Unclaimed Badfic

This is a list of all unclaimed badfic that has either been reported to the Board or has been posted here by disgusted agents/boarders/random people. If you are a random person, feel free to pop over to the Board to join in the discussion there. (Make sure to introduce yourself!)

To add to this list, for the sanity of everyone here (what is left of it anyway), please make sure to:
 * Place your badfic in alphabetical order in the appropriate category, which would be the fandom that it comes from unless it is a crossover, in which case put it in Crossovers and note which fandoms are crossed. (Note that The, A, and An don't count for alphabetical order.)
 * Make sure to include a link to the fic in question, and put the rating and date of addition to the list next to the fic title.
 * Also make sure to include the summary under the title, and as much it it may gall you to leave drivel here, please refrain from editing any spelling and grammar mistakes in the summary, because such mistakes amuse us.

If you wish to claim a fic from this list:
 * Move it to the list of claimed badfic, complete with rating, link, and summary, and add your name to it.
 * Make sure to delete it completely from this list, including the category if there are no other badfics in said category (this keeps things neater).
 * It would probably also be wise to announce your claim on the Board, so everyone knows what you are letting yourself in for.

To keep this list tidy, please alphabetize and date entries. Badfic that has been on the list for more than 18 months should be removed, since it is unlikely anyone will claim it if they haven't already.

LAST CLEANUP: eatpraylove, 09:41 (EST), January 15, 2015

Crossovers

 * "Advanced Wizardry" - T rated - Harry Potter x Young Wizards. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * CROSSOVER Nita and her fellow Young Wizard, Kit, do a transport spell horribly wrong and they wind up at Hogwarts castle at the time of the Marauders.
 * They're taken into Hogwarts as fifth-years, despite the face that they don't even have wands, let alone know all the things that first- through fourth-years know.


 * "Alien Companion" - Not rated, should really be M - Aliens x A Whole Bunch of Other Random Things x World 1?? - 02 Aug, 2014 - NSFW, NSFB - Link leads to a spork
 * Lessee here. Terrible slash, godawful pacing, some soapboxing, and incomprehensible invocations of the letter 'm'.... Not really sure where to put this since it's basically Xenomorphs in 21st-century New York, but there's also a bunch of crossover cameos (cameo crossovers?) with random games the author finds appealing. I could see an Intel mission being required just to figure out what to do with it.


 * "The Changes of the Mind" - T rated - Lord of the Rings x Harry Potter x xXxholic.
 * Disappointed with her own kind, Elessi asks the Dimension Witch for a chance to start a new life and ends up in a world that is unlikely as her own.


 * "Cyberchase and Pokemon" - Cyberchase x Pokémon - K+ rated. February 14, 2014.
 * The story takes place in pokemon world where hacker finds another world to conquer. He doesn't know there are creatures call pokemon. The cybersquad finds out that hes about to conquer another world and make haste to stop him.
 * This story features centered text, a literal plothole, uncanonical technology, and two minis, "Innez" and "Mewoth"; the former an opportunity to create a new mini species.


 * "Demonic Heralds"- T rated - Mercedes Lackey-verse x Kyo Kara Maou! Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * It was just another day in the great demon kingdom when two white horses showed up and turned the lives of 2 half-breeds upside down. Heralds/Kyo kara Maou x over. rating will go up in later chapers. Conrad/Yozak full summery inside.


 * "Fifty Shades of Ice" - M rated - Frozen x Fifty Shades of Grey
 * Elsa Grey and Anna Steele couldn't be more different. Elsa is worth billions, Anna is beginning college. Elsa controls the elements of winter, Anna reads and writes. And when the two get tangled in each other's web, fireworks go off. But Elsa has a much darker side to her than anyone d when Anna finds herself in Elsa's dark world, she quickly learns the art of submission
 * Femslash retelling of Fifty Shades using Frozen characters. From the same author as "The Girl With The Snowflake Tattoo".


 * "Furies of Panem" - T rated - Codex Alera x The Hunger Games. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Gale/Katniss, no pairing for the main character, Desiderius. A Codex Alera Hunger Games xover. Desiderius competes, loses a friend, and leads a rebellion...
 * Gross mischaracterization of a canon character within the first two paragraphs. Thankfully short.


 * "The Girl With The Snowflake Tattoo" - M rated - Frozen x The Millennium Trilogy
 * Inspired by Stieg Larsson. When young writer Anna Westerguard is contacted from the blue about a cold case in the Southern Isles she reluctantly takes on the case. But as she keeps hitting a wall, she finds herself toe to toe with Elsa Drage, a strong, young girl who will do anything to help Anna end it all Rated M: Strong Graphic Violence, Disturbing Images Including Torture/Sex
 * It's not got any the Graphic Violence or Disturbing Images yet, although the whole concept is disturbing enough. From the same author as "Fifty Shades of Ice".


 * "Harry Gamer (Revamp)" - T rated - Harry Potter x Log Horizon x a whole bunch of other things.
 * Harry goes otaku and plays Elder Tales.
 * Desdendelle's note: Silly reason why Harry's suddenly living in the muggle world again, bad SPaG, a mishmash of canons without any reasons (seriously: Harry Potter, Log Horizon, Fate/stay night, Teen Titans, Pokemon, Warcraft, Naruto, Hunter x Hunter and Spongebob, possibly more), Sturry upstaging Log Horizon's protag and stealing his lines, Sturry being OP, etc.


 * "Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy Truth or Dare" - T rated - Kingdom Hearts x Final Fantasy. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * A bunch of KH and FF characters forced against their own will to do what YOU want them to! 8D
 * This fic is HORRIBLE. It hurts to see the Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy characters be subjected to this.


 * "Magic by the Starlight" - T rated (should probably be M for language and Drarry scenes, especially in later chapters) - Harry Potter x Star Trek: The Original Series.
 * A tale of a tragically lonely girl who transfers to Hogwarts and changes everything. It's really good you guys plz read!
 * Tawaki's comment: Textbook. Ab-so-lute-ly textbook.
 * DawnFire's note: The language is awful. The Sue is evil in an overblown manner, and is put in Hufflepuff by the Hat for no discernible reason. The Hat itself&mdash;I can't even. Gratuitous Drarry. An overly-Scottish Scotty who says 'aye' far too often and is, of all things, the DADA teacher. Also, an absolutely enormous number of AVPM/AVPS references. May be a "My Immortal" parody, too.
 * DawnFire again: After reading the two new chapters, I'm almost 100% positive that it's a parody. It's too intelligently written to be real. It's deliberately bad, references fanfic tropes, and seems to be going through a checklist of badfic traits. Also, if you look at the profile, the SPaG is perfect. That combined with a screenname containing the words 'bloody tears'... well, if it's not a parody/trollfic I'll eat my hat, that's all I'm saying.


 * "Metroid: the Gensokyo Project" - T rated - Metroid x Touhou. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Gensokyo in the future is a desolate wasteland plagued by the evil of Phazon. Samus, a team of Federation marines, and a small science team do not know what evil lurks in the once beautiful land of Gensokyo. Neither do its inhabitants.


 * "Neutral Countries Can't Fight Dark Lords" - K+ rated - Hetalia x Harry Potter. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * In 6th year at Hogwarts Harry starts to act rather...differently. His anger is now Chopin not Capslock. With Hermione and Malfoy acting up too, what's going to happen? Features Austria, Prussia &amp; Hungary so far. References pairings.
 * Some of the Harry Potter canons... are possessed by the Hetalia canons. What. The. Heck. Not to mention Russia/Neville and Voldemort become buddies over their problems with women. As if.


 * "Perry and Victora meet Victor and Anita" - K rated - Phineas and Ferb x The Secret Show. December 23, 2014.
 * When Doofenshmirtz teams up With Doctor Doctor U.Z.Z, and Perry and Victoria are forced to team up. But Monogram hasn't told them that they are animals. How will Victor and Anita react? An will the job get done?


 * "Poetic Orgy" - M rated - NSFW - The Lion King x Balto, some others.
 * Various animal characters have sex.


 * "Secrets of the Void" - T rated - Warframe x Mass Effect. Added January 31st, 2015.
 * The Void: A strange, twisted place where logic as we know it fails us. Some say that it is a dimension of its own, while others believe it is the space between universes. Me? All I know is that I'm shoved into another universe with no way back, a universe which, until now, I only believed to be fiction. SI, my first non-first contact fic. Rating subject to change. T for blood.
 * Des' note: "Well. Classic "SI falls into canon X". Immediately gets ultra speshul by somehow becoming a Low Guardian and taking control of the Technocyte Plague (which are, uncanonically, the same thing or something), which means bye-bye conflict of Warframe. Probably an OP Stu. I've no idea what this... abomination... does to the ME-verse because I've only read a few paragraphs from the first chapter."


