Department of Intelligence Personnel

This is a comprehensive list of known PPC agents working in the Department of Intelligence.

A note on team colour, cubicle numbers, and ranks: DoI agents are separated into one of six teams upon receiving their commission. They may be placed in Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, Purple, or Orange team and start off with the rank of Spy, 13th Class.

The cubicle number corresponds to the workstation they are assigned to when their team is placed in the Action division. Cubicles may serve up to ten spies, but the agents are rarely all in the cubicle at the same time due to the sheer volume of fanfic that needs investigating. Agents from different teams can share a cubicle.

All spies ranked Class 5 and above are considered senior staff and get first pick on the doughnuts that are delivered to the Hub every day. Theoretically, a higher rank is synonymous with a larger paycheck, but in reality, it’s just a symbol of prestige associated with service length.

Director[]

The Sub Rosa[]

Main article: Sub Rosa

A sapient rose plant that is the head of the Department of Intelligence.

Senior Staff[]

Architeuthis[]

Main article: Architeuthis

Quite possibly Intel’s most famous agent, Architeuthis has worked extensively in the Lord of the Rings canon and is a contemporary of Jay and Acacia. Her never-say-die attitude coupled with her utter dedication to her job has earned her the totally cosmetic rank of Spy, First Class.

Age: 32
Species: Human
Home continuum: World One
Specializes in: LotR
Rank: 1st Class
Team: Red
Cubicle: 1937, Lothlórien Boulevard

Ardin[]

Age: Unknown
Species: Unknown
Home continuum: Unknown
Specializes in: Redwall
Rank: 4th Class
Team: Orange
Cubicle: Unknown

Ardin is the long-suffering agent assigned primarily to scout out Redwall fics. Though Redwall is a relatively quiet continuum, his mind has occasionally come dangerously close to snapping due to the content much of his workload contains, as well as the fact that he was for a long while the only agent working in Mossflower. On one occasion, he came back from a scouting mission gibbering about "the horrible, horrible sparkles" and was out sick for some time, resulting in Agents Laburnum and Foxglove getting accidentally assigned to an unfiltered goodfic.

Bulldog[]

Main article: Bulldog

Another well-known senior agent, Bulldog is most famous for temporarily losing his mind during an Intel run in a particularly horrible Harry Potter fic. He has fully recovered from this, and is currently the senior staff member in charge of welcoming and orienting new spies on the job. Incidentally, he is also a successful athlete, recently winning a gold medal in the men's shot put event in New Caledonia's track-and-field championships.

Age: 39
Species: Human
Home continuum: World One
Specializes in: Harry Potter, LotR
Rank: 2nd Class
Team: Blue
Cubicle: 1998, Hogwarts Highway

Ceepileet[]

Age: Unknown
Species: Talking Mouse
Home continuum: Unknown
Specializes in: Unknown
Rank: 2nd Class
Team: Orange
Cubicle: 7447, Riven Road

Amber Dashel[]

Main article: Amber Dashel

Age: 27
Species: Human
Home continuum: World One
Specializes in: LotR, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Star Wars, Narnia
Rank: 4th Class
Team: Unknown
Cubicle: Unknown

Marianne Delacroix[]

Affectionately known as “Gran” by everyone who knows her (except for her grandson, Gaspard, who goes for the full blown “Madame Delacroix” in an effort to appear more professional), this octogenarian agent still watches over her assigned Word Worlds with diligence. Her old age makes for the perfect disguise: who would guess the sweet little lady sipping her tea at the café across the street is secretly tallying up your offenses against canon? Chilling stuff.

Age: 85
Species: Human
Home continuum: World One
Specializes in: Sherlock Holmes (all renditions), Miss Marple series, Poirot series
Rank: 1st Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 5294, Stupidity Lane

Kyaris[]

Main article: Kyaris

Age: Unknown
Species: Miniature hydra
Home continuum: Unknown
Specializes in: Doctor Who
Rank: 2nd Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: Unknown

Monty[]

Main article: Monty

Monty is a goose. He likes flying, swimming in his pond, and eating little bits of bread that people keep throwing at him. He is also the head of the Covert Surveillance Unit sent to keep tabs on agents operating in World One cities. His team is composed of his three trusty pigeon friends Bob, Deirdre, and Tod.

