Agent Eileen is one of the PPC's mad scientists. She has red hair and usually wears a lab coat, and is responsible for the creation of mad-scientist flying kitten Castor, currently "owned" by Miah Arthur. She helped Agent Jake take on the abomination known as "First Encounter," containing the only known instance of Hogwarts/Giant Squid slash. She is written by Bryn.
She is responsible for creating Nigel, a drug that reactivates the dormant digestive system of a Stargate Atlantis Wraith. Kelok depends on this drug to function within HQ, and must see her for regular checkups. She took charge of the colony of anthropomorphic button creatures Kelok and Unger found in a Sherlock Holmes badfic. Later she accepted Arthur, an ex-villain recruited from a Sherlock Holmes badfic, as a field agent for her team.
- "Miah and Cali Versus the Wraith Lover" (Stargate Atlantis), Agents Miah Arthur and Cali Still (DMS)
- "The PPC Presents: A Day Off" (Interlude), Agent Kelok