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A console, glowing.

A console is a PPC agent's workstation, found in almost every response center.

The console is widely known for giving off a loud and shrill BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! whenever a new mission appears on the screen. BEEP!s have been known to be heard well outside of their response centers and to BEEP! in words (usually profane) should they be left unacknowledged long enough (TOS).

According to the Laws of Narrative Comedy, the probability of a console beeping increases in direct proportion to the amount of sleep its agent needs. Consequently, the console is vulnerable to heavy damage by fire, heavy metal objects, fists, or all of the above.


There are many parts to a console, which is described in the following detail by Despatch:


Display screen on which the Words of various stories, and any messages which are relevant to the job, can be displayed.


Series of buttons. Known ones are:

  • Red - Acknowledge job.
  • Blue - Coordination linkups.


Series of flashing lights. Known ones are:

  • Red - Indicates a new mission (possibly restricted to assassination missions only).
  • Green - Crossovers acknowledgment: press the button below the light to get any messages from them.
  • "New message" (color unknown) - indicates that the console has received a message.


Panel for setting disguises. The disguises themselves would probably look a little like "skins" from the Sims.


When receiving messages rather than missions, consoles will [Bing!] or [Bip!] instead of [BEEP!]. When a message is left unacknowledged, there will be a steady [Bip. Bip. Bip.] sound and a flashing "new message" light.

Some consoles have been suspected of developing limited sentience, or at least a strong sense of self-preservation. A console that has a history of having violence inflicted upon it to get it to shut up may respond to vocal commands (i.e. shutting up when told if violence is threatened) or actively modulate its own volume to avoid problems. This may be due to tinkering on DoSAT's part; if it is, though, they're not telling.

Consoles can also be called, and Inter-Console Electronic Post is used for communication purposes, whether between agents, agent to Flower, or between Flowers. They also appear to have at least limited Internet access.

PunchGuardTM is sometimes used by DoSAT in an attempt to prevent damage to consoles, but its effectiveness varies.

TARDIS consoles use the Cloister Bell instead of a beep.