Kana Horrendous the Third

Kana Horrendous the Third, more commonly known as Kana, is a How to Train Your Dragon Sue from the fic "The Girl And Her Dragon." She was slain by Agents Derik and Earwig.

Character History
At the beginning of the fic, fourteen-year-old Kana is the most useless Viking ever, despite supposedly being the child of Hiccup and Astrid. She basically attempts to re-live Hiccup's story by making friends with a sick and wounded female Night Fury. And then everything goes horribly wrong.

First of all, every concept of grammar you ever knew goes out the window, with the word "as" taking the place of both conjunction and preposition at the expense of all others. The canon follows shortly thereafter. Kana speaks "Dragonese," and the dragons use "dragon magic" to heal her after being attacked by a bully--the side effects of which being that she turns into a Night Fury. 'Cause that sort of thing totally happens in the movie.

Meanwhile, Toothless and the female Night Fury, Ari, fall in love and have a baby. Also, Kana has a baby sister who hates dragons. They all have really stupid names.

Charges
Derik charged Kana as follows:


 * "Kana, on my authority as an Agent of the PPC, you are hereby formally charged with being a Mary Sue. Your offenses as such are many and heinous." He looked down at the sheaf in his hand, shook his head, and threw it to the ground. "No, it's too long. Let me just tell you why I'm going to personally end you.


 * "I charge you with being an insult to dragonriders and dragonkind everywhere. You have no appreciation for what it truly means to have a bond with a dragon, your pathetic aping of Hiccup's story notwithstanding. Don't talk to me about telepathic bonds with dragons. Just don't. You only caused these events for your own benefit with no thought for them, so you could construct an artificial draconic 'family' that would love and adore you for artificial reasons, and all the while you ignored your human family, which would have been there for you if you had only been big enough to see it. It's all a play for sympathy, but your actions deserve none. You have ignored the canon and the laws of grammar, causing a plague of deleterious effects on this world. I charge you with being shallow and selfish, and for dragging innocent bystanders into a place they have no business being, thereby risking their lives and the well-being of the world around you, you horrible Sue." He paused there to give her a look that would have curdled milk, liquefied it, re-curdled it, made cheese, and shredded it into nothing.


 * "For your many crimes, the punishment is death. If you have any last words, now is the time."

Character Death
Kana said something whiny and Derik smashed her skull in with his sledgehammer. The CAFs and bit-characters were neuralyzed and allowed to assimilate.

Links

 * The Badfic
 * The Mission