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Carmen Cream joined the PPC in early 2006, working in the Department of Implausible Crossovers. She retired in 2009, and has not been heard from since. She is written by Anamia.


Carmen has flaming red hair and wide green eyes. She absolutely refused to wear the uniform, leading to many ugly confrontations with the Marquis de Sod. Somehow, she escaped dire punishment, and stayed in her brightly colored clothing until her retirement. While on missions, she wore a top hat, because it looked cool, a cape, for the same reason, and carried a longbow because she felt tranquilizer guns were boring. She also carried arrows dipped in tranquilizers to subdue unruly canons.


How exactly Carmen came to join the PPC is unknown, as is the identity of her first partner. When she recruited Agent Sarah Vym, she is known to have been working alone. She and Sarah worked together for about two years before Carmen retired from the PPC, possibly due to an informal agreement with the Marquis with whom she frequently clashed on things other than her wardrobe, and has not been seen since. Indeed, she expressly gave instructions that she not be found.


Carmen is cheerful, irreverent, and appears completely unaware that rules are not simply meant for other people. Her skills with a neuralyzer and ability to cope with any kind of squick thrown her way allowed her to keep her job, though how she managed to avoid dire punishment is unknown. Her language, surprisingly, is relatively clean, though she does tend to use strange expressions unknown to anyone else. (As an example, a favorite of hers is, "Oh, for the love of tea and crumpets!") She reads voraciously, and her last known favorite band was Muse, though it changes so frequently that it is extremely unlikely that she still worships them. She reacts well to slash, though that was not really part of her job, and this helped her get along well with Sarah.


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None of Carmen and Sarah's missions have been released as of yet. Whether this is because they have been lost or because of temporal distortions is as yet unknown.