 * "Shin Megami Tensei: Persona RWBY" - T rated - Persona x RWBY
 * After the Events of Persona 4, Yu Narukami and the rest of the Investigation Team attends a prestigious Academy under a Culture Exchange Program, where a new threat looms, foes of old returns and new allies to fight with. Will they all get to the bottom of this? P4 normal ending and Alternate Universe (AU) whereas some Persona Users are Faunus. Specific pairings in mind...
 * It could be an AU, but I think that how the author mixed up Japan and Remnant would warrant an explanation, something that he acknowledged himself in later chapters. The formatting can be really horrid, with obnoxious musical titles and lyrics underlined in the narration and some tense shifts. First original Persona is based upon a video game character, because who cares about mythology? The author is also asking advices for things he should have prepared before the writing, like potential Arcanas for RWBY characters. What a waste.


 * "the shock of a lifetime" - T rated - Inheritance Cycle x Primeval x Doctor Who x Superman x (possibly) Twilight x a children's TV show the authors can't remember the name of. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * It was a normal day for Lana, Evie, Scoble, Megan and Caitlain. But that all changed when an anomaly opened in there class room and Murtagh, hansom and ever, jumped out and pulled them back through to his home world, Alegasia. after book 3 in 2 POV's.
 * Actually Megan and Caitlain don't go to Alagaesia until chapter ten, when they just turn up. Plus there are about four humans in the entire story: Evie, Galbatorix, Eragon and Murtagh. Connor, Abby and Becker are also randomly in Alagaesia, but none of them are human. At one point it swaps from third to first person halfway through a sentence.


 * Topaz Space Vampire Monkeys From Space - T rated - Twilight x Godzilla x Kingdom Hearts x Every random cannon the author could think of. June 23, 2015
 * its teh best evar
 * Yes, the author is obviously a troll, but let's not dwell on that. At the beginning they're talking about sacrificing babies, then Godzilla appears out of no where when suddenly BAM Sora fighting something. It's a mess and just needs to be taken care of.
 * Some more advice, make sure you are adaptable. There are so many unexplained crossovers in here the author might as well have been re-imagining The Ultimate Showdown. Just... be prepared for absolutely nothing to make sense.

Black Butler

 * "I love you" - T rated. December 6, 2014.
 * 'But it's too late. I've lost you forever, along with my heart. I should have told you the first day you confessed to me, how I felt.' Better than summary. Three chapters and now complete, enjoy, and warning, you may want tissues for the first two chapters ;)
 * eatpraylove's note: ...I'm so confused. The punctuation is wonky, the timeline's nonexistent, and who's the author shipping Ciel with? (Based on her other stories, probably Sebastian, but still.)

Hetalia

 * "All of Freedoms Horses" - K rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * "why did papa want me" little liberty looked up"because your something worth fighting for" parental usuk and grandpa england/oc...my oc is liberty


 * "The Beginnings of love" - M rated, but nowhere near that. December 8, 2014.
 * Kiku Honda or as Japan as he was known to you that night Belarus dragged you to the world conference to get to Russia captures your heart. Love sprouts and in more ways than one. Rated M for later chapters. Reader X Japan
 * Holy Roman Empire, this story is stupid. The plot setup is stupid, the lack of punctuation is stupid, Belarus and Japan at least are OOC (seriously, a restraining order scaring Belarus away from Russia?), and...just ugh. At least it's only one chapter. 


 * "Brothers of Asia" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * All the countries have gathered in Hong Kong for a UN summit, but once they all leave little do they know that in the shadows new enemies move to destroy the world we know starting with asia. Ch. 1 altered
 * Originally "Brothers of Aisa." The OOCness of the canons and ridiculousness of the entire story is tremendous. Several of the chapters consist mostly of horribly drawn out fight scenes.


 * "Everything i ask for" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Denmark and Norway are living in a fairytale life, all Denmark wants is for Norway to put on that ring. Their relasionship is put to the test when Norway reveals a shocking secret that will change thier lives forever. MPreg warning!
 * It only took the first two chapters to show that Norway was completely OOC. Every other character is also out of character, and I actually banged my head against my desk/wall while reading this due to sheer stupidity. Safe for Work, but your head/brain may ache afterwards, especially if you know and/or like this continuum.

Monster Musume

 * "Everyday Lunch for Monster Girls" - M Rated, Bleepfic. NSFW/NSFB. Returned from Claimed 1 Dec, 2015.
 * Kurusu Kimihito finds that sex isn't the ONLY thing his Liminal tenants crave... [vore, crackish]
 * Voyd's notes: That... just about sums it up. Half-assed explanation/justification for hard vore (which my IRL best friend describes as something that "nobody SHOULD be into"), and it descends into outright fetishized torture. ARGH MY BRAIN!

Naruto

 * "Destiny's Calling" - K+ rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Naruto shippuden- Lady Tsunade had a daughter but because she is so powerful she was kept hidden until one day the Akatsuki find her. Will team Kakashi be able to save her in time or will the Akatsuki take her for their own purposes. Gaara/OC. Please review!
 * Tsunade has a daughter who has the super speshul Bloodline Limit that allows her to see the future, so is secretly taken care of by Tsunade's mother. The Sue is also Kakashi's cousin via her father, which is impossible due to Tsunade never actually having any relationship with anyone after Dan's death, and because Sakumo probably didn't have any siblings.


 * "My lover, the spy" - M rated - probably NSFW, definitely NSFB. January 29, 2015
 * Sometimes we keep secretes to keep the people we love safe but sometime you do it because your scared of them."Sakura honey can you phone back I am in the middle of something"he said whiles he shoots the guy in the head "Gaara don't you think about cutting me off your going to my mother for lunch and why is there banging noises are you cheating on me mister" he cringed at her tone
 * eatpraylove's note: Oh gods. I...I don't...everything about this is wrong, wrong, wrong! 


 * "Naruto Veangance Revelaitons" - M rated - EXTREMELY NSFW and NSFB
 * This may be a trollfic, but the author did WAY too good of a job making it bad. A jerkass Gary Stu, disgustingly sexual, extreme OOCness, and complete and utter obliteration of the English language, this one is very painful.
 * Nine Months In Hell - T rated
 * I LIKE PIE! oh sorry ummm. hmmm. read the story and find out. Warnings: MPREG YAOI stupidity major OOCness
 * *sighs* Well... At least the author told us it was going to be OOC. There are seven chapters in total, the last one an announcement about a change of website. It is highly likely that there are three other chapters on that site.
 * To anyone finding this you may change the link if the full story is on LiveJournal. Unfortunately I cannot reach it and so the link is for fanfiction.net.


 * "SexyNoJutsu Gone Wrong" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * What if the guys (Gaara, Naruto, Kankurno, Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Lee) try the sexy-no-jutsu but there is one problem they can't turn back! Only Kakashi and Tsunade know so what happens when they are given tour guides for their stay. Or that's the story until a cure is found. Pairings: GaaSaku NaruHina KanIno NejiTen ShikaTem
 * 27 chapters, including three that are only author's notes and one titled "HaHa This Chapter Is Nameless". Bad characterization, a thin excuse for gender swapping (they have Lee doing the jutsu! The one character who can't do anything that requires chakra use!), an implausible plot (I doubt any of the characters besides Naruto would ever use that jutsu), painful grammar and spelling. For god's sake, bring all the Bleeprin you can get your hands on; there's recaps at the beginning of every chapter, and a lot of it is rapid-paced conversation with frequent scene-changes.
 * You know what boggles my mind about this fic? It got 320 reviews on the Pit. The vast majority are positive; not even concrit, just "ur such a good writter and i love ur stories please update soon! :)" and the like. Not NSFB by any means, but frustratingly, stupidly, facepalmingly bad to such an extent that it's occasionally funny.

Neon Genesis Evangelion

 * "Ikari Unleashed" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Im back from the dead witth an ooc charecter Shinji as well. What will happen with a adamantium spined Shinji!
 * As depressingly bad as you'd expect from the summary. The OOC isn't limited to Shinji, and the way OOC!Shinji acts is almost as appalling as the fact the author clearly intends for him to be a sympathetic protagonist.

Pretty Cure

 * "Suite PreCure Meet the Dream Traveler" - K rated (though actually more like T).
 * A young ninja, Blaze, came from his faraway home in search for his younger sister. As he arrived in Kanon Town, he is greeted by Hibiki and Kanade aka Cure Melody and Cure Rhythm. When the evil emerges, Blaze joined the PreCures to fight the Negatones and Trio the Minor as part of the Dream Traveler's code. This is his story. Blaze is an OC
 * Translation: In a retelling of Suite Pretty Cure, a sociopathic Gary-Stu shoves his way onto the Pretty Cure team, steals moments of awesomeness from the canon characters, bullies and beats up villains (even brainwashed ones) and enters a relationship with someone who's underage. Has several sequels. Warning: Author is very hostile.

