The Lichen is a lichen that sounds like John Cleese, which is the source of arguments between Admiral Pansy and itself. It is the Head of the Department of Implausible Crossovers. Prior to 2006, it was a member of the Board of Department Heads, but after the Wisteria was killed, membership was reshuffled. As the DIC's place among the three largest Action departments had been taken by the Department of Floaters, he was replaced by the Floating Hyacinth.
- "Darkness Awakened" (Lord of the Rings x Star Wars), Agents Jay Thorntree and Acacia Byrd (DIC)
- The Reorganisation, Chapters 19 & 20
- "The Dark Side" (World of Warcraft x Fullmetal Alchemist), Agents Eamon Brightbeard and Barid (APD, World of Warcraft Division), with Agents Ilraen and Supernumerary (DIC)
- "Cosmic Love" (Twilight x Harry Potter), Agents Supernumerary and Decima (DBS)
- "Minor Gods"
- Appears semi-canonically in the PPC Computer Game
- "Shenanigans at FicPsych," Agent Sarah Katherine Squall (DIC) and co.