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Melissa Hurley is an agent in the Department of Floaters. She is written by Oculus.


Melissa is rather short, about 5'4", with shoulder-length, messy black hair, dark blue eyes and brown skin. She is supposed to be American, but speaks with a thick Brummie accent of mysterious origins. Thanks to her backstory and passion for sports, she is rather muscular. Her clothing of choice is lots of denim and/or leather, paired with the t-shirt of the Department of Floaters.

While disguised as a Tolkien elf, Melissa's hair color switches to red for currently unknown reasons.


Melissa is loud, brash, stubborn, sometimes crude, and generally of the "neuralyze/kill/exorcise first, ask questions later" variety. She has a bit of a temper, a fierce sense of justice and a desire to help others above all, and often needs her partner to restrain her from jumping into situations without a thought to safety or backup plans. She is loyal to a fault, and expresses affection in similarly boisterous ways. Despite her bravado, she is easily squicked, and tends to go catatonic or faint at the sight of excessive squick or really bad canon violations, usually at the most inopportune moments. Her particular berserk buttons are violence against women and children, and homophobia (especially the latter, since she's bisexual). She is also a huge nerd, especially towards fantasy (she speaks Sindarin and dreams of one day owning a sword). Her Patronus is an Alaskan Malamute.


Melissa's home continuum is an original story, in which she started out as a Los Angeles-based stripper, having turned to stripping after losing both of her parents in a car accident. A violent incident at her workplace led her first to the police, who refused to help her, and then to a mysterious vigilante organization, whose ranks she eventually joined partly out of gratitude, and partly out of a wish to bring criminals to justice.

Eventually, though, Melissa's author realized that the story was Not Good, and that Melissa was rather Sue-ish, and decided to delete it completely. Melissa escaped deletion by finding out about the PPC from a fandom-savvy friend of hers, and finding the route to Headquarters through one of her home story's numerous plotholes. Having reformed from Suedom, she now spends her days protecting the canons of the Multiverse, collecting nerdy artifacts, and vexing her partner; she also became good friends with Agent Ruxanda after a mission they had tackled together. After recruiting Agent Faelwen Tathariel from a Tolkien badfic, the two met again later on a disastrous Middle-earth mission and started a fast-growing friendship.

Following Ruxanda and Edith Markov's first mission, Melissa helped name the two human teenagers the agents had rescued from the fic, siblings Tuilinn and Tavor; she and May also ended up becoming the godmothers of the two.

The Collection[]

Melissa is an avid collector of artifacts from her favorite continua, sometimes even forgoing buying Bleeproducts to obtain something for her collection instead. Said collection, so far, includes:

  • An Uruk-Hai scimitar from the Lord of the Rings movies
  • A bottle of Romulan ale from Star Trek
  • A miniature of Minas Tirith, gifted by Ruxanda

Mission Reports[]

Partnered with Agent May[]