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Evie is an agent in the Department of Floaters, Special Operations Division. She is written by Fish Custard and is currently partnered with the Fisherman. She is an anthropomorphic representation of GLaDOS, rescued from a particularly dire Portal fic, and then augmented by DoSAT to remove any dangerous elements. Her name is an acronym for "Encapsulated Virtual Intelligence Entity."

Agent Profile[]

Evie is of average height and build, as is to be expected for an under-described badfic refugee. Her notable external features are her bright white hair and the electronic elements embedded in her boots and gloves. Her entire body is in fact biomechanical, with human biological elements interwoven with advanced artificial intelligence technology. She has a small computer embedded into her arm, which is capable of taking notes and recording audio. Evie has resisted attempts by DoSAT to upgrade it with CAD technology owing to the latter's propensity to fail in exciting and explosive fashion.

Her personality reflects that of her progenitor: she is cuttingly sarcastic, can be highly cynical, and has a largely utilitarian outlook on life. She also has a love of science, particularly experimentation and testing. While not meticulous in devising and planning assassinations, she is often frustrated by her partner's chaotic approach to missions.

Evie's interactions with technology are highly unpredictable. On some occasions machines have allowed her to communicate with them via what could only be described as "computer telepathy," and on others technological items have simply refused to work for her at all. Even when using her "machine-whispering" powers, results are not guaranteed, and on more than one occasion a device has taken a strong disliking to Evie and short-circuited. For this reason she is reluctant to use this ability during missions.

Agent History[]

Evie was rescued from a badfic via the use of a Simulation Generator, and brought to Agent Chase of the Department of Sufficiently Advanced Technology. Chase attempted to simply augment her AI programming to remove the sections less conducive to PPC work, but she managed to lock him out. He then turned to physical modifications, and removed the large array of in-built offensive weapons, including three turret guns, a mobile neurotoxin emitter and something only identified as a "Kinetic Termination Device." The newly christened Evie was taken to one of DoSAT's isolated testing areas for a trial run. It was at this point that the Fisherman's TARDIS crashed into PPC HQ. Upon seeing the Time Lord, Evie's base programming took over, and she promptly shot him with the one turret gun Agent Chase had missed.

Evie was taken for further surgery to remove the gun and augment her personality. A brute-force approach managed to remove a large part of her homicidal imperative, although enough was left to ensure that she would make an efficient assassin. After receiving a download of various choice fandom data, along with PPC operating procedures, she was partnered with another new agent (who the Ironic Overpower determined would be the Fisherman, the man she had shot) and assigned to the Special Operations Division.

Mission Reports[]

Home: Department of Floaters: SOD

Partnered with the Fisherman[]

  • Interlude #0: "Regeneration"
    • The short tale of how a Time Lord and an unstable anthropomorphic computer ended up working together against badfic.
  • Mission #1: "Odd Experiences" (Haruhi Suzumiya)
    • The Fisherman and Evie deal with a particularly depraved Suethor's take on the relationship between Mikuru, Haruhi and Tsuruya.
  • Mission #2: "Twila The Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre" (Twilight)
    • Can Twilight get any worse? Yes. The duo find out just how much worse it can get when they face down a particularly irritating troll.
  • Mission #3: "The Melancholy of Bella Swan" (Twilight x Haruhi Suzumiya)
    • What happens when the logic of a fic is so loose that reality just gives up? Custard, that's what.
  • Interlude #1: "You Have (Not) Arrived"
    • With the TARDIS acting strangely and an urgent summons by the Flowers That Be, can the Fisherman find his way to RC 4444 or will he be left to flit around HQ forever?
  • Mission #4: "The Longing" (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic); mission undertaken by the Fisherman with Agent Sakariel while Evie was indisposed
    • The Fisherman goes on a rescue mission, becomes a pony and encounters a very un-princess-like Celestia.
  • Mission #5: "Hellstorm Evangelion" (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
    • If you thought Evangelion was hard to wrap your head around, you haven't seen anything yet! PPC Special Operations vs Issei Mataloun and a whole load of insanity.
  • Interlude #2: Blackout - GLaDOS vs Ypurs
    • In the aftermath of the 2013 Blackout and the battle with Slorp, the last remaining group of ypurs in HQ has escaped. Unfortunately for the Fisherman and Evie, they've run straight from one madhouse into another...
  • Mission #6: "Frozen to You" (Frozen)
    • It seems that some Suethors just can't let it go, and will warp logic to breaking point in order to live out their Frozen fantasies. Luckily the Fisherman and Evie are around to warp it back.
  • Interlude #3: "Selective Hyperlustin Cascade Disorder"
    • A report written by Alessa Jacobs of the PPC Medical Research Division with special thanks to the Fisherman and Evie.