Assassination Methods

There are many different ways to kill a Sue, ranging from the classical arrow to the chest, to the more creative method of pitting them against another Sue with a similar description. This is an incomplete list of those methods.

Animorphs

 * Black Hole - Used by Agents Tangara and Tawaki against Forlay


 * The mantle of the Hork-Bajir world - Used by Tangara and Tawaki against Gem Stoned.

Discworld

 * Assassin's Guild receipt - a handy excuse for leaving bodies lying around in Ankh-Morpork, used by Dafydd and Vemi to explain away the corpses of Lascivia Sto-Helit and a Hogfather impersonator.


 * Auditors - employed by Agents Dafydd and Selene to dispose of Al.


 * Elves - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia for removal of Arwen-replacing Sue.

Firebird Trilogy

 * Crystace - Agents Iskillion and Zan beheaded Ky-Wynn Ekiee Kai-Isteea-Calldwell-Bell-Renno-Angelo, after she'd forced Tawaki to turn a dendric striker on himself.

Fullmetal Alchemist

 * Bullet to the head - employed by Agents Salix and Tan. The unlucky victim...I mean, deserving Sue was named Ria.

Gilbert and Sullivan

 * Exploding Canon Analysis Device - Iskillion and Tawaki threw a doomed CAD at Poke-Mon.
 * Seppuku - Iskillion made Shitty-Ping commit seppuku.

Harry Potter

 * Flesh-Eating Slugs - employed by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove against Blaise Zabini Sue.


 * Incendio - employed by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove against Ariana Alexis Azivedo and her parents.


 * Whomping Willow - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to remove a Sue named Serenity.


 * Long Way Down - Agents July and Library portalled Lily Evans' American Half Sister Sue to the Forbidden Forest. Or, to be more precise, a few hundred feet over the Forbidden Forest. With no broom.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

 * The Great Hrung Disaster - Iskillion, Tawaki, and Hul portalled Calca Avis to Betelgeuse 5 just before the Hrung collapsed on it.

Lord of The Rings

 * Axe Agents Achren and Obsidian killed Amy Caduceus with one.


 * Balrog - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to kill Anirana and Hanae.


 * Burning - Agents Jay and Acacia burned down the noncanonical area of woodland in which a Sue named Pangaea was standing. Also used by Agents Dafydd and Selene to remove the noncanonical village of Hasland, along with Amariel Halfelven and Theaden of Lórien.


 * Cracks of Doom - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to kill Alex and Charlie.


 * Crebain - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to dispose of Akasha.


 * Glaurung - the dragon. Used by Agents Jay and Acacia to destroy Elvira Magiseer and Silavren Silvereyes.


 * Guards of Menegroth - used by Dafydd and Selene to kill Daeron.


 * Lightning - Agent Selene's weather-controlling abilities were used to destroy the noncanonical country of Silmador, along with its princess Eledhwen Vanyarda Chúhana.


 * Midgewater - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to get rid of Emma and Kivan Silverblade.


 * Miss Cam and the Elves In Black - of OFUM, employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to deal with Andromielle Zinnia.


 * Moria - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to dispose of Mithril Starlight.


 * Mumakil - used by Agents Jay and Rhus to destroy the body of Candace Van Allen.


 * Old Man Willow - Agents Mara and Isaiah released Kasey, Samantha, Shandell, Keira. Allyson and Rachel into the Old Forest, where the trees conspired to herd them down to Old Man Willow, who lured them in with his song and crushed them to death.


 * Orcs - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to dispose of Phoenix.


 * Orthanc - Agents Jay and Acacia threw Alexis Moonbeam off the tower's roof.


 * Sacrificed to GreyLadyBast - Evelyn Sue was brought back to HQ after Shadowfax declined the opportunity to kill her for placing a saddle and bridle on him. Agents Mara and Isaiah then allowed her to be used in the initiation of Agent Miiro.


 * Sea - used by Agents Jay and Acacia for bulk disposal of Deminica and her eight co-Sues (Arond, Mianatis, Galami, Shirlia, Carenada, Adromeda, Lanalei and Kylina).


 * Shelob - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to kill Gwendolyn Elizabeth Huntington.


 * Smaug - employed by Agents Fireblade, Keitaro, and Kali against Honesah Hoononee Keemo.


 * Warg disguises - Employed by Jaster, Threnody, and Harmony against Honesah.


 * Watcher in the Water - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to dispose of Laurel.


 * Witch-king - employed by Agents Dafydd and Selene to kill Sairalindë. Apparently the Witch-king did not recognise her as his daughter, despite her claims to this status.

Mossflower

 * Adder triplets - employed by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove against Kurda Sue.


 * Asmodeus - employed by Agents Rena and Shay to kill Psilophyta Magnoliopsida.


 * Canon Catapult - used by Agents Mara and Isaiah to purge Sampetra of the influence of Rinj. It didn't kill her, but it did turn her into a normal corsair rat rather than a Sue (eg "ugly, craven and stupid"). Also used by Laburnum and Foxglove for bulk killing of a noncanonical vermin horde.


 * Salamandastron - employed by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove to dispose of Cregga Sue and Bladestripe. This may sound odd until one considers that Salamandastron is an extinct volcano, and therefore if one portals back in time far enough, at some point it must have been active ...


