"I will ensure that you and your girlfriend remain together, permanently. After all… it's what we both want, isn't it?"
Falchion is an agent in the Department of Floaters. He is written by SkarmorySilver.
Agent Profile[]
Appearance[]
Falchion, like most Skarmory, is a silver-gray, metallic, predatory bird, most closely resembling an Andean condor crossed with a stork or crane. He has a long neck with metallic blue plating, long legs with blue three-toed feet, and a triangular crest on his head like a cassowary or perhaps a Pteranodon. The razor-sharp, hollow feathers on his wings have scarlet undersides, and his eyes are yellow with blue irises. One distinct feature, and one which he is very proud of, is that Falchion's armor is far more lustrous than most Skarmory, bearing greater similarity to polished silver than iron or steel.
As Skarmory in general are the kind of species who'd gladly scoff at such meager defenses as scales, plate armor, ballistic vests, powered exoskeletons, Unovan M1 Abrams battle tanks, and the Great Wall of China, Falchion doesn't need a full-body uniform, but being an agent requires an insignia nonetheless, so he wears an elastic black collar around the base of his neck instead. His Universal Translator is mounted on the front, with the flash patch of his department just to the right of it, and a Bag-of-Holding pocket on the left (which he accesses by simply bending his head down and reaching in with his beak).
Falchion's disguises vary according to the world he is visiting, but when disguised as a human, his hair will frequently be dark-colored, often bluish black. His most common disguise is as an Asian young man with wild black hair and brown eyes, often dressing in gray and black with some red accents. He also wears glasses whenever applicable, as he is used to avian vision and almost always ends up nearsighted as a result. Without bladed wings or a sharp beak, he has to resort to a switchblade which he got on his first mission as his signature weapon.
Powers[]
Falchion's ability is Sturdy, and his known moves are Spikes (he wasn't bred with Stealth Rock, alas), Whirlwind, Roost, and Brave Bird (which he WAS bred with).
Like other Skarmory, Falchion is covered in hard, metallic armor, allowing him to take a lot of damage in close combat. It's really hard to take him down when he steps forward or swoops in to defend an ally. His ability makes it impossible to take him out in a single blow, no matter how strong, though a powerful-enough first strike can weaken him to the point that he can still be two-hit-KO'd. Thankfully, his Roost move allows him to recover damage by regenerating his armor, though he has to land to draw the required metal ions from the soil through the undersides of his taloned feet. He is also vulnerable to energy-based attacks and is especially afraid of extreme heat, since metal armor, being more thermally conductive than skin, will not only melt in the presence of fire, but also trap and cook his insides in the process.
The bird can also heal through eating, which is a standard power for most video-game characters, and is as omnivorous as any human and most types of Pokémon with a tremendous appetite. His held item is Leftovers, which manifests as the fact that whenever he feels hungry or needs to heal, he ALWAYS manages to pull snacks out of his mission kit. Don't ask how he does it. Even Falchion himself doesn't know the answer.
Offensively, his razor-sharp feathers, beak, and claws can slice through all but the toughest hide. He also hides sharp feathers beneath his wing sheathes (corresponding to the secondary feathers on a realistic bird wing), which he can fling like darts at opponents – per the Inverse Law of Sharpness and Accuracy, he almost always misses his target, but getting them to step on the Spikes scattered about is a whole different story.
Falchion is also an excellent flyer, and can reach speeds of up to 180 mph outside of battle (though he has to fly a lot more slowly in a combat situation, since high-speed flight impairs his coordination). His agility in the air allows him to avoid most scene hazards, bypass ground-based obstacles, and dodge enemy fire, as well as attack opponents from above. Falchion can also use his powerful wings to whip up Whirlwinds that can blow away all but the heaviest enemies, useful for crowd control especially if paired with Spikes. His strongest move, Brave Bird, causes his armor to glow blue with stored energy as he dives from the heavens like a bird of prey and slams into the opponent like a guided missile, slicing up foes with every sharp edge on his body.
