With a Side of Chips and a Soda

 "Dam fukers I has no guns!"

Bob was a repeat-offender Marty Stu from the Left 4 Dead universe. He is better known as Sandwich!Stu due to a mishap with the Words in his story of origin. Said mishap resulted in Bob turning into a man-sized walking sandwich for the entirety of the fic. Despite being killed in his story of origin, Bob was able to return in a sequel, albeit in a non-sandwich form.

Character History
Bob was a sandwich vendor before the Green Flu infection became wide-spread. He was an expert in hand-to-hand combat and former 'soljur' who apparently served during World War II. When the infected begin to attack everyone, Bob raided a weapons store so as to better defend himself from them. During his fight for survival, he was able to rescue a nameless woman who ended up serving very little purpose in the overall plot.

In the sequel, Bob was forced to fight against three separate factions: the armed forces, who were trying to cover up the infected; his father, who wanted to use the infected to wipe humanity off of the face of the earth, and the infected, natch. He was able to do this in part thanks to a 'prototip' weapon that fired nuclear bombs.

Charges
In the original story, Bob was charged with "deliberately poor writing, wanton cruelty to punctuation, violation of the laws of physics, violating the laws of chemistry, violating the laws of biology, being ridiculously over-powered, misusing Hammerspace, creating minis, abuse of the word ‘chopper,’ annoying PPC agents, and being an abomination against nature due to being a sandwich that walks like a man."

In the sequel, Bob was charged with "being a Marty Stu, intensive cruelty to the English language, abusing the capslock, misconstruing the nature of the Infected, ignoring wounds that would be otherwise be lethal, being part robot, coming back from the dead, violating the laws of physics, bad logic, creating minis, being speshul, and annoying PPC agents."

Character Demise
Agents Danny and Laura were responsible for eliminating Bob on both occasions. Danny shot his Sandwich!Stu-form several times with a shotgun at point-blank range before throwing the body from a helicopter. In the sequel, Danny pinned Bob to the side of a building with a van. This did not kill the Stu outright, but it did allow Laura time to decapitate him with a machete.