FAQ: The Board

This is a FAQ written for/on/about the PPC Board for newbies primarily by JulyFlame and the Trojanhorse.

If you already know how to use the board, you probably don't need to read this.

=The Board FAQ=

So, if you're reading this, you might not have too good of an idea of how to use the board. That, or you're here for kicks.

That said, no need to fear, JulyFlame and other Boarders are here, with this handy FAQ and some funny jokes.

First Things First
The very first thing to ask yourself, you, the newbie, is "How did I get here?" Said question referring to the Board, of course, not your existence in the universe and not this particular wiki article, since you likely got here through a link on the Board.

If you got here through the Oddlots page, you've probably already seen and read the PPC Board Constitution there. If you have not read it, do so now, and come back to this page after you are done there. Have you done that? Good.

Let's move on to the next part.

Posting on the Board
Given you've wound up here, you probably have already made at least one post on the Board. Nontheless, let's go over the post form that's used on the board.

One of the trickier things that you notice here is the inclusion of a "Login" link. As various Boarders (such as Pigeonarmy) can attest, this login button is very temperamental and does usually not work. It will serve you better to just fill out the "Author" text field every time. Filling in the E-mail field will give you emails to show that your post has been replied to.

As you have been told in the Constitution, when writing your post try and make an effort towards spelling and grammar.

The PPC Board is based on a thread system, where topics are posted and replied to. The conversation thus appears as a line of links stretching down (or diagonally) down the page, and this line is known as a 'thread'. Only a certain number of threads may be displayed on the page, and each new one posted bumps old ones off into the ether. It is for this reason that 'multiple posting' or posting many individual threads quickly is frowned upon on the Board, as it means that many a convoluted discussion or intriguing topic has been shunted from display by someone asking something inane.

On the subject of inane questions; we like them. Please ask lots of questions. The best place to do this is in your original introductory thread; don't be worried that it will get lost in the bewildering array of posts in that thread; oldbies keep a close eye on most threads and someone will usually pick up questions and answer them for you. Don't, however, post a series of questions in individual threads, for the reasons listed above.

Common Questions About The Board (And Boarders)
Now, some common questions about the Board and Boarders.

Help! X Doesn't Seem To Like Me!
This likely isn't the case; most of us love newbies if they behave themselves and don't go completely over the edge and end up in a sanitarium. Er, I mean, don't worry, we'll still love you even after you're occupying a room with padded walls, but not everyone is going to greet you; sometimes we have other things we want to do or are distracted away from, and might seem to be ignoring you.

We really aren't, honest.

But They Keep Correcting Everything I Say!
This shouldn't really worry you too much, the PPC strives towards accuracy as much as it can, and sometimes Boarders do this instinctively. The best you can do is work to minimize those errors, but no fear, everyone will accept the occasional mess-up or so in a post. Grammar Nazism is a common trait among us, and errors that should have been caught make a lot of us twitch in our boots.

Boarders may also sometimes call you on facts you might have mentioned. If you think you're right, fight back, but remember that this is a friendly forum and that descent into flaming is Not Allowed.

I Just Asked For Permission And Got Rejected! Why?
This is probably because you are just too shiny new, or haven't shown up enough around the Board for the Permission Givers to think you fit well enough to contribute to PPC Missions. Usually a month of posting or so will be enough to get you permission, depending on the circumstances.

And if you get rejected for permission, you can always wait and then try again later.

What's With All The Weird Swearwords?
That'd be because we tend to cling to words we like or find appropriate for swearwords. They might come from a particular canon as a swearword, or from fandom.

A brief list of these, and where they came from are:


 * By the Lion's Mane, Lion Alive!: Commonly used by Narnian Agents, the former is used like "good heavens" and the latter for unexpected dire situations.


 * Camoudile-on-a-stick, what the Camoudile-on-a-stick?: The camoudile is a predator from the Age of Haven. Why it is on a stick is unknown.


 * Flaming Denethor!: Loose translation; 'Oh my fracking God!' or 'WTF?!'. The origin of this phrase is in the Return of the King movie, where Denethor, on fire, hurls himself from the top of Minas Tirith. This was a ... surprise, to many fans.


 * Fork, What the fork?, Forking: See below 'Spork, What the spork, sporking'; similar but more pointy.


 * Frack, fracking/frak, frakking: From the Battlestar Galactica continuum comes 'frack'. Roughly equivalent to an ancient Anglo-Saxon swearword that rhymes with 'duck'. Your mother is likely to know what this one means. Frak is also a common swearword in the Warhammer 40K continuum.


 * Glaurung, glaurunging: Also similar in meaning to the Anglo-Saxon duck rhyme. In use on the Board because of a discussion which hovered around Turin Turambar and, well, Glaurung. It continues in use because, as you may have surmised, PPCers are a strange lot. Glaurung, of course, was a Dragon from the Lord of the Rings continuum. The first recorded use of this expletive is by Air of Mystery on the Board on September 27, 2007.


