User:Toopurple

TooPurple was known as zdimensia and Bramandin.

In May of 2014, TooPurple joined the board as zdimensia. After a month, she asked for permission, and that's where things started to go wrong. She didn't know that she was autistic at the time. Her lack of communication skills, both in understanding and making herself understood, caused a protracted string of drama.

In June of 2014, zdimensia asked for permission; not intending to get it, but just looking for feedback, so her request was incomplete. In the beginning of July, instructions for how to find a beta were added, but by then zdimensia had gotten confused and thought she needed permission before getting a beta.

The most damning exchange:

Any attempts to discuss the problem failed. zdimensia began writing without permission. To her, writing anything down instead of trying to keep it straight in her head was breaking the rules. (Not writing anything down was causing problems with the flow of new ideas, including being able to go through the permission process.) Across the huge gray area between writing things down without the intent to publish and writing complete missions with intent to publish, she produced a few almost-ready-for-beta missions. The board viewed this as.

Because zdimensia had trouble understanding the smatterings of advice that she did get, trying to follow that advice painted her into a bad corner. Also through bad luck, zdimensia seemed drawn to details of the PPC expanded canon that were not recognized as typical. It resulted in the PG thinking she had no concept of what the PPC was about, despite how zdimensia had read on average at least 2-3 unique missions or more per day over two months. The further result was that she wouldn't trust the wiki and started asking too many questions.

The permission instructions were also confusing at the time, though attempts have been made to improve them. It resulted in her full permission attempt not making it to the board at first because of organization issues, and the PG's own lack of attention to detail resulted in mis-describing the error. Both sides got frustrated.

Every attempt to explain why she was breaking the rules were not understood. Even though she was trying to work with the permission process the best she could, zdimensia was viewed as flaunting it. There became a pattern where the board would say stop, zdimensia would give an argument (that if acknowledged, would have gotten her to stop,) but instead zdimensia only saw responses where the boarder would exasperatedly complain about how she wouldn't follow [bad and painful] instructions. Because she felt not-listened to, she was compelled to not-listen.

Eventually because of the constant perceived belittlement on the Board, zdimensia connected it with her real-life problem of getting scowled-at on the streets. (A later refinement of her confirmation bias led to only most of the "scowlers" being people opposite her skin color, and that it rarely if at all happened when she left her city.) She started angsting over her guilty feelings of being "racist" (as if it was a red "R" that floated over her head and made people who cared scowl at her...) which really gave the wrong impression. {Seriously people, how can you equate guilt about noticing that people look different than you with intentional dehumanizing?}

{I was aware that in Gary, I was allowed to walk the streets by the blessings of their tolerance. I was allowed to use the colored bathrooms out of necessity. They would not have received the same mercy a half-hour-drive South.

There were two junior highs, though they have since been divided into 5-6 and 7-8; there was only a clique of black girls in my junior high but I didn't share any classes with them. I made friends with the black girl (though geologically displaced because of family wealth) in writer's club... though after many adventures her parents isolated her for drug use. (She was the bad influence on me, I was just the girl who was gifted a car and didn't see anything wrong with passenger drug-use.) }

The myth of the lynch-happy zdimensia was so strong that by the time she put cultural appropriation in a character, (without knowing that cultural appropriation was bad,) everyone assumed the worst. Also, every time she had tried to apologize before this, zdimensia felt attacked, and didn't want to invite another round.

"As a consequence of all these factors, your statement that '[Kim] she hates Nazis slightly more than what is socially necessary' reads, to me, as 'I don't believe hating Nazis has any foundation, but sigh, it's socially necessary to pretend to do so'. Which would be an incredibly racist attitude to express."

zdimensia was too demoralized to argue.

Hi! This is my userpage, which would be really spiffy if I put some stuff about myself here! I should fill in the User infobox, the template for which I can get right here, especially if my username is not the same as my name on the Board. Before I start editing, though, I'll check out the Editing Tutorial, which contains some important information about PPC Wiki's etiquette and style. Yay!