Talk:Dubious Lube

NWS: In many continua warriors could, theoretically, be expected to carry around oil, as non-stainless steel needs to be oiled regularly to prevent rust. It wouldn't work as well as the fanwriters expect, but it would probably work. Blood, from what I've read, just tears things up worse. GreyLady, this reminds me of the tail end of the Oddlots essay on How Not to Write M-E Romance: "Lavender is an antiseptic..." On the other hand, there are apparently published yaoi comiccers who are under the impression that the anus is self-lubricating. In humans, even.Glass 00:04, 16 May 2008 (CDT)

Yeah, but your logical reason for carrying around oil supposes that the Elves are also carrying armour, which they seldom do in badslash. Sigh. In fact, the only reference to armour I recall in slash is in a BagEnders Non-Plot-Defining Random Slashy Interlude, where Aragorn fantasises about removing Boromir's chainmail with his teeth, before concluding that it would be easier to remove it 'the normal way'. Sadly, the logic of you and I is not the logic of badslashers. - Trojie

Maybe Elves wouldn't be wearing armour, but they'd probably be carrying weapons, which would need oiling as well. (Cassie Cameron-Young)

I refuse to believe that Elves would be so thoughtless as to waste the oil they need to keep their weapons functioning in order to have it off with some grubby Ranger :) - Trojie
 * I dunno, I'd say that with a grubby Ranger the oil would be needed for sure. He's probably too grubby to, erm, go smoothly without it. July who is laughing her head off 20:31, 16 May 2008 (CDT)
 * Well, yes, but I think my point was more along the lines of 'I refuse to believe that Elves would be so thoughtless as to have it off with some grubby Ranger'. Because who wants to be 'married' to a grubby Ranger? - Trojie. (PS; that was *rhetorical*, you can all put your hands down NOW before you embarrass yourselves -_-)
 * Heh. Yeah, I was thinking knives.  I shan't comment on the rest. Glass

And I've seen one instance where molasses was used as lube. It was an Elured/Elurin fic.
 * Uh...no.Glass

I did put in "egg white" here, but was informed by several Fanficrants users that in fact this can work. It still doesn't sound particularly appealing, but there you go. Laburnum
 * Well, given it's a protein (albumen) that the body makes already and thus is not likely to be harmful, and it *is* slippery, I'd agree with them, but ... agreed. Waiting for your lover to quickly seperate an egg before you have it off is probably the least likely thing ever to qualify as foreplay. Trojie