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The Medical Department is responsible for patching up the residents of HQ when needed—and occasionally healing canon characters on the side. They are aided in their task by the wealth of technology they have at their disposal from advanced continua such as Star Trek, and are "accustomed to treating everything from blaster shots to the Black Breath to the mutagenic effects of tree-of-life."[1]

The Medical Department should not be confused with the Medical Division of the Disturbing Acts of Violence Department, which is much more specialized and fills its ranks with veteran Nurses.


Originally, taking a canon character to the Medical Department was all but unheard of—Doc Fitz was shocked when Jay and Dead brought Legolas there in 2002.[1] It seems to have become somewhat more common since.


Medical is one of the few departments without a Flower Head, being headed instead by Doctor Fitzgerald, who looks remarkably like the Emergency Medical Hologram from Star Trek: Voyager. The department's staff are called nurses—this is a title, not an indication of qualifications, as "doctor" is reserved for the head of department.

Known Nurses[]


Emergency Division[]

This subsection coordinates with the DIA to bring emergency medical care to agents too severely hurt in the field to return to HQ without treatment. Its only known member is Darion Shadowflame, though Timbledim was at least temporarily transferred to the division in 2014.[4] The division is also known as the Black Cross, because of the marking on their armband that distinguishes them from other nurses.[4]

Medical Research Division[]

Main article: Medical Research Division

The MRD is headed by the Echinacea and her deputy, the Self-Heal. It shares its labs with the Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research. Its staff, of which there are about twenty-five, are known as scientists rather than nurses. Mike Rudd is the lab manager.


The Medical Department has an associated pharmacy where agents can pick up prescribed medications.[5] Joe is one known pharmacist.

Veterinary Ward[]

Main article: Veterinary Ward

This tiny subsection of Medical specializes in the treatment of World One animals and anthro beings based on World One animals. Valerie Christaki is the only known member.



  1. 1.0 1.1 "Torment" by Jay and Camilla Sandman, c. 2002
  2. "Grey Area" by Desdendelle and SeaTurtle, September 12, 2015
  3. 3.0 3.1 "Forest of Fear" by Scapegrace, February 3, 2014
  4. 4.0 4.1 "Buds & Sprouts" by Huinesoron
  5. "Tales from Response Center #6.022*10^23 - Part 2" by chem_nerd, Mar 30, 2005