Department of Analytical Science

Department of Analytical Science
Yes, there is an ant on this flash patch.
Abbreviation:	DAS
Director:	The Thistle and the Flowering Leek
Flash Patch:	A Watermelon Burdened Ant

The Department of Analytical Science does the mad science the PPC has always wanted and formerly expressed only through the Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research. The department's personnel are called scientists. Its co-directors are the Thistle and the Flowering Leek. Its flash patch is, according to them, a burdened ant, representing hard, methodical work and the importance that even the least result could have to the PPC as a whole. According to everyone else, it's a watermelon.

The department was created by Huinesoron.

Description

Like the Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research before it, the DAS shares its lab space with the Medical Research Division of the Medical Department. The labs are primarily located in a hallway behind the Medical Department. It consists of a main lab with other labs branching out from it. Some of them are soundproof, and all of them are painted a blinding shade of white. The main lab has a cathedral ceiling and many skylights for artificial sunlight to pour through.

Formed from the merger of the DMSE&R and the Division of Applied-and-theoretical Multiversal Physics, the Thistle and Flowering Leek have branched out into more than half a dozen fields, from chemistry and physics to geology and archaeology. With a large and eclectic collection of agents, DAS stands ready to solve all the scientific problems you care to name – or at least to reword them in such complicated language that you don't feel bad about not understanding it.

Because scientific research is worthless unless it is shared, the department also produces a periodical: the Journal of Investigating Veracity by Experimentation, or DAS-JIVE.

Like field agents, scientists are stationed in response centers, but their consoles act as information databases and alarm clocks. The typical scientist wears a spotless white (or at least all-over grey) lab coat with the DAS flash patch or one of its divisions' patches on the left sleeve.

History

The Department of Analytical Sciences was created in 2017 HST when the newly formed Division of Applied-and-theoretical Physics merged with the DMSE&R. The creation and expansion of a new science department, studying theory in addition to practical applications, was finally approved by the Board of Flowers after the Thistle reassured them of their attitude concerning health and safety (i.e. that they "have no intention of repeating the incident with the bees").

The first issue of DAS-JIVE was released on July 10, 2017.

Divisions

The DAS is currently comprised of eight divisions divided into Life Sciences, overseen by the Thistle, and Physical Sciences, overseen by the Leek.

Life Sciences

Alternate and Wrecked Archaeology Younit

• Abbreviated: DAS-AWAY
• Flash Patch: Weaver ant
• Focus: Archaeology

Squishy Experiments and Evidence Division

• Abbreviated: DAS-SQUEE
• Flash Patch: Leafcutter ant
• Focus: Biology

Suvian and Wraith Experiments and Research Division

• Abbreviated: DAS-SWEAR
• Flash Patch: Honeypot ant
• Focus: Suvian and wraith biology

Physical Sciences

Division of Applied-and-theoretical Multiversal Physics

• Abbreviated: DAS-DAMP
• Flash Patch: Ghost ant
• Focus: Physics

Division Entirely Full of Stars(E)

