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in: Department of Mary Sues, PPC Agents

Cali Still

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The Don of Daylight, whose secret identity is Cali Still, is an assassin in the Department of Mary Sues, Freelance Division, because that is where his partner Miah Arthur was assigned when he arrived.

Origin[]

Cali is a superhero wannabe from the Mystery Men movieverse. He fell through a plothole one day, right outside Miah Arthur's RC. After a rather bumpy first meeting, Miah admitted the inevitable: that Cali was intended to be her new partner.

Appearance[]

He is about 5'6" with a slender build. His super suit consisted of light body armor that he painted green, green fingerless gloves, green-rimmed mirror sunglasses, boots, a tac vest, a green t-shirt, combat boots, and baggy bluejeans. Since he was recruited as a PPC agent, he wears a modified version of this as his uniform. He has kept the green body armor, shin guards, and green-rimmed sunglasses, but everything else is now black. The green paint is wearing off the armor, and he has decided that he does not need to repaint it. It is now more black than green. He has bright blue hair that is so messy that it seems to have a life of its own. He never takes off his sunglasses (his eyes are too sensitive to stand normal lighting unprotected). He even sleeps in them, so no one, except Cadmar, knows for sure what color his eyes are.

Personality and History[]

When Cali first arrived in the PPC Miah shot him with a tranquilizer dart and dragged him around the halls of HQ trying to get rid of him, before he became her problem. According to Dr. Freedenberg in FicPsych (one of the places Miah tried to get rid of him), Cali had a marginal but formed personality. He was young, a bit naïve, hyperactive, and sarcastic. He was somewhat lacking in both his coordination and his connection with reality. He liked to strike dramatic poses and say things like "I'll save you!" He was a bit of a neat freak, and spent a lot of time cleaning. He had an amazing knack for organizing just about any mess, even one of Miah's making. He loved small animals and they seem to love him back. He did not have much knowledge about the PPC or any particular canon, so at first he followed Miah's lead in the field.

His personality has really blossomed since he joined the PPC, and he has even opened up a bit about his backstory. He has developed canon knowledge in several areas, but especially in Sanctuary. He still cleans, but it doesn't have the tinge of desperation that it once did. His confidence has grown drastically since he has been in the PPC. He is able to actually admit he has thoughts and feelings now, and not just hide behind the poses and super-smiles. He is still easily embarrassed, blushes a lot, and stammers when flustered.

He has developed better coordination and strength now that he is older, and is a competent, stable agent—unless exposed to Nikola Tesla, especially once Tesla is back in-character at the end of a mission.

His superpowers are the ability to see in the dark and to see EM fields. When he first arrived he had a tazer whip, but it soon disappeared—possibly into Miah's collection of unusual weapons. It might have been a defense mechanism on her part as he did not have much skill it. He now carries a pistol as his primary weapon.

Most others in the PPC, including his partner Miah, believed that he had no actual powers, and was simply suffering from a moderate delusion until he finally had a few opportunities to demonstrate them. Such as being able to navigate in Maria, Mark, and Cadmar's dark RC, holding his own in a fight against a canon character by knocking out the lights, and knowing when Tesla from the Sanctuary canon is using his EM powers.

Dating Agent Cadmar[]

Cali developed a crush for Agent Cadmar after the training mission, Miah and Cali went on with him. It was a purely one-sided crush until Cali's teenage angst on the subject was interfering with his work. He decided to let it go, but the same day ran into the newly genderbent Cadmar, and ended up taking her to his RC as she was too drunk to tell him where her RC was. At some point Miah pinned Cali down and forced him to tell her what was wrong with him. He confessed, and later apologized to Cadmar

Cadmar expressed a possible mutual interest, and they began awkwardly dating. They are still working out the issues caused by the genderbending and whether it is going to be permanent or not. They have decided that Cadmar is still The Guy in the relationship (It is possible he has read way too many yaoi mangas, but Cadmar doesn't let him get too far with the seme/uke kind of thinking when applied to their relationship.)

