The S.O. Has Only Got One Frond

The S.O. Has Only Got One Frond is a popular drinking song in Headquarters, written by an unknown agent. While nobody remembers who wrote it or when, it's a common choice for disgruntled agents with strong beer and decent singing voices. "It was one of those songs that had the much-prized combination of catchiness, hardly ever being sung entirely sober and being able to insult Upstairs without anyone minding overmuch."

While the lyrics can vary, such as the Flower with "no fronds at all" changing depending on the singer, the general idea remains the same, as the song references members of the Board of Department Heads one after another; where the content lies from good-natured ribbing to outright sedition depends on who's singing and how drunk/disgruntled/both they are. It isn't known how Doctor Fitzgerald, a human doctor, fits into the song.

Like its World One namesake, it can probably be assumed to use the same general tune as the Colonel Bogey March. It might or might not have been updated with the death of the Clover, and his replacement by the Fern.