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The Department of Geographical Aberrations, more commonly known as DOGA, is tasked with attending to badfics in which the most significant canon warping takes the form of geographical aberrations – usually invented countries, but also shortened or lengthened canonical distances and other such effects.

The head of department is the Bonsai Mallorn. Due to the fascination of its agents with the use of fire, and the fact that most of them join the department after being too enthusiastic with fire in their previous positions, they are frequently referred to as the Pyros. Consequentially, their flash patch is a stylised flame.


The Bonsai Mallorn's office is located in Room 7200. The door is always visible, although he doesn't always answer it.[1] Most DOGA response centers seem to be in the 7200s, as well.[2] Since HQ is HQ, though, there are plenty of exceptions.


Pyros are technically authorized to execute Sues as soon as a sufficiently large geographical aberration charge, such as creating an uncanonical country, is confirmed.[3] However, since the plausibility of new countries or cities can be debatable, they usually assemble a substantiating charge list anyway.[3]

Special Equipment[]

  • Fire. Lots and lots of fire. And anything that generates it.
  • The DOGA-modified CAD was created by Makes-Things specifically for the department in 2005.[4] It may now be superseded by the C-CAD.
  • DOGA has four Sun Crushers that sci-fi agents use to take out cosmographical aberrations (i.e. Suvian star systems, extra stars in a cluster, etc.).[5]
  • Crystal bombs may theoretically be useful, though their use by DOGA is unconfirmed.


DOGA was set up in January 2004[6] by Agent Dafydd Illian and the Bonsai Mallorn.[7] Dafydd was partnered with Selene Windflower shortly thereafter,[6] and the first DOGA team was formed. In 2005, they were joined by Takua and Jareth, then Narto and Louise, by which point DOGA had grown enough that, according to the Bonsai Mallorn, there were enough recruits in the department that Dafydd leaving would have no major effect.[1]

Also in 2005, Dafydd (and therefore DOGA) spearheaded the mission to "Woodsprite of the North," exorcising Alumia the Woodsprite from the entire planet of Arda, and tackled the infamous "legolas by laura." In May 2006, Dafydd was assigned to "Celebrian." He got himself killed unwisely wielding the Ring of Sairalindë against Celebrian, but Constance Sims was able to get him back from the Halls of the Dead in Valinor. They later got married and retired.

In June 2006, Selene and Narto played parts fighting the Black Cats in the Crashing Down crisis. They weren't terribly successful, but they tried, and survived.

Known Pyros[]

Department Records[]