Age: HONK HONK
Species: HONK
Home continuum: HONKY
Specializes in: HONKA HONKA
Rank: 4th Class
Team: Special unit
Cubicle: The Pond Across the Road, New Caledonia

Gauri Narain[]

Main article: Gauri Narain

Age: 34
Species: Human
Home continuum: Marvel Comics, Earth-616
Specializes in: Various continua
Rank: 1st Class
Team: Unknown
Cubicle: Unknown

Keily Shinra[]

Main article: Keily Shinra

Age: Perpetual youth
Species: Human (ex-Mary Sue)
Home continuum: Final Fantasy VII
Specializes in: Most Final Fantasies, Kingdom Hearts, The Legend of Zelda, Assassin's Creed, various anime
Rank: 2nd Class
Team: Unknown
Cubicle: Unknown

Tourmaline[]

Main article: Tourmaline

Age: Unknown
Species: Unknown
Home continuum: Unknown
Specializes in: LotR
Rank: 5th Class
Team: Purple
Cubicle: 4107, Lothlórien Boulevard

Voltarmi[]

Main article: Voltarmi

Age: Unknown
Species: Bronze Dragon
Home continuum: World of Warcraft
Specializes in: World of Warcraft
Rank: 3rd Class
Team: Unknown
Cubicle: Unknown

Junior Staff[]

Nasir Shafiq Beydoun[]

Nasir is known for his grumpy attitude and his general dissatisfaction about the quality of tea in HQ. He is also the son of Shafiq and Sana Beydoun, the old couple who run Sana’s Café in New Caledonia. Nasir is the proud owner of Juliane, possibly the only Glaceon in Headquarters that understands Arabic. He's also an outstanding gamer and a perennial participant in the yearly All-HQ Major League Gaming Tournament. He secretly harbours a crush on his long-time co-worker Penny Chang.

Age: 28
Species: Human
Home continuum: World One
Specializes in: Pokémon, Half-Life universe, Myst, The Edge Chronicles
Rank: 10th Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 5294, Stupidity Lane

Geoffrey "Jeeves" Carver[]

Formerly known as just "Jeeves", Geoffrey hails from a BBC Sherlock Suefic as a man of many talents (of course he is; poor man was the bodyguard/teacher/guardian/feelings dump for the Sue until his faked death and recruitment by Eledhwen, Christianne, and their intern tag-along). He's in his late thirties, likes wearing ugly argyle sweaters and playing Cluedo, and is often seen with his colleague and fellow Sherlock recruitee Officer Rooney.

Age: 38
Species: Human
Home continuum: BBC Sherlock
Specialises in: BBC Sherlock
Rank: 13th Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 221B Bakery Avenue

Penny Chang[]

Penny is an upbeat, sociable, and slightly nosy person. She has the unnerving ability to pick up and spread amazingly accurate pieces of gossip, to the point where she actually works part-time as an information broker. She has a crush on her long-time co-worker Nasir Beydoun, but despite her normally extroverted personality she cannot bring herself to say it to his face.

Age: 27
Species: Human
Home continuum: Unknown anime continuum
Specializes in: Discworld, Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, One Piece, Shingeki No Kyojin
Rank: 9th Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 5294, Stupidity Lane

Gaspard De Grasse[]

AnimeGaspard — "It's gonna be another long day, isn't it?"

Main article: Gaspard De Grasse

A quiet and dutiful worker, so silent that most people even forget that he's around. Despite his slightly dopey appearance and mannerisms, he's very organized and is quick on the uptake. Rumour has it that he's part of a triple-stacked time loop and is trying to steer the Prime PPC timeline away from a cataclysmic future, but you don't really believe that, do you?

