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The Radioactive Moss Creature is an agent in the Department of Improbabilities. It is written by EileenAlphabet, who got Permission for it on the 1st of July, 2011.

Agent Profile[]


Ever since the devils rebelled against Heaven and got kicked out, they have been trying to find a way back in or, failing that, a way to send a weapon to Heaven.

When they didn't have any success with their attempts, they tried to just make something—anything—that could go there. Surprisingly, what they came up with was the Radioactive Moss Creature. It was able to withstand the light of Heaven, but it was pretty useless, since it wasn't the least bit evil or dangerous. So the devils started to experiment on it, trying to copy its resistance to the Heavenly light. The experiments were extremely painful and it is not a time the RMC has happy memories of, but it ended when a devil decided to defect from Hell and, as her first good deed, freed the RMC.

It followed her to Earth where she met up with some angels and then, having nowhere else to go, followed the angels to Heaven, much to the surprise of the angels. It was detained by the angels of Wisdom, who then started subjecting it to experiments. It wasn't quite as much of an improvement as the RMC could have hoped for, but at least the angels used sedatives during the experiments and it was allowed to use its spare time to read, watch TV, and play games.

This went on until the angels of Heaven's Internal Security got impatient, declared the RMC a sleeper agent, and demanded that it be executed. However, before that could happen, the archangel of Death took an interest in the RMC. She invoked an obscure rule stating that she has a right to veto any execution in Heaven, and the RMC was spared. What then happened and how the RMC got out of Heaven is unclear.

It featured in a couple of short fics set in the original story's continuum and in the yearly Christmas crackfic that the author writes with her friends. This is also where it met Mittens.

However, in the end, it was deemed just a little too weird to work properly in the rather straight-faced main story. It is believed that it either fell through one of the many plotholes in the crackfic to the PPC or simply went there, having nowhere else to go.

It occasionally returns to its home continuum to star in crossovers and one-shots and in 2011 it once again had a role in the yearly Christmas crackfic.


The Radioactive Moss Creature resembles an anteater made out of lush, green moss. It appears to be wearing a brown fedora, but that is actually a part of its head. It is slightly radioactive, but not dangerously so. It doesn't wear a uniform, only a black armband around its front leg, with a flash patch on.


The Radioactive Moss Creature is generally very calm and collected, although it has been known to break down in one way or another when a very long mission becomes too much. It is happy with its position at the PPC and happy to be partnered with Agent Mittens; the latter has led to some speculation that the Flowers favour the RMC because it is also a plant-based life form, but the rumour is not given much credit. After all, while slightly uncommon, it is not exactly unheard of for agents to not drive each other crazy, so most regard it as a simple oversight in the Department of Personnel.

In missions, the RMC tries to be harsh but fair. If it is not certain of a charge, it will err on the side of not charging. On the other hand, it has a bit of a petty streak and enjoys charging for small but stupid errors, even more so than the great canon breaches.

The RMC has a mild phobia for large fires and usually leaves Agent Mittens to take care of torching non-canonical areas.

It acts as both a friend and mentor for the less experienced Agent Mittens, and has a deep fondness and respect for the young devil.

The RMC has no name, since it is the only one of its kind and therefore does not need one to distinguish it from others. Also, it prefers to be referred to as 'it' since it has no gender; even when it is disguised in female form, it is still not a woman, it merely looks like one. This should not be taken as an invitation to treat the RMC with disrespect or as less of a person than those with names and a gender. In fact, treating the RMC with any kind of disrespect is a sure way to get a huff and a 'Good day, Sir' from the RMC and a knife to the stomach from Mittens.


The RMC has a pet, an orange kitten made of tulips named Aniseed, that originated in a mission by Astral Void.

List of Minis[]

Note: If you recognise one of the minis as actually belonging to someone else, please get in touch so that agents can return it to its rightful keeper.

Mission Reports[]

Home: RC 170

Partnered with Mittens[]

Other Appearances[]


Original agent profile posted with Permission request.