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"Creeper H is a threat to you and to everyone else. If you try to stop her, none of you will survive. Not even you, Onesie."

- "Little Green Mobs," Act 2

Evangeline von Lilith, a.k.a. "E.V.L.", is an agent in the Department of Mary Sues. She is written by SkarmorySilver.

Agent Profile[]


E.V.L. was originally a demonic ficubus who could take on the form of multiple canonical characters in order to carry out her insidious plans. This was shut down by her being bound by canon, which has resulted in her taking on the form pictured above, albeit with the mandatory bondage. She is very tall, an impressive 6'3", and also lean but still quite muscular, with surprisingly large hands and feet for her size. She is clad in armor plates and scales of red, black, and bluish purple, with horns and leathery wings jutting from her shoulders, a scaly, bladed tail, and crimson claws. Due to a poorly written metaphor, her head is detachable, and wing-like ears allow it to fly independently of her body; her hair is dark blue and smoke-like, constantly billowing behind her, and her eyes are a vivid, almost sickening shade of purple.

Because of her nature, E.V.L. has to be restrained by canon at all times when she isn't in her holding cell. Her arms are tied around her body by the force of canon, which manifests as chains made of soft white light. Likewise, a very large golden book, which contains the entirety of Dante's Divine Comedy, is chained to her left ankle.


Because E.V.L. was originally a powerful and extremely dangerous Sue-wraith, she holds the potential power to upend entire continua at once, and could have done so in various ways. For one thing, she was able to shapeshift into the form of other canons to replace them, make them act completely out of character, and enact her twisted fantasies through them. This ability was removed along with all of her Suvian attributes after her first mission, and thus her abilities are considerably more limited.

E.V.L. is therefore unable to use any of the abilities she used to have, aside from minor ones such as flight, rudimentary shadow manipulation, and vampirism. Her head often floats around and drains prey of glitter and other bodily fluids before flying back to rejoin its owner; her normally dark hair becomes bright red after feeding in this way. In theory, freeing her from bondage will result in a dangerous snapback of magical force that could either kill her instantly or catapult her into a higher plane of existence; the latter option would be especially dangerous because it would likely allow her to utterly dominate even the strongest opposition, canonical or otherwise. Needless to say, nobody wants to find out what will happen if her bonds really are broken.


Being chained up and forced to kill your own kind can do a lot of terrible things to your self-esteem, and that's exactly what's happened to E.V.L. since she was conscripted to the PPC. She's bitter, cruel, jeering, and unsympathetic, and the one reason she can feasibly handle her new career is because she is fully aware that there are others who set even lower bars than her own. Despite her coldness, however, she is also very collected, having accepted that there is no hope of escape for her. It would be difficult for most badfics to faze her, and she usually responds to incorrect details and bad characterization with a comment or two at the expense of the story or the character who has been warped or replaced.

E.V.L. is not terribly fond of hunting Sues, having been one in the past, but she has accepted it as a fact of her new life, preferring to be efficient and methodical in her methods, with minimal suffering provided. While she has the patience, tenacity, and ruthless cunning of a serial killer, she is not openly malevolent, preferring to be left undisturbed. With the right persuasion, she is also not afraid to lend a helping hand, usually to other agents, as long as the collective whole gets the job done in the end.

As revealed in her fourth mission, E.V.L. is terrified of bugs, owing to an... "incident" during a Zelda fic she invaded as a Sue-wraith which she prefers not to discuss. Because of this, she will normally refuse to cooperate with arthropoid or even half-arthropoid agents or personnel... especially if the arthropod bits are based off spiders. She hates those things.

Agent History[]

E.V.L. was first spawned from a series of badfics that involved a demonic entity traveling throughout various continua to wreak havoc. Said entity always possessed a female character, turning her into a psychotic, murderous being of destruction, and granting said character immense power at the cost of their humanity. This resulted in the injury and/or death of numerous canonical characters, forcing the PPC to take action. Agent Rayner, who had been released from Medical after two months of rehab from a previous disaster, was sent in by the Sunflower Official in person to get rid of the renegade Sue-wraith.

Unfortunately, things did not go according to plan. In the heat of the final battle against the Sue, Rayner attempted to banish the immortal horror, but he made two mistakes: first, he consumed bits of her and thus bound her life force to his own, and second, he accidentally dialed the address for the Sunflower's office instead of Dante's Cocytus as he had intended. This resulted in E.V.L. being literally dropped onto the SO's head, and when Rayner returned to HQ, he was faced with one captured Sue-wraith and one extremely angry Flower.

Since E.V.L. was life-bound to Rayner and could not be killed without killing him as well, but releasing her into some other continuum was a bad idea, the only thing the PPC could do was "enslave" her as an agent, with Rayner as her captor and partner. The two of them went on their first mission together the day after her recruitment, during which E.V.L. had a falling out with her partner before trying (and failing) to finish the mission herself. Since this nearly killed her (and her partner by association), the PPC decided to take drastic measures and have her forcibly reformed after that. Needless to say, she's not particularly pleased about her new lot in life.


All dates are given in HQ Standard Time.


Mission Logs[]

Home: RC 133,316,666

Partnered with Rayner[]