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Kelvin Talathion is a former minor Stu who was saved from certain death at the hands of the PPC by a timely plothole. When the other end of the plothole dropped him into Headquarters sometime in late December 2008, he joined up with the Department of Mary Sues.

Agent Profile[]


Kelvin, formerly Celebralmir Vinyalasse Talathion, was the younger brother of a Silmarillion-era Sue named Elandra Feanariel. Their people were supposedly peace-loving Elves who had split off from the Noldor and Sindar during the War of the Jewels and made a new kingdom in the south of Beleriand.

Despite this, it was somehow necessary for both Elandra and Celebralmir to become expert warriors. This drew the attention of the PPC, as did their parentage — their mother was of the Sindar and a maid to Melian of Doriath before she left, and their father was a half-Noldo, half-Vanya who grew up in Valinor and was related to the ruling family of the Noldor.

Celebralmir was dumped into a plothole when his writer phrased a sentence awkwardly, and he ended up arriving at the PPC, where he was found by Architeuthis. She had him quickly registered as a new agent and took him to his response centre, number ten. There, he met his new partners, Cassie Young and Nat Freidar, and was immediately sent on a rather unpleasant mission. He was later repartnered with short-tempered, and plain short, Lyra Mackenzie. As of at least September 2012, he is married to Agent Cassie, and they have one child, a daughter named Fiona.

Kelvin's close-up.


He is about 6'4", with long black hair that he usually keeps in a ponytail and grey eyes. His ears, which were left undefined by the fic, automatically reverted to Tolkien's base description of "leaf-shaped." He is, like most Elves, slim.


Kelvin struggled to rid himself completely of the persona written for him — that of a cheerful, rather energetic Elf just coming into adulthood. He is determined to prove himself as an agent. For a long time, however, he was simply very, very nervous around almost everyone, particularly after his first mission and the PPC Christmas party of 2008. e has since become more confident, though still rather quiet. He is an excellent archer and a fair swordsman, thanks to his author. He uses a curved Elven sword, rather than the straight ones his partners seem to prefer, and a longbow. Both are the original weapons written for him by his author. He is rather wary of the various electronics they use, particularly after one exploded during the aforementioned mission.

Mission Reports[]

Home: Response Centre #10

Partnered with Cassie and Nat[]

Other Appearances[]