TIANATDATPPC Part IV

Part IV of the Things I am not Allowed to Do at the PPC List.

Can be found on the PPC LJ Community here.

291. I will not dump Elrond onto the Disc.

292. Quark and Kadish must never be allowed to meet.

293. Mr. Pounder would be most unwelcome on Terramort.

294. I will not sow salt in the Flowers' soil.

295. I will not haze newbies by making them read all of "Celebrían."

-Nor "Cho Chang's Desires."

-Nor any fic from That Series.

-In fact, atrocious badfics are not for hazing at all.

296. I will not threaten to assimilate another Agent.

-Nor will I act on that threat.

297. The hourglasses in Death's Domain are not toys.

-Nor are the scythes.

298. I will not use Zeeky H. Bomb to threaten the Flowers.

-Because everyone knows how that would turn out.

299. I will not attempt the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on a Ghostling.

300. I will not tease a Yuuzhan Vong Agent's tools.

-They bite.

301: I will not drop Rivendell onto Mon Calamari.

-Nor will I allow Rivendell to be dropped onto Mon Calamari.

-Or Coruscant.

-For that matter, I will not allow Rivendell to be dropped anywhere other than its original site.

302: In fact, I will not allow any large buildings to be transported anywhere.

-Even if it would be really funny.

303: When sharing an RC with two other agents, I will not attempt sabotage on their half of it by covering it, wall-to-wall, with pages from any of the Legendary Evils of the PPC.

-Even if that agent has taken over your half of the RC with pictures of L and Matsuda.

304: I will never teach my mini to eat assignments.

-for the Flowers will kill me dead. Or worse, send me to That Series.

Nor will I teach them to eat my sister's assginments. (Ha-ha, 402. Who's laughing now?!)

305: I will never attempt to clone a canon to help with paperwork.

-because I have seen the Anti-Lusting Films and will never again if I can help it.

306: I will not tell blonde jokes when any of the Vanyar are in earshot.

307: I will not give a Yuuzhan Vong a pair of Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots.

308: I will not put the 300 Spartans into Helm's Deep.

309: I will stop singing The Jay and Silent Bob Rap.

310: I will not wonder aloud whether Flowers mate in dark storerooms.

311: I will not attempt to find proof that Flowers mate in dark storerooms.

312: I will not make jokes about Spiderman being an emo.

-Okay, maybe once or twice.

313: I will not nuke Mordor, unless I have arranged for a Mary Sue convention ahead of time.

314: At a wedding, I will not spike any beverage pertaining to the bride and groom with anti-Lustin.

315: I will not administer Bleep-anything to avian or ornithanthrope Agents.

-It wreaks havoc on their respiratory systems.

316: Mary Sues are not simply misunderstood.

317: I will not require the Animorphs to register as Animagi.

318: I will not spike a Human teetotaler's beverages with Romulan ale.

-Nor a Vampire teetotaler's with blood.

319: I will not introduce Prince Orlofsky to Romulan ale.

320: I will not draw Agents I dislike in compromising positions.

-Nor will I photoshop heads onto Truth or Dare games.

321: When Titus Andronicus is serving a meal to the Emperor, I will not yell "Soylent Green is people!"

322: I will not have Fleet Admiral Gardner sing "When I Was a Lad."

323: I will not attempt the Imperius Curse on anyone.

-Especially not my LO.