They also realized that dating based solely on a crush wasn't a basis for a very solid relationship, so they made a plan to hang out and actually seriously talk more to really get to know each other.

Partner and Other Creatures Living in the Lair[]

  • Agent Miah Arthur is Cali's partner in the PPC. She is hopelessly messy. She is also short-tempered and violent. She has been around the PPC for longer than Cali (though not as long as she likes to make it seem), and has a much better-developed knowledge of the continua they are sent into, as her former job was Internet avatar. She is a decent cook, and maintains a full, if small, kitchen in the RC. Cali finds that real, cooked meals go a long way toward making up for Miah's less charming qualities.
  • Castor: a small, fluffy, gray cat with wings and opposable thumbs. He is a creation of Agent Eileen's, and therefore has a tendency toward mad science when he is bored. Agent Eileen gave Castor to Miah and Cali after the unfortunate incident of the litter of kittens working together to spike the Flowers' plant food with Bleepsinthe. So far, the idea of keeping Castor out of trouble has not worked too well. Miah and Cali think they may have been able to make peace with DoSAT now, but they are still being ultra-careful with the technology.
  • Magee: a mini-LEO who speaks with an Irish accent, sings off-color drinking songs, uses rude words, and collaborates with Castor to manipulate technology. He prefers his bacon cooked.
  • Abbey: a mini-LEO who speaks with a Redwall woodlander accent, has a serious sweet tooth, likes Magee, cannot tolerate caffeine as well as her original, and also collaborates with Castor on the manipulation of technology.
  • Dinozo: a mini-LEO of Dinozzo. The frat boy tendencies of the canon character were amped up to be the only characterization of Dinozzo in the fic that created Dinozo. Unfortunately, Dinozo took on those qualities. He is a tiny little sexist jerk who is compelled to attempt to feel up any female agent he meets, while simultaneously insulting them with sexist language. Miah controls him by being the only one in the RC capable of frying bacon. Cali once offered to duct tape him to the ceiling, so he wouldn't bother Cadmar.
  • Ronan: a mini-Wraith. He was originally being fostered in the Lair until the pair of agents that requested him were out of training, but they disappeared in a training accident, and Agent Miah is way too attached to him to give him up now. He does not speak, but is very communicative with body language and facial expressions. He is dressed like Ronon Dex: brown leather clothes, tiny gun (capable of making small cigarette-like burns), and dreadlocks. He is rather messy, likes his bacon raw, and enjoys leaving sucker marks from his feeding hand on walls, on people, on other minis, etc.
  • Hauk'Tauri: a mini-Unas. He has not been able to show much personality as of yet, since he was stuck in a location inaccessible until the agents had gathered enough charges to interrupt his fic of origin. He has mid-sized horns, medium brown skin with dark green mottling, a tiny spear, and a bone collar necklace, and wears crudely crafted furs. He had already accepted Cali (thanks to chocolate energy bar distribution) by the end of the mission.
  • Lt. Colonel Samantha Cater: mini-Unas. This mini-Unas is a female, and has accepted Hauk'Tauri as her mate. They built a nest in the perpetual laundry pile under Miah's hammock, and produced three offspring. When the offspring are grown, they will set out to find a name in a badfic as their coming of age ritual. The mini-Unas family is largely self-contained. They keep to themselves unless one of the other occupants of the RC are disturbing the babies.

Mission Reports[]

Home: RC 4096: The Lair

Partnered with Miah[]