• Abbreviated: DAS-DEFUSE
• Flash Patch: Flying ant
• Focus: Astronomy

Division of Irrational Geology

• Abbreviated: DAS-DIG
• Flash Patch: Desert ant
• Focus: Geology

Materials Assessment Division

• Abbreviated: DAS-MAD
• Flash Patch: Army ant
• Focus: Materials science

Volatile Organics/Inorganics Division

• Abbreviated: DAS-VOID
• Flash Patch: Fire ant
• Focus: Chemistry

Known Scientists

• Aleksei Annikov (DAS-DAMP) - an Ultranaut (mechanically modified human) from Revelation Space. He has repeatedly told the Marquis de Sod and the Flowering Leek that his real interest is sociology, but they refuse to believe him.
• Alembic Deepwarren (DAS-VOID) - a dwarf from Discworld. His long and eventful career as an alchemist in Ankh-Morpork made him a perfect candidate for the newly formed DAS-VOID.
• Atlas (DAS-DIG) - a Quetzalcoatlus northropi from The Land Before Time. In his first encounter with the PPC, agents from the DBS misidentified him as a canon character. Due to his height, he doesn't often visit the rest of HQ.
• Bill Fallis (DAS-SWEAR) - a human from World One. Working on de-Glitterification technology with the MRD.
• Durand (DAS-AWAY) - a human from Drakengard. Before joining the PPC, he made a magical pact with a troll, gaining great strength and endurance, but losing the ability to understand symbols – including writing!
• Dr. Horatio Graves (DAS-DAMP) - a human from World One. One of the first scientists who preferred speculating about Multiverse Theory to experimenting on Mary Sues, Dr. Graves spent several years crammed into a storage closet writing formulas and theories about the nature of the Multiverse until he was finally moved out during the merger with DMSE&R. He is known for scribbling theories onto walls and boxes, and calls his response centre his "office". He has a daughter with ex-Floater Melody Hearth named Autumn.
• Huinesoron (DAS-DIG) - a Noldo from the First Age of Middle-earth. He only works part-time in DAS-DIG, also spending time as an active agent of DOGA and a consultant for SIELU.
• Joan (DAS-AWAY) - a steam locomotive from Thomas the Tank Engine. In her home fic, she lived on a newly-created narrow-gauge railway on the Isle of Sodor. Now, she runs up and down a circular track in the lab.
• Laduquac (DAS-SQUEE) - A drosk from The Dark Side of the Sun. He will eventually mature from a squat, timid male into a large, intimidating female. Being in HQ has increased his chances of surviving that long enormously.
• Lin Wei-ting (DAS-MAD) - a human from World One. A Taiwanese international student at the University of Bath, England, Wei-ting fell through the Avon Rift into HQ along with his fellow student Mandy Singh.
• Lori Starrett (DAS-SWEAR) - a human from World One. Working on de-Glitterification technology with the MRD.
• Mandy Singh (DAS-MAD) - a human from World One. Half-Chinese, with an Indian surname from her stepfather, Mandy has learnt firsthand what it's like not to fit into any of your potential cultures.
• Sister Maria Celeste (DAS-DEFUSE) - a human from the 17th century, details unknown. Abbess of the three nuns of HQ's Convent of San Galileo, she is in fact the daughter of Galileo himself, rescued from a collapsing timeline.
• Ned (DAS-DEFUSE) - a white hole from Young Wizards. His full name, which no-one can remember, is Eratogastindurathureliskatngaedorial'enagouni, and he is normally much larger than he appears in the lab.
• Dr. Niamh Tran (DAS-SWEAR) - a human from World One (as far as we know). Normally a strict, brusque blonde Irish woman, she occasionally turns into a cheerful Vietnamese lady. Thus far, she has refused to offer an explanation for this.
• Norlossë (DAS-DAMP) - an elf from the Book of Lost Tales. She comes from an ancillary canon version of Middle-earth, being a child from the Cottage of Lost Play. Her full name is Norlosillë. She claims to dream up half of her equations, and has worked with Dr. Graves since the earliest days of DAMP.
• Penny Smith (DAS-SQUEE) - a human from World One. One of the PPC's longest-serving scientists, Penny is also a graduate of both the Official Fanfiction University of Discworld, and the Ankh-Morpork Guild of Assassins.
• Sunniva the Minglinger (DAS-VOID) - a human from Uncleftish Beholding. Her world developed a modern civilisation without the Romance languages influencing 'Anglish'. Why she prefers to wear mediæval costume is a mystery.
• Yasmeen Nejem (DAS-SWEAR) - a human from World One. After an accidental encounter with a wizard's Manual, she has been confined to HQ until her status can be sorted out.

Department Records

DAS-JIVE publications, research papers, and other records from this department can be found on the Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Analytical Science.