"They Did What with a Baseball Bat?" is a mission into a Harry Potter badfic carried out by Agents Laburnum, Foxglove, and Naomi.
Synopsis[]
Laburnum and Foxglove, upon being assigned to mission a fic without disgusting content, are elated. They are quickly disappointed upon actually observing the fic.
When in-fic, they are joined by Naomi. Together, they observe the fic's Sues, two American Muggle teenagers named Maddie and Terrah, and discover that they are highly unlikable. In addition to being rude and annoying, they are inexplicably immune to magic and successfully fight Lord Voldemort with a baseball bat and an umbrella when he invades their house. When Albus Dumbledore and a handful of other canon characters meet the Sues and invite them to attend Hogwarts for their heroics, they behave in a very hostile and disrespectful manner, especially to Dumbledore. When they are brought to the UK, the agents ambush them, charge them and assassinate them. Their bodies are disposed of in Deathly Hallows-era Knockturn Alley, where the corpses of Muggles will not be noticed.