Claimed Badfic

This is a list of all claimed badfic that an agent has staked a claim on.

You may claim a fic before receiving Permission; just make sure you note that your claim is pending Permission so we don't get confused and think you're jumping the gun.

If you claim something from the list of unclaimed badfic or otherwise, make sure to:
 * Move it here, clearly labeling it with your name/the name(s) of your agent(s) and the date of your claim. Please be aware that very old claims (generally 18+ months) may be bumped back to the Unclaimed Badfic page or, if the badfic is no longer available, deleted entirely.
 * As on the list of unclaimed badfic, please include story summaries, links, and ratings, just for the masochistic amongst us who actually like reading badfic, the poor insane souls.
 * Place your claim in alphabetical order in the appropriate category, which would be the fandom that it comes from unless it is a crossover, in which case put it in Crossovers and note which fandoms are crossed.

If you remove something from this list, make sure to remove it completely. That includes its category if it was the only fic in it. Doing so reduces clutter and confusion.

If you have KILLED something from this list, make sure it gets removed to the list of killed badfic.

For those depressed by the quantity of badfic, the list of killed badfic may cheer you up. Maybe.

Crossovers

 * Alice In Wonderland T-rated Alice in Wonderland (2010 movie) x Twilight Claimed by EileenAlphabet January 11 2012
 * When Alice falls in a hole,she meets mad hatter Jasper,Red Queen Rosalie and her Emmett,White queen Bella and her Edward. What will happen? Will love sparkle? No vampires, includes all the Cullens. Read to find out! Better than summary.
 * It's actually worse than the summary ... No a sequel per se, but still enough of a connection for me to want to spork it.
 * |Artemis Artemis Fowl and the Time Lord - Rated: K+ Doctor Who & Artemis Fowl - claimed by desdendelle.
 * A crossover of Artemis Fowl and Doctor who. Artemis manages to get the TARDIS to land in his garden, so Artemis can ask some questions. But then Number 1 comes along, possest by the Midnight creature. Quantum Zomies are their bodys, and they're getting AF
 * Take Bleeprin.
 * Advanced Wizardry - T rated - Harry Potter x Young Wizards. Claimed by Elemarth.
 * CROSSOVER Nita and her fellow Young Wizard, Kit, do a transport spell horribly wrong and they wind up at Hogwarts castle at the time of the Marauders.
 * They're taken into Hogwarts as fifth-years, despite the face that they don't even have wands, let alone know all the things that first through fourth years know.
 * "Bella goes to Middle Earth M rated - Twilight x Lord of the Rings. Claimed by Meta 10-02-2012
 * Bella gets sent to her rightful home Middle Earth where she is an elf. The Cullen's soon follow to help her. Set after Edward leaves her in new moon. Read as they join the fellowship and save the world. Bella falls for Legolas her true mate. Mature.
 * Exactly what it says on the label. Bring bleeprin for when Elrond says his immortal line: "17 companions… So be it!"
 * The Blood Red Sun - M rated - Dead Space x Legend of Zelda x StarFox Claimed by Herr Wozzeck
 * Issac faces his greatest challenge as he encounters Link, Zelda and the Star Fox gang. In his battle against evil government forces looking for the marker that has arrived in Hyrule! This leads to an epic bloody battle where few will be left standing!
 * Nonsense plot, over the top villain, stupid characters, and a lot of gratuitous sex? Smells like a sporkable fic to me. 
 * Candidate Future - M rated - Harry Potter x The West Wing. Claimed by Chatvert.
 * Set after the war Harry has his own life and twin sons at Salem he was missing for three years and should only be twenty one, wait what, oh and he works for the white house set pre season one of the west wing to begin with watch as he struggles with life.
 * What is this, I don't even.


 * Eternal Memories - T rated - Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha x Cardcaptor Sakura x Sailor Moon x Shugo Chara (?) x Completely original and unexplained canon squished together with the others with no rhyme or reason. Claimed by Karrin Blue and  Sergio Turbo
 * When your a mage, your work is never done. When your a mage, and charged by the gods to create an army to kill off seven beasts, your life is Hell. Luckily, your not alone, you've got mages, girls with planet power, and a girl who has magic cards. R& R
 * Oh gods above, this is horrible. An entirely new canon is spawned from the author's imagination (the backstory of which is kinda-vaguely explained on the author's DeviantArt page, not in the fic) and is squished with the main canon with no sense. 
 * FaCe ThE StRaNgE - M rated - ... Harry Potter x Twilight x Yu Yu Hakusho x Sonic the Hedgehog x Legend of Zelda x Naruto x X-Men x True Blood x Maury. Claimed by Herr Wozzeck and Caddy-shack
 * When Dally Darkblood, a vampire Ravenclaw, goes to Hogwarts, with her best fren, Edward Cullen, and then Hiei, things began to get intresting.
 * Oh my God. This one is so bad, it qualifies as Bleepfic, if not Legendary Badfic. It's horribly written with spelling that is as bad as My Immortal, it has an extremely blatant Mary Sue, and the author is a horrible, horrible person. You know your bad fic is bad when it makes freaking Bella Swan a sympathetic character.


 * Full Metal and the Hogwarts mishap - T rated - Fullmetal Alchemist x Harry Potter. Claimed by Neshomeh, Feb. 13 2011.
 * Ed goes to Hogwarts to investigate these so called wizards. Posing as a student from Durmstrang, he runs into Harry and his gang, and guess what happens? mishap!Please R&R AU EdWinry! Harry and Ginny or Harry and tonks havn't decided yet
 * Warning: eye-bleeding formatting.


 * "Furies of Panem" - T rated - Codex Alera X Hunger Games Claimed by Fractal Dawn, Feb. 27 2012
 * Gale/Katniss, no pairing for the main character, Desiderius. A Codex Alera Hunger Games xover. Desiderius competes, loses a friend, and leads a rebellion...
 * Gross mischaracterization of a canon character within the first two paragraphs. Thankfully short


 * If I should Die before I Wake - T rated - Narnia x LORD Claimed by EileenAlphabet, December 13 2011
 * NarniaLOTR crossover. Boromir wakes up in the cold snow of an unknown land. Can he survive long enough to get back to Middle Earth? Or will the White Witch and her secret police kill him a second time?
 * Sequel-claiming. Although this one has a lioness who is the daughter of Aslan, so it warrants killing in its own right.


 * Korean War Stormtroopers - M Rated - Star Wars & M*A*S*H. Claimed by KGarrett.
 * A freak accident in Lightspeed sends 6 Imperial officers and a Jedi Master Marine to the 4077th where they use their ranks to put Frank and his new partner in crime Colonel Flagg in their places.


 * Metroid: the Gensokyo Project -T rated - Metroid x Touhou. Claimed by Platinumyo
 * Gensokyo in the future is a desolate wasteland plagued by the evil of Phazon. Samus, a team of Federation marines, and a small science team do not know what evil lurks in the once beautiful land of Gensokyo. Neither do its inhabitants.


 * Neutral Countries Can't Fight Dark Lords - K+ rated - Hetalia x Harry Potter. Claimed by Kitty's Muse 6/28/11.
 * In 6th year at Hogwarts Harry starts to act rather...differently. His anger is now Chopin not Capslock. With Hermione and Malfoy acting up too, what's going to happen? Features Austria, Prussia & Hungary so far. References pairings.
 * Some of the Harry Potter canons... are possessed by the Hetalia canons. What. The. Heck. Not to mention Russia/Neville and Voldemort become buddies over their problems with women. As if.


