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She's a woodsprite, whatever that is. And she comes from the north of Middle-earth. Why is it that all the freaky creature 'Sues come from Angmar?
—Agent Dafydd

Alumia was a Lord of the Rings Mary Sue slain by Agents Dafydd and Selene.

The Ring of Sairalindë notably makes an appearance in the mission, flaring up during an argument between Dafydd and Selene. Fortunately, Selene didn't press the matter, and nothing came of it... that time.

Character History[]

Alumia was a woodsprite and a princess from some uncanonical location around Angmar, and she had the power to merge with things. She joined the Fellowship as a Tenth Walker and followed them around, ripping off scenes from the movies and mooning over Legolas. In the meantime, she created a legion of mini-Balrogs and caused rampant geographical distortions, at one point causing all the trees and other landforms between Rivendell and the Misty Mountains to become flat to account for the speed of the journey.

Her story arc consisted of "OMG Legolas is hott BUT he's my best friend I can't think that BUT OMG Legolas is so hott." In fact, she was just about to bed him when Dafydd and Selene intervened.

She promptly merged with Arda. That's right, the whole planet.

Mass Exorcism[]

PPC HQ was placed on alert, and agents from every department and fandom portalled to Arda to exorcise the world. Agent Quen coordinated the horde of agents, which included the following in order of appearance:

With all these and probably more, and a special transponder from Makes-Things to allow for communication to all CADs in the Word World, the exorcism of the entire planet was accomplished, and Alumia reappeared in the place where she'd originally merged with the planet. Right where Selene and Dafydd were waiting.

Character Demise[]

Alumia racked up a massive fifty-eight charges, a record for DOGA at the time. Dr. Niamh of the Department of Mary Sue Experiments and Research removed a finger for study, and Dafydd unleashed the minis she'd created. Presumably, they devoured her.


The badfic is gone, but here's the mission.