- He's defiling the character of the Dursleys! And using uncanonical child abuse as a cheap excuse for drama and speshulness! He goes too far!
- —Ilraen, "Ring Child"
Agent Profile Edit
As an Andalite, Ilraen looks like a blue-and-tan centaur with a deer's lower body and a long, sinuous tail with a scythe-like blade at the end. He has four eyes: two main eyes in the usual humanoid place, which are bright green, and two stalk eyes at the top of his head. His nose is three vertical slits in the middle of his face. He has no mouth, but speaks in thought-speech, represented by triangular brackets. He eats by absorbing nutrients, preferably from grass, through his hooves. Not counting the stalk eyes, he stands at six foot one.
For pictures, see Neshomeh's PPC folder at deviantART.
Ilraen was in possession of an Escafil device at the time of his recruitment (and got it back from DoSAT in November 2017), so he has the ability to take the shape of anything he can touch long enough to absorb a sample of its DNA. These are the ones he's picked up so far.
- Human: 5'8", willowy, somewhat androgynous young man with bright ginger hair and green eyes.
- Gold dragon (Pern): large, though more long than tall; of a rich medium-gold hue.
- Red-orange dragonhawk (WoW): a creature resembling a sea dragon with wings, about four feet long from beak to tail, with bright, translucent feathers on its wings.
- Meara (Middle-earth): color unknown. Picked up from Alice and Delroch in the Courtyard.
As Ilraen's mental age has caught up with his physical age, his personality has come a long way from the tabula rasa he started out with. He remains curious, eager to please, and polite by default, but he has gained has a wry, subtle sense of humor that often plays on others' expectations that, because he's an Andalite (or even because he's himself), he won't understand something he actually does. He devours books, possess keen observational faculties, and learns very quickly.
Raw data isn't everything, though, and can't make up for the fact that he never had anything resembling a normal life before the PPC and hasn't existed that long, chronologically. Subtext and idiom still elude him more often than not, leaving him in his trademark state of blinking befuddlement, and he remains innocent of the particulars of romantic relations. He has a passive awareness of the Mechanics, but it's a grade-school understanding at best. This is thanks in no small part to his partner's squeamishness about anything more personal than a handshake, and it doesn't help that other people who know how innocent he is tend to want to keep him that way for his own protection.
If there's one thing he knows, though, it is the meaning of friendship. A kind word makes you a friend in his book, and with that come unflinching trust and loyalty. A far cry from typical Andalite aloofness, Ilraen has a compassionate streak a mile wide and will always stop to help his fellows if he can. Over the years, he has adapted well to his partner's tough love, if it can be called that, and in fact is developing some insight into Nume's various idiosyncrasies. Ilraen considers it part of his duty to keep an eye on him and safeguard his well-being, even if all the thanks he'll ever get for it is occasionally being reminded not to die.
The breakup of any canon relationship in badfic is likely to bring out his homicidal side faster than any amount of bad punctuation and spelling. Additionally, his friendship with Jenni Robinson's young son, Henry, has made him sensitive to the treatment of children. Though he never had an actual childhood himself, his early mental condition was similar enough that he empathizes with them and does not approve of anyone underestimating or taking advantage of them.
His hobbies include journaling, running with Alice and the other rescued horses in the HQ Courtyard, and an ongoing project to construct a working CAD from extra pieces donated by DoSAT, which drives Nume up the wall. Ilraen would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy that effect just a little bit. He also joined Team Nevermind in the All-HQ Australian Indoor-Rules Quiddich League for its second season as a way to meet people and hone his combat reflexes.
Agent History Edit
Ilraen was brought to the PPC in 2006 HST by Agents Twiggy and Brittany of the Department of Cool and Unusual Punishment after they rescued him from a badfic in which his only role was to use the Escafil device on a Mary Sue. He had no name, no personality, and no description. The first was given to him by Agent Twiggy. The rest came, in time, with intensive therapy in the Department of Fictional Psychology. There, he received a culture implant which included Andalite society, the Animorphs canon, and certain knowledge of his potential.