 * Twenty Warriors T rated- Super Smash Brothers x TMNT x X-Men x Riviera: The Promised Land x Fire Emblem x Tales of Symphonia x Gears of War x Punisher x Skies of Arcadia x Dead Or Alive. Claimed by Herr Wozzeck, looking for collaborators.
 * Twenty warriors are sectioned in groups of two to end a threat to the entire universe. However, is this threat really the massive apocalypse that it seems? MultiCrossover fic.
 * Yes, this is me, sporking my own fanfic. I look back at this, and I wonder what I was thinking. So I think a sporking of it is in order, though I am looking for collaborators.


 * The Vampire,The Ice Queen and the Wardrobe Rated T Narnia x Twilight Claimed by EileenAlphabet
 * Bella is 15.When she got stuck in a wardrobe,she enters the world of Narnia.She meets Edward Masen,and they fell in love.But in Narnia everything's not normal,will they live trough the rules of the Ice Queen Rosalie?Or will they die?E/B,R/EM,AL/JA
 * Thought it was about time that my agents took the Fictionary out for a spin. Also, the fic makes my head hurt and needs to die.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

 * How I Became Yours - Around T, or a slight M. Claimed by Italian for Grandma.
 * No original summary available. The link leads to the author/artist's Photobucket account, chapters are listed on the left as HIBY.
 * Kiaya's Journey - T rated. Claimed by Karen Elaine DuLay.
 * Its The whole Avatar story, but with a new character from the start. Kiaya. Shes a firebender and traitor to her Nation, and she seeks Aang for help. Its from her POV, and you can see through her eyes the story of the Avatar. SokkaxOC ...Kiaya teehee- R&R

Hetalia

 * All of Freedoms Horses - K Rated. Claimed by Opinioned Angel
 * "why did papa want me" little liberty looked up"because your something worth fighting for" parental usuk and grandpa england/oc...my oc is liberty


 * Brothers of Asia - T rated. Claimed by Kitty's Muse 7/11/11.
 * All the countries have gathered in Hong Kong for a UN summit, but once they all leave little do they know that in the shadows new enemies move to destroy the world we know starting with asia. Ch. 1 altered
 * Originally "Brothers of Aisa". The OOCness of the canons and ridiculousness of the entire story is tremendous. Several of the chapters consist mostly of horribly drawn out fight scenes.


 * Everything i ask for - T rated. Claimed by Kitty's Muse 6/28/11.
 * Denmark and Norway are living in a fairytale life, all Denmark wants is for Norway to put on that ring. Their relasionship is put to the test when Norway reveals a shocking secret that will change thier lives forever. MPreg warning!
 * It only took the first two chapters to show that Norway was completely OOC. Every other character is also out of character, and I actually banged my head against my desk/wall while reading this due to sheer stupidity. Safe for Work, but your head/brain may ache afterwards, especially if you know and/or like this continuum.


 * Jamaca in da hood! - T rated. Claimed by Ru Tsuna 10/26/2011
 * Jamaca and America are black ghettos and hete stupid whities like englan!
 * Terribly offensive and racist,and that's putting it in the lightest way possible. I couldn't even make it to the second chapter without getting a really bad headache and almost going insane. Its similarity to My Immortal is incredibly daunting. Proceeding with utmost caution is strongly advised.
 * Note: I do not have Permission yet.

Naruto

 * SexyNoJutsu Gone Wrong Claimed by Myrtle Tamlane, pending permission.
 * What if the guys (Gaara, Naruto, Kankurno, Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru, Kiba, and Lee) try the sexy-no-jutsu but there is one problem they can't turn back! Only Kakashi and Tsunade know so what happens when they are given tour guides for their stay. Or that's the story until a cure is found. Pairings: GaaSaku NaruHina KanIno NejiTen ShikaTem
 * 27 chapters, including three that are only author's notes and one titled "HaHa This Chapter Is Nameless". Bad characterization, a thin excuse for gender swapping (they have Lee doing the jutsu! The one character who can't do anything that requires chakra use!), an implausible plot (I doubt any of the characters besides Naruto would ever use that jutsu), painful grammar and spelling. For god's sake, bring all the Bleeprin you can get your hands on; there's recaps at the beginning of every chapter, and a lot of it is rapid-paced conversation with frequent scene-changes.
 * You know what boggles my mind about this fic? It got 320 reviews on the Pit. The vast majority are positive; not even concrit, just "ur such a good writter and i love ur stories please update soon! :)" and the like. Not NSFB by any means, but frustratingly, stupidly, facepalmingly bad to such an extent that it's occasionally funny.

Neon Genesis Evangelion

 * Ikari Unleashed - T rated. Claimed by Ugolino.
 * Im back from the dead witth an ooc charecter Shinji as well. What will happen with a adamantium spined Shinji!
 * As depressingly bad as you'd expect from the summary. The OOC isn't limited to Shinji, and the way OOC! Shinji acts is almost as appalling as the fact the author clearly intends for him to be a sympathetic protagonist.

One Piece

 * Hey Blondie - T rated. Claimed by OrangeDream.
 * Sue is a musician that joins the Straw Hats, effectively eliminating Brook from the story. Entire crew is OOC, Usopp misses an opportunity to claim that he is the captain, everyone wants a musician instead of it just being Luffy's running gag. Story feels all around half-assed. That's not even the first half of the story. Further charges pending.

Soul Eater

 * keep you safe! - T rated. Claimed by Kitty's Muse 8/25/11.
 * after an attack set on maka Death the kid and mabelle help her back up!
 * Great. It's only a chapter long so far (and short at that) and Soul, at least, already seems to be insanely OOC. Not to mention that apparently Soul and Maka are engaged and so is Kidd and an OC. Claimed in anticipation of much more sporkable material.

Yu-Gi-Oh!

 * Beyond the Void - T rated. Claimed by ReginaTheNinja
 * The power of spaghetti. Great enough to create a cross-dimensional portal? Apparently it is. And so we follow the travels of two teenage girls, thrown into a world of magic, shadows, and children's card games...
 * The summary makes it sound a lot more sane than it really is.


 * If Seto Kaiba Had A Sister - T-Rated. Claimed by Opinioned Angel
 * Yugioh. An excellent, but male dominated show. What it needs, is a super kick-butt chick in there to spruce things up; and that is exactly what I've done.
 * ...Yeah, there are no words for this.

Batman

 * Come Undone Claimed by Meta
 * Oh God ok guys.. this is my first try at a joker fan fiction... ugh..well you know what might happen the usual joker stuff lol..lets get this straight. im a hardcore joker fan. i don't like twoface, penguin, riddler, poison ivy, catwoman, clayface..Mr. Freeze or other villians...well i do like scarecrowman/Dr.Crane. But I will still bring them in some. eh so here we go. ill start with the character bio. i've worked on this for a while so if you don't like it fuck you and deal w/ it!
 * Just plain and simple Melons.


 * I Hate Everything About You M Rated. Claimed by Italian for Grandma.
 * Harley Quinn loves her Mistah J, right? That devotion is tested in the very capable hands of his arch nemesis, Batman. BMxHQ Chapter 6 is up and contains LEMON! Happy early Valentine's day.
 * And what a lemon! Geez.

Scott Pilgrim

 * The best fanfic ever I swear you want be disapoint. M Rated. Claimed by Opinioned Angel
 * Scottie Pilgrim has got it goin' on...Scott x Wallace WARNING IT HAS YAOI IN IT BUT IT'S TOTALY WORTH IT.
 * what is this i don't even...

Garfield

 * "The Adventures of Garfield and Rapunzel" - K rated. Claimed by FourthWallPainter (pending Permission).
 * A pretty Siamese cat sneaks into Garfield's house to steal food. When he catches her at it, she convinces him to accompany her on her quest to right the injustices of the world.