Sword Art Online

 * "Sword Art Online: Alex's Adventure" - T rated.
 * This story follows the main storyline of Sword Art (until the 75th floor) but it follows my OC's adventure and travels throughout the land of Aincrad as he makes new friends and new enemies. My story has some thing the light novel/anime do not, if you don't like the changes, don't review and stop reading. New branched off story: Sword Art Online: Alex's Adventure-Original Path
 * Desdendelle's note: Sigh. Bad SPaG, Copycat-Stu copying Kirito, being OP, etc. Also first person. Ugh.

Yu-Gi-Oh!

 * "Beyond the Void" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * The power of spaghetti. Great enough to create a cross-dimensional portal? Apparently it is. And so we follow the travels of two teenage girls, thrown into a world of magic, shadows, and children's card games...
 * The summary makes it sound a lot more sane than it really is.


 * "If Seto Kaiba Had A Sister" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Yugioh. An excellent, but male dominated show. What it needs, is a super kick-butt chick in there to spruce things up; and that is exactly what I've done.
 * ...Yeah, there are no words for this.


 * "Jaden's Big Sister" - T rated. Returned from the Claimed list at January 31st, 2015.
 * Jaden has made it to duel academy, joining his older sister Aryanna, will thing run smoothly between them, or will things take a turn for the worst? Reviews are appreciated but please, no flaming, helpful reviews only.
 * Jaden's suddenly got an uncanonical, plothole-inducing big sister. There are other OCs, whose cards are stupid invented ones, that sister uses cards not released at the time of the series, and the SPaG is rather bad. This fic also copypastes (and butchers) entire duels from the anime. Ugh.


 * "The YuGiOh Project" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * I kidnap the whole Yu-Gi-Oh cast and hold them hostage at my house for a month. Chaos, hilarity, and OOCness will ensue! #1 in my 'Project' series.
 * Tip: If you want people to read your stuff, don't tell them there's going to be OOCness. The kidnapper is an author insert with a "magic book" that lets her do anything. There are pointless cameos, OCs made by the author insert, and contrivances all around.

Batman

 * "Come Undone (Joker)" - not rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Oh God ok guys.. this is my first try at a joker fan fiction... ugh..well you know what might happen the usual joker stuff lol..lets get this straight. im a hardcore joker fan. i don't like twoface, penguin, riddler, poison ivy, catwoman, clayface..Mr. Freeze or other villians...well i do like scarecrowman/Dr.Crane. But I will still bring them in some. eh so here we go. ill start with the character bio. i've worked on this for a while so if you don't like it fuck you and deal w/ it!
 * Just plain and simple Melons.

The Avengers (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

 * "My Name is Classified" - T rated.
 * When I was five years old, I met the Winter Soldier for the first time as he wrenched the steering wheel from my dad's hands. It was also the year I had gotten into my first car accident. I was five, I was taught how to shoot a fully automated weapon. Half a decade into my life, I enjoyed seeing a life end at my hand. I was five years old when I figured out that I was a mutant.
 * "Scarlett" - not rated.
 * Scarlett Stark moves back to New York to spend the summer with her father, Tony Stark after finishing boarding school in California. She never dreamed than when she did she would fall in love with the famous Captain America or become part of a SHIELD experiment in order to save her life.
 * If there's a ratings entry on Circle fics, I haven't found it. Based on a preliminary skim, I'm guessing no more than a T.

How to Train Your Dragon

 * "Dragon Claims and Human Change" - rated M - NSFW
 * Hiccup didn't know it, but he's been chosen as a Dragon Mate. The world as he knows it changes, leaving him to decide – does he stay with humans or move on with dragons? Anthro-Toothless x Hiccup, mpreg, COMPLETE


 * "Hitchups" - rated T, should be M - NSFW
 * Hiccup didn't see the point in stopping Astrid as she ran off towards his village—towards his father—with his most desperately protected secret. He was leaving anyway. A coming-of-age tale. Deviates from movie. Borderline bromantic-comedy.
 * Instead of becoming a hero, Hiccup leaves Berk an exile and travels the world with Toothless (who can now talk), meeting several women along the way. Hiccup also receives a magic bow from the god Thor. Everyone is OOC and Hiccup is a bit of a Gary Stu at some points in the story.


 * "The Misadventures of Hiccup and Astrid" - rated M - NSFW
 * Astrid and Hiccup have quite the private life together. Rest of summary inside.
 * No summary inside that I saw. I've seen some weird stuff, but Astrid's "condition" takes the cake.

Pirates of the Caribbean

 * "Life of Sara Gallar" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Story of Sara gallar who doesn't like her present life. She wants some adventure and her big adventure begins when finds herself in a strange ship.DavyOC rated T for now. this story doesn´t follow the movie

Spirited Away

 * "Spirited away 2: Kohaku's Rescue" - M rated, but never actually gets there. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * 6 years have passed since Chihiro has been to the spirit world, but with her new boyfriend she has forgotten all about her childhood love, until her best friend Rini reminds her, but Rini might be the only one to go save him from Yubaba this time. HakuXOC
 * It's in second person, which is annoying, and Rini spews fangirl Japanese for the two chapters she exists. She gets into the spirit world with no problem, Haku is OOC, and... just bleh. ~Something Blue

Star Wars

 * "Once Upon A Star" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * What if Star Wars didn't take place in a Galaxy far far away? What if it was on one world filled with mythical creatures and magic? What would the story be like? Read on to find out. Rated M to be safe.
 * ...I'm pretty sure they're missing the point of Star Wars. Star, as in takes place in space. 


 * "The Springsteen trilogy" - Part 1: M rated - Part 2: G rated - Part 1 is NSFW.
 * "Yavin IV is too big a place for two lonely being who started the night looking for solitude and ended up sitting at the same fire to be anything but a coincidence."
 * I'm told Luke Skywalker/Kyp Durron is potentially squicky.

Transformers

 * "Friends never say goodbye"
 * When two sisters end up in the Transformers world, their world turns upside down. Especially when they have information about Optimus Prime's predecessor Sentinel Prime, which will bring into play lies that the government have told Optimus Prime. It will also put the sisters in danger from the government, forcing Optimus to risk it all to protect their new human friends. 2 shot
 * An earthquake somehow throws the sisters into a universe where no Transformers merchandise exists, and they immediately deduce they're in the Transformers movieverse, as opposed to an AU of World One where Transformers toys/movies/etc. were never created. Oh, and the sisters have a trajeck past, of course.

Treasure Planet

 * "The Cat and the Cabin Boy" - T rated but some NSFW language and concepts. NSFB
 * The most beautiful love story of all time
 * Blatant April 1st trollfic where everyone is OOC. Bring the Bleeprin or a sense of humor.

The Dark Is Rising Sequence

 * "The Family reads the Dark is rising" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * What if one day, a book appeared, with a note telling you and your family to read it. What if it told the story of one of your brothers, with secrets no one knew. Well, the Stanton family is just going to have to read to find out.
 * Takes a potentially interesting premise, at least theoretically interesting — not to my taste, but — and ruins it.


 * "Will Stanton and the Princess of the Balance" - T rated.
 * My mind went blank; no they had to be mistaken… I couldn't be the guard of the balance… I just couldn't be… I was Will Stanton, Sign Seeker and Old One of the light… WillXOC
 * I only managed to get through the first chapter, but even the title screamed Suefic and what I read only confirmed it. A quick peek at the comments alerted me to the fact that, somehow, it becomes a Percy Jackson crossover. I don't even know. Terminate it with extreme prejudice, please.

Discworld

 * "Girl's dresses" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * What would of happened between Susan and Teatime if Banjo hadn't been there to stop him from pulling girl's hair. Warming, it had a mature rating for a reason there is also a clean edit on my page

Dresden Files

 * "COPS-Stormfront" - K rated, but T would be more accurate.
 * A warlock, Hank Mitchell, keeps tampering with time in an effort to unmake Harry Dresden before he can save the world but fate keeps setting Harry back on course. In this story Harry is actually a cop, just like his twin sister.
 * Don't bother looking for this "warlock", he is nowhere to be found in this world where Harry was adopted by the Murphys. Then they are killed, with Harry and Karrin as sole survivors. But events then snap back to some sort of canon, with bad plagiarism, butchering of the plot, bad logic, worst scenes changes ever and the removal of so much significant events from the original Storm Front that the result feel really bland. Oh, and Murphy lets Bob inviting itself in her body because reasons.
 * (Un)fun fact : despite being her so-called favorite, the author NEVER gets Murphy's name right, because Karen is so much better than Karrin.


