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Kala Jeng is an agent in the Department of Floaters. She is written by Voyd.

She and her partner/husband have the highest mission count in the Department of Floaters.

Agent Profile[]


From the hips up, Kala resembles a young Romani woman. She has black eyes and her hair is dyed blonde. Below the hips, she's a giant blue-and-black scorpion. Her usual outfit is a red tank top, a skirt draped over her pedipalps, and a skull-buckle belt.


Kala is short-tempered and violent, and often sees insult where none was intended. As a resident of the Monster Musume universe, where humans and nonhumans don't get along perfectly, she detests the idea of a Mary Sue. To her, they're nonhumans that don't have to work for acceptance, which irritates her to no end.

Also stemming from her home continuum is a hatred of racism. Nothing angers her faster than writing someone off as inferior or "bad" simply because of species.

During one of her missions, it's revealed that, like all liminals, she becomes a living sex drive under the light of the full moon. Her attention was focused completely on getting her and Valon out of their clothes ASAP. A blow to the head and some time out of the moonlight calmed her down.

For all her violent tendencies, she truly loves her partner.


Kala is a girtablilu from the Monster Musume universe; she's essentially a scorpion-centaur. She retains the proportional speed, strength and toughness of a normal scorpion, and she possesses a venomous stinger. Being stung isn't immediately fatal, however; she produces paralytic venom that interferes with muscle control. The venom is only lethal if it's applied many times in quick succession. Of course, even without stinging, she's still a seven-foot, four-hundred-pound scorpion.

Very little of this matters when she's disguised, however. She's normally wrapped up in her attempts to puzzle out a body that has eight limbs fewer than she's accustomed to. She seems to have mostly figured it out, though, and she still retains some of her great strength.

Agent History[]

In her home continuum, Kala was a chronic troublemaker who was continually needing new homestays from accidentally injuring her hosts. On her way to meet her fourth host family, she fell through a particularly large plothole and landed in HQ, right on top of Makes-Things. After this unfortunate encounter, she was dragged directed to the Marquis de Sod, and then to Response Center 211.

In August 2015, Kala and Valon got engaged, getting married in December of the same year. They are still married within the next decade.

Mission Reports[]

  • "What's Going On!?"
    • Kala is abruptly introduced to the PPC and her completely out-there partner.

Partnered with Valon Vance[]