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Agent Kitty Callahan, usually referred to as Kitty (unless one is quite cross with her), is a reformed Mary Sue from Legend of Zelda/Yu-Gi-Oh! continuity. (Don't ask.) She was created by Chatvert.

Agent Profile[]


Kitty looks like your average teenaged human female of indeterminate origin, with slightly tanned skin, brown hair (with two Bangs of Ridiculous Size), green eyes, and a stature of about five foot four. She is, in the manner of Edward Elric, extremely sensitive about her height.

Aside from her PPC uniform, she wears whatever she damn well feels like, and seems to have an inordinate fondness for shiny, dangly things, particularly opals. She has the traits of a Metamorphmagus, which are perhaps a holdover from her Mary Sue days. She usually wears a light tan cat-eared headband, with one gold bell on each ear. The jingling can be seen by some as annoying and by others as a warning siren that she is approaching.

Ever since the demon battle at Valcentica, she has had scars on the inside of her right forearm caused by caustic demon blood.


Normally, Kitty is bubbly and hyperactive, optimistic as anything. Her sense of humor tends towards the dry and sarcastic. She is almost physically unable to hold any sort of grudge. Her explosive enthusiasm can be seen by some as incredibly irritating, but most people who stay around her for long tend to either accept that or ignore it. People who find her irritating usually do not burst her bubble, because it's almost like kicking a small dog. She has a tendency to make friends easily. Kitty also claims to be Australian, and even exhibits an Australian accent, despite being created several universes away from any incarnation of Australia.

She also has a rather dirty sense of humor and a penchant for "yo' mama" jokes.

Agent History[]

Kitty was originally a Mary Sue in a Zelda fanfic that never got published, making her a semi-fic blip. It is unclear exactly how she came to the PPC, but she has completely renounced her former self.

Department of Mary Sues[]

Kitty was placed on probation at the beginning of her career due to questions about her suitability as an agent, since she had been such a patently horrible Mary Sue. In an attempt to prove herself, she proposed Project Phoenix to the Sunflower Official, who agreed to the experiment. After retrieving seven hand-picked characters from across several different fandoms, most of whom bore more than a passing resemblance to Sean Bean, she set about training them in the ways of the agents, in exchange for some training in combat and tradecraft.


In April 2007 HST, she was offered a mission that would require her to go undercover in an extremely uncanonical addendum to the Harry Potter universe called Valcentica, which masqueraded as an RP site and was in reality a pit of Sues. She readily agreed to the mission.

When it was posited by Upstairs that she might need some backup, her partner Alec Trevelyan immediately jumped to the task, filling in the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. After he went, the canon was officially declared off-limits, which didn't stop Agent Rena Chang from sneaking in and joining them, providing some much-needed moral support for Trevelyan. They were later joined by a third agent, An-chi Tsai, an acquaintance of Rena's. In May 2007 HST, Kitty was temporarily killed, and brought back in less time than it takes to order a pizza, though still without her memory.

The main Mary Sue they were after has since reformed and been shaken around so many times that nobody has any idea what's going on. Rena has since gone MIA from this canon—it is assumed that HQ was starting to wonder where exactly she'd gotten off to. Other threats have also appeared, among them a vampire known as Vissiand Morgale, whose rash actions caused a demon horde to descend upon the castle. In the ensuing battle, Trevelyan was struck down. Kitty, in a fit of Absolute Rage, tapped into her blocked-off powers to restart his heart and patch him up roughly before going on a horrendous killing spree. After dragging the half-dead Trevelyan to the healers, she collapsed into a comatose state.

Three days later, (though much longer in HST, due to an interuniversal time-flow expansion), she awoke and almost regained her memories, but consciously or not, they were suppressed. As she recovered from the wounds she sustained during the battle, Trevelyan received word that Valcentica had become so far removed from Harry Potter canon that it was becoming its own canon, and their presence was no longer needed. Trevelyan released the lock on her memories, freeing them and returning Kitty to her old self.


  • September 2002 - Recruited to the PPC in the Department of Mary Sues.
  • January 2003 - Recruited Team Phoenix.
  • April 2007 - Sent undercover on the Valcentica Mission - memories suppressed to prevent violent outbursts.
  • May 2007 - Killed by Selena Tiber, resurrected by Agents Alec Trevelyan and Rena Chang after a DDR battle with Death.
  • March 2008 - Accessed her dormant Mary Sue powers in a fit of Absolute Rage.
  • July 2008 - Awoke in Valcentica's infirmary, nearly regaining her memories.
  • July 2009 - Regained all memories with assistance from Agent Trevelyan and prospective agent Sam Carter (not really the one you're thinking).

Mission Logs[]

Home: Listen: There's a Hell of a Good Universe Next Door; Let's Go

Kitty's mission logs are currently under revision because, in the words of her chronicler Chatvert, they "totally sucked."

On Probation[]

Partnered with Alex Trevelyan[]

  • "The Bourne Believer" (The Bourne Trilogy)
    • Kitty's first mission with Alec. (Re-hosted at LiveJournal as of 4/20/10 - originally posted in 2008 sometime.)
    • Set at the end of The Bourne Identity, Bourne finds a friend in a 12 yr old girl who believes that Bourne isn't at fault for his actions. She is determined to help him and she becomes Bourne's sidekick! Bad summary, better story!
  • "Indiana Jones and the lost Relic" (Indiana Jones)
    • Kitty and Alec take out a ridiculous Sue, and get some new blood for HQ.
    • After last crusade, Indiana embarks on a quest he never imagined could happen...again. The Ark of the Covenant has been stolen. Now it is up to Indiana and a feisty 15 year old girl to get them back!