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Elms is a nurse in the Department of Fictional Psychology. She is written by Neshomeh, but may be borrowed with permission.

Character Profile[]


Elms is five foot six and lean, but shapely. She has strong arms, all the better with which to carry heavy trays of drinks and toss unruly patrons out into the gutter—not that she has much call to do either anymore, but still.

She has brown eyes and blonde hair with generous curls that bob against her cheeks when she moves abruptly. She has also taken to wearing corrective lenses since joining the PPC. She favors blue frames.

Her mode of dress is a mix between "bar wench" and "pirate." She likes being able to wear trousers instead of skirts, but still prefers corsets to bras.


Elms is a rough-and-tumble, ready-for-anything kind of gal. Shame is an alien concept to her, and she's always ready to have a laugh at anyone's expense, including her own. She enjoys all things associated with the word "bawdy." She learned to fight in the Generic Tavern where she used to work, and she has a knack for wielding blunt, cast-iron cookware offensively. When speaking, it is not uncommon for her to reference gaming terms, such as dump stats, nat-20s, will saves, etc.

Her style of therapy is very much that of the stereotypical bartender: give 'em a drink or two to let them relax and loosen the tongue, let 'em cry on your shoulder if necessary, but keep your distance and don't go poking around personal territory where you're not wanted. Agents who want to unburden themselves in a casual, slightly alcohol-scented atmosphere would do well to visit her.


Elms hails from a generic Dungeons & Dragons–based fantasyverse where she worked as a tavern wench. She is the daughter of a failed adventurer and a spice merchant.

Her mother was Jenneth Lynwood, a mountain ranger with a snow leopard animal companion. Jenneth was an orphan whose life was saved at the age of eight when a female snow leopard found her lost in the snow and showed her the way to the nearest village, where she was taken in by the local ranger. Eight years later, at the age of sixteen, she came across the same snow leopard dead, having just given birth to a cub, which Jenneth rescued and raised with the help of her guardian. After that, she set off to be an adventurer.

Everything went wrong when she met Jim Saffron, a handsome and notoriously womanizing rogue of a spice merchant. Jenneth, being a kind-hearted, credulous sort, failed her Sense Motive check at every turn and wound up pregnant. That ended her adventuring career, and she was forced to hang up her broadsword and attempt to make a living in the unfamiliar lowlands like a normal person.

Enter Elms, whose mother named her Elmira Serena Sylphia Saffron and probably thought it was beautiful and romantic. Once she gained a say in the matter, she abandoned it in favor of a catchy acrostic. Elms had a fair bit of her father in her and quickly grew dissatisfied with the meager living her mother was able to provide as a middling hunter-trapper who would occasionally be taken advantage of by local and passing men, which did at least earn her an extra silver or bit of food here and there. Elms grew up and gained her independence in a hurry. She found work as a server in the local tavern, where she learned to love the customers with their stories and their bawdy antics. She also learned to efficiently beat them back with anything to hand when they got too bawdy.

Exactly how she came to the PPC is unknown, but it's likely that some adventurers did something stupid to screw with the fabric of reality. Perhaps they opened a faulty dimension door in the cellar while trying to remove the ubiquitous rat infestation. This is the kind of shenanigans adventurers get up to.

In any case, Elms stuck around to see what she could make of herself in a new environment. In the process, she befriended the FicPsych staff and, since she had nothing better to do, was shanghaied into helping out. She stayed on when she found herself a niche there, and became a full-time nurse.


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