 * "ReVamp" - K rated, but T would be more accurate.
 * What if Harry was born a vampire but everything else in his life was the same? i tried not to plagiarize but the point is that nothing major has actually been changed in his life. sorry if you feel cheated somehow but i wanted to only tweak one aspect of his life and try to keep everything the same.
 * Logic fail. This so-called tweak, making Harry a White Court Vampire, should have really major consequences. But the author begins with a lame point of divergence in Harry's childhood, and then go through the sixth book, butchering the story with bad logic, bad plagiarism, beige prose, dropping major plot points from later books... you get the idea. Only read the first chapter for now, but it "rewrites" the whole books and the two others chapters seem to be rewritings of the seventh and eighth books. Empty night, why?
 * (Un)fun fact bis : This is the same author that wrote COPS, and they're only the tip of the iceberg.

Harry Potter

 * "Becoming Female" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Who will Harry end up with after turning into a girl! femHarry/Draco Ron AND Pansy bashing Make sure to write lots of reviews for me!
 * Extreme OOCness in everyone, multiple character bashing, extreme stupidity (both in the fic and the characters). Harry is turned into a girl (a Mary Sue described girl no less) by being forced to drink a potion by Snape, or face the wrath of a single point loss from Gryffindor... I could not make this up if I tried. Expect multiple exorcisms or an outright slaughter of a mass of replacements. As a side note, CADs will most likely explode within the first chapter (not that they will be needed to spot it in this).
 * This... this is what happens when a either a troll has grammar without numbers, but still writes a story of complete and utter nonsense. Either that, or this author badly needs to read the books.


 * "imma Wiserd" (rehosted link) - M rated.
 * mi stori ritten by me about me goin 2 hogwarts
 * Very blatantly a troll, but you have to admire his, uh, dedication. Also, heads up for blatant racism, sexism, and every other -ism under the sun.


 * "Ival Pythonica" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * A deadly curse is placed on Megan Malfoy forcing her into sex with Snape and Lupin every day for seven days to save her life. What happens when a man who loves her must share her with one of his longest standing enemies? OFC, F/M, WIP.
 * It's as if the author went down a checklist of Suvian traits...


 * "The Last War" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Harry and Hermione soon find themselves wondering what they ever saw in the Weasleys. But will they finally recognize their love for one another? And what devastating consequences will happen when they do? H/Hr Don't like it? DON'T READ IT.


 * "The Love of Severus Snape" - M rated, NSFW.
 * Cassiopeia Black is the younger sister of Sirius and twin of Regulus. Read about how she becomes friends with Severus Snape and how that changes to the love of his life...and the troubles they must face.
 * Snape falls in love with a horrible Author!Sue. Adult Situations occur.


 * "The Real Us" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Everyone "knows" what happened during Harry's seven years at Hogwarts... right? Er... no. Find out the truth about Harry and Hermione. H/Hr Rating for language and mild sexual situations.
 * Note: Severe godmoding, even more severely underage intimate relations and off-the-scale Weasley-bashing make this fic painful to read, even for this mildly militant Harmonian agent. However, there are aspects that may be salvageable...


 * "Someone To Love Me" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Harry’s twin is chosen as the Boy-Who-Lived and since that night, life’s loveless for him. How very cliché, but one that I like. SLASH. CD/DM/TR/HP Abuse,Neglect and Potter, Weasel bashing. Dont like Dont read. A Vamp!Fic. You have been forewarned.
 * THE WRONGNESS OH THE MASSIVE WRONGNESS! *sob*

The Hobbit

 * "The Angel (Kili Love Story)" - not rated, likely T.
 * Eira lives an ordinary life in Edinburgh, Scotland. One day something terrible happens and she is sent to Middle earth without a clue what is going on or what is happening to her. Or what she is now ...


 * "Heart of Fire" - alternative link - M rated.
 * "I am SMAUG! I kill where I wish and none dare resist! And now, you belong to me!" Smaug stirs beneath Erebor when he hears a heavenly voice and knows he must have such a prize for his own. Trapped in the Dragon's lair, Kathryn, a seer, must survive this deadly creature to escape to freedom. But a vision plagues her, one that connects her to the mighty dragon forever.


 * "Now She Is Gone" - not rated, likely T
 * Firieth is half elf, half dwarf and she is the daughter of an elf Erulissë from Rivendell and a dwarf Frerin from the Lonely Mountain. She has lived beneath the mountain her whole life, but after her father's death, she decides to find her mother and flees away from her dwarf past. Her life gets twisted when she meets a certain royal elf along the way and he awakens Firieth's elven side. Will she be able to find the balance between these two races, which are both a part of her life, or will she fail and forever vander lost in vain? { a Legolas love story }


 * "Of Half-Bloods and Courtings" and its sequel - T rated; M rated. Returned from Claimed January 15, 2015.
 * ​ Bilbo has been sort of rejected by Thorin's supposed life long friend for the courtings and it is up to a half-blood to get Thorin and Bilbo back together before it is too late. Eventually Bagginshield and OC and Nori. I DO NOT OWN THE HOBBIT! ONLY MY OC I OWN! Rating changed to T for cursing later on.
 * Warning: horrible smut and Bagginshield MPreg (and fainting Thorin) in the sequel. Thorin has a fianceé with a name like a Pokémon. Flaming Sue (literally). Gets plus points for snogging Nori instead of the Line of Durin, but that's it. *hiss*

The Lord of the Rings

 * "dangers of the heart" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 17 April, 2014.
 * OK 1st of all can I please, please ask you to read my profile before you review my storys it expains about the spelling no flames please
 * Modern-day lyrics to start each chapter, terrible formatting, rebellious!princess!Sue, immortal Gimli, bizarre consistent spelling mistakes (it's not "Gimli," it's "Glimi"), Legomance (but of course!), run-on sentences, evil!Thranduil and so much more.
 * Pippa's Ghost comments: The author claims to "have Dyslxia" so the spelling and formatting might be forgivable (although she should get a Beta). More bizarrely, she's included Glorfindel and mentions his fight with with the Balrog, so she knows the books, but despite that she still has Aragorn's only child being a daughter who inherits the Choice of the Half-Elven!


 * "The Dark Rider" - T rated. Reported November 4, 2014.
 * A young rider falls into middle earth durring the war of the rings. Tenth walker story, legoromance..possibly a MS
 * Book girl fan's comment: It's a tenth walker fic, and seems very much a Mary Sue, with spelling mistakes and lack of capitalization even in the summary.


 * "Eves jorney"- T rated. Returned from Claimed January 15, 2015.
 * Eve was just a regular 16 year old girl that finds out that shes a hero destiened to help save Middle Earth! Will she stay alive? Am I a MarySue? You decide! possible romance!
 * Warrior Sue/Chosen One. Features Legolas turning a light shade of pink (bad mental image). Eve ends up slapping Boromir so hard he blacks out (something this author is dubious about), then makes up with him in a strangely unrealistic way. Very bad poetry preceding each chapter, part of which rips off Zelda. Timing completely gone to pot.


 * From a New World to a Nightmare - rated K+.
 * When an adventurous 12 year old gets pulled into the fantasy world of Middle-Earth, she finds herself in the midst of new dangers and threats. Even with the help of her new friends, will she be able to defeat these evils and make it home alive?
 * Surprisingly not a Tenth Walker. Instead, she's transported to Bookverse, early Fourth Age. But she's been turned into an Elf, and Legolas and Gimli need her help in dealing with a new evil. So still a Sue.


 * "How to Thank You//Legolas Story" - not rated, hopefully K or T. Returned from Claimed February 2, 2015.
 * And then, he came down the aisle, and I saw him. Tall and lean, he wore a silver tunic and white tights. He was exactly the way I last saw him, solemn and graceful. His golden hair shone as it fell flawlessly down his back to his waist, and his eyes seemed to shine like diamonds. I tried to look as composed as I could when he walked past. And when he did, he turned his head ever so slightly in my direction, and his eyes lit up, his lips curled upwards in a smile which melted my heart in an instant. I dropped my gaze to my hands and waited until I heard Legolas's feet stop until I finally looked up again.
 * DawnFire's note: As the summary and title tell you, it's a Legomance. It's also from the Circle. It features a Sue named Lauriel in the Third Age, who's Arwen's sister (younger by two years) but not the twins'--they don't seem to exist. Just after her mother, Lady Celebrain's, death, this ten-year-old Elfling runs off, meets Legolas (unnamed at the time but said to look around her age), nearly drowns, and is saved by said unnamed Elfling. Being Elflings, Legolas of course teaches Lauriel-of-the-Quenya-name to shoot an arrow, because of course Thranduil gave his son a bow for his last Name Day. What's Legolas-the-infant/toddler doing near Rivendell, you ask? He's shooting at trees because plothole. And so the story continues with the entire War of the Ring skipped over in favor of going straight to the wedding of Aragorn and Arwen. And, er, the coronation of Legolas, as his father is, um, stepping down from the throne. I'm not sure I could make this nonsense up if I tried, it's hilarious. And I'll just leave you with the mental image of Thranduil and Elrond translating their Sindarin and Quenya greetings to each other in parentheses...and Lauriel using modern swear words in her head...


