"Partially Kissed Hero" is a Harry Potter fanfiction written by Perfect Lionheart (aka Skysaber) between 2008 and 2012. It was left unfinished after reaching an impressive 103 chapters.
It is also an unlabelled Fablehaven and Alice in Wonderland crossover, and briefly pulls in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and a large number of Disney movies and fairy tales for good measure.
The premise, after the prelude of Harry becoming obsessed with learning about (and becoming more like) his "genius" parents, involves Harry being partially kissed by a Dementor in such a way that he ends up absorbing Voldemort's memories and skills without (according to the characters, narration, and author) actually becoming Voldemort 2.0. He then embarks on a quest to save the wizarding world from the completely, thoroughly, extremely Evil Dumbledore (who controls everything), gathering fiancees, properties, extra powers, a fairy body, and enough stuff to fill Hogwarts Castle to overflowing along the way.
And that's just the overview.
Some notable details:
- Over the course of the fic, Harry becomes engaged to Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott, and, incredibly, even more. He also has a dryad army a hundred strong, all of whom are more or less in love with him and behave accordingly.
- The mentioned dryad army begins with one: Sybil Trelawney. Post-rescue from use in Dumbledore's plots, she is transformed via a potion given to Harry, Hermione, and Luna by the Fairy Queen (from Fablehaven) into a dryad. Due to a pair of potions fed to her to get her out without arousing Dumbledore's suspicions, which become permanent with the dryad potion, she is stuck looking like Hermione and believing Harry to be her best friend/love. To their credit, the three didn't know that would happen; given they later add the second potion to the dryad potion for the rest of the army, that credit is...somewhat ephemeral.
- The Dursleys' abuse is worsened, to the point where it comes out that they attempted to murder Harry.
- Luna is Lucius Malfoy's niece, and at one point decides to kill him to remove his money and influence from the side of their enemies. This understandably sends Draco on a revenge plot. After he fails to kill Luna, it...does not go well for him. He remains alive, but is punished in a way resulting in him being called 'Draca' for the rest of the fic (will elaborate once warning banner can be found and added, since spoiler text or white text seems not to be an option).
- Bellatrix Lestrange is convinced to work for Harry, whom she believes to be Voldemort due to a disguise. At one point she is put in charge of the Dursleys.
- Harry and Luna show some small amount of remorse for the murder of Lucius Malfoy and the torture of the Dursleys, but especially in Luna's case, it comes off as too little too late. They explicitly do not regret repeatedly killing and harming Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape, both of whom have multiple Horcruxes and, particularly in Dumbledore's case, elaborate contingency plans in place for activating them.
- Mad-Eye Moody is Dumbledore's henchman, and keeps wild animals in his pockets to fight with. This last is, admittedly, hilarious.
- Voldemort is reduced to an extremely minimal threat, to the point of Dumbledore resurrecting him and then slapping him around.
- Alice, of Alice in Wonderland, is Luna Lovegood's grandmother. She features semi-frequently, particularly in the last chapters. Among other things, she and a Wonderland delegation swamp Buckingham Palace's gardens, and are very disrespectful to both the Queen and the Prime Minister.
- There are multiple time travel plots, the biggest of which involves dryad!Sybil Trelawney going back in time and, eventually, to space. This results in Harry's parents remaining alive, Sirius not going to prison and getting married, Remus getting married (not to Tonks), and a twin being ensured for Dudley via potion to pose unknowingly as Harry before Hogwarts and during the summers with his memories transferred to Harry's mind, so as to keep Dumbledore in the dark. This means that Harry gets to grow up with a big, loving family...and Dudley's twin gets to suffer every bit of abuse that Harry survived before the time travel plot happened. The boy is never named, because, as the fic says, they never bothered to learn his name.
- Sirius is...very OOC. Interestingly so. Prank war during his first ever conversation with his thirteen-year-old godson OOC.
- Dumbledore is convinced by Harry & Co. that he is being targeted by...a Muggle Dark Lord. Not just any Muggle Dark Lord: Colonel Sanders (of the KFC restaurant chain). He and Snape utterly fail to recognize coleslaw. He eventually finds reason to believe, through investigation, that the "Dark Colonel" is allied with such figures as "King Burger" and "Queen Dairy".
- Gilderoy Lockhart's mind is rebuilt with extra loyalty to Harry.
- Sirius goes to France. There is an idea that a number of students will switch to Beauxbatons. Nothing really comes of it, though in theory that could have been slated to happen after chapter 103.
- Godric's Hollow is turned into a community of...well, a personal army of sorts, really, which double as a diversion, as Harry himself does not live there. Everyone living there must be able and willing to fight. Dark Marks are both not allowed and checked for. Fred and George test defenses with pranks. There is...a lot to unpack in the details.
- Many smaller details, such as Hermione "judging calories" as the lead-up to a joke (unrelated to Hermione herself) and Hermione, upon receiving a birthday present from Harry, reflects that it's occasionally apparent that growing up with the Dursleys stunted his social graces...because he just gave her a birthday present of books. She only comes around when it's revealed that these are actually volumes of an incredibly rare encyclopedia brought back into print by Harry. Then she's excited.
- Sexism, racism, and xenophobia all show up as themes and threads, both major and minor, sometimes to be dealt with and sometimes simply woven into the story or plot.
Claimed by Zingenmir. The mission is in the works, and will probably take some time so as to be done well and interestingly.