Age: 19
Species: Human
Home continuum: World One
Specializes in: Zelda, StarCraft, Half-Life universe, Metroid, Harry Potter, MLP G4
Rank: 13th Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 5294, Stupidity Lane

Harris Frost[]

AnimeFrost — "Trouble is my middle name! ...my mother chose it for me."

If you took a lemming and a sheep and fused their minds together, you’d get a creature that would have a trillion times more common sense than Agent Frost. He’s got his heart in the right place, but for some reason everything seems to go wrong around him. That doesn't mean he doesn't try his best, though.

Age: 19
Species: ~~Blockhead~~ Human
Home continuum: World One-and-three-quarters
Specializes in: ~~Troublemaking~~ Artemis Fowl, Fire Emblem
Rank: 12th Class
Team: Orange (previously Green)
Cubicle: 1313 Lothlórien Boulevard

Angus MacFarlane[]

If you called him the “jolly big guy” of cubicle 5294, you wouldn’t be far off from the truth (though you would have a potentially explosive argument on whether he is “big” or not). He is a friendly, easygoing guy that loves his root beer. He is a single parent, raising his only daughter Sophie after losing his wife to the Macrovirus Epidemic of 2008.

Age: 32
Species: Human
Home continuum: World One
Specializes in: Discworld, Doctor Who, Torchwood, MLP G4
Rank: 10th Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 5294, Stupidity Lane

Yakov Nicolayevich Minin[]

For a recruit from a Harry Potter fanfic involving dancing house-elves and flying supersonic gastropods, Yakov is a pretty laid-back guy. He is notorious for handing his Action reports exactly five minutes late every day, sleeping through the Mary Sue invasion of 2008, and being the only person in HQ to have tanked three bottles of butterbeer without being sick. Despite being a rather average spellcaster, he makes up for it by being a Seer... or so he claims.

Age: 26
Species: Human (Wizard)
Home continuum: Harry Potter
Specializes in: Harry Potter, Redwall
Rank: 11th Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 5294, Stupidity Lane

Officer Rooney[]

Recruited from a Sherlock Suefic, Rooney is a ex-inspector for the Metropolitan Police. While he is middle-aged, overweight, patronising, and overdue for a desk job, his heart's ultimately in the right place and he will defend to the death those he sees as fighting for "the good guys." His first name is most likely Officer, and he seems to be a regular at Rudi's.

Age: 47
Species: Human
Home continuum: BBC Sherlock
Specialises in: BBC Sherlock, Lord of the Rings
Rank: 13th Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 221B Bakery Avenue

Luisa San Lorenzo[]

Aside from being the meanest chef in the DoI (quite literally: she yelled after Angus for a whole ten minutes after he had filched one of her steaks at the Green team picnic), she knows how to hunt, fish, and forage for food in a forest. If she’s feeling charitable, she might bring some snacks into the cubicle for others to enjoy but on the one condition that Angus and “his great big fat stomach” gets last pick. Naturally, the two don’t get along very well.

Age: 27
Species: Human
Home continuum: World One
Specializes in: LotR, Pirates of the Caribbean
Rank: 9th Class
Team: Green
Cubicle: 5294, Stupidity Lane

Snapshot[]

Main article: Snapshot

Age: 24
Species: Unicorn Pony
Home continuum: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Specializes in: Various continua
Rank: 13th Class
Team: Unknown
Cubicle: Unknown

Tacitus[]

Main article: Tacitus

A shadowy and unsavoury figure, Tacitus is one of Headquarters' few Pokémon agents. During his off time, he works for a woman he calls "Madam" and sells information ranging from current events to secrets to HQ's denizens. He is infamous for his caustic behaviour, profound lack of empathy, and tendency to show up where you least expect him to be. Rumour has it that he wasn't always like this, but that's just run-of-the-mill gossip...

Age: 4
Species: Zorua
Home Continuum: Pokémon (Kalos region)
Specializes in: Pokémon
Rank: 6th Class
Team: Orange
Cubicle: 108 Lothlórien Boulevard