Miah Arthur

Agent Miah Arthur is an Assassin in the Department of Mary Sues. She works in the Freelance Division, because she can't just pick one fandom to obsess about. Her favorite canons to work in are Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, and NCIS.

Origin
After being rescued from an original Mary Sueish story by an amateur author, Miah bounced around the net for many years. She is delighted to have finally found a story world to call home, instead of just serving as an Internet user name.

She has watched and loved the NCIS and Stargate Atlantis worlds. She has read many, many fanfics set in these universes and has been deeply saddened and offended on many occasions by the fangirl!treatment of her favorite characters. However, she had no recourse until one day fate intervened in the form of a PPC story by IndeMaat.

Appearance
She is 5'8" with light brown hair nearly always worn in a ponytail. Typical clothing is jeans, t-shirts with no slogans, and&mdash;when wearing shoes&mdash;beat-up tennis shoes (always the same pair, because, really, what is the point of owning 20+ pairs of shoes?) Clothing choice is dictated by whatever smells the cleanest from the pile on the floor.

Personality and Habits
Miah is fairly serious and studies intently. However, she is also scatterbrained, and while focusing on one subject is apt to completely tune out the rest of the world. She can always be bribed with chocolate&mdash;particularly brownies. She is in the habit of knitting scarves that look like the one the fourth Doctor (played by Tom Baker) wore. These are given away as welcome gifts to new boarders and agents, as the darn things just take up too much room otherwise. She likes to make random Monty Python references.

She is hopeless when it comes to learning the rules of grammar. A frequent complaint that can be heard from her direction is "why can't grammar be as simple as 2 + 2 = 4? No, with grammar 2 + 2 could equal 3 or 5 or 27!" However, a saving grace is that she has fairly good instincts for how to make something "sound good."

She enjoys a messy environment, and feels that excess neatness is a sure sign of a diseased mind.

More than anything she hates canons forced out of character, particularly for the purpose of satisfying shippers.

Partner and Other Creatures Living in the Lair
She recently acquired a new partner, a superhero wannabe from the Mystery Men continuum named Cali Still. His superhero identity is the Don of Daylight. When he is not posing and giving huge false smiles, he can generally be found cleaning. He has an amazing knack for organizing almost any mess. He and Miah have not yet come to an agreement as to the state of cleanliness the Lair will be maintained at. Recent indications are that extensive negotiations have resulted in designated mess, mess-free, and neutral zones within the RC.


 * Castor: a small, fluffy, gray kitten with wings and opposable thumbs. He is a creation of Agent Eileen's, and therefore has a tendency toward mad science when he is bored. Agent Eileen gave Castor to Miah and Cali after the unfortunate incident of the litter of kittens working together to spike the Flowers' plant food with Bleepsinthe. So far, the idea of keeping Castor out of trouble has not worked too well. Miah and Cali think they may have been able to make peace with DoSAT now, but they are still being ultra-careful with the technology.


 * Magee: an NCIS mini-McGee who speaks with an Irish accent, sings off-color drinking songs (not always Irish in origin), uses rude words, and collaborates with Castor to manipulate technology. He prefers his bacon cooked.


 * Abbey: an NCIS mini-Abby who speaks with a Redwall Woodlander accent, has a serious sweet tooth, likes Magee, cannot tolerate caffeine as well as her original, and also collaborates with Castor on the manipulation of technology.


 * Ronan: a mini-Wraith. He is being fostered in The Lair until the pair of agents that requested him are out of training. He does not speak, but is very communicative with body language and facial expressions. He is dressed like Ronon Dex--brown leather clothes, tiny gun (capable of making small cigarette-like burns), and dreadlocks. He is rather messy, likes his bacon raw, and enjoys leaving sucker marks from his feeding hand on walls, on people, on other minis, etc.


 * Hauk'Tauri: a mini-Unas. He has not been able to show much personality as of yet, since he was stuck in an location inaccessible until the agents had gathered enough charges to interrupt his fic of origin. He has mid-sized horns, medium brown skin with dark green mottling, a tiny spear, and a bone collar necklace, and wears crudely crafted furs. He had already accepted Cali (thanks to chocolate energy bar distribution) by the end of the mission.

Weapons
Various non-lethal distance weapons are her primary choice of weapon&mdash;if the canon allows. Wraith stunners, zat guns, tazers, tranquilizer dart guns, etc. She dearly wants to come across a Travelor gun that could "accidentally" find its way back to her RC.

All this non-lethality is for the protection of the many Sue-possessed canons. The canons are to be exorcised... the Sues aren't so lucky. In her most prized possession, a Heward's Handy Haversack&mdash;come across in an online D&D adventure she had a while back&mdash;Miah keeps a wide array of weapons such as cast iron skillets, pointed sticks, a basket of raspberries, remote-activated explosive vests... you get the picture.

Mission Reports
Home: RC 4096: The Lair

Partnered with Cali

 * First Interlude: "How Cali Met Miah"
 * You thought he was a nursery orphan and he's unconscious why?


 * First Mission: "Miah and Cali Versus the Wraith Lover" (Stargate Atlantis)
 * In between blello Jolly Rogers on the SO's office walls and gutted disguise generators, Miah and Cali deal with a Stargate Atlantis Sue who creates an OC replacement, Not!Todd, as the target of her affections. Also, introducing Castor, the winged mad scientist in cuddly kitten form. Marinade yum!


 * Second Mission: "Of Glitter and Men" (NCIS)
 * Miah makes kissy noises, Castor enjoys pumpkin guts a bit too much, Cali rescues four children, and the NCIS continuum is saved from a fluffy wangst!Sue and her plague of glitter. Castor was so getting grounded&mdash;no mad science for a week!


