James Fairchild is a technician in the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology's Testing and Application Division.
Agent Profile[]
Backstory[]
James Fairchild was originally a human from the Battlefield Earth universe, specifically from the movieverse—part of the human slave labor force being held by the Psychlos underneath the "dome" in Colorado. When the chance came to join up with Johnny Goodboy Tyler's rebellion, he jumped at the chance, despite being rather weak and scrawny as a result of a life of poor nutrition and harsh living conditions.
However, after the rebellion did break out, Fairchild had barely managed to step out of his cage before he was swallowed up by a passing plothole (one of many that litter the Battlefield Earth universe) and deposited without ceremony several dozen feet above Rivendell, in the Lord of the Rings universe. This can be attributed to the serious weakening of canon that has taken place around Rivendell, which is also the reason it didn't take long before an agent pair stumbled across him mid-mission. Their CADs promptly pegged him as seriously out of place, and after a quick assessment of how many bones he'd broken in the fall, Fairchild was rushed back to the PPC's Medical Department for treatment.
Fairchild remained in Medical for nearly two months; the fall had not only broken bones but compounded serious medical issues his life in-universe had caused. Being from the Battlefield Earth universe, however, his uncanny talent for analysis and reasoning soon made him at least partially aware of what he'd stumbled upon, and a week or two after waking up, he explicitly requested not to be sent back home. So, with the PPC always eager for more bodies to fill the ranks, he was promptly sent off to Personnel as soon as Medical released him, and from there found himself in the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology.
Appearance[]
Fairchild is a powerfully built man, albeit a short one, with curly brown hair and brown eyes. He originally arrived at the PPC as a ghost of his current self, as living conditions in his home universe had left him seriously underweight and with badly stunted growth thanks to malnutrition—according to Medical's doctors he would probably have wound up considerably taller were it not for the conditions he grew up in. As it stands, however, his stunted growth has given him a somewhat "scrunched" look that belies a physically powerful frame.
Personality[]
James is not, for the most part, what you'd expect from someone who'd been living in a society on such a primitive level—he is quite literate and erudite, if he feels the need to be. Some traits, however, do remain—he hates waste as a rule, and the thing he hates wasting most is time. By far the thing he dislikes most about his new job is the bureaucracy and procedure, preferring whenever possible to cut lines, dodge paperwork, or schedule appointments as soon as he can to get them out of the way. If he winds up unable to avoid a wait, he has a dozen small hobbies that he uses to pass the time—whittling, reading, Sudoku, whatever will make the wait feel like it's not time lost.
This philosophy carries through to interacting with others—though James has a capable grasp on the English language, he rarely says more than he feels he has to, and prefers to let his actions speak for him. However, he has a nasty tendency to go into long spiels when trying to get a point across to his enemies, and occasionally to get stuck in long chains of inner monologue.
Finally, it is noteworthy that despite having essentially been a caveman for his entire life, James has an amazing ability to comprehend, analyze, and use forms of technology that, honestly, should be so far beyond him as to appear to be magic. The exact reason for this is uncertain, but it impressed Personnel enough to stick him in the DoSAT.
Other[]
Due to his home universe's traumatic history, James' favorite universes are those where humanity ends up the winner (which is, thankfully, a large number of them).
James has some survival skills and medical knowledge, which he picked up during his time spent so far in the PPC, but very little affinity with weapons. He's compensated for this in two ways: firstly, by doing his best to stay in a department where he rarely needs weapons skills, and secondly, by choosing a preferred weapon—namely a small sledgehammer—that requires little in the way of finesse.
James has an ingrained fear of the color purple, as well as one of anyone with dreadlocks.
Appearances[]
- "No Apologies Accepted" (One Piece), Agents Fritz Sorgebrunnen and Silas (DF)
- In which time flies, ships shrink, and the story boldly goes nowhere.
- "Gingersnaps"
- In which Christmas is ruined for pretty much everyone, in pretty much the most thorough way.
- "Snapback" (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic), Agents Fritz and Silas (DF)
- In which canons are tortured, the agents are tortured to watch the torture, and the tortuous torture shows just what a fresh Word-World does when you push it.
- File: "Camera Obsuera," with Narcolepsy (DoSAT)
- File: "Combined Content Analysis Device," with Narcolepsy and Zerenze (DoSAT)