 * "Lost Princess (Legolas Story)" - not rated, most likely T.
 * Elemmire Seregon, the lost princess of the Kingdom between the skies, the kingdom defeated during the rise of Sauron, is forced to settle as money runs out. She stumbles across on her travels, home of the elves preparation to leave middle earth. As sparks fly will she run or finally accept that sometime her mate will break down her walls.
 * Is it just me, or does the title really sound like a Disney Princess movie?


 * "The mistakes we made" - T rated - Intelligence Report.
 * On the brink of a war, a daughter of Elrond returns home. The ring has been found and the council of Elrond must make a decision. Follow her as she makes her own mistakes and observe the fate of an elleth that tried to change the world.


 * "No Safe Place (Legolas Love Story)" - not rated, probably T.
 * Erillin is the younger sister of Arwen, Princess of Rivendale. Her father, Lord Elrond has hidden her true Identity from her and keeps her Hidden within the Elven Realm of Rivendale. She can do things that no Elf can do. When Frodo comes to Rivendale she finds her way to Venture Middle- Earth and leaves as one of his Companions. When Erillin falls in love with the Elven Prince of Mirkwood, Legolas, she trys her very best to push him away for she knows, they can never be...


 * "The Roamer" - T rated.
 * "Middle earth needs change. This way we don't have to blame ourselves." That is what I said. Taken by Morgoth as a child. He turned me; different. There is a legend; not a well known one it's true. And no-one knows of me. In a way. But I'll leave you to read and figure things out. VERY slow legomance not a mary-sue. First fanfic. Please correct me, English isnt my 1st language.
 * The good news is she knows about Morgoth and she joins the Fellowship after they left Rivendell. The bad news is she's a human girl who was turned into an immortal super-spy in the First Age - so definitely a Sue. And there are Minis everywhere (Borimer, Caradhra's, etc.)


 * "Since When" - rated T for Tremendous and Terrifying. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Two girls get a not so pleasant surprise one night. Try finding characters from your favorite movie in you living room. Now these two have to find a way to cope with an Elf, four hobbits, a dwarf, and a king that know nothing about LA. Suck at summaries!
 * Summaries and stories too, my darling.


 * "A Storm of Moths" - Restricted Audience rated - NSFW!
 * Frodo feels so small and inadequate. Strider has such warm, calloused palms. Hehe. Set in the snow as the Fellowship tackles Caradhras.


 * "Trees and Orcses, Precious" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * IT HAS BEEN RAISED FROM THE DEAD! Yeah, so it was originally script, and I reformatted it. Gollum and Treebeard fall in love. Yes, I know I'm strange.

Maximum Ride

 * "The World or Nothing" - M rated.
 * ""the World or Nothing By Jimmy b Rider Note, like the previous book this is a fan-fiction Overview After a traumatizing experience in Italy the flock had nearly lost Angel, they head back to the us to try to get phycological help for Angel, then head off to try and find the fiends that had nearly killed the youngest member of the flock, and destroy the terrorists. Will they succeed? Will they survive? Who is this new threat? And what other adventures await? All these questions and more will be answered in this book, so buckle up and get ready for the ride of your life.

Mercedes Lackey

 * "A Matter of Choice" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * These two Hearlds and their Companions were unusual, and that's saying something for every Hearld of Valedmar and their Companion are unique. If they were one of a kind then their child could only be... well read and find out!


 * "Shadow of Beginning" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * His birth was a foreshadowing of evil to come. The black Companion and his white haired Chosen whose powers are beyond belief. Two young lives twisted by a cruel fate that threatens them and everyone they love.

Percy Jackson

 * "Luna Silver, Daughter of Artemis" - not rated.
 * The setting and scenes unknown to the Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series are mine, all materials, events and weapons that is not in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series are mine. The rest belongs to Rick Riordan. This is after The Last Olympian and before The Lost Hero.
 * When the blurb doesn't say whats going on, you're going to have a bad time.

Silmarillion

 * "The Voyeurism Trilogy" - M rated, NSFW.
 * 3 stories the 3rd being still in the oven detailing the antics of assorted Doriath males as seen through the eyes of their feminine counterparts. WARNING: M/M relations SLASH! YAOI! Whatever you want to call it. Most definitely rated M
 * Tawaki's comment: +++ !!!!! +++


 * "A Word and a Kiss" - Teenage Audience rated
 * Upon setting out with Beren to seize a Silmaril from Morgoth's crown, Luthien assumed the disguise of Sauron's messenger Thuringwethil; this is their encounter.
 * Thuringwethil and Lúthien merge!

Tamora Pierce

 * "Fallen Leaves on the Ground" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Thom of Trebond's daughter wanted nothing more than to blend in, another autumn leaf on the ground. The world simply won't let her forget who she is, and who she's destined to become. Chapter Seven.
 * Note: This isn't marked as an AU, so evidently the author didn't read the books thoroughly and realize that Thom would never marry a noblewoman and have a super speshul Sue for a daughter. Plus, said daughter would not have been romantically involved with boys four years older than her when she herself was only ten. Lack of Logic = Suefic.

Warriors

 * Night & Dawn - K+ rated. Returned from Claimed 23 January, 2016.
 * Three She-cats, Nightkit, Dawnkit and Moonpaw are born into ThunderClan destined to guide the Clan through its darkest times into the light. This is their story.

Watership Down

 * "The Great Journey" - K+ rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * a bachelors life is never easy so when a band of bucks decided to leave their warren what dangers and challenges will they face on their journey to make a home for themselves.

Wicked

 * "Should Have" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Just an ending I put in for school, but I would like to share because I added some extra gore that I did not have my teacher read. Enjoy, how the book should have ended.
 * This is a bad fic. How bad? It made TV Tropes' "So Bad it's Horrible" list. That should say everything.

Young Wizards

 * "Spark" - K+ rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May 2014.
 * Completely revised edition of my older fic by the same name.It has been so long since the Lone One has had anything good in his existence. His spark of life comes in the form of... Nita Callahan?
 * I know it's a reposted revised version and it's not too terrible, but I still have too much of an issue with the Lone Power being thoroughly and stupidly in love with anyone, let alone Nita. Plus, the difficulty of an agent dealing with this one makes me want to do it.

Adventure Time (with Finn and Jake)

 * "Epic Adventure Time" - K+ rated. February 26, 2015
 * An epic adventure involving both Finn/Jake and Fionna/Cake versions of Adventure Time. A girl named Angel inherits a magical bracelet from her mother, and gains the ability to cast spells and travel between the real world, Finn and Jake's world, and the Ice King's imagined world, A.K.A Fionna and Cake's world, eventually saving all 3 with the help of her beloved friends.

Arthur

 * "Tommy and Timmy gets Circumcised" - T rated.
 * The title says it all.
 * Disgusting, simplistic and written in script format. What more could you want?

Doctor Who/Torchwood

 * "My Forever Girl" - T rated
 * Sam Nightingale thought her life was simple but when a strange man with a blue box turns up and hers and Clara's doorstep, things get complicated pretty quickly. Who is this man? Why does he refer to her by another name? the Doctor/OC (going to do 9/10/11 and 12)
 * The Sue is the Doctor's long-lost childhood sweetheart from Gallifrey. Because she's a speshul chosen one, the Untempered Schism has thrown her into various TV episodes (but only post-relaunch ones for some reason) along the Doctor's timestream. Yes, a blatant cross between River Song and the Impossible Girl.


 * "Nemo Est Soleus No One is Alone" - T rated.
 * Right before meeting Rose, the Doctor meets Rebecca Goodman, a seventeen year old Genius from New York. What happens when everything about Rebecca's past is not as it seems? Can she prove to the doctor that No One is Alone? Starts just before Series One. Now on Series 2.
 * Makes a change to see a Sue with the Ninth Doctor.


 * "Together" - T rated.
 * The Doctor misses Rose and wishes he knew a way to get her back. When he visits a planet he finds a person who knew he was coming. She may have a way to bring Rose back to him. They pick up a stray who is a larger mystery than the Doctor. Can they help her find happiness before she gives up? Set after Donna traveled with him.
 * Introducing Katie, the mysterious psychic matchmaker Sue who can see between universes with no trouble at all.