Aliens/Predator

 * One & Only - M-rated. Claimed by Sister-to-the-Queen (permission pending).
 * A teenage girl named Dawn is the last human left alive after a group of Aliens massacre her family and friends. She is saved by a outsider Alien, will he be her only protector from this deadly species or will there relationship become something more...
 * I'm guessing the summary tells you enough. Xeno/OC. NSFW, NSFB.

Batman

 * Alls Fair in Love and Riddles- Rated T. Claimed by ShatteredSanity
 * What happens when the Riddler see's something...or someone he likes! There will be more so stay tuned!
 * What does happen? Let's see...Riddler holds up a Walmart, get's called a dumb ass, get's taunted by the sue, proceeds to become obsessed with the sue, breaks out of prison...WHERE THE HELL IS BATMAN?!?!

Nolanverse
rating: PG-13 for yaoi, a small sex scene (no details), swearing and lots more stuff to come in the future (you'll find out why it's called an unexpected miracle) parings: JokerCrane and little hints of RiddlerxTwo-face
 * An Unexpected Miracle - M Rated. Claimed by Caddy-shack.
 * This is based off of my other fan fic SxJ getting to know you. its about how jonathan crane and the joker ended up in the same prison cell at arkham together and ended with them kissing this storys about how 5 months after they broke out and "showing" there feelings for each other.The story is told from Jonathans POV (just so you know on case you get confused )
 * As you can see, this is disquieting to start off with, and only goes down the insanity slope from there. NSFW, NSFB, Contains MPREG among other things if you want a little more specific detail. Since it is on Devient Art, the second chapter can be found Here and the third Here.

Chronicles of Narnia

 * The Daughter's Tale -K Rated. Claimed by Italian for Grandma.
 * Arneia has her own path to follow in Narnia, which she will find will cross with those of her saviours. Peter/OC.
 * This 'Sue claims to be the glauranging daughter of Aslan. She's not a lioness, by the way, but rather a human. Also known as the Swordmaiden of Narnia, and has what seems to be a very improbable sword.This might make a good Suevenir (pun intended) for the Agents that take on this mission. The story follows the movie 'Verse version of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.~Pretzel


 * The Swordmaiden's Battle -K Rated. Claimed by Italian for Grandma.
 * Arneia's story continues in 'Prince Caspian' as she fights to keep her country alongside a new ally with the return of her old friends. Peter/OC.
 * Arneia's back, now corrupting the movie ' Verse of Prince Caspian. Also, Arneia appears to be immortal. Watch out for this when killing her. ~Pretzel


 * The Narnia's Elf Princess -T Rated. Claimed by User:Gaijinguy and User:Herr Wozzeck.
 * Gwen Kirkes is the adopted daughter of professor Kirkes. When the Pevensies came to the manor during the Blitz, something magical happen to the five children. However a dark presence haunts Gwen for she discovers her true Identity not a daughter of Eve
 * Gai's note: when you're creating minis in the summary, there's not much left to say.

Indiana Jones

 * Indiana Jones and the Kid's missing Dad - Rated K+. Claimed by User:Antigone68104
 * This is my first IJ story. It has the character Caz that I have written in my other stories.- Caz needing Indiana's help to find her dad. Who had been taking by the German's and has been missing for four years. Now it's up to the two of them to save him.
 * I'm still trying to figure out what time period this is supposed to be set in -- Indy's acting like his 1940's self, but the author's used this OC in some modern-day TV show fics.

​Kung Fu Panda

 * Chronicle - Rated K. Claimed by User:Herr Wozzeck
 * Shifu drops a magic notebook, it lands through a portal, It lands in my world and I become it's new master and Po follows and observes me as I use the book to rewrite the world as it should be.
 * This is just... Yeesh. Some Gary Stu gets a magic notebook that grants wishes without any negative side effects whatsoever, in addition to using it to strong-arm the world into what he views as his paradise. Just... No.

The Mummy

 * Love is a Curse - M rated. Claimed by Firebird766 for Agents Chalk and Jenka.
 * Rick loves Imhotep loves Anck-su-namun loves Evelyn loves Ardeth loves Jonathan loves Ardeth, and Alex is disturbed.

Rio

 * SCOTT KNOWS BREAST - T rated. Claimed by Techno-dann
 * What if the characters of Rio were more anthropomorphic and lived alongside humans? Well, you'd get something like this. Join Kaiser Scott, Jewel and company as they experience the good life in Asswood. Or lack thereof.
 * This bills itself as a parody, but in this it absolutely fails because it's not funny. Also, it's less a parody and more a hate piece that rails against furries. But the worst sin is that it rails against DeviantArt and FurAffinity users who did absolutely nothing wrong, and yet who all get the worst and most hateful caricatures possible in the story before being killed in incredibly cruel ways.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

 * Absurdity - T rated. Claimed by Miah.
 * Holmes has been transformed into his four-year-old self! Watson and Mycroft work together to try and solve the mystery.


 * Snapped - M rated (Please note this story is on AFF) NSFW/NSFB. Claimed by Miah 06/15/11
 * When Watson decides to marry again, Holmes looses it. And finds a way to keep his doctor from leaving. OOC, M/M, Anal, Oral, Abuse


 * Two Faced mystery - T rated Claimed by Miah.
 * Orchid is a descendant of professor Moriarty, from beyond the grave Holmes destroys her family's crime empire and bent on revenge Orchid travels back in time a becomes Gabrielle Venitari but when Holmes and Gabrielle fall in love, what will Orchid do?


 * Welcome to the Furture - T rated. Claimed by Miah 06/15/11
 * Sherlock Holmes and Watson literally fall into Mine and Lydia's lives.How will they cope with the new world? follow us as we attempt to stop Holmes insulting people or getting himself killed and Watson tagging along. Holmes/OC Watson/OC


 * World Guardians 3 the Inbetween - T rated. Claimed by Miah.
 * Its finally here and they are back, but this time Charlie, Kathryn, and Nathan are back but this time in Sherlock Holmes and shit is about to hit the fan when the In-between returns after 1000 years. Rated T for language ,detective work and... vampires!
 * This story is linked by the Main Character Sue to three stories in the Star Wars continuum.
 * I am willing to make a collaborative effort with others who know enough about the Clone Wars era Star Wars continuum to kill all of this Sue's stories in one mission.

The Sound of Music

 * The Sound of Music - rated K, but should probably be closer to T. Claimed by doctorlit.
 * Terror in Salzburg
 * Trollfic by Hans von Hozel containing character death.

Spirited Away

 * Spirited away 2: Kohaku's Rescue - Rated M but never actually gets.. M-y. Claimed by Something Blue (permission pending)
 * 6 years have passed since Chihiro has been to the spirit world, but with her new boyfriend she has forgotten all about her childhood love, until her best friend Rini reminds her, but Rini might be the only one to go save him from Yubaba this time. HakuXOC
 * It's in second person, which is annoying, and Rini spews fangirl Japanese for the two chapters she exists. She gets into the spirit world with no problem, Haku is OOC, and... just bleh. ~Something Blue

Star Wars

 * the book of the jedi (sic) - T rated. Claimed by Elemarth.
 * mace windu finds a book containing ultimate power unheard of by the jedi


 * Fruits of Malice - T rated. Claimed by Elcalion
 * In an alternate universe, Anakin Skywalker was taken from his mother at the age of four. He was raised as Darth Vader in a loveless, brutal environment. His life takes an interesting turn when he has an encounter with a certain senator from Naboo.


 * gift of a friend - K+ rated. Claimed by Elemarth
 * anakins been getting horible headaches and has been hearing voices. is he going crazy or is it deeper than this much better than it sounds i suck at summaries


 * Once Upon A Star - M rated. Claimed by Elemarth
 * What if Star Wars didn't take place in a Galaxy far far away? What if it was on one world filled with mythical creatures and magic? What would the story be like? Read on to find out. Rated M to be safe.