In theory, this means that he knows how to morph and to use his tail-blade to best advantage. Thusfar, he can hit his intended target and avoid collateral damage with his tail, but he lacks the precision of a trained warrior. As for morphing ability, he acquired a Frolis Maneuver human morph from donors in the Lounge (Nurse Robinson, Agents Supernumerary and Ginger, and Agent Rumor's younger siblings), but hasn't quite got it worked out. The process tends to be on the messy side and he can't morph clothing to save his life or his partner's sanity. He hasn't had much better luck with the other two he's tried, either.
PPC Career Edit
Since his official inception in late 2006, Ilraen has been on seven recorded missions with Agent Supernumerary in Implausible Crossovers and an eighth as a crossover consultant with Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall. In his own words, he has read "several books of canon" and is "eager to learn." In the third mission, he learned an important lesson about the effects of badfic on the characters therein, and in the fourth he learned how things can go horribly wrong when an agent lets it get to him. The fifth marked his first official psychotic break, triggered by relentless time distortions throughout and finally the gross misrepresentation of Harry Potter's treatment by the Dursleys. He recovered and is determined to prevent it from happening again by means of increased personal discipline, including the observation of certain Andalite rituals that he had thusfar neglected. The Ironic Overpower, however, is proving an obstacle.
Outside from missions, Ilraen has been involved in several landmark events in and around HQ. He is a veteran of the Assimilation Crisis, where he helped neuralyze a Borg cube; the 2008 Macrovirus Epidemic and Mary Sue Invasion, where he fought in the battle of the cafeteria; the mass exorcism of Robecca from the land of Narnia; and the Sue invasion of the International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction, where he and the other defenders earned the title of Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Mochi for their efforts. His full title is now Agent Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill, GCMG. (This may or may not also stand for "God Calls Me God.")
All years are given in HQ Standard Time.
- Brought to HQ by Agents Twiggy and Brittany. Stays in FicPsych to stabilize his morphic field and receive a culture implant.
- Spends some time in the Lounge to help him get used to HQ. Acquires a human morph from helpful people there.
- Officially partnered with Agent Supernumerary and assigned to Implausible Crossovers.
- First recorded mission with Nume.
- Helps in Operation: Neuralyze!
- March 11
- Third recorded mission with Nume. Acquires gold dragon morph and deeper sense of purpose.
- March 12–April 17
- Stuck in RC for the duration of the Macrovirus Epidemic; fights in the Sue Invasion. Recorded in "Ilraen's Journal" and "The Battle of the Cafeteria." (The former supersedes the latter where they conflict.)
- Helps Agents Lunac and Liadan exorcise Robecca from the land of Narnia in "The Youngest Goddess and a PPC Emergency," Part One, Part Two.
- January 31–February 1
- Involved in the gender-bender incident.
- Late Summer
- Fourth recorded mission with Nume. Mistakes are made; shenanigans involving time travel result. Acquires dragonhawk morph.
- Encounters Orken 7861 while doing Nume's laundry as a penance for his mistakes in the last mission.
- February 5
- Aids in the defense of the International Academy of Hetalia Fanfiction, becoming a Knight Grand Cross of the Order of the Mochi.
- Early Summer
- Fifth recorded mission with Nume.
- Sixth recorded mission, this time temporarily assigned with Orken and Thomas. Rescues three-year-old Ian Thomas Horowitz.
- July 24–31
- Stuck in his human form during the Poison Joke Incident.
- February 29
- Makes his first entry in a public journal.
- Joins Team Nevermind in the All-HQ Australian Indoor-Rules Quiddich League. He is one of the few people who actually realize what game they're signing up for.
- Helps Nume celebrate his tenth anniversary as an agent. Whether he likes it or not.
- October (probably)
- Seventh recorded mission with Nume. Also along for the ride is Jennifer Robinson. (Note on the timeline: the boys appear to have experienced some condensed time between missions 6 and 7, since this takes place both "shortly after" and a little over two years since M6.)
- Bumps into Cindy again in line at the Canon Library, returning a book she's looking for. Coincidence, or fate?
- February 27
- Receives a visit from Farilan-Haothil-Esthine shortly after her arrival in Headquarters.
- Takes part in the Second and Third PPC HQ Hunger Games and is blown up on the first day in both, placing 24th out of 24 in the former and 47th out of 48 in the latter.
