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MFPC (or "Emm" for short) is a Department of Floaters agent and former author-insert of Pieguy.

Agent Profile[]


MFPC began his author-inserted life as a survivor of the dubious business practices and safety regulations of El Cheapo Airlines in "Mayhem"'s Massive Flaming Plane Crash Thread, which left him and a small group of others stranded on a rather wacky deserted island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. Emm endured evil possessed planes, carnivorous Following Plants, the nearby crash of a massive spaceship, and a long string of horrible, horrible puns before being yanked off the island to aid in the defence of "Mayhem" during the Crossover Wars. With the EGS canon safe, he then settled down to a life of MSTing with his other-roleplay-alternate KF, with whom he has plenty of wonderful comedic tension due to his opinion of her as an uptight killjoy.

The two of them, it must be noted, don't hate each other, per se. Their relationship can best be described as a perpetual state of sibling rivalry — though they get on each other's nerves with minimal effort, when push comes to shove, they'll always come through for one another. Possibly because their mutual dislike is nothing compared to their loathing of badfic.


Emm has no special powers of note, but does possess the knowledge of the secret blend of spices and banned chemicals necessary to create an extremely potent variety of hot sauce capable of burning holes in most substances (note: not to be taken internally or allowed to touch metal). He used to have a formula that merely conferred upon those who dared to try it the temporary ability to breathe fire — whether they wanted to or not — but the current mixture has long passed "edible" and moved squarely into the territory of "unfit for mortal consumption." Unfortunately for Kay, this minor distinction means she is always the first person he pesters to sample every new batch, an offer she always flatly declines.

Mission Reports[]

Home: Pieguy's House of Sporking!

Partnered with KF[]

  • Interlude: "Moving In"
    • Kay and Emm settle in to their new digs. Well, perhaps "settle" isn't the right word.
  • Mission #1: "The Distress of Haruhi Suzumiya" (Haruhi Suzumiya)
    • In their first mission for the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, KF and MFPC enter a Haruhi Suzumiya badfic and have to deal with generic half-naked gunmen, ghostly horses, random elves and The Amazing Wandering Bullet Hole! Will they make it out with their sanity (and their bodies) intact?