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Chelsea Miller, sometimes known as Fawkes, is an agent in the Department of Mary Sues, His Dark Materials Division. She is also the DCPS caseworker for Meriadoc Brandybuck. She was created by Fawkes, and has been semi-adopted by Huinesoron.

Agent Profile[]


Chelsea is an average Caucasian human female, with shoulder-length brown hair and brown eyes.[1] She tends to wear her uniform neatly, buttoned up to the collar;[1] she may also like wearing blue.[2]


Chelsea sometimes used the nickname 'Fawkes',[3] after the phoenix from Harry Potter, and the fiery name fits her. She is prone to seeing violence as the solution to any and every problem, from the existence of PPC consoles,[4] to the existence of (canon) characters she doesn't like.[5] Fortunately, she possesses enough self-awareness to remove herself from situations where this could be a problem.[5]

Chelsea has adopted two minis: Mary the mini-Balrog, and Fawks the mini-Aragog.[1] She enjoys playing the card-game War, though she always seems to lose.[6] She has at least one custom deck of cards featuring canon characters.[6]

Agent History[]


Chelsea is known to be a graduate of OFUM: she is acutely aware of the problems Middle-earth faces regarding fanfiction,[7] and is able to recite 'Naturally Nine' by heart.[6] She may have attended OFUM in its second year: a student named 'Fawkes' appears in the records of that time, though it is not confirmed that this is Chelsea.[8]

Chelsea joined the PPC in October 2003, with her friend Allie.[4] They appear to have entered HQ by choice, gone directly to the Sunflower Official's office, and been recruited directly into the Department of Mary Sues, His Dark Materials Division; they had never met any Flowers prior to the SO, and were given a 'pamphlet' by him at the same time as they were assigned a response centre.[4]

Chelsea and Allie's RC, #815, was just downstairs from the SO's office (at least at first),[4] and was soon occupied by Chelsea's minis,[1] and by the music of Evanescence, Chelsea's favourite.[4] It quickly became cluttered (which Chelsea maintained was entirely Allie's fault), and the situation was only made worse by the mischievous minis.[9]


In December 2003, the Return of the King movie came out, and the PPC was placed on Yellow Alert.[7] Chelsea and Allie were placed on reserve status for Middle-earth missions,[7] though were not actually sent on one until April 2004.[6] As part of this, in mid-2004 Allie and Chelsea took part in the mass exorcism of Alumia the Woodsprite.[10]

The alert may have prompted another change: Chelsea joined the Department of Character Protective Services as caseworker for Meriadoc Brandybuck.[1] This meant that she had two response centres, one with Allie, and one with Peregrin Took's caseworker Kaitlyn.[11] It was possibly this association with Kaitlyn that led Chelsea to become a priestess of GreyLadyBast.[3] Similarly, in 2005, Chelsea may have applied to the Official Fanfiction University of Discworld alongside Kaitlyn; if so, she never heard back.[12]

In summer 2004, Chelsea may have briefly served as course coordinator for the Official Fanfiction Academy of the Nine Kingdoms; 'Miss Fawkes' appeared as one of two coordinators,[2] though she left within hours of the university opening.[13]

Later Years[]

Nothing much was heard from Chelsea until 2014, when Kaitlyn revealed that she had been sent to FicPsych for unstated reasons,[14] which Kaitlyn acknowledged as being at least partly her fault.[15] One possible explanation for this is the Ironic Overpower: Chelsea's last recorded statement is her considering sending Allie to FicPsych for anger management.[16]

Alternately, there may be a more sinister reason: in 2013, Kaitlyn was finally accepted to OFUDisc — sort of. The OFU brought itself up to date via an eight-year timeslip[17] which left the students fighting off the overwhelming feeling that they were eight years younger than their 2013 ages.[18] Chelsea (as Fawkes) did not appear — but the protagonist of the story was based on her prior application.[19] It is possible that Chelsea, still in HQ, was fighting not only timeslip-induced amnesia, but also the effects of being semi-bilocational: she was in two places at once, or not, depending on how you looked at it. It would be enough to drive anyone to the brink.


Home: "From the Desks of Allie and Chelsea"

Missions with Allie[]



  • 'Fawkes' appears in the second year of OFUM. It is unconfirmed (but likely) that this is pre-Agent Chelsea.
  • Similarly, 'Miss Fawkes' is one of the course coordinators for the Official Fanfiction Academy of the Nine Kingdoms — for the first chapter, or about three hours in story-time. In chapter two, an author's note states that 'the lovely Miss Fawkes has decided to leave us'. If the OFUM Fawkes is accepted as Chelsea, this version probably should be as well.
  • Boarder!Fawkes' application form was the inspiration behind Phoebe, the protagonist of Huinesoron's Official Fanfiction University of Discworld. Had she not been renamed, Chelsea would potentially be an OFUDisc graduate.