 * Star Wars Remix - K-rated. Claimed by Anity
 * This is my version of what would have happened if Anakin never became a jedi. It will detail each of the 6 movies with obvious differences. It is a rewrite of my earlier one which i accidently deleted a while back.


 * Trials of the Dragon- T rated. Claimed by Elcalion
 * 13 years after the end of the Clone Wars, on the planet Naboo, Jedi Master Chad Kantor, one of the few Jedi to survive Order 66, has escaped again from the vile clutches of Darth Vader, formerly his long time rival from the Jedi Order, Anakin Skywalker.

Tangled

 * Men of Constant Sorrow - M rated. NSFW/NSFB Claimed by Miah. 10-12-11
 * Flynn and Eugene hate one another.
 * And then they 'love' one another--in the worst possible sense of the word. How? Just. How?

The Dark is Rising Sequence

 * Dark Fantasy T rated. Claimed by Lleu
 * Will Stanton and his sister Mary are thrown from their quiet peaceful life into one of a dark fairytale...slash and yuri. Don't like, don't read! RiderxWill, JanexWill, and W.RiderxMary
 * To live, serve a purpose, and die alone K+ rated. Claimed by Lleu
 * A girl enters the scene, so much more powerful than an old one, yet clueless about what her purpose is, so lost and alone- knowing who her family are, but not being able to be near them:- Especially her brother. But she knows she must assisst the 6...
 * The Family reads the Dark is rising T rated. Claimed by Lleu
 * What if one day, a book appeared, with a note telling you and your family to read it. What if it told the story of one of your brothers, with secrets no one knew. Well, the Stanton family is just going to have to read to find out.
 * Takes a potentially interesting premise, at least theoretically interesting — not to my taste, but — and ruins it.

Discworld

 * Girl's dresses M rated. Claimed by Chatvert
 * What would of happened between Susan and Teatime if Banjo hadn't been there to stop him from pulling girl's hair. Warming, it had a mature rating for a reason there is also a clean edit on my page
 * Considering that Susan x Teatime is one of my pet crack pairings, I am especially offended when I see a bad one. So...here I go!
 * Presents K+ rated. Claimed by Elcalion
 * In which Teatime is alive after Hogfather, Susan is a robot, chapters occur every 100 words or so, and jump backwards and forwards in time enough to make Memento look linear.

Ender's Game

 * Frozen Flaming Bean Ball of Death! - T rated. NSFB. Claimed by Wide Eyed Idealist.
 * One Shot character death taking place at when Ender was at Battle School in Ender's Game. R&R

Inheritance Cycle

 * Brotherly Love - M-rated, NSFW. Claimed by Myrtle Tamlane, pending permission.
 * set in brisingr before eragon and roran rescue katrina. yaoi. the cousins are showing off their battle wounds/scars...can you see where this is going? yaoi, cousinslash
 * Leaving aside the fact that Eragon is (ostensibly) after Arya and Roran and Katrina are en route to marriage, the thing that kills this is when Roran thinks of Eragon, "He looked like a little Japanese porn star, and undeniably, rapably sexy".
 * I don't particularly like this series anymore, but this fic is really, really bad. Not even Canon Stus like Eragon should have this horror inflicted on them.

Harry Potter

 * The Adventure of Harry and Rose Potter Rated T Claimed by Caddy-shack and DML.
 * What if Harry wasn't an only child? What if he had a twin sister named Rose Lilian Potter? This is her story. Born on August 1, she was sent into hiding and went to live with James' sister Jenny who then fled to America to flee from Voldy. re-written
 * Caddy's Note: OCs interposing themselves into key positions, the sue being his long lost twin sister, you'd almost think they were intelligent and planning this...


 * Becoming Female - T rated Claimed by Caddy-shack
 * Who will Harry end up with after turning into a girl!* femHarry/Draco Ron AND Pansy bashing Make sure to write lots of reviews for me!
 * Extreme OOCness in everyone, multiple character bashing, extreme stupidity (both in the fic and the characters). Harry is turned into a girl (a Mary Sue described girl no less) by being forved to drink a potion by Snape, or face the wrath of a single point loss from Gryffindor......I could not make this up if I tried. Expect multiple exorcisms or an outright slaughter of a mass of replacements. As a side note, CAD's will most likely explode within the first chapter, (not that they will be needed to spot it in this).
 * This....this is what happens when a either a troll has grammar without numbers, but still writes a story of complete and utter nonsense. Either that, or this author badly needs to read the books.


 * Green Eyes - T rated. Claimed by Neshomeh, Feb. 13 2011.
 * Read and you will find out, love story.Harry and the other characters will be mentioned.Mainly about Cedric.for people who like Robert Pattinson and his characters in all his movie. T to be safe might be an M later on. Reviews would be great. C&OC Thanku! (Summary)
 * Hey guys…umm Twilighter1006 here…Here's my first story. . . . I made for people who mainly like Robert Pattinson and all his characters in movies; I have made the girls name up...Only because I don't want to sound to obsessive with Robert, so I used a different name to mine own name. (From author's note)
 * Ahem. That's MY name you chose. I don't think I like seeing it used this way. I might have to put in an appearance as myself. Maybe Elanor Laison will want to help, too... ~Neshomeh 20:09, March 29, 2010 (UTC)


 * Harry Potter and the Gift of the Basilisk- K+ rating Claimed by Caddy-shack and DML
 * Starts in the Chamber of Secrets! I mean that in a literal sense. Harry Looks at the basilisk and something unexpected happens. From then on his life is changed. Will it be for the better or worse?
 * Caddy's note: The Basilisk turns Harry into one as well... He then of course turns Ginny into one too.


 * Harry Potter and the Guardian of Hogwarts - T rated. Claimed by Edward Wilder
 * Harry Potter thoguht he had an extraodinary life. Little did he know how much it would intensify
 * Bad case of Possession!Sue. Should only be tackled by experienced DMSers, as Harry is uber-Harry and has the power of all four founders and can turn Dementors good. Handle with care.


 * HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH - T rated. Claimed by doctorlit.
 * Summary: Harry Potter eventually eats a sandwich and discusses life with a famous author.
 * This fic is composed of the very fabric of chaos. Also, Ray Bradbury is made fun of.
 * Laburnum has laid claim to the technically-not-Pokémon from chapter seven.


 * It's only a song - K+ rated - Claimed by Tomash (pending Permission)
 * What happens when a new girl arrives during Harry's sixth year? What will happen when she gets involved in the lives of others? Will she ruin the Trio's friendship? Or make it stronger?


 * Ival Pythonica - M Rated. Claimed by Pieguy.
 * A deadly curse is placed on Megan Malfoy forcing her into sex with Snape and Lupin every day for seven days to save her life. What happens when a man who loves her must share her with one of his longest standing enemies? OFC, F/M, WIP.
 * It's as if the author went down a checklist of Suvian traits...


 * The Last War - Rated M. Claimned by Opinioned Angel
 * Harry and Hermione soon find themselves wondering what they ever saw in the Weasleys. But will they finally recognize their love for one another? And what devastating consequences will happen when they do? H/Hr Don't like it? DON'T READ IT.


 * The Real Us Rated M, Claimed by Gandalf the Beige (and his Agent, Portia McSweney) July 18, 2011
 * Everyone "knows" what happened during Harry's seven years at Hogwarts... right? Er... no. Find out the truth about Harry and Hermione. H/Hr Rating for language and mild sexual situations.
 * Note: Severe godmoding, even more severely underage intimate relations and off-the-scale Weasley-Bashing make this fic painful to read, even for this mildly militant Harmonian agent. However, there are aspects that may be salvageable...