Generator Rex

 * "The Elemental Queen" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Getting rewritten! Raine has no remember of her past but she a Evo just like Rex and grew up together. I really bad at summary sorry Noah x OC

My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

 * "Only Glitter Remains" - M rated.
 * The elements of harmony lead the Mane6 to the discovery of an ancient castle, inhabited long ago by a race of ponies who have come out of hiding for the first time. Will Equestria ever be the same?
 * The guy who cowrote "Epic Failure of the Touhou Project"? He's my roommate . When I mentioned the PPC to him, he immediately unearthed this and "Royal Bloodbath." Unlike... that fic, this one looks like it actually might have gone somewhere interesting&mdash;heck, the Mary Sue race actually suffers consequences for their hubris! Then... the implied molestation happens.


 * "Spikes hate, thier love" - T rated.
 * They had forgotten his birthday. For that they will lose his love, and gain his hate. The Mane 6 lied and forgot about Spike to go to a Wonderblots show. Now Spike has changed, and they don't like it. Can Spike ever forgive them, or will his hate for them be to strong after their lies. They are antro in this one. Bad words
 * Tawaki's comment: ...technical errors like whoa...


 * "Spike's Main Six" - T rated.
 * My first fanfic. Spike has some feelings for the elements and some others. He will have more girls that care for him then he knows what to do with. There's a poll on y profile. Check it out.
 * Tawaki's comment: Same author, same notation.

Once Upon a Time

 * "As Time Ges By" - T rated.
 * This is all before the curse. Happy family until Regina curses the Land. Everyone is sent to Storybrooke and all forget except for Henry.
 * There's no actual plot, but there are at least four minis in less than four hundred words!


 * "Once Upon A Crack" - K+ rated.
 * This is a random story revolving around Rumple


 * "Once Upon a Time I Used to Love" - T rated.
 * read it to find out.
 * The second part is where it really pours on the suck.


 * "Photo Booth" - K+ rated.
 * Emma and Regina are secretly dating and have a little too much fun at a party which ends with a very drunk Mary Margaret and fun in a Photo Booth (also a bit of Red Beauty). ONE-SHOT
 * Far too much OOCness to be explained by a simple overabundance of alcohol.


 * "The Plot" - T rated. January 3, 2015.
 * The Royals are kidnapped by the Evils and held hostage for an evil plan to take over. I suck at summaries. Plz R&R NO FLAMES! first Once fic. AU, ooc sort of, Rated T cuz idk
 * There's an entire chapter with no line breaks. Can't speak for the OOCness since I don't watch the show, but that sort of error is never OK, ever.


 * "Unexpected Surprise" - T rated.
 * After sixteen years of waiting red finally gets what she wanted for so long. but will she regret it?

Phineas and Ferb

 * "One Agent's Love" - K+ rated. 12 March, 2014.
 * Perryshmirtz romance story. An -inator starts it all..Perry x Doof. (DISCONTINUED)
 * ...This is one of those times you wish humanity knew which characters are and aren't allowed to be shipped. Unfortunately the author wasn't smart enough to know shipping a platypus and human is a bad idea.
 * Thanks to a certain episode where the two ended up on a relationship talk show together, the pairing is vaguely explicable, though still weird. Ship aside, this thing mangles canon pretty badly, with Phineas aware of Perry's secret agent status, and Perry somehow able to talk. (In canon, the former would result in either Perry being sent to live with a different family or Phineas having his memory erased, and the latter isn't possible since Perry is a sentient-but-still-unable-to-speak platypus.) And the English language is mangled as well, though slightly less than the canon is. At least it's short.

The Real Ghostbusters

 * "Hot Night in NYC" - Adult++ rated, very NSFW. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Janine is rather horny and enlists the help of a... special prostitute. COMPLETE, F/F, F/D, Oneshot
 * Oh dear god, where do I begin? There are just so many things wrong with this story, starting with the fact that it's not even in the right category. Despite the story being about characters from, and taking place in the world of, the Real Ghostbusters cartoon, it managed to end up submitted under the Filmation Ghostbusters cartoon, which was not actually part of the Ghostbusters franchise.

Sanctuary

 * "What's in a name Roses wine and pain" - M rated. NSFW. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * John Druitt/Nikola Tesla SLASH, dubcon, angst, VERY DARK Everyone knows that true power is given, not taken.

Stargate SG-1/Atlantis

 * "The Genius and the SO" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Sheppard/McKay AU John never had a family. He was military, raised from birth knowing what his future held. He was destined protect and sleep with some genius scientist for his country. What he never expected was to love and be loved. SLASH
 * The world is changed into a totalitarian state, child soldiers, 95% of the population is forcefully sterilized, and forced breeding programs. The characters are thrown for a nice, large twist.

Star Trek

 * "It's not a blender it's a coffeemaker!" - T rated. (TNG) Returned from Claimed 26 August, 2015.
 * Syan is an Elvic healer needed for a long mission, but when her innocent flirting lands her a husband she fights with her family that she didn't marry a blenderDataOC
 * Summary says it all.


 * "Red Dragon" and "What is There To Do in Space?" - T rated. NSFW (TNG) Returned from Claimed 26 August, 2015.
 * Kunsei, a young Commander, has a tortured past aboard the U.S.S Malinche. Now on the Enterprise, she is determined to prove her new reputation to the captain who treated her so badly, until everything goes wrong.
 * Data and new Transfer, Commander Kunsei, decide to take a break from the usual duties of the Enterprise.
 * Fifteen-year-old commander. In a relationship with Data for no discernible reason (The second fic is smut). Can shapeshift into a dragon and gets cybernetic implants. Has a tortured past. No scene breaks, and some really random Picard/Riker slash. DEFEATS THE BORG QUEEN. I'll stop now.

Supernatural

 * "The Path Unwinding" and its sequel, "The Path Unwinding part 2: Winchester Legacy" - T & K rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Dean and Sam pick up a new member on their team in the battle for the world. Will she be a help or a hindrance?Set Season 3/4,Dean has a year left, and he wants it to count.First Supernatural fic - Don't own anything! Let me know what you think!

Teen Titans

 * "Musical: Things Change & The End?" AKA "The End of Ends" - T rated.
 * Beast Boy, saddened by the events of the episode Things Change, finds his life tumbling down and in a fit of depression, runs away from Titan Tower and quits the Titans. Shortly after this, a black hole opens up in space and starts to suck in Earth, as well as other galaxies. As this is happening, Jump City is attacked by three villains, all of whom serve a higher power: Count Logan. After a brush with the three minions, the Titans are shocked to learn from the Doom Patrol that Beast Boy was killed. Thus begins a struggle between the Titans and Count Logan, who plans on destroying the entire galaxy with the help of an ancient artifact forged by Trigon known as the Dark Prognosticus.
 * Beast Boy is a whiny ingrate who (spoiler alert... not) decides to destroy the universe with the help of a book from Super Paper Mario and a few minions of Carmen Sandiego's because Terra dumped him. Note that the fic blames her and the other Titans for Beast Boy's descent into nihilism. Oh, and it's by the guy who wrote My Little Unicorn. And it has a sequel.


 * "Recruits" - T rated.
 * The Teen Titans need a new team of superheroes. They find six heroes who need them as they need each other and learn to accept others, no matter what. BB/OC, Robin/Star, lots of OC/OC. Please read. I suck at summaries.

Thomas the Tank Engine

 * "How Gordon met Rebecca" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Gordon pulls into Knapford station and he meets a girl called Rebecca, Gordon decides to let her go with him and Gordon and Rebecca become good friends. I'm using my own version of the characters, not the CGI characters

Total Drama

 * "The Death of Nick" - M rated, NSFW.
 * Trent murders Nick and kills him. Nick goes back to his life in the past to when he had lost his Virginity to a little baby. SUCKISH story. Don't read if you are a flamer of mine. rating is in the story.
 * Words can't even do it justice, it needs to be seen to be believed, which I don't recommend doing.

Winx Club

 * "Winx Club: Secrets of the Dragon Flame" - K+ rated.
 * Bloom, Princess of Sparks, thought she was the sole survivor of her planet and the sole keeper of the dragon fire. But she was wrong, one day a strange teenage boy shows up with magical powers similar to her own. Upon battling she soon realizes just who this boy is and that they must work together in order to stop the deadly shadow dragons from destroying the magical realm.
 * A guy that has fairy wings and makes Riven look like a saint shows up, claims he's Bloom's brother and bosses the Winx around.

Gilbert and Sullivan

 * "The New Wife" - K rated.
 * This story is about Fredrick and Mabel's new life together.
 * No plot. All single sentence paragraphs. Nothing but non-sequiturs. Childish bickering that thinks it's witty banter. Everyone in it is a possession or a replacement. (On the bright side, whoever missions it will get the chance to sing the charges: "You are the very model of some really bad possession Sues." Admit it, you've always wanted to do that!)

Oedipus Rex

 * "Oedipus: The MPREG Edition" - K+ rated - added 25 Aug 2015.
 * A slash/mpreg version of the play Oedipus.
 * A totally pointless slash/mpreg version of the play, with the same plot but Oedipus marrying his male "mother".

