Why am I Here

Alex
Alex was a Mary Sue slain by Agents Jay and Acacia, notable for her habit of falling from the sky and landing on canon characters. She appeared in a Lord of the Rings badfic.

Character History
Alex owned a small pet dragon named Leviathan, used a magical katana, somehow tie-dyed chainmail, and fell in love with an orc who wanted to become an elf. She fell into Gandalf's lap during the Council at Rivendell, punched Boromir in the nose, and generally pulled everyone out of character until Jay amused herself by regaling Alex with a sock-puppet-assisted lecture on violence and Gondorian cheese. From Rivendell, Alex proceeded merrily to Orthanc, where she knocked on the door to ask Saruman why she had a magic sword and was, naturally, captured. Then she jumped off the top of the tower onto Gimli. Apparently having gotten used to being captured, Alex proceeded on to Mirkwood, where she was captured by King Thranduil.

Charges
Alex was charged with "a long list of offenses... which include disrupting the canon by altering geography and time, stretching the laws of probability to breaking point, interfering with the characters of Boromir, Saruman, Thranduil, Elrond, Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Gandalf, Gimli... hell, practically everyone you met... having a Cute Animal Friend, annoying Saruman, breaking Boromir's nose and making him look like an idiot, pissing us off, being a flaming twit, Being Obstructive When it's Been a Long Day and I've Had Enough, and in fact most of the offenses the Protectors of the Plot Continuum officially recognize, as well as many they don't."

Character Demise
Jay and Acacia caught up with the Sue in the Mirkwood prison. Acacia shot Alex in the shoulder with a poisoned arrow and dumped her into Mount Doom.

Charlie
Charlie, AKA "Marty Stu Orc," was a Marty Stu slain by Agents Jay and Acacia. He appeared in a Lord of the Rings badfic.

Character History
Charlie was an orc who wanted to become an elf again (despite that he could never have been an elf to begin with). He attempted to rescue his girlfriend Alex from Orthanc, but only succeeded in getting captured and getting Saruman drunk, for some reason. And then getting captured again in Mirkwood. No, it doesn't make any sense to us, either.

Charges
Charlie was charged with "misrepresenting the entire race of orcs, bending the laws of biochemistry and getting Saruman drunk, ignoring the laws of gravity by falling off a big-arsed tower and not dying, and for being able to manifest a harmonica."

Character Demise
Jay and Acacia caught up with Charlie in the Mirkwood prison. Jay threw Charlie into Mount Doom.