Pronoun Problem



The Pronoun Problem is what happens when someone who isn't paying enough attention tries to write about interactions between two or more people of the same gender. Highly detailed action sequences such as sex scenes are particularly vulnerable to inattention, so it's often encountered in bad slash.

It's easy to see how it happens: you get sick of saying (for instance) 'then Draco kissed such-and-such, then Harry touched this thing, and then Draco [CENSORED]', so you naturally want to slip in a few pronouns. The Problem occurs when you lose track of who's the subject and who's the object, i.e., whether you're talking about 'he' or 'him'.

The Pronoun Problem is not exclusive to slash (fight scenes are equally susceptible), and it can occur with any set of pronouns—singular, plural, gendered, and gender-neutral—anytime the same set applies to two or more parties in a scene. When handled particularly badly, the Pronoun Problem can lead to the poor over-stretched canon making both characters do the action simultaneously, never a good sight for an agent with a weak stomach and an inability to suspend disbelief.

How to Avoid the Problem
The simplest way to avoid pronoun confusion is to avoid pronouns. Don't be afraid to use the characters' names. Many writers fear repetitive language, but characters' names tend to become invisible to a reader's repetition radar, just like indispensable common words such as 'the', 'are', 'come', 'did', and so forth. You can still call unwanted attention to them with a stilted style, such as in the example sentence above, but that's easily remedied. Follow basic practices of good writing like varying your sentence structure, and it'll be fine.

When you do use pronouns, double-check to be sure they're working the way you intended them in the sentence. It helps to wait for some time before you re-read your writing so your brain doesn't automatically fill in your expectations and miss the reality.

Be aware that readers automatically assume that actions take place in the order in which they are written, and keep track of where the mind's eye is pointed as you go. Changes need to be signaled clearly. It helps to pause and visualize the actions you're describing so that you know whose hands (and other parts) are occupied with what at any given moment. If you struggle with visualization, try acting it out or using models. This will help prevent you from accidentally making a character kiss her own lips, or something equally impossible.

Finally, get a beta reader. They will help catch any issues that you miss, and you will miss something. No one is perfect! But with a little effort, you'll do better than the fics in the following examples.

Examples of the Problem in Missions
Missions are listed in chronological order according to when they take place on the HQ Standard Timeline, as near as can be determined.


 * 'Jack the Squicker' (Over the Hedge; NSFW), Agents Laburnum and Foxglove (DMS), November 2007
 * The word 'they' is used ambiguously, making it unclear which of two groups is referred to. One of the groups is composed of corpses or should we say decomposed.


 * 'Jungle Fever' (Jurassic Park; NSFW/NSFB), Agents Trojanhorse and Paddlebrains (DBS) with Agent Oscar Henson (DBS - Mpreg), January 2009
 * A Pronoun Problem results in a velociraptor with human lips.


 * '(Look at me) Looking in your eyes' (Star Trek (2009); NSFW), Agents Trojanhorse and Paddlebrains (DBS), May 2009
 * Jim Kirk leans over his own bed while lying on it and looks into his own eyes.


 * 'The Death and Resurrection of Shining Armor' (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic), Agents Marvin Jones and Printworthy (APD - MLP), January 2014
 * One of the charges is 'the confusing use of the word "he" when attempting to describe a battle between two males'.