William Shakespeare

 * "An Enigma of Ye Minds" - T rated - added 26 Aug 2015.
 * Shakespeare decides to write a play while he is drunk. Just a bunch of stupid OC's. Disclaimer: Everything, owned by someone else, is not owned by me.
 * Incomprehensible plotless nonsense with multiple F-words and terrible SPaG. Even when drunk, Shakespeare could still write better than this. (Note: Written in second-person informal singular, so the mission will require a custom "thou" crash dummy.)

The Elder Scrolls series

 * "Runaway With My Heart" - T rated.
 * Kayleigh Leanne returns to Skyrim after 13 years and she's to deal with Dragons and the Imperials. As she gets closer with dealing her horrid past, maybe a certain Stormcloak might be able to help her with it. A story of strength, trust, commitment, love and family. Main, Daedric, and Stormcloak Quests, and post-Skyrim.
 * With a game like Skyrim where you can do almost anything (and if you can't you can probably mod it), I'm immediately wary of any fanfic of it. 108 chapters of a Mary Sue and her children and one of the most boring things I'd ever read.

Fallout series

 * "Benny Sort Of Falls In Love" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * A story that my sister made me make up. It was supposed to be about Benny falling in love, but then it got off topic, and turned into a... I don't even know.
 * When the AUTHOR doesn't know what's going on, it's a bad sign, and when nobody knows what's going on, you're going to have a bad time.


 * "Fallout: The New Beginning" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * The Courier helped the NCR to defeat the Legion, now a new enemy comes and an old friend returns. To defeat all that opposes them,take over Vegas and take over the Mojave Wasteland for "the greater good" Yeah right!
 * I didn't add that "Yeah right". It's in the summary. As for the fic itself, it seems redeemable. The SPaG is decent, but the plot is stupid and implausible and the companions are OOC.


 * "weird day at the strip" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * an unintelegent courier, a dress obsessed scribe, and a robot that can only speak in internet quotes search for a treacherous casino owner in a swivel chair... yep its weird
 * You can have a weird story WITHOUT it being bad.

Halo

 * "Story of My Life" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * The name is Annabelle Lucas. I am the first daughter of the United States of America and my dad mysteriously dies. He signed a treaty with the aliens that just tried to kill the human race. Theres a bunch of rumors going around and I keep access my dad's documents because it's classified whats a girl to do?

Kid Icarus

 * "Kid Icarus: Shadow Uprising" - T rated.
 * Cardinal Drake lost her family, her friends, and her nations dusing a war long ago between the Gods. She then swore to revenge for the ones she lost, but soon Medusa returns to once again lead the Underworld Army to destroy the humans. Palutena asks Cardinal for her help and now Cardinal in conflifted. Join Cardinal in this made-up version of KI:U with new characters!
 * SkarmorySilver's note: "Join Cardinal in this made-up version of KI:U with new characters!" Think about that for a second...

Kirby

 * "Mended Hearts" - T rated. Possibly NSFB if you like the canon.
 * Everyone finds out Bun and Meta Knight are demon beasts, so what happens when they are alone together in Dreamland, on the run from both the good and bad sides of the war? Meta and Bun are not only left with mending each others wounds, but also their souls, spirits, and most of all, their hearts. CONTINUED! CH. 5, BUN FINDS OUT HIS SECRETS!
 * Anime-verse, taking most names and terminology from the Japanese version.
 * Most canon characters are thoroughly OOC or outright replaced, POV shifts are frequent and jarring, and logic is ignored to facilitate a plot which screws up canon to the point that it's nearly unrecognizable. Proceed with caution, Bleeproducts and at least one Crash Dummy.
 * To be more specific about the fic's insanity, it takes the common "Meta Knight is Nightmare's failed creation" theory to its very illogical conclusion. Bun is apparently not Parm and Memu's son and Fumu's brother - he's the son of Meta Knight and a "female Wolfwrath" (even though there's no implication that's actually a species in canon rather than a single individual, and it's called Chilidog in Japanese... where all the other terms are from) and his canon appearance is a disguise which doesn't even seem physically possible. Upon finding out that Meta Knight and Bun were created by Nightmare, the two get chased out of town by... basically everyone else in the kingdom, including people who should be undyingly loyal to them (such as freaking Sword and Blade!) and almost no in-character behavior is seen until at least a few chapters in.

Legacy of Kain

 * "Black Hearts" - T rated. Returned from Claimed January 30, 2015
 * A retelling of Raziel's story. However, a new character is introduced, giving Raziel a romantic twist.
 * It starts out with a blatant Mary Sue, but then devolves into straight copy-paste of the script where the romantic interest barely gets any lines, and half of those are stolen.

The Legend of Zelda

 * "Bloody Tears" - K+ rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Link has gotten himself into a bit of trouble so what do the Goddesses of Hyrule do they call on the one with Bloody Tears who is a stranger to their world and has no idea who the hero of time is Not OCxLink Will Be Confusing Mostly Experimental
 * ... No. We do not start outside the Zelda universe in a school where someone is talking about incest. We're not even to the second chapter yet!


 * "The King's Bride" - T rated. March 15, 2015
 * For centuries, it has been tradition among the Gerudo for the newly crowned King to capture a maiden to be his wife. When his father dies, Link sets his eyes on the Princess of Hyrule, who's completely unwilling to comply. Will he convince her to be the Gerudo King's Bride, or will he realize he's bitten off more than he can chew? Zelink AU. A retelling of Beauty and the Beast.

Persona series

 * "The Memories Left in the Fog" - T rated.
 * Though each world uses the same deck, the spread can always be different. Regardless, Inaba's mystery can't be left unsolved, and there's always more than a single path through the fog. Persona 4 retelling. FeMC, small number of OCs.
 * Amnesiac FeMC (female main character) who lives with the Dojimas despite his suspicions about her amnesia, a "very special guest" according to Igor, an unstable Velvet Room (canon is defending itself, I'm sure of it), really urple passages, and her somehow using a Fool Izanami without the Wild Card. Oh, she also derails the plot, and Teddie is nowhere to be found. Sweet Philemon.

Pokémon

 * "A twist of fate" - T rated. December 27, 2014.
 * Funny how one little twsit of fate can change your life forever, weather for better or worse. This is the tale of Nynx, she's a rainbow elemental, though her main element is ice, and considered the daughter of articunto. She was living happily in the forest with her brothers, up until they caught the eye of a rouge organization that is. Follow her and others through this tale.
 * eatpraylove's comment: Rainbow elementals? Red/makeup organizations? A legendary having children, and Sue children at that? This isn't Pokémon anymore, and now I'm angry. 


 * "Alex’s Contest Chronicles" - K rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * This is a Journey Fan-Fiction about me, Alex and my way to be Top-Coordinator.
 * The Stu has an Eevee (which was supposed to be his friend's, but imprinted on him, and the friend isn't even mad. How utterly insane), and also catches a wild Chimchar. In Kanto. That'd be bad enough, but the Stuthor also appears to have missed the existence of quotation marks and paragraph divisions. Very kill-worthy.
 * eatpraylove would like to warn anyone considering this that it's one hundred and forty-three chapters long.


 * "May and Buster the Teddiursa in 'Adopting a Cute Bear Cub'" - M rated. June 11, 2015. (link goes to a spork)
 * May, who is 18, adopts a young Teddiursa named Buster to do... Things with. They end up frickle fracking.
 * May isn't even close to her proper character. Who asks for the youngest when they want to do stuff with them? No one should, especially not May. I do not recommend this to anyone who doesn't like bestiality.


 * "PMD Time & Space" - T rated. August 13, 2015.
 * When a human turned eevee meets a shins of cowardly nature an epic adventure unfolds
 * Protip: if you absolutely must shamelessly copy-paste the main plot of the game, then at least write it coherently and with more detail.
 * "Pokemon Advanced Diamond XY League of Ultimate Legends" - K+ rated. December 27, 2014.
 * After end of his (XY)league Ash K/Satoshi travels for the ultimate league which is the zino league with some of his old friends and some new friends and advance shipping started during the so see how strong his Pokemon's become especially Pikachu who turns to be the most strongest with its huge number of moves. This whole adventure will be kept on going until the league
 * eatpraylove's comment: It only gets worse, folks. Scriptfic with literally no descriptions at all, mini-Missingno out the wazoo, and the same horrible English alongside other stupidity I didn't have the heart to uncover. (The author's profile says they're Bangladeshi, which might explain the horrible English but does not excuse posting it.)