Unofficial moves that Falchion uses in combat (i.e. outside of his official moveset) include, and are not limited to: Steel Wing (flies past his opponents with wings outstretched, slashing at them with his wing edges); Sky Drop (carries opponents into the sky with his talons and drops them from a height); Slash (slashes at opponents with his talons); Fly (self-explanatory); and Peck and Fury Attack (rapidly pecks at opponents with his sharp beak).
Personality[]
The first thing one needs to know about Falchion is that his nature is Impish. This armored bird is enthusiastic and fun-loving, but is noted for his lack of initiative and penchant for mischief, since he has always lived alone and has never really learned responsibility for others. Most of the time during missions, he opts to hang back and make comments he thinks are witty, funny, or otherwise light-hearted, and being solitary in nature he also has a hard time keeping focus since he tends to lapse into his own thoughts on various tangential topics. He also gets bored easily and in the event of long stretches of inactivity, he may resort to trying to initiate conversations with others or even himself. All of this often earns him the ire of his partner, who tends to regard him as a rare annoyance and she would probably be all too happy to beat him senseless if he weren't protected by razor-edged metal armor. However, he still considers her a friend and a mentor to some extent, and he has been known to prove himself should the need arise.
Two things Falchion has going for him are his talent for observation (his species can have the Keen Eye ability, after all) and his determination to see a job done. Even on occasions where he has literally Pignite-backed upon his partner the whole time, he can be counted upon to know what to do at a critical moment. Displaying above-average intelligence for an armored bird, Falchion has learned not only to read but to anticipate certain details becoming important, as well as the obvious aptitude for picking out inconsistencies compared to canon. Additionally, if he feels that a matter has touched him personally – if his partner is threatened/hurt, or if his or someone else's behavior has led to misfortune for either partner – he will go out of his way to do the right thing, be it backpedal after a poor decision or take responsibility should his partner give up hope. While reluctant to pull his own weight or look out for others, his boundless optimism and ability to shake off angst more easily than most can be valuable traits to have in the right situation, as can his ability to take note of things that other agents may fail to notice before it's too late.
Agent History[]
Pre-PPC History[]
Falchion first appeared in the Pokémon universe in the late 2000s, being hatched as a Skarmy (a fan-created pre-evolved form for Skarmory itself, pictured) from the union of a female Skarmory and a Braviary. He doesn't remember anything truly extraordinary about his past in his home continuum, apart from spending his time learning to fly and battle like other members of his kind usually do. As a bit character, he was never involved in any major events, undertakings, or epic storylines, though he did encounter and battle a number of trainers during his time without being captured. He arrived in the PPC in mid-2014, when a retrospective review of his life led him to realize that Skarmory doesn't actually evolve to or from any other Pokémon as of yet in the official canon. The resultant "puff of logic" led to the creation of a plothole right in his flight path. The bird flew straight into it, ended up in the HQ, and after a fierce battle with a fellow agent, was recruited to the PPC (i.e. given to his current author by Seyechelles, as confirmed in this post).
Current PPC Career[]
Falchion's current RC is #227, where he is partnered with Rashida, the agent who defeated him in battle.
One of the stranger conundrums Falchion revealed after moving into his RC is that he has several memories which he is not familiar with, including some outside of the Pokémon continuum. Most of these memories involve interacting with Pokémon species that do not exist in canon, as well as characters from different continua altogether–a romantic relationship with a teenage canon superhero named Violet Parr being one of the most prominent. Falchion suspected that they may come from someone apart from himself, since the memories he can call his own are those of a typical Pokémon. Thankfully, this issue was resolved when he and his partner sporked their first mission, involving a multitude of continua being crossed over for no reason, a rather prehistoric Gary Stu in a modern context (and a previous incarnation of his author, no less), and a pair of utterly vicious character replacements, in October 2014, during which he also adopted a sister, Sarah.
