- Not only are they running from zombies, but one of them is injured and has been bleeding all night because neither one of them bothered to bandage the wound. Now is NOT the time to figure out that they like boys.
- —An exasperated Boarder
Bad slash is defined as "improbable or poorly written romantic encounters between characters of the same sex." Bad slash is a separate badfic category because many of its traits are less likely to afflict non-slash. It is handled by the Department of Bad Slash. Those who write bad slash are known as badslashers, not to be confused with the Bad Slashers who spork it.
It is worth noting that we in the PPC fully believe in and acknowledge the existence of good slash, hence "Department of Bad Slash" rather than simply "Department of Slash."
Bad Slashers in the DBS are typically well-versed in the traits of good slash. Most are slash fans or slash writers themselves, or were recruited from slash fics. This is a good thing when the agents' background knowledge allows them to more easily track down slashwraiths. It's a bad thing when they become too annoyed by the fic turning their favorite pairing into a badly written mess to do the Duty and still keep their sanity.
Since there is not always a Mary Sue in bad slash, slash demons possessing the canon characters are exorcised by way of banging the characters on the head with a copy of canon, usually accompanied by a lot of shouting of things like "avaunt!" and "begone, foul slash dwimmerlaik!"
Things Commonly Encountered in Bad Slash
Though some badfic traits found in bad slash are also found in bad het, and in romance fics in general, most of the problems in bad slash stem from the fact that the majority of badslashers write relations between two homosexual adult males but are themselves heterosexual adolescent females who don't feel like doing a lot of research. When that is the case, you tend to get:
- Token Homophobic Jerks: Characters who, without any prior indications in canon, are violently against homosexual interaction.
- Unrealistically Tolerant Pillocks: Characters, usually friends or relations of one of the characters being slashed, who react to the news of gayness with "hooray, I'm so pleased for you, I hope your buttsecks is wonderful!" despite living in a time/place wherein they'd at least be dubious about the whole arrangement.
- Dubious lube: Commonly found in fics, even otherwise-good fics, in which the author is personally inexperienced or hasn't really thought through the consequences of putting certain things in certain places.
- The Pronoun Problem: Difficulty discerning which "he" (or "she") is the subject and which is the object of any given sentence. A common method of getting over this is excessive use of the characters' names. In genfic, it is often possible to spot a habitual slash-author by their instinctive avoidance of pronouns, even when they'd be perfectly correct and unambiguous.
- Woobification: In which one character is effectively turned into a sad little thirteen-year-old girl or, at best, a Harlequin romance novel heroine. It should be noted that this definition of woobie is not the same as that espoused by TV Tropes.
- Mpreg: Male pregnancy (e.g., Faramir finds out that he is pregnant with Frodo's baby).
- Bad biology: Frequently found in bad slash, mostly because, as observed above, the writers don't feel like doing a lot of research. Without wishing to go into details, often what occurs in bad slashfics would cause pain to or internally injure a character, or is simply not possible. It's not that we advocate underage slash authors researching the exact mechanics of gay sex, it's just that we'd like to not have to take so many canon characters to Medical. So, if you don't know what's involved when two guys are gettin' it on, then kindly don't write about it.
- Characters Out of Character: This can happen to the members of the slashed couple, who may act unrealistically just because they are in love or just because the writer believes that they should act differently because they are being written as gay. It can also happen to the canonical significant others of the characters, who may be turned into homophobes, abusers, or generally unpleasant people.
- Plotholes: One or both of the slashed couple's canonical significant others may be dropped into a plothole. If the character in question has only ever had opposite-sex relationships in canon, their past with the opposite sex may also be dropped into a plothole (with the fanwriter evidently having forgotten the existence of bisexuals or gays who nevertheless have opposite-sex relationships). Of course, the garden-variety plothole with tangled logic and general confusion can pop up in bad slash, too.
- Trivialised rape: Where the "submissive" partner is raped, and they end up falling in "love" anyways (aka Stockholm Syndrome). Also includes fetishized rape. Characters involved in this are very, very often Out of Character, a particularly horrible example being Harry Potter raping Draco Malfoy, and Malfoy falling in "love" with Harry anyways. Unfortunately, this charge is extremely common in canon Yaoi, not just badfic.