 * Rose's Visit - Rated M - Claimed by TheCatfishCaper (Permission pending)
 * Rose Weasley pays Harry and Hermione an unusual and unexpected visit. a visit that could change their lives. Rated M for language. read a little of the kind of stuff that pops up in my head occasionally. H/Hr
 * The Ron-bashing I can almost understand since it happens so much, but Snape? Molly? That's just silly. And punishable.
 * Secret Santa - Adult ++ (NC-17?) rated. Claimed by KGarrett
 * Summary: Lupin plays Secret Santa for two of his best friends. Fluff/Romance/Yaoi. SS/HP Anal, COMPLETE, HJ, M/M, Oneshot, Oral, PWP.


 * Someone To Love Me - M rated - Claimed by Ellipsis Flood
 * Harry’s twin is chosen as the Boy-Who-Lived and since that night, life’s loveless for him. How very cliché, but one that I like. SLASH. CD/DM/TR/HP Abuse,Neglect and Potter, Weasel bashing. Dont like Dont read. A Vamp!Fic. You have been forewarned.
 * THE WRONGNESS OH THE MASSIVE WRONGNESS! *sob*


 * Subjugation - NC-17 rated. Legendary Badfic! NSFB! Claimed by Neshomeh and Tungsten_Monk Feb. 13 2011 until the end of time, if need be.
 * SUMMARY: Severus Snape accuses Albus Dumbledore of rape. Dumbledore claims that it is all a misunderstanding. Who is believed, the Savior or the Turncoat?
 * WARNINGS: AU, Very Dark Fic Chapters may contain any of the following - M/M Slash, M/F Slash, Mpreg, M/M Rape, Graphic Violence, Child Sexual Abuse (Non-graphic), Incest, Bondage, Implied Bestiality, Character Death, Cross Dressing, Foul Language.
 * Note: The fic seems to have recently vanished from the internet, but since Neshomeh has a copy (much to her revulsion), the mission will go forward, sometime this year (2011) if at all possible. There are honor, pride, sanity, and canon at stake here. For great justice!


 * Diamond Tears of the Black Court, The - Rated T. May 10, 2011. Claimed by DML
 * Aira had been told shes a witch,shes okay with that.But with Dumbledores unusual behaviour towards her and the forbidden forest calling her,shes having doubts to whether she is what they say she is,her magicks different to the others, then theres them...
 * Filled with extremely pretentious and meaningless purple prose and centers around a completely unbelievable jerkass protagonist who gets everything handed to her by divine will of her author.
 * This has been nominated for Bad Movie Night at Tangodown!. Contact DML if you want in. Currently in design freeze.


 * Under the Full Moon - M rated. Claimed by Elcalion
 * Jessica, Alexandria, and Silimarillion enter their last year of Hogwarts. Jessica has like Remus since her fifth year and finally gets up the courage to tell Remus about her feelings when he returns to teach in her final year. Will Jessica and her friends get their man of their dreams, or will there be obstacles that are stuck in there way. **Warning for anachronisms, silly nicknames, wrong-headed notions about Elves, and possible animagi.


 * Wanting Something More. - T rated. Claimed by Edward Wilder.
 * Brittany Zabini had it all, money, power, Draco Malfoy lusting after her. She didn't want any of it. A possible arranged marragige is thrown in and Brittany has to fight it, by falling in love with her 'fiancee's' rival? Better sum. inside. HPOC.

Lord of the Rings

 * The Adventure Begins - K+ rated. Claimed by Neshomeh, March 24, 2011.
 * Aragorn has a daughter, and she wished to join the Dunedain. She gets her wish, but unfortunate events separate them during a time of great mystery and confusion. Used to be "The Life of a Ranger's Daughter"
 * Also claiming its sequel:
 * With one Step - K+ rated.
 * Vanya is back, but this time she is not alone. A mysterious stone was given her from Lady Galadriel, which turned out to be a Dragon's egg. Now, an old threat is on the rise. Vanya and her father must help the ring bearer, Frodo, destroy the one ring.


 * "Aragorn and the angeli" - T rated. Claimed by CDHammer.
 * A new species is in middle earth, how will she change the fellowship and can she put aside her haunting past?
 * Last survivor of a Magical Sue Race, she vaporizes a Nazgul at Weathertop and joins the Fellowship. She also has Arwen look on Aragorn as a little brother who's an "absolute pain" (direct quote) in order to free Aragorn up.
 * Story had been deleted from FF.Net as of 2:30pm (AEST), 18/11/2011 - CDHammer
 * Aurelia the protector and the golden light, March 16, 2011, by DML] and [[Caddy-Shack (delayed posting).
 * Aurelia, daughter of Sauron, first female dragon rider, half sister to Eragon and Murtagh. this is her story, here she finds bravey and friends, along with love. This is a reload of Aurelia, the golden light, this is a bit better than the first, enjoy R&R
 * Claimed for the episode "FNG" of Tangodown! (Subject to Change)


 * Be Careful What You Wish For - T rated. Claimed by Sedri, July 15, 2011.
 * Maria Valdez has always wanted a life full of adventure, away from her mother who expects way too much of her. What happens when she lands in Middle Earth and gets the life she's always wanted? Will she love it or grow to resent it?


 * Dangers of the heart - M rated - claimed by Incarnate, pending Permission
 * OK 1st of all can I please, please ask you to read my profile before you review my storys it expains about the spelling no flames please
 * Modern-day lyrics to start each chapter, terrible formatting, rebellious!princess!Sue, immortal Gimli, bizarre consistent spelling mistakes (it's not "Gimli", it's "Glimi"), Legomance (but of course!), run-on sentences, evil!Thranduil and so much more.


 * The Evil Bride- T rated - claimed by Khroma
 * COMPLETE & REVISED- There's something wrong with Legolas's brother's bride-to-be and only Legolas can sense it. But how can he make the others believe him?
 * But what it really is: Invincible-Magic OOC Legolas vs. Evil Orc Zombie Bride. 


 * In Darkness Light Prevails - Rated T. Claimed by EileenAlphabet
 * 10th walker, when a mysterious woman from the past shows up in the shire to help Frodo Baggins, little did he know the story and power behind the woman. Legolas/OC Aragorn/Arwen
 * Tawaki's comment: "Nine shall be the number of the couting, and the number of the counting shall be nine. Ten shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count to eight (excepting of course that thou proceedest to nine). Eleven is right out."


 * Just Remember - T rated. Claimed by Italian for Grandma.
 * songfic to 'It's All Coming Back To Me Now' by Celine Dion. Two elves used to be in love, but the love has been forgotten. My first songfic, please rr!


 * Katherine in MiddleEarth. Claimed by KGarrett and Cassie5squared
 * Katherine is vacuumed to her bin and finds herself in MiddleEarth. She's told that she's the chosen one. Whay will happen to her? OC included!


 * My Lady Dunedain
 * Whole set claimed by Antigone68104, now that it's complete
 * "My Lady Dunedain: The Fellowship of the Ring" - Rated K+
 * The Watcher has always been on her own, doing whatever she wanted to, fighting, killing, but when Gandalf asks her a favor she becomes apart of the Fellowship and falls in love in the process. But will she survive long enough to realize it? Aragorn/OC.
 * Tenth Walker Warrior!Sue in the movieverse. Misogynist!Boromir can't decide if he's falling due to the power of the Ring or lust for the Sue.
 * "My Lady Dunedain: The Two Towers" - Rated K+.
 * What will the future bring for our fragment of the Fellowship as they enter Rohan? What does Altrasea encounter as they enter the halls of Edoras? But more importantly, will our favorite lady Dunedain survive the coming battles?
 * Yep, the Sue's real name is Altrasea.
 * "My Lady Dunedain: The Return of the King" - Rated T
 * What will the future bring for the Fellowship as the battle to end the War of the Ring draws near? What happens when love is used against a king and the lady has no way of stopping it? Will Aragorn and Altrasea survive, or will Altrasea be left behind?