The Skarmory would go on to "enjoy" a relatively prolific career at the PPC, during which he and his partner visited a variety of different continua. His status quo would change again early in 2015, when one of the badfic characters from his first mission assigned himself to the Steel-type's team for training, bearing a serious grudge against him for the events of said mission. Thankfully, due to the timely intervention of a particularly nasty Pokémon badfic along with the assistance of two other agents, Falchion was able to defuse this hostility and, after completing the mission, he welcomed Velociripper into his RC... much to his partner's dismay.
Falchion also participated in the Season 4 PPC Hunger Games. Despite his durability and surprising skill at hunting, he ultimately fell prey to Luxury, and ended up in 15th place.
Timeline[]
All dates are given in HQ Standard Time.
- 2014
- October 11
- Stumbles into HQ. Encounters Rashida and is later assigned to RC 227 as her partner.
- October 14
- First recorded mission. Falls victim to an existential crisis in the wake of a fetish- and gore-infested eleven-continuum pileup. Manages to get assistance from, and later recruit, Sarah Katherine Squall.
- October 25
- Gets dragged into a trollfic by Sarah on his second recorded mission.
- Trades a few tales over dinner with Rayner Blitzkrieg, Rina Dives, and Randa Roan.
- Sent to RC 2319. Encounters (and battles) Chris, and later helps him and Ami Seeker take down a Suvian Legendary.
- November 11
- Fourth recorded mission. Helps recruit Feratu.
- 2015
- January 1
- Takes part in the first annual New Year's Gift Exchange.
- February 11
- Fifth recorded mission. Also along for the ride are Rina, Randa, and a very hungry dinosaur.
- Meets up with Sarah and Rashida along with Brenda and Violet Rose Greenfield. Later bids farewell to Sarah after she quits the DF and transfers to the DIC.
- April 23
- May 9
- Seventh recorded mission. Meets and joins forces with Valon Vance and Kala Jeng.
- May 24
- Eighth recorded mission. Is left dumbfounded when Rashida is hauled off to FicPsych.
- May 28
- Ninth recorded mission (Rewrite pending). Also along for the ride are Za'kiir and Natalie Carlman.
- August 30
- Implied to have been involved in the Body Swap incident.
- November 16
- Pays a visit to Rudi's and makes a new friend.
- December 3
- Flees the scene in a blind panic after spending his tenth recorded mission doped on too much Suebuprofen.
- Tenth recorded mission (in progress), with Valon, Kala, and some random bystander.
- December 10
- Serves as Valon's best man. Er, bird. Whatever.
- Is more than a little surprised to discover that his partner is back in business.
- Mid-December
- 2016
- January 1
- Takes part in the second annual New Year's Gift Exchange.
- May 17
- Participates in an impromptu Karaoke night.
- August 31
- Takes part in the PPC Hunger Games, Season 4.
- 2017
- June 23
- October 25
- 2036
Mission Logs[]
Home: RC 227
Partnered with Rashida[]
- Prologue: "A Wild Skarmory Appeared!"
- In which a former DIA agent transfers to a new department, and becomes a Pokémon. Kind of.
- Mission One: "Connecting the Dots"
- In which Falchion discovers his untold backstory, with disastrous results for everybody.
- Original fanfic: "Rise of the Galeforces" (The Incredibles x Portal x Megamind x Marvel Comics Universe (Earth-616) x Jurassic Park x The Matrix x [sort of] Death Note x Donkey Kong Country x Kim Possible x Ice Age x The Land Before Time; NSFW, trigger warnings for fetishes and gore)
- Mission Two: "Why We Can't Have Nice Things," with trainee Sarah Katherine Squall
- In which a squatter moves into the RC—and accidentally makes a trollfic turn deadly.
