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Princess Rikai was a Potterverse (allegedly) Mary Sue.

Character History[]

Rikai was a princess in a bizarre alternate dimension which, in the words of Pottersues, "looks like The Thousand And One Nights, except everyone has Japanese names". She was going to be forced into an arranged marriage, and attempted to escape to an alternate dimension via a magical portal which turned out to have been stolen from the PPC some years previously. Unfortunately, instead, the portal sucked Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Draco Malfoy into her universe, transforming them into beautiful women in the process for reasons unknown. The agents, to their dismay (on everyone's part but Laburnum's and Drake's), also found themselves genderbent for the duration of the mission.


In Agent Stormsong's words, Rikai was charged with "being a Mary Sue; with transforming Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and Draco Malfoy into females for no readily apparent reason; with forcibly dressing the aforementioned characters in garb more appropriate for whores; with inflicting the aforementioned characters with ridiculous pseudonyms; with causing the aforementioned Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy to be friends with no explanation; with using poor grammar and monotonous prose; with inconsistent use of language; with misplacing taglines; with performing anatomically impossible actions; with pointless angst; with not being able to correctly recall Harry Potter’s title, namely ‘The Boy Who Lived’; with forcing the aforementioned characters to perform dangerous and ridiculous actions; with setting metal chains on fire; with causing Draco Malfoy and to a lesser extent Harry Potter to use American language; with being anachronistic; with trivialising rape; with impregnating Ronald Weasley; with disregarding the laws of biology and physics for thine own convenience; with causing Draco Malfoy to not know what ‘abortion’ is; with causing Ronald Weasley to forget Hermione Granger; with using Harry Potter characters as mouthpieces for thine own viewpoint rather than as characters in their own right; with misunderstanding the term ‘C-section’; with declaring thyself ‘perfect’; with sexism; with time distortion; with inconsistency; with making multiple malapropisms; with confusing PPC agents; with angering PPC agents; with changing the genders of PPC agents without their permission; with being, er … to give the least obscene of the many descriptions listed here courtesy of my co-workers, ‘an insufferable little snotrag’; with being impossibly strange even by the standards of the Harry Potter following; with theft of PPC equipment; also with depravity, depredation, and general lawlessness."

Character Death[]

Drake was inspired by Makes-Things' reference to the legendary Korean shapeshifting fox, the kumiho, and tore out Rikai's liver. The body was destroyed when the Sue's dimension collapsed, and the liver was presumably later fed to Molly Rath.


The Badfic

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3