- Helps to exorcise the Everfree Forest, in zebra form. (This event may have happened out of sequence for Nume and Ilraen.)
- February (probably)
- Gets a hoof in the door when Farilan comes back after experiencing a human disguise for the first time.
- Ninth recorded mission with Nume.
- Takes Farilan out to New Caledonia for a field study of humans. And nothing else.
- Finally finishes his CAD project. Well, almost. At least it doesn't explode.
- Nume is tapped for "Agony in Pink" by Agent July Flame.
- Follows Nume into "Subjugation" ten years after the failure of the original attempt.
- Passes the ability to morph to Charlotte Webb and Farilan, and gets to keep his Escafil device afterward.
In the futureAs of this year, Ilraen appears to be an agent trainer, Henry Robinson is ten, and life in HQ is complicated.
- In an alternative future, Ilraen is known as "the Warhorse." How could this be? Find out in "Catastrophe Theory: The End Is Nigh!"
Mission Logs Edit
Home: Response Center 999
Partnered with Nume Edit
- Prelude: "Introducing Ilraen" (FicPsych)
- In which an Andalite recruit gets a culture implant.
- Mission 1: "Family Ties" (Harry Potter)
- In which the agents have an unexpected first mission.
- Mission 2: "What Friends Will Do" (Young Wizards)
- In which the agents confront bad science and loud noises.
- Mission 3: "Harry Potter and the Dragonriders of Pern" (Harry Potter x Dragonriders of Pern), with Nurse Jenni (FicPsych) and Agents Sedri (DMS), Maria Falcone (DMS), Lunac (DMS), and Circe (DF)
- In which the agents finally get a crossover and nothing goes as planned.
- Interlude 1: "Ilraen's Journal"
- In which the importance of Bleepka is made clear.
- Oh, and there was an invasion or something, too.
- Mission 4: "The Dark Side" (World of Warcraft x Fullmetal Alchemist), with Agents Eamon Brightbeard and Barid (APD - WoW)
- In which RC 999 meets RC 1986 for a combined mission. With surprise guest appearances!
- Interlude 2: "Dirty Laundry"
- In which Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill meets Orken 7861. (Nume does not appear in this interlude.)
- Mission 5: "Ring Child" (NSFB) (Lord of the Rings x Harry Potter), with Agents Suicide and Diocletian (DMS)
- In which Suicide and Diocletian come along for "evaluation" and Nume says the F-word a lot.
- Stu: Archir the Emerald
- Mission 6: Diptych: "Secret Agents" and "Cosmic Love"
- 6.1: "Secret Agents" (Alex Rider x Harry Potter), Ilraen with Agents Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall (DMS)
- In which Ilraen teams up with Agents Orken and Thomas to keep a Sue from marrying Alex Rider and infiltrating Hogwarts.
- 6.2: "Cosmic Love" (Twilight x Harry Potter), Nume with Agent Decima (DBS)
- In which love is found in all the wrong places.
- 6.1: "Secret Agents" (Alex Rider x Harry Potter), Ilraen with Agents Orken 7861 and Thomas Greenwall (DMS)
- Mission 7: "Blood Raining Night" (NSFW/NSFB) (Hetalia x Inuyasha x The Legend of Korra x Hellsing x Princess Mononoke x Elfen Lied), with Nurse Jennifer Robinson (FicPsych)
- In which cleanliness is next to godliness.
- Sue: Reicheru Ketsuekineko-oni
- Interlude 3: "Nume: Ten Years Thence"
- In which Area 51 is real. (This takes place before "Blood Raining Night," but I think it reads better in this order.)
- Mission 8: "What's Latin for 'You Suck'?" (Ranger's Apprentice x The Lord of the Rings), with Agents Rina Dives and Zeb (DMS)
- In which Nume crushes Rina's dreams and their partners try to make it better.
- Interlude 4: "First Sight"
- In which Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill meets Farilan-Haothil-Esthine.
- Interlude 5: "Second Glance"
- In which Ilraen gets a hoof in the door.
- Mission 9: "Full Metal and the Hogwarts Mishap" (Harry Potter x Fullmetal Alchemist)
- In which mangled canon characters are not necessarily an agent's biggest problem.
- Interlude 6: "Third Kind"
- In which there are close alien encounters.