- Original fanfic: "Indiana Jones Dot Com" (Indiana Jones; NSFW/NSFB)
- Interlude #1: "Suppertime Stories," featuring Agents Rayner Blitzkrieg, Rina Dives, and Randa Roan (co-write with Iximaz)
- Mission Three: "Pilot," with Agents Chris and Ami Seeker (co-write with eatpraylove)
- Every agent pair's first mission is a learning experience, and Chris and Ami's is no exception. (Falchion shows up to help train the newbies.)
- Original fanfic: "The Day I Became Mew" (Pokémon)
- Mission Five: "Scarlet Disgrace," with trainee Sarah Katherine Squall
- In which vampires suck, canons are maimed, and the agents receive help from an unexpected source.
- Original fanfic: "Scarlet Embrace" (Teen Titans)
- Mission Six: "An Act of Sheer Will," with Agents Velociripper, Rina Dives, and Randa Roan (co-write with Iximaz)
- Interlude Three: "Separate Ways," with Agents Velociripper, Brenda, and Violet Rose Greenfield
- In which one agent is exchanged for another.
Partnered with Rashida and Velociripper[]
- Mission Eight: "Don't Fear the Reaper"
- In which two different derivatives of the same character come face-to-face.
- Original fanfic: "Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami" (Death Note)
- Mission Nine: "Of Monsters and Machines," featuring Agents Valon Vance and Kala Jeng (collab with Voyd)
- In which the agents are invited to a preternatural pizza party.
- Original fanfic: "Five Nights at Freddy's: Monster Island" (Five Nights at Freddy's x Godzilla)
- Mission Ten: "A Bad Taste in the Mouth"
- In which a visit to the Cretaceous period takes a surprising turn.
- Original fanfic: "Forever Delicious" (You Are Umasou)
- Mission Eleven: "Snake Eyes" (rewrite pending, co-write with Silenthunder)
- In which a supernatural school is supposedly subjugated by sapient Suvian serpents.
- Original fanfic: "Harry Potter and the Gift of the Basilisk" (Harry Potter)
- Note: Rashida does not participate in this mission.
- Interlude Four: "Watch Where You're Going!" with Agent Lapis Lazuli
- In which an author's persona meets his embarrassing old OC.
- Mission Thirteen: "Sore of the Explorer"
- In which Falchion hurts himself in his confusion.
- Original fanfic: "A Typical Day for Dora" (Dora the Explorer)
- Mission Fourteen: "The Most Dangerous Game," with Agents Whitney (DMS-VG), Chris, and Violet Rose Greenfield (in-progress, co-write with eatpraylove)
- In which badfic is no place for a Girl on Fire.
- Original fanfic: "hunger games change in the winds" (Monster Hunter x The Hunger Games)
- Mission Fifteen: "Outside In" (in-progress)
- In which Rashida tests a new ability.
- Original fanfic: "Inside out 2 Maelstrom" (Inside Out x Big Hero 6 x Frozen)
- Mission ???: "Memorial Day" (pending)
- In which Falchion is once again haunted by his author's past.
- Original fanfic: Own author's work. (Harry Potter x My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic x Avatar: The Last Airbender)
- Interlude Five: "Family Matters, Family Ties" (pending)
- In which Rashida pays a visit to some old friends.
Partnered with Lilac[]
- Interlude: "Consequences" (pending)
- In which old grudges die hard.
- Mission Twenty-Three: "Tunnel Vision," with Sarah Katherine Squall (DIC)
- In which Lilac is forced to reevaluate her choices in life.
- Original fanfic: "Spies Like Us" (The Incredibles x Team Fortress 2)
- Interlude: "Happy Bird-Day"
- In which Falchion gets a pleasant surprise for once.
Other Appearances[]
- "All My Life" - Serves as Valon's best man. Er, bird. Whatever.
- Cameos at the end of "Sadly Mythtaken."
- "Anthophobia" - Is given some career advice by the Floating Hyacinth.
- "Twenty Years Hence: Adventures in Squid Sitting" - Cameo.
- "Horror Story in Six Words... Okay, Maybe Ten"