  • First Interlude: "How Cali Met Miah"
    • You thought he was a nursery orphan and he's unconscious why?
  • First Mission: "Miah and Cali Versus the Wraith Lover" (Stargate Atlantis)
    • In between blello Jolly Rogers on the SO's office walls and gutted disguise generators, Miah and Cali deal with a Stargate Atlantis Sue who creates an OC replacement, Not!Todd, as the target of her affections. Also, introducing Castor, the winged mad scientist in cuddly kitten form. Marinade yum!
  • Second Mission: "Of Glitter and Men" (NCIS)
    • Miah makes kissy noises, Castor enjoys pumpkin guts a bit too much, Cali rescues four children, and the NCIS continuum is saved from a fluffy wangst!Sue and her plague of glitter. Castor was so getting grounded—no mad science for a week!
  • Fourth Mission: "Almost Lost" (Stargate Atlantis x LotR)
    • In this mission to a crossover between Stargate Atlantis and LotR, it's a race against deletion where Sue-killing, continuum-disentangling, songs inappropriate for minors, and fights between minis and winged kittens are all part of the job. ... She, ugh, kisses zombie!Théodred.
  • Fifth Mission: "Not Dead Yet" (NSFW/NSFB) (Stargate SG-1), with Agents Kaliel/Maeryn (DBS)
    • Touch your tongues to your brains, check your peanut butter supply, and don't forget your Bleeprin for this mission that DAVD sent Kali, Maeryn, Miah, and Cali on. (Co-write with Pretzel)
  • Sixth Mission: "A Year and a Day"
    • (unfinished) (Co-write with Caddy-shack)
  • Cameo B: "First Contact"
    • Caddy's agent intro. You are one lousy liar, kid. (by Caddy-shack with only a cameo from me)
  • Second Interlude: "Truth or Dare I"
    • Kissing sludge monsters? Verbal sparring? Illogical attempts at logic? All part of a PPC team-building exercise. I dare you! (Co-write with Caddy-shack)
  • Cameo D: "Home, Sweet Home"
    • Miah and Cali are the first to see that Lee has been found when she and Ian return Ronan to the Lair. You brought him back? (Co-write with Pretzel)
  • MST I: "Sanctuary Rap" (NSFW/NSFB)
    • Cali tries to watch a movie with Kaliel/Maeryn, but when Luxury shows up with Dr. Tesla in tow, they end up stuck watching a badfic instead. I didn't know you could rap, Tesla! (Co-write with Caddy-shack and Pretzel)
  • Third Interlude: "Picking Up the Pieces"
    • The agents begin the process of coping with the aftermath of the "Dragon Lady" mission. And still life must go on. (Co-write with Caddy-shack)
  • Eleventh Mission: "Optional" (Harry Potter x Sanctuary), with Agents Cadmar, Maria, and Mark (DF)
    • The plot continues in the saga of genderbent!Cadmar, when Miah "requests" another mission with Cadmar, Cali, Mark, and Maria. Be careful what you wish for.
  • Twelfth Mission: "Bark at the Moon" (Sanctuary)
    • Miah and Cali confront a Sanctuary Sue who psychologically tortures a canon character while making herself look like the victim. No, the Ironic Overpower has it in for you.
  • Fourth Interlude: "Truth or Dare II"
    • Cadmar, Cali, Florestan, Mark, Maria, and Miah play another round of Truth or Dare. Relationships flourish, embarrassment abounds, and the sludge monster under the sink makes a guest appearance.
  • Thirteenth Mission: "Sateda" (Stargate Atlantis), Miah with Agent Cadmar (DF)
    • After Cadmar and Cali's first date, Miah interrogates Cadmar on her intentions during a mission in Stargate Atlantis that includes the youngest Sue yet. It was like that rabbit scene in Holy Grail! (Co-write with Caddy-shack)
  • Fifth Interlude: "McKaLoy's Fortnight"
    • What could possibly happen when a McKay-based mini-Wraith takes apart the RA? Miah and Cadmar arrive a bit late from the "Sateda" mission. So, at no time did you think, "Hey. Bringing this particular mini home would, I don't know, BE A BAD IDEA"?
  • Fourteenth Mission: (unfinished)
  • Fifteenth Mission: "Re-Run" (Burn Notice)
    • Biker-accountants?!
  • Sixteenth Mission: "Against All Odds" (Stargate Atlantis), Cali with Cadmar (DF)
    • Cadmar visits Cali as he is recovering from injuries from his previous mission, and they get assigned a fic where AU is only the beginning of the description. Read on to discover whether Cadmar's bedroom walls are covered with messages written in blood, what color Cali's eyes are, and what happens when one of the SGA guys gets pregnant.
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