 * Third Mission: "Pillows and Zats and Sues, Oh My!" (Lord of the Rings x Star Wars), with Trainee Cadmar
 * Miah and Cali take agent-in-training Cadmar on this crossover mission. Ten! There Are Ten! (Co-write with Caddy-shack)


 * Fourth Mission: "Almost Lost" (Stargate Atlantis x LotR)
 * In this mission to a crossover between Stargate Atlantis and LotR, it's a race against deletion where Sue-killing, continuum-disentangling, songs inappropriate for minors, and fights between minis and winged kittens are all part of the job. ... She, ugh, kisses zombie!Théodred.


 * Cameo A: "Maybe You Should Have Shot Him"
 * Cali tells Miah "maybe you should have shot him" after they meet Unger in the HQ Lounge.


 * Fifth Mission: "Not Dead Yet" ( NSFW/NSFB ) (Stargate SG-1), with Agents Kaliel/Maeryn (DBS)
 * Touch your tongues to your brains, check your peanut butter supply, and don't forget your Bleeprin for this mission that DAVD sent Kali, Maeryn, Miah, and Cali on. (Co-write with Pretzel)


 * Sixth Mission: "A Year and a Day"
 * (unfinished) (Co-write with Caddy-shack)


 * Cameo B: "First Contact"
 * Caddy's agent intro. You are one lousy liar, kid. (by Caddy-shack with only a cameo from me)


 * Seventh Mission: "Soap Opera-ness Is Totally A Word" (Merlin)
 * Miah and Cali come across unexpected good fortune while they face the mind-destroying levels of stupidity in this Merlin Bad AU mission. Miah breaks a rule or two, a mini is lost, but returned, and they discover the first documented mini-Questing Beast.


 * Cameo C: "The Delivering of a Mini"
 * By Pretzel. A brief interlude in which Agents Lee and Ian deliver an NCIS mini, Abbey, to the Lair.


 * Second Interlude: "Truth or Dare I"
 * Kissing sludge monsters? Verbal sparring? Illogical attempts at logic? All part of a PPC team-building exercise. I dare you! (Co-write with Caddy-shack)


 * Cameo D: "Home, Sweet Home"
 * Miah and Cali are the first to see that Lee has been found when she and Ian return Ronan to the Lair. You brought him back? (Co-write with Pretzel)


 * Cameo E: "NCIS Mini Adoption Center"
 * Enter at Your Own Risk.


 * Eighth Mission: "K is for Cabal" (Sanctuary)
 * Miah and Cali stop a history-rewriting Rebellious!Sue. Quick! To the Internet!


 * Ninth Mission: "The 'Russian Roulette With All Six Shots' Mission," Part 1, Part 2 (Sanctuary)
 * Miah and Cali are sent on a mini-mission marathon in the Sanctuary canon.


 * MST I: "Sanctuary Rap" ( NSFW/NSFB )
 * Cali tries to watch a movie with Kaliel/Maeryn, but when Luxury shows up with Dr. Tesla in tow, they end up stuck watching a badfic instead. I didn't know you could rap, Tesla! (Co-write with Caddy-shack and Pretzel)


 * Tenth Mission: "Dragon Lady," Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (Harry Potter), Miah with Agents Cadmar, Maria Nightingale, and Mark Sienna (DF)
 * Miah is sent to aid Cadmar, Mark, and Maria in killing a Harry Potter Sue. Poor planning, poor maintenance, and bad luck end with a shocking consequence for one of the agents. (Co-write with Caddy-shack)


 * Third Interlude: "Picking Up the Pieces"
 * The agents begin the process of coping with the aftermath of the "Dragon Lady" mission. And still life must go on. (Co-write with Caddy-shack)


 * Eleventh Mission: "Optional" (Harry Potter x Sanctuary), with Agents Cadmar, Maria, and Mark (DF)
 * The plot continues in the saga of genderbent!Cadmar, when Miah "requests" another mission with Cadmar, Cali, Mark, and Maria. Be careful what you wish for.


 * Twelfth Mission: "Bark at the Moon" (Sanctuary)
 * Miah and Cali confront a Sanctuary Sue who psychologically tortures a canon character while making herself look like the victim. No, the Ironic Overpower has it in for you.


 * Fourth Interlude: "Truth or Dare II"
 * Cadmar, Cali, Florestan, Mark, Maria, and Miah play another round of Truth or Dare. Relationships flourish, embarrassment abounds, and the sludge monster under the sink makes a guest appearance.


 * Thirteenth Mission: "Sateda" (Stargate Atlantis), Miah with Agent Cadmar (DF)
 * After Cadmar and Cali's first date, Miah interrogates Cadmar on her intentions during a mission in Stargate Atlantis that includes the youngest Sue yet. It was like that rabbit scene in Holy Grail! (Co-write with Caddy-shack)


 * Fifth Interlude: "McKaLoy's Fortnight"
 * What could possibly happen when a McKay-based mini-Wraith takes apart the RA? Miah and Cadmar arrive a bit late from the "Sateda" mission. So, at no time did you think, "Hey. Bringing this particular mini home would, I don't know, BE A BAD IDEA"?


 * Fourteenth Mission: (unfinished)


 * Sixth Interlude: "Christmas Party"


 * Fifteenth Mission: "Re-Run" (Burn Notice)
 * Biker-accountants?!


 * Sixteenth Mission: "Against All Odds" (Stargate Atlantis), Cali with Cadmar (DF)
 * Cadmar visits Cali as he is recovering from injuries from his previous mission, and they get assigned a fic where AU is only the beginning of the description. Read on to discover whether Cadmar's bedroom walls are covered with messages written in blood, what color Cali's eyes are, and what happens when one of the SGA guys gets pregnant.