact that he is almost never in uniform. He makes no secret of the fact that he much prefers red and yellow over the standard black, and doesn't even bother wearing the "proper" uniform unless he has to deal with a Flower. Even then, he'll opt for at least some other colours with the outfit. He tends to wear some form of robe or coat, though he's also been seen in more casual attire. Kalmer's hair is jet black and relatively long, reaching down to his shoulders. Coupled with the wire-framed glasses, blue eyes, and the stubble on his chin, it gives him something of a boyish look. In terms of build, he stands six foot even and is a bit lean, though he does have some muscle from the years of Action work.


Nobody who works in the DAVD should smile as much as Richard Kalmer does. Nevertheless, the man is always inexplicably cheerful, and little other than a direct attempt on his life can shake it. If he were an agent in any other department, his cheery demeanour and ready grin would be disarming, but the nature of his work and the DAVD's reputation more or less guarantee that he only weirds people out. Between himself and Cham, Kalmer is the less nervous of the two, and tends to rush into things more readily, though he can also make an effort at rationality if he needs to.

He is one of the agents on FicPsych's watchlist for agents who tend to lust too much on their missions; this is best not thought about given the content of his missions. He generally goes without Bleeprin or its derivatives - unlike his partner, this is by choice, as a show of support for Cham's allergy to bleeproducts.


He claims that he and his partner joined around the same time, and hasn't talked much about his history otherwise. What is known is that he and Cham have been working together in the DAVD since 2005 HST, and survived the department's near-destruction during the Black Cats' invasion.

They were the first to discover Agent Maxie wandering around HQ, taking her to Medical and later FicPsych.