Matthew Welch

Matthew Welch is an agent in the Department of Mary Sues

He is written by Mattman The Comet

History
Matthew Welch hails from a Midwest University town in World One, specifically Cedar Falls, Iowa. Being raised in a Catholic family, Matthew never really saw a need to be particularly antagonizing towards those around him.

Matthew generally found himself devouring many a good book in his elementary years, which is where his love of Rick Riordan’s works comes from. He would eventually start spending a lot of his time on the Internet, which in turn led to his fascination with Toku series like Kamen Rider and Super Sentai. This also led him to TV Tropes, which he can confirm ruins both your life and your vocabulary.

After his graduation from high school, Matthew decided to attend the local University of Northern Iowa, the same place his parents studied at, as a Video Game Design major.

When Christmas of 2014 rolled around, Matthew had a choice between walking back to his parents’ house from the dorms (which would take up to 40 minutes) or driving back, which would take about five minutes. He decided to walk, since he needed the exercise anyway.

Five minutes into his walk, he found himself caught in a freak blizzard and completely lost the path. He decided to head for the nearest light he saw, assuming it was a Narnia-style lamppost in a clearing. Once the blizzard died down, however, he noticed that he was inside a building he’d never seen before, and nowhere near Cedar Falls. The blizzard had somehow spawned a plothole directly to HQ.

What happened next was a blur, but we can assume the usual meet Marquis de Sod and join a Department  stuff. And so he eventually found himself in his own little cubby hole in the DI, where he spent the next year providing his service.

Matthew has a severe case ADHD; reading about how Sues screw over his favorite characters while he’s helpless in the strangest office in the multiverse doesn’t help much. He now wishes to transfer, lest he go insane...

Personality
Matthew tries to be a really good person. While he is generally successful, his own personal definition of kidding means that he might sound like an asshole. He would like to assure everyone that he is, in fact, not one.

Matthew is a literal and figurative large ham (sadly, the character art can’t display his size). He is completely fine with this aspect of his appearance, and knows how to use it towards his advantage. The figurative aspect of it might come from his being a Cancer.

Matthew has a slight case of type-B Tsundere. While he is usually very friendly and outgoing, there are times when he’s just abrasive. For example, if someone decided that they want to be friends with him, and do so aggressively, that would put him into his Tsun mode. Alternatively if a Sue were to set off a Berserk Button (Child Abuse, trivialisation of rape or mass murder) one would face an extremely different side of him: violent and unrelenting rage. Friends who experience him in this state would say that they are amazed that this is the same person who would laugh at just about anything.

Even though Matthew defines himself as a comfortable blend between a lover and a fighter, Matthew denies having a LO. Though he would be lying if he said he likes a few of his favorites a little more than others. He also likes cute things. A lot.

He tends to blame a lot of things on his ADHD, particularly his preference for fighting a Sue as opposed to assassinating her straightaway. So far he has maintained a fair amount of restraint in the matter, but if the Sue is bad enough...

Abilities
Matthew is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and has a good amount of footwork for his size, as well as the given power of his weight class, though the speed for dealing these strikes might be a problem. Since hand-to-hand combat isn’t usually feasible against Sues, his main weapon is a six-foot Bo staff, and a set of throwing knives if he needs a pointy object.