Department of Bad Slash

One of the first PPC departments, mentioned in the Original Series, the Department of Bad Slash was originally inhabited by the nymphomaniacal Agent Luxury and her partner (in more ways than one), Sean. Since then it has expanded, although not much; Agents employed by the DBS are exposed to mind-numbingly bad romance, erotica and biological aberrations on a daily basis, and consume vast amounts of mind-altering chemicals (see bleeprin) in order to deal with it. Add to this the fact that as slashfiction more often than not does not involve original characters, there is precious little soothing homicide to be had, and it is understandable that Bad Slash is not the most popular beat amongst those drawn to the Canon Protection Initiative. There are currently four Bad Slash agents working in the Lord of the Rings; Agents Sean and Luxury, Agent Tulath and Agent Pablo Dretti. The Harry Potter universe is guarded by Agent Dee and Agent Milask, and Agents Trojanhorse and Soulshadow will work anywhere and on anything of any rating, specialising in NC-17.

Methods
In the Department of Bad Slash, slash authors are assumed to have possessed canon characters acting oddly. Thus the common method for correcting the work is to exorcise the spirit of the author ('author-wraith'). To this end all DBS Agents are equipped with whatever might be the appropriate interpretation of 'bell, book and candle' for their chosen universe. In Arda, for instance, a standard bell and candle are teamed with various volumes of the works of Tolkien. In Harry Potter, the book will be the most apt book of the series. In the event of exorcising the author-wraith from a non-fictional person, the book will be whatever works they are known for; for actors it will be recordings of their films, for musicians, copies of their albums. Exorcisms are usually carried out with the standard 'Avaunt, all ye elementals!' and 'Get thee behind me!' vocabulary, and the phrase 'the power of TOLKIEN compels you!' (or ROWLING, or PIERCE, or SPIELBERG, insert-author-here) is generally used as the coup de grace. Author-wraiths may be captured in jars, but usually they will dissipate and take any geographical aberrations with them. Author-wraiths have been known to communicate with Agents.