 * Quest for Identity - rated M. Claimed by Twain and Jeanlily
 * A human girl joins the fellowship and discovers who she is. NOW DIVIDED INTO CHAPTERS. AragornOC.


 * The Royalmaiden's Journey - K+ rated. Claimed by
 * When Arnuriel is sent to follow the Black Riders, she has no idea what kind of journey is waiting for her. She sets off with the Fellowship of the Ring for an adventure of a lifetime. Legolas/OC.


 * The Silent Girl T rated. Claimed by Rosie Azrael
 * At the wish of Elrond, a 10th walker joins the Fellowship. Her name is Nikita Siikavirta, and she never speaks, but communicates by writing short messages on cards. Her past is a mystery, and what diffrence will she make? Can she even be thrusted?
 * Azrael comments: Thrusted. Keh keh keh. Off a cliff, perhaps... 


 * Since When rated T for Tremendous and Terrifying. Claimed by Sonnen, 13th May 2011.
 * Two girls get a not so pleasant surprise one night. Try finding characters from your favorite movie in you living room. Now these two have to find a way to cope with an Elf, four hobbits, a dwarf, and a king that know nothing about LA. Suck at summaries!
 * Summaries and stories too, my darling. 


 * Through Anothers Eyes - T rated. Claimed by EileenAlphabet
 * A eight year old abused girl is thrown into Middle Earth after an accident, and she meets two of our favorite Hobbits. Chapter One, PART TWO: THE TWO TOWERS
 * No, that is not a typo. The Fellowship is joined by an eight-year-old girl. Eight! And the only objection anyone has is this: '"Laurie, it will be dangerous," Gandalf warned her. She shrugged.'


 * Trees and Orcses, Precious - T rated. Claimed by dramaticsoprano, pending permission.
 * IT HAS BEEN RAISED FROM THE DEAD! Yeah, so it was originally script, and I reformatted it. Gollum and Treebeard fall in love. Yes, I know I'm strange.


 * Wait THIS is Lord of The Rings? - K+ rated Claimed by Caddy-shack
 * Four girls,from Quebec Canada, all haunted by something, are thrown into the lovely land of Middle-Earth, to find quite an unexpected turn of events! After much abuse of some people, they get to go along with the Fellowship. Will epic stuff happen? YEAH!
 * Four extra walkers, glomping of love interests, and much "this is what's about to happen". Also a truly incredible amount of World One gear and snack food, considering the girls were in their pajamas before being brought to Middle Earth. Some assassin is going to love the full-sized chainsaw that fits in a pocket.

Magic: the Gathering

 * Unrevealed Guild Wars Rated T. Claimed by doctorlit
 * Summary: Savra, Queen of the Golgari guild tries to penetrate Szadek's facade. A new character, Zadiri, makes the war between the couple more complex and intriguing.
 * The Golgari Guild reanimates Mirri, who died on another world centuries in the past.


 * The Realmswalker Epic Rated T. Claimed by doctorlit
 * Summary: Planeswalkers, incredibly powerful beings, stronger than any others. Other than the Realmswalkers. A young Realmswalker gets into a LOT of trouble. T for insanity. And maybe blood/gore. Enjoy.
 * Good idea. Make a being more powerful than the ones Wizards of the Coast intentionally depowered due to how overpowered they were. Bravo.

Mercedes Lackey

 * Shadow of Beginning T rated. Claimed by Somariel, pending permission.
 * His birth was a foreshadowing of evil to come. The black Companion and his white haired Chosen whose powers are beyond belief. Two young lives twisted by a cruel fate that threatens them and everyone they love.
 * There's so much wrong with the basic concept of this fic that I don't even know where to start. I mean, a black Companion?!


 * A Matter of Choice T rated. Claimed by Somariel, pending permission.
 * These two Hearlds and their Companions were unusual, and that's saying something for every Hearld of Valedmar and their Companion are unique. If they were one of a kind then their child could only be... well read and find out!


 * Demonic Heralds T rated. Claimed by Somariel, pending permission.
 * It was just another day in the great demon kingdom when two white horses showed up and turned the lives of 2 half-breeds upside down. Heralds/Kyo kara Maou x over. rating will go up in later chapers. Conrad/Yozak full summery inside.


 * Trees and Orcses, Precious - T rated. Claimed by dramaticsoprano, pending permission.
 * IT HAS BEEN RAISED FROM THE DEAD! Yeah, so it was originally script, and I reformatted it. Gollum and Treebeard fall in love. Yes, I know I'm strange.

Redwall

 * Bloodrose The Slaver Vixen - K+ rated. Not actually claimed. Should be moved back to 'Unclaimed' ASAP by someone who knows how to do such a thing without majorly screwing up the formatting.
 * Shasta had to bite his tongue to stifle a cry of pain as Bloodrose dragged him away." This is the tale of Shasta, the great-grandson of Martin the Warrior. All my friends have read it and think it's great! PLZ R&R!
 * I love you, Cluny! - M rated. Claimed by L'Homme Arbre
 * Fanfic about love of my character Ratty and Cluny the Scourge
 * This would be bad enough if it was coherent. As it is, it's been Babelfished from Russian, thus rendering it horrifying.


 * Trouble in Noonvale - T rated. Claimed by Italian for Grandma
 * A lost gerbil named Acacia finds her way to Noonvale, hoping to recieve help. But when a rat commits a crime so horrible it is deemed unspeakable, will it be Acacia who helps the Noonvalers, and Aryah, the victim of the rat's crime, in particular?
 * Yes, dear Redwall fans, you read between those lines correctly. Aryah gets raped by some random rat, who appears out of nowhere and disappears just as quickly.
 * IFG's edit: I reviewed the story, and the author responded positively to the criticism. Hence the summary change (interesting how the name Acacia pops up everywhere...). Anyway, I'll keep this here until further notice.

Sherlock Holmes

 * Walk though the fire - T rated. Claimed by doctorlit
 * Summary: What can i say? A teenage girl falls liturally into Sherlock Holmes's bed. Much tot eh confusion of the other inhabitants of 221b baker street. Mgiht be MS dont no yet. Very funny.

Tamora Pierce

 * Elaine of Tortall K+ rated. Claimed by Somariel, pending permission.
 * Elaine is Daine and Numair's child. Travel threw her exciting adventures. I am sorry if this summary isn't good. I am not good at summaries. I am just going to tell u that there will be a love interest, and new frineds. DISCONTINUED! UP FOR ADOPTION!
 * A note from Cinnia: I should have known to expect something like this from a Twihard.


 * Everett's interpretation: Traveler T rated. Claimed by Rose/Ross and Meip.
 * Fara lived on the streets for years before she found Home. Then she is ripped away and transported to Tortall, where two contradicting worlds collide.


 * Fallen Leaves on the Ground T-rated. Claimed by GoblinGirl.
 * Thom of Trebond's daughter wanted nothing more than to blend in, another autumn leaf on the ground. The world simply won't let her forget who she is, and who she's destined to become. Chapter Seven.
 * Note: This isn't marked as an AU, so evidently the author didn't read the books thoroughly and realize that Thom would never marry a noblewoman and have a superspeshul Sue for a daughter. Plus, said daughter would not have been romantically involved with boys four years older than her when she herself was only a ten-year-old. Lack of Logic = Suefic.


