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Aspen Green is an elf in the Legal Department. She was written by chem_nerd from approximately March 2005 to March 2006.

Aspen works as a field operative. She has dealings with all of Legal's divisions, but specializes in physics. The "Legal Department Physics Handbook" was written by her c. 2006.[1] She likes Lord Elrond and science.

Unusually for an elf, Aspen is blind. While in Headquarters, she prefers to navigate with the aid of a white cane. She may use a disguise if she particularly wants to see something, but in her words, "wearing a disguise long term feels really, really weird."[2]

Agent History[]

Aspen joined the PPC sometime before the Reorganisation took place in 1999.[3] She was nearly killed by the DIS once, under the Mysterious Somebody's rule.[3]

She came from a Lord of the Rings Suefic in which she existed as a painless, non-disfiguring source of noble suffering for her Suvian sister, Mimosa Greenflower. Mimosa was told she couldn't join the Fellowship because she had to stay home and take care of Aspen—never mind the fact that she completely ignored Aspen, who was perfectly capable of taking care of herself anyway. Naturally, Mimosa whined her way into going anyhow. Then the assassins got her and fed her to Smaug. Since Aspen hadn't violated canon except by existing, they recruited her.

In 2005,[4] she participated in an experiment with split-department partnerships, the goal of which was to ensure that assassins didn't miss any charges in their rush to do the Duty. Aspen was partnered with Agent Fin Sharkley of the Department of Mary Sues. They lived in Response Center 6.022*10^23 (Mole) along with Araegon the mini-Balrog, Copernicus the cat, and Molly the "labratory," a talking chocolate laboratory glassware set that displays Labrador tendencies.

Makes-Things modified RC Mole's disguise generator so that Aspen had the canonical visual abilities of whatever she was disguised as on missions—she would see very well as an elf and scarcely at all as a Ringwraith.

As the assassin of the pair, Fin did most of the Sue-slaying, but she would often let Aspen have a turn if the Sue defied the laws of physics or went after Elrond. Since her backstory left Aspen with a fiery, passionate hatred for Sues, this was bad news for the Suvians.

Aspen and Fin were partners for at least a year.[1] It is unknown exactly when the experiment ended, or whether or not they parted ways afterward.

Mission Log[]

Home: Response Center #6.022*10^23

Partnered with Fin[]


  1. 1.0 1.1 "Tales from Response Center #6.022*10^23 - Part Seven" by chem_nerd, Mar 7, 2006
  2. Aspen's bio by chem_nerd, March 2005
  3. 3.0 3.1 Crashing Down, Chapter 12 by Huinesoron, c. 2008
  4. "Tales from Response Center #6.022*10^23 - Part One" by chem_nerd, Mar 19, 2005