Laura (Sue)

(If you are looking for the agent, see Laura Dukes.)

laura was a Lord of the Rings Mary Sue - the infamous star of Legolas by laura.

Character History
She was found by Legolas as a baby and adopted by Thranduil and the Queen as Legolas's sister. She is randomly kidnapped by orcs who "bet" her half to death and leave her for Sauron to "injet" her with poison. Legolas shows up with Gandalf and "Strider" (and Strdier) to save her and Gandalf kills Sauron somehow. After all this nonsense, Legolas proclaims his love for laura, despite her being ten years old and his adopted sister or possibly daughter.

Charges
Laura was charged with "distorting the characters of Legolas, Thranduil, Gandalf, Aragorn and Sauron, rampant abuse of the English language, using uncanonical names, lack of pacing, making Legolas sound like an idiot, giving Legolas a castle, accelerated aging, treating Legolas like a personal slave, stupid clothing, creating the mini-Balrogs Mondor, Strdier and Milkwood, causing orcs to perform pointless activities, giving Sauron multiple personalities, complete lack of punctuation, lack of respect for the dangers of Mirkwood, complete lack of logic, causing Aragorn to apparently forget Arwen, bringing tea into Mirkwood, almost killing a PPC Agent, nearly creating a canon rift, giving Mirkwood stupid guards, or possibly gards, making Legolas act like an idiot, massive geographical compression, making orcs obey a 'Sue's commands, giving Sauron asbestos armour, making Sauron stupid, tying chains in knots, causing orcs to commit utterly weird acts, severely annoying PPC agents and being an utter Mary-Sue."

Character Demise
Agents Dafydd and Selene tied her between two trees that should have been 200 miles apart but, thanks to laura's awful geography, were right next to each other. Simply knocking her out caused the stretched-to-the-limit canon to rubberband back into place, reducing laura to a 200-mile long smear of blood.