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Something always goes wrong. Always.
—Agent Dead, "Torment"[1]

The Department of Emergencies is a former Action Department that specialized in extreme situations and aiding other agents with missions gone awry.

Its head was the Firethorn, and its flash patch was a red bell.[2]

It was most likely created by Camilla Sandman, the author of Agent Dead.


The DE was known for taking on special assignments, including dealing with particularly difficult missions,[1] rescuing agents from fic deletions and other crises,[3] and cleaning up severe cross-continuum contamination.[4]

DE agents were given special emergency training, which included a flamethrower drill[1] and possibly first aid, given the stretcher and kit used by Agents Dead and Jay.[3] This training was also available to other agents, at least in Jay's time.

They had their own cantina, the lucky dogs. Even if it did serve dragon meat.[1]


The DE was founded in 1996, when the Department of Internal Security stopped performing rescue missions for agents stuck in missions gone bad in order to focus on internal matters.[2] It lasted until 2004.[4] Due to its small size and roles that overlapped with other departments, it was merged into the fledgling Department of Floaters during the onslaught of badfic resulting from the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings films, combining with the Special Sue Unit to form the Special Operations Division.[2]

Known Agents[]

  • Dead and Heal were the original agents in the Department of Emergencies. They never published their own reports, but Dead appears alongside Jay Thorntree in other agents' reports. The two transferred to the new SOD when the DE merged with the SSU.
  • Ezequiel was active in 2004. He was assigned to help clean up the mess left in the Real World's Times Square when several Golden Sun canon characters were dropped there by a continuum-rupturing Mary Sue.

Department Records[]