 * Skrabblag - employed by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove against Mariel Sue.


 * Teeth of the Deeps - employed by Agents Naomi and Drake to dispose of Fernflower.


 * Yo Karr - employed by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove for bulk disposal of Katie, David, Jessica Jenks, Jessica Clark, Jane, Heather, Chris and Logan (also known as Tigerlily, Aggron, Crystallyn, Jane, Yeather, Dixon and Tollaw - or possibly Tallow, it changed at random moments).

Myst

 * Selenitic Mazerunner - Agents Hammertong and Tangara ran The Stranger's sister over with the Mazerunner.


 * Spire's atmosphere - Hammertong and Tangara weighted Barm's body to increase his terminal velocity and pushed him off Spire.


 * Wahrk - Employed by Hammertong and Tangara against Rheim son of Sirrus.


 * Ymur - Hammertong and Tangara gave Evil!Yeesha to Ymur, who hated all Ronay with a passion.

Narnia

 * Deathwater Island - employed by Agents Nick and Tawaki to kill Andrantiel.


 * The Deplorable Word - After Nick was incapacitated, Tawaki portalled Erik Servint to Charn just before Jadis destroyed it.


 * Flames - Employed by Nick and Tawaki against Narnia Evenshire.


 * The ice plains that remained of the world Agents Nick and Tawaki took Elizabeth Bennet to the ice plain.


 * Sword - Employed by Nick and Tawaki against Toulouse, the Talking Cat Stu. Nick stabbed him in the heart (nine times, to be on the safe side).


 * The Tisroc - Nick and Tawaki took Felicity Brown to Calormen, where she mouthed off to the Tisroc.

Naruto

 * Shredded by Agent Drake - Agent Drake is an anthropomorphic fox, who took the vulpine characteristics of Uchiha Foxx as a personal attack and fought her to the death while both were in full-fox form. Not much was left of her at the end.

Peanuts

 * Cruise missiles - Employed by Agents Tadkeeta and Tawaki against the Canon Sues and Stus of WhereverthefuckthePeanutsliveat Town.

Pirates of the Caribbean

 * Burned to death - Ashlee met her painful demise when one of her own compatriots swung a burning torch too close to her tarred and feathered body.


 * Challenger Deep - the deepest point of the Marianas Trench. Agents Jira and SchmuckLeigh threw a weighted-down Salina Marie Doubou (aka Salina Rose) into it.


 * Drowning - Agents Mara and Isaiah allowed Bo'sun to punch Lauren Sue over the side of the Pearl. The broken/cracked ribs caused by the punch ensured that she didn't stay above water for too long.


 * Given to Agent Shmuckleigh - Agents Mara and Isaiah gave Shay Leigh Turner to Agent Shmuckleigh, who happily disposed of the Sue that dared steal her name.


 * Hanging - used by Agent Isaiah to kill Crystallina Sparrow.


 * Port Royal citizens - Tiernan, James, Phil and Amanda were tarred and feathered and set loose in Port Royal where the citizens dealt with them for proclaiming, rather loudly, that they were pirates.


 * Punctuation Shower - Maggie Sue was sentenced to be used as a shield by Agent Mara during a downpour of all the punctuation that had been missed out by her Suethor creator.

Star Trek

 * Lirpa - Tawaki killed Aeryn with a lirpa.

Star Wars

 * Blorash Jelly - Intern Hul destroyed OOP-937 with blorash jelly.

The Matrix

 * Squiddies - Agents Achren and Obsidian left Shadow on the Nebuchadnezzar just before its destruction.

Watership Down

 * A hawk's beak - Tawaki, disguised as a hawk, mangled Bunny as the fic was being deleted.

Miscellaneous Other

 * Agent Luxury - employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to dispose of the corpses of Aislinn the unicorn and Link. Best not to ask what she does with them.


 * Flames - the PPC-verse version of flame emails, which actually are literal flames. Employed by Agents Jay and Acacia to kill Ariuella Shadowfox.


 * Geographical expansion - Agents Dafydd and Selene were forced to take on "legolas by laura", in which Mordor is suddenly two hundred yards away from Mirkwood. They fixed this by tying the Sue's arms to a rock in Mordor and her legs to a tree in Mirkwood, then knocking her out, allowing the canonical distance to snap back.


 * Hobbers - worshippers of the rat god Hobb in Robin Jarvis' 'Deptford Mice' books, known for skinning sacrificial victims alive in a process known as the "bloodybones". Used by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove to kill Mariel Sue.


 * Redneck Trees - of Randal K Milholland's webcomic "Something Positive", employed by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove (Stormsong and Skyfire were present, but deny all responsibility) to kill two Pointless Rapist Bit-Characters by the names of Raketooth and Crabclaw from a Redwall fic.


 * The Jaunt - from a Stephen King short story, used by Agents Laburnum and Foxglove to remove a Lisa Simpson Sue. Evidence suggests the Jaunt disassembles the body on a molecular level while leaving the brain alive to experience an apparent eternity with no outside input, which generally annihilates the sanity. If set to Nil, the body is not reassembled at the other end, thus making it a perfect body disposal system.


 * "Trampled to death by a rabid Led Zeppelin audience" - employed by Agent Trojanhorse to dispose of Kasia and Elleelen.