Land Before Time: Littlefoot x Cera

Land Before Time: Littlefoot x Cera is probably the worst fic ever written in a kids' continuum, rivaled only by Agony in Pink. The original text was deleted from FFN somewhere around 2009, and there are no known archives. It's considered an old shame by the author.

It was sporked in mission format by Trojie and Paddlebrains in 2008.

Description
Events in this 35+ chapter work can be summarised thus:


 * Littlefoot and Cera randomly have sex and decide that that means they're in love.


 * Littlefoot's grandparents are, like, totally cool with the sex, but once Littlefoot and Cera reveal they're in love, it's a big freaking deal, apparently.


 * Ali from Journey Through the Mists (who, thanks to possession by Sue-wraith, is a total slut and a bigot to boot) turns up and decides she wants Littlefoot for herself.


 * The rest of the fic seems to revolve around Littlefoot, Ali, and Cera having sex and beating each other up.

Major departures from LBT canon are as follows:


 * Cera is a nymphomaniac.


 * Everyone talks like they're in a third rate, poorly translated sexual psychology textbook.


 * None of the characters have any character.


 * It's hugely biologically inaccurate, simply anatomically as well as several other things that won't be mentioned in this public (and accessible to younger people) forum.


 * There are random earthshakes constantly and many other geographical/geological charges.

Adaptations
On Thursday January 24, Huinesoron released an audio version of the first chapter, as read by himself. The recording was greeted with critical acclaim, but was unfortunately withdrawn 24 hours after its posting. All known copies have been destroyed, or should have been.

Sporkings

 * We wish [Trojie] the very best. I bags her stuff if she dies. Seriously. ~ Pads
 * Hah, I didn't die. ~ Trojie
 * There is still time yet. ~ Pads

It was originally sporked by Agent Trojie of the Department of Bad Slash (with help from Agent Zach Homewood as primary partner, and Agents Manx, Shadow, Jill Greenleaf, Rael, Miriam, Lasa, Montbretia, Gypsy and Paddlebrains, and Alice the Horse as Assassination Team), and subsequent chapters were sporked as they came out by Trojie and Pads.


 * Sunday, 23 March 2008: Mission released. (Read it here - NSFW, NSFB, and with adult content; if LJ won't let you read it try logging out. But don't blame Trojie if it makes you vomit.) It is so long that it had to be released in eight parts. It is very seriously recommended that people with weak stomachs or low tolerance for smut DON'T try and read it. For the love of Glod, just don't.


 * Monday, 25 March 2008: The author, with absolutely no respect for Trojie's diligent attention to duty, releases another chapter. Trojie and Paddlebrains spork it in record time here. In the name of fairness, they wish to point out that it is even smuttier than the previous release.
 * The Suvian replacement for Cera was recruited during this mission; she has been renamed Marsha.


 * Tuesday, April 22: Yet another chapter is posted and sporked by Trojie and Pads. Read it here. As always, NSFW, NSFB, rather disturbing. But shorter than the last two, at least.


 * Friday, July 4, 2008: Pads discovers Chapter 35 has been uploaded. Mission released Saturday, July 5, 2008. Read it here. Warning, NSFW, NSFB, like all LxC. Sigh.

Trojie and Pads have also written an AU interlude about what they'd like to *do* to 'LBTWriter,' the author: bad biology rebounds with a vengeance. Please note that the actions in this interlude are not sanctioned by the PPC, AU or not, but the link is provided for the sake of completeness. It's an expression of frustration at good advice being ignored, not a serious desire to harm the author. As Boarder!Trojie explains it to a reviewer, 'it gives you some idea of the depth to which Agent Trojie hates people who get biology wrong ... esp. after I reviewed her linking to a paper which GAVE DETAILS of the latest ideas on dinosaur reproduction.'