 * Frozen Rose K+ rated. Claimed by anamia.
 * This is dedicated to my Best friend! When Briar meets a broken boy, how will he put the pieces together and show the boy that the grass can be greener on the other side. BriarXOC A.K.A SLASH, no like, no read! rating may rise.


 * Prophecy of the Blood Ruby K rated. Claimed by Somariel, pending permission.
 * A bracelet made of blood, a prophecy of the gods, bonded to a creature of legend, adopted by sparrows, and blood binded to a mage! Denied the chance to get her shield, Kel is going on a life changing journey, learning new things. Kel/? r&r please!


 * Run K+ rated. Claimed by Somariel, pending permission.
 * Veralidaine Sarrasri, Wildmage of Tortall you are accused of high treason how do you plead’ the stern voice of one Gary of Naxen asks Chapter nine is up. please R&R Numair X Daine Please R&R

The Thief/Queen's Thief Series

 * I'm Taller When You're Kneeling M rated. Claimed by Rosie Azrael.
 * Sejanus is too damn proud. Eugenides is feeling devious. WARNINGS: M/M; foot licking; violence; abuse of kingly authority; AU-ish. "If I could count on my fingers every time someone's said that to me-" "You'd need your other hand back."


 * "The Thief: A Different Story" T rated. Claimed by Rosie Azrael.
 * Based on 'The Thief' by Megan Turner. What if Eugenides had been a girl?

Twilight

 * Forbiden Fruit the tempation of Edward Cullen M rated. Claimed by PitViperOfDoom.
 * prety but troubled new gal Atlantiana Loren comes to forks and causes quite a stir!She has a dark secret and only edward can help her some to terms with it.but will he remain faithful to bella or give int to his new forbiden passion? no flames pls xoxo
 * Note from PitViper: Not even Twilight deserves this.

Watership Down

 * The Great Journey- K+ rated. Claimed by Astral Void on 3/9/11.
 * a bachelors life is never easy so when a band of bucks decided to leave their warren what dangers and challenges will they face on their journey to make a home for themselves.

Wicked

 * Should Have - T rated. Claimed by Opinioned Angel.
 * Just an ending I put in for school, but I would like to share because I added some extra gore that I did not have my teacher read. Enjoy, how the book should have ended.
 * This is a bad fic. How bad? It made TVTrope's "So Bad it's Horrible List". That should say everything.

Young Wizards

 * Juniour Wizardry K+ rated. Claimed by Elemarth
 * A new Wizard is placed on ordeal while three variations of the Lone Power start attacking Earth. Alanna wust use her eight year old magic to save the universe and many other universes.
 * Spark K+ rated. Claimed by Elemarth
 * Completely revised edition of my older fic by the same name.It has been so long since the Lone One has had anything good in his existence. His spark of life comes in the form of... Nita Callahan?
 * I know it's a reposted revised version and it's not too terrible, but I still have too much of an issue with the Lone Power being thoroughly and stupidly in love with anyone, let alone Nita. Plus, the difficulty of an agent dealing with this one makes me want to do it.

Babylon 5

 * Babylon 5 Amateur Redux: Signs and Portents - T rated. Claimed by Artell.
 * Sergeant Sheridan begins to let her walls down and Commander Sinclair takes a couple of risks.

Burn Notice

 * Burn Notice: Season 8 - T rated. Claimed by Miah 01/18/12
 * FIXED SPELLING MISTAKES. Michael attempts to get Fiona pregnant while doing his client cases and dealing with a madman. REVIEWS R NEEDED. I SWEAR UR ALL PISSING ME OFF

Chuck

 * WHAT - T rated. Claimed by Chatvert.
 * MPREG CASEY X CHUCK. chuck and john are married with three kids
 * Now, I'm not averse to a good Chuck/Casey fic. (I admit it.) But this? This is just mental. P.S. Mpreg. May recruit the wonderspawn. Also, the SPaG is not for the faint of heart.

Doctor Who/Torchwood

 * Alexandra Pond - T rated. Claimed by Silikat.
 * The doctor and Amy fell for eachother. He thinks he's three days late, its been fifteen years.


 * Every Fangirl's Dream - K+ rated. Claimed by raffitz (Pending Permission).
 * "A/N: Yes I know that this story has been done before. I just had to do my own version of this. So sorry in advance if you think I stole your story. Anywho...sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors."
 * How the Doctor Changed My Life Claimed by TheScribe (Permission Pending)
 * "You sat down on your sofa after yet another long day at work, ready to watch the newest episode of Doctor Who ' The Eleventh Hour ' when your TV begins to glow ... READ IF YOU'VE EVER DREAMT OF TRAVELLING WITH THE DOCTOR!"
 * It's in second person. It's a Suefic. Half the words are spelled wrong. She gets canon events totally wrong. All the authors notes are in ALL CAPS. I could keep going all day.

Firefly

 * Sick - K-rated. Claimed by Simon (Permission Pending)
 * This is just a glimpse into the crews semi-normal life after Miranda where Mal takes care of one of his newest and smallest crew members. I own nothig except the little girl. Give it a try, tell me what you think!

My Little Pony: FiM

 * Filling the Gap M rated. Claimed by Fish Custard.
 * Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Tomas all have certain holes in their heart that need to be filled, but when tomas intervines in ponyville, could it be the third character required to fill the gaps? Rainbow x Human, M for sex later.
 * Sweet Apple Massacre M rated WARNING: MAJOR NSFW NSFB. Claimed by Herr Wozzeck
 * Big Macintosh kills the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
 * It makes Cupcakes look absolutely G-rated in comparison. That's all that should need to be said about this fic.

NCIS

 * Blood on the Cross - T rated. Claimed by Miah. 01/24/12
 * After Kate's death a child is left without a mother, with the help of her family she begins to heal... but what happens when she discovers that she is not an only child.
 * Desperate Measures - M rated. Claimed by Miah.
 * Tony has been in some serious situations before, but this has to be one of the worst.SLASH fic.

Psych

 * Like Father Like Daughter - T rated. Claimed by Miah 6/15/11
 * Hello! this is my first Psych fic ever! so plz give it a try! What happens when you throw in the Psych mix...Shawns daughter? Yes!our beloved psychic has a kid and she is as smartass as herfather but she has a secret! I can feeel that you want to read it

Sanctuary

 * What's in a name Roses wine and pain - M rated. NSFW. Claimed by Pretzel 6/15/11
 * John Druitt/Nikola Tesla SLASH, dubcon, angst, VERY DARK Everyone knows that true power is given, not taken.

The Simpsons

 * Lisa is Pregnant T Rated. Claimed by Opinioned Angel
 * Bart and Lisa are freezing on the mountains. With death staring at them in the face, Bart proposes a last resort. Later, Lisa awakens to find out Bart is dead and she is a mother!
 * What... just... WHAT.

Stargate SG-1/Atlantis

 * Love is a form of Insanity - M rated, NSFW/NSFB. Claimed by Silverwind (Pending Permission)
 * A John Shepard Wraith Queen fic that spits in the eye of all logic and reason.


 * Claimed by Caddy-Shack
 * Sheppard/McKay AU John never had a family. He was military, raised from birth knowing what his future held. He was destined protect and sleep with some genius scientist for his country. What he never expected was to love and be loved. SLASH
 * The world is changed into a tolatarian state, child soldiers, 95% of the population is forcefully sterilized, and forced breeding programs. The characters are thrown for a nice, large twist.

Supernatural

 * The Path Unwinding and its sequel The Path Unwinding part 2: Winchester Legacy T & K rated- Claimed by Sonnen (Permission pending)
 * Dean and Sam pick up a new member on their team in the battle for the world. Will she be a help or a hindrance?Set Season 3/4,Dean has a year left, and he wants it to count.First Supernatural fic - Don't own anything! Let me know what you think!