 * Glod (noun): Used in place of 'God' by some Boarders who read a lot of Terry Pratchett and have atheistic leanings. It's not a typo, promise.


 * Grey Lady, By the Hat, Grey Lady and her holy Hat, etc.: These derive from Greyladybast, patron Goddess of the PPC, and her symbol, the Most Holy Hat.  This is a call for aid and perseverance for the invoker, or a wish for smiting of the infidels who inspired its use.


 * Jadis in a block of ice!: Similar to "Flaming Denethor" above in usage and origin. It refers to Jadis' materialization in, well, a block of ice in the Prince Caspian movie.


 * Kriff, kriffing: This is from the Star Wars continuum, and is also equivalent to the word that rhymes with 'duck'. It's a very naughty word in the Star Wars continuum, and if your mother knew she'd wash your mouth out with soap for using it.


 * Oh my Aslan/Eru/Yahvo: Those are names for God in Narnia, Lord of the Rings, and Myst, respectively.


 * Spork, What the spork?, Sporking: A slightly modified use of spork and sporking, while the same word and general vague direction as their intended use PPC wise, this is not naughty at all, unless you've been taking bizarre lessons from Agent Luxury, or some of the more perverse Boarders.


 * Wohbanobongu: An interjection of surprise that used to be common in Myst fandom. Originated in the Cyan Worlds game Cosmic Osmo and the Worlds Beyond the Mackerel.

I've found lots of badfic! Now what?
Your attention to duty does you credit. You should bring this stuff to the attention of the Board, of course, but try to do so by either adding it to a current thread on the topic of badfic, or putting it all in one post; multiple new threads with only one badfic in each is Bad (see above on why multiple posting is bad). Yes, we are a badfic-sporking association, but the Board is also where we have our fun and our downtime, and thus having it taken up with badfic notification is a tad depressing at times. You should also put any badfic you find on the Unclaimed Badfic page of the wiki; you should put Title, Author, Link and the summary that the author wrote (resisting the urge to correct any mistakes in it). And if something is NSFW or NSFB, you should note that too.

OK, but what is NSFW/NSFB?
These are warnings that the following link contains things that are likely to get you into trouble at work/school; NSFW stands for Not Safe For Work. NSFB is insanity taken to such a level that you yourself may suffer mental injury from reading it; it stands for Not Safe For Brain. NSFB links are usually, though not always, NSFW as well. Lots of people read and post on the Board at work or school during lunchtime, and it's best to warn them if you're linking to something that may potentially get them in trouble if someone reads over their shoulders.

Hey, why do we keep to the Board still? It's all old and topics drop off! Can't we go someplace else?
Simple answer: No.

More complete answer, which has been stolen from Huinesoron's latest reply to this question on the Board:

a) This is where everything links to, including the Oddlots homepage which we can't edit.

b) When we have our occasional heated debates, it's actually better that they drop into said abyss.

c) For the PPC, it's better to have a Board that's constantly moving than one where topics get pushed back to the top when commented on, since it means new topics don't get lost, old ones don't get dragged out by a couple of people, and any particularly interesting ones can be restarted after it falls off the front page.

d) The simple layout is i) traditional, and ii) easy on the eye.

e) People keep coming back after years of absence, and they wouldn't be able to find us.

And f) We're just too stubborn to give up on this place, especially given the weight of tradition behind it now.

Ooh, a story! Someone's linked me to something called C*l*br**n, and now they're all sniggering ...
Whoever gave you that link ought not to have. In the PPC we label some stories Legendary Badfic. These are invariably NSFB and highly disturbing. Some Boarders occasionally think it amusing to give links to these stories to newbies and then watch the emotional fallout. Don't be tempted, and don't read until you've hung around for a month or so and learnt a bit more about why we label things Legendary.

Hey, everyone's RPing! Can I join in?
If you have Permission, then jump in with right good will! If you don't have Permission, don't fret. You may participate with any Agent characters you've been thinking up; don't bung up an RP thread with OOC posts asking to be allowed to play. However, having participated in an RP thread does not mean you automatically have Permission, and you must still ask for that separately.

What's a Plover?
It's a type of wading bird. They're cute, and unless you happen to have recently moved yourself and your computer into their native habitat, and are being surrounded by dozens of the small birds, the reason you're asking is because you were probably given one by Tawaki in your introduction thread. They belong to the family Charadriidae, if that's any help, and generally eat molluscs and things that burrow into sand.

I have a lot of questions that aren't here! What now?
As stated above, you're welcome to ask them on the Board. But for the love of cheese, don't flood the board! Every topic posted pushes another off, so if you have several questions, ask them all at once! In one post.