 * "Rectified Anonymity A.K.A The Pokemon Story" - M rated, NSFW. June 12, 2015 (link goes to a spork)
 * It concerns the adventures of a young Pokémon trainer named David, who finds himself miles away from home in the middle of a massive rainstorm. His umbrella broken and his spirits flagging, he calls out his Gardevoir to keep him company. The story then becomes very disturbing, very, very quickly.
 * Some have said that it rivals "Agony in Pink" and "Chibi Usa's Seventh Birthday" in terms of violence, shock, and brutality. Personally I don't think it rivals them, but it's pretty dang close to.
 * Not for the faint of heart! Involves rape, suicide, Gardevoir, fatherxdaughter and many more disturbing themes. Luckily it's not long.

Resident Evil

 * "Resident Evil Stay Alive" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Stuck in a game, Rick and I have to survive and beat them all in order to get back out.We encounter all the cool characters, and try to keep a low profile.Although, I am a very out spoken person... dun dun DUUUUUUUN!Chp.78 up! Sorry for wait!
 * Okay, so this is so bad that I want to cry. Geography errors, nonsensical descriptions, OOC-ness, grammar issues, the timeline was murdered, loads of things are misplaced... It's still not done yet, but the Sue in it is really bad. I also really don't want the author to find out.

Rune Factory: A Fantasy Harvest Moon

 * "Rune Factory 3" - T rated.
 * A girl called Platina wakes up in Sharance Town with no memory. Takes place in RF3's storyline. OCxGaius. OCxZaid. MicahxRaven.
 * HimochiIsAwesome's note: Mary Sue again, called Platina, who is obviously going for the dwarf blacksmith. Very imaginative name there. A complete lack of SPaG, including huge chunks of un-paragraphed text and many missing spaces. Pointless POV changes, the first of which also includes a switch from third person past tense to first person present tense. Obviously not a one-shot, but is still only the one chapter. Plus the title of the fic is the name of the game it's based on. Imagination combo x2!


 * "Sleep Over Fun" - T rated.
 * Gaius X Micah fic from Rune Factory 3. the fic is about how Gaius gonna spend his day in Micah's house, is anything gonna be 'happen? Yaoi / Shonen-Ai fic! One-shot! hard reviews are welcome :
 * HimochiIsAwesome's note: Bad SPaG. ("Uuuh… sorry! We thought you make party!" apologized Sakuya, the rest is bowed to him.) The writer's profile says they're from Indonesia, but they should still have used spell-check and a beta. And they made a guy do farm work in his boxers.

Silent Hill

 * "Fatal Fascination" - M rated, NSFW.
 * Consumed by a psychotic mind &amp; driven by Instinct, Pyramid Head knows nothing but suffering. But when a young girl escapes the church &amp; crosses paths with the demon, he must fight for his sanity and what he has come to love more than the taste of blood...
 * Girl falls mutually in love with Pyramid Head, gives him a stupid name, what more do you need to know? It's just awful on so many levels.

Sonic the Hedgehog

 * "5 Years of Missing Clone" - K rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * 5 Years ago, Amy was kidnapped and cloned. The clone was sent to kill Sonic and Shadow. Real Amy escaped, killed Eggman, became a warrior godling, theif, and assassin. Where does love fit in? IDK what pairing. MY guess, ShadamySon...For now. LOL!
 * Here, have a little segment from the story: "DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SPELL HATE?! A-M-Y!! YOU ARE THE DUMPEST GIRL TO EVER LIVE!!". Add that to the change from 3rd person to 1st person in the middle of a chapter and you have something that shouldn't have been written.

Touhou

 * "From the Sky and Beyond" - T rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * A man was trying to live a normal life until Flandre Scarlet literally fell into his hands. At that point, his life ceased being normal as he was pulled into a conflict that threatens both his world and Gensokyo.
 * Not much to say, but there is a solid 20 lines of text in a single paragraph. And all of it is speech. Wonderful.

World of Warcraft

 * "THE ETERNAL ONE" - not rated.
 * I don't even know where to begin with this one. I'm honestly quite frightened, and, yes, two litmus tests have gotten the same result for her now: 179. Her crimes include being the Aspect of Light AND an uber-speshul daughter of Alexstrasza and Korialstrasz, being an incredibly violent and ill-tempered Red, shoving a tauren into a cage for talking about something she wasn't in the mood to discuss, calling Lor'themar, Halduron, and Rommath her advisors, turning Lor'themar into a slavering, awkward teenager, being married to Lor'themar... the list goes on. KittyNoodles will gladly help if someone wants to tackle this, but won't risk her sanity trying to take it down on her own.
 * Find all chapters here.


 * "Tell Tale Heart" - K+ rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Abandoned by his own people and left for dead at the Sunwell, Kael'thas' only hope lies in the form of a druid. But this druid is something else entirely. Romance and Hurt/Comfort. What's not to like?
 * How about a wussy Kael'thas being revived after his canonical death, OOC characters, and a warped timeline? Not to mention a Mary Sue.

Homestuck

 * "Homestuck high" - M rated. Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * Join the cast of homestuck as they go through high school! They face dark magic, pregnancies, drama and more! It has multiple pairings and ADULT CONTENT plz review this is my first story
 * "Nepita came from the rapprochement of Neptune and flys through the windpw smelling like the rottan corpses of a hundread falcons who eat the spit of neckbeerds and cry form the rapped childs of acquiescene and luggaged toward the willting flower."

Jeff the Killer

 * "How It Starts, And How It Ends" - Not rated.
 * A fanfiction not for the faint of heart. May contain sexual content in later chapters. [WARNING FOR FOUL LANGUAGE]
 * *coughs horribly* This follows every Jeff the Killer fanfiction cliché possible. And falling in love with Jeff after three days? Please hon, save your horniness for another character.
 * Just... THEY DO THE DO IN CHAPTER 8! Luckily you don't read it because the author didn't bother to write the smut scene, but you know it's happened.
 * "My Beloved Killer" - Not rated.
 * Jasmine Price is a 17 year old girl, who lives in Denver, with her abusive parents. Jasmine only has two friends Cam and Rose. She goes through life everyday being bullied at school and at home. Jasmine meets Jeff the killer and wonders can she love a killer?
 * This is another plain clichéd fic. The main character (a really cliché emo goth girl who "hates almost everyone except her few friends") is bullied for no reason and it's unrealistic to the extreme. It really ruins Jeff as a character, just like most other Jeff the Killer fanfics.
 * "Never Go To Sleep" - Not rated.
 * Maya's just a normal girl. Unfortunately, she is the only girl to have escaped Jeff the Killer. When she escapes she thinks it's over, but she has no idea that this is just the beginning of her love-filled nightmare.
 * Follows most, if not all, Jeff the Killer badfic cliches. Falls into the traps during chapter 1 when Jeff doesn't kill her. Also contains bad pacing and stuff Jeff wouldn't do. 

RWBY

 * "Feral Instincts" - T Rated.
 * Desmond Jaeger, the last of his family, faces the struggles that await him at Beacon academy, all because one Ruby Rose. but the battle does not only consist of the physical kind. His suppressed memories come to light, and as he battles with himself, the White Fang begin their tyranny. Will he triumph over himself, or will his darker side bare it's fangs?
 * Last-of-his-Speshul-line Stu with a bloodthirsty streak, wielding weapons I can only describe as bad rip-offs with blades of Ember Celica and intruding itself in the beginning of the series. It's only two chapters long for now, but judging by the way canon, formatting and punctuation were slaughtered, it could not wait.

Slender Man Mythos

 * "SlenderMan's Daughter" - Not rated.
 * Mayzen is a simple goth girl in high school, but her father is Slenderman.. Miley and her lil group call her Freak, Creep, Googly Eyes and other things.. The only person she trusted was her bestie Vlad. Could she face her father? Or live with his deadly secret?
 * *Sigh* Boring cliché main character who (as usual for creepypasta badfic) spells everything out and doesn't let the readers draw conclusions themselves. Grammar is horrible, same with spelling, and it's a mess. Around 24 chapters, sadly.


 * "Slenderman..." - Not rated.
 * Since this story has no description, I'll just tell you how much it sucks. The author is obsessed with full stops and gets Slender Man's character all wrong. The main two characters aren't even interesting and follows the goth girl and has semi-abusive parents clichés. There's much more wrong with this, seeing as it's under romance for some reason, but you'll just have to read to find out. (40 chapters.)
 * "The Thing Called Slenderman" - Not rated
 * As Tera thought the Slenderman was just a game monster, she and her encounter him faces to no-face. The characters and setting are changed to protect the identites of me and my friends.WARNING; about a couple pages are sexual so don't freak out.
 * Bad grammar, spelling mistakes, and pointing out every unnecessary detail, as usual for creepypasta badfic.

Warhammer 40,000

 * "Ciaphas Cain in deep" - Rated well above NC-17 (NSFW, NSFB). Returned from Claimed 29 May, 2014.
 * The summary speaks for itself, being largely comprised of a laundry list of sex acts. Pointless, plotless porn that would be hilarious if it wasn't so badly written. Contains none of the humor or character of the original novels.