The Real Ghostbusters

 * Hot Night in NYC - Rated Adult++, Very NSFW, Claimed by Data Junkie
 * Janine is rather horny and enlists the help of a... special prostitute. COMPLETE, F/F, F/D, Oneshot
 * Oh dear god, where do I begin? There are just so many things wrong with this story, starting with the fact that it's not even in the right category. Despite the story being about characters from, and taking place in the world of, The Real Ghostbusters cartoon, it managed to end up submitted under the Filmation Ghostbusters cartoon, which was not actually part of the Ghostbusters franchise.

Thundercats

 * Song of the Twins claimed by Meta.
 * Lion-O's long lost twin sister 'Lioness-A' shows up and helps in the creation of a multitude of Mini Snarfs, including ThunDera, New ThunDera and Claud-Us. That's just chapter one of this ten chapter beast.

Borderlands

 * Borderlands: a lOVE sTORY - Rated M. Claimed by MAXinsanity (who is pending permisson).
 * This should not exist in any way, shape or form, yet it does anyway...

Dragon Age

 * Gabriel Hawke - Rated M. Claimed by Herr Wozzeck
 * Gabriel is a narcissistic ruthless bisexual bastard who tries to find his fix of violence and pleasure while living his new life in Kirkwall, see how he reacts on his companions and his attraction to them, will he finally found someone he cares about?
 * Essentially: Hawke, the psychopath. The fact that his psychopathy is taken beyond canon levels is really bad, particularly when everything concerning his bisexuality comes to the forefront.

Final Fantasy

 * Final Fantasy XIII: Race for Victory, rated K, claimed by Wide Eyed Idealist
 * An abysmally premised thing that is apparently supposed to be a transplantation of the Final Fantasy XIII cast into Mario Kart's world (not that you could tell that from the description, since it's a particularly awful scriptfic). Requires pretty much a full-cast exorcism.


 * Im In Gaia? AWESOME!, rated T, claimed by Tiroth, using Agents Smith and Ton
 * Lena is a lonely 17 year old girl who just secretly wanted real friends but she got sucked into her favorite video game and must prevent the tragic deaths of everyone in Gaia! Will she succeed?


 * Cloud Mows the Lawn - X rated, NSFW, NSFB, claimed by SolusLunes (pending Permission) (5/5/2011)
 * Cloud mows the lawn while Tifa watches. She is so engrossed that she craps on the floor while watching him. He comes back in and they promptly discover that they both get turned on by poop. Guess what happens next...
 * Aerith comes back from the dead just to engage in the scat play. I have no words for this.
 * I can see this taking a full character replacement massacre. Oh happy day.

Halo

 * Story of My Life - T-rated. Claimed by Maslab
 * The name is Annabelle Lucas. I am the first daughter of the United States of America and my dad mysteriously dies. He signed a treaty with the aliens that just tried to kill the human race. Theres a bunch of rumors going around and I keep access my dad's documents because it's classified whats a girl to do?

Kingdom Hearts

 * Yellow as Blood, Red as the Sun - M rated. Claimed by PoorCynic
 * Axel was a vampire, and Roxas was a ragdoll. They hated each other. Fearing for the town's safety, Halloween Town decides that a arranged marriage will fix everything!...Yeah, OKAY. AkuRoku For Katie Lemons, Violence, Mpeg eventually. Ch. 8 up!
 * The Horribly Bloody Death of Kairi- M rated. - Claimed by Wide Eyed Idealist.
 * Kairi is derailed into an idiotic slut and bizarrely, violently murdered by Sora and Riku for getting in the way of their love hideously written and improbable slash. If anything deserves a "horribly bloody death", it is this fic. The author has done a couple of other Kairi-bashing badfics, one of which is also slash, and evidently intends to make a Suefic. I'll deal with them too
 * Colors of the Worlds -T rated. - Claimed by Shattered Sanity
 * Insert Kingdom Hearts characters in place of main characters of Pochahontas, paste in songs from the movie, add a few OCs just for good measure. The sad thing is that this author has done this a few times now, each for different animated movies.

Left 4 Dead

 * Watching Over Her - M rated
 * Zoey finds herself in an unusual situation after a Boomer vomits on the Survivors as they're fighting a horde. Rated M just to be safe. 2-CHAPTER SEQUEL IS CURRENTLY BEING WRITTEN! - User:PitViperOfDoom

Legend of Zelda

 * Bloody Tears - K+ Rated - Claimed by Ray Chell, August 10, 2011
 * Link has gotten himself into a bit of trouble so what do the Goddesses of Hyrule do they call on the one with Bloody Tears who is a stranger to their world and has no idea who the hero of time is Not OCxLink Will Be Confusing Mostly Experimental
 * My Inner Life (Link goes to a "shrine" to the author made by "fans" when original story was removed) - M-rated (NSFW) Claimed by Caddy-Shack
 * This is what happens when a fangirl starts to think that her lucid dreams about Link are actually a real second life that she lives. Complete with squicky bonding ceremony and total character derailment of every character who has ever interacted with Link. Did I mention that the writer truly believes that everything in the story has actually happened to her?
 * So, I read this recently, and found it endlessly hilarious. Like, seriously. The beginning rant is AMAZING material.

Mario

 * Luigi and Peasley's Summer Blossom - T rated. NSFB Claimed by Sneezier (Pending Permission)
 * A Mario mpreg I did out of boredom. Summary: Luigi's pregnant. Who's the father? Prince Peasley! What will happen? Will it turn out okay?
 * Aside from the Mpreg, most of the cast suffer from various degrees of OOC (Bowser Jr. being the most severe), four Mary Sues in total, unofficial cannon character death. I nicknamed this fic: Frozen Hell. This is one of my motives to join the PPC.


 * Blue Shelled Lover - Rated M NSFW Claimed by Sneezier (Pending Permission)
 * Kooper travels the Mushroom Kingdom during a time where almost evrey female is filled with lust and desire. Taking chapter requests. Contains: sex, rape, yaoi, and more... based on your decision
 * Contains Littlefoot x Cera style anatomy errors. Specifically reptiles with mammal sex organs.
 * Goomba incest in chapter 2

Mass Effect

 * Mass Effect: Invasion of the Reapers - M rated. Claimed by Herr Wozzeck
 * The brother of John Shepard first human spectre and savior of the citadel is nothing more than your average guy. Until he learned of his brother's fate
 * Shepard gets a non-canon brother who goes on adventures on a new Normandy. Let's just say there are numerous plot holes and plot conveniences, a Gary Stu, and a couple of scientific impossibilities with this one.
 * Parallel Realities - M rated. Claimed by Herr Wozzeck and Maslab
 * Shepard is a being from a parallel universe who came to the Mass Effect Galaxy to bring Cerberus to justice after the crimes they committed against his galaxy, only to find a greater threat to not just ME's Galaxy but his own.
 * Probably the single silliest AU fanfic I've ever read, period. It's got quite a few plot holes, mystical elements that don't really go anywhere, and a Shepard who is an extremely obvious Stu. It's at least creative, though.
 * Welcome to Mass Effect? Aw Crap! - T Rated. Claimed by Herr Wozzeck
 * When a 14 year old girl and her 16 year old brother end up in the Mass Effect universe, they must learn to survive. Along the way they make new friends, find their true family, and maybe even... Love? O.o' NOTE: Crappy summary better story.
 * A Sue and a Stu get onto Omega and warp the characters of pretty much everyone in the area. It's also setting up a ridiculous and plot-hole ridden backstory for them. Oh, and it has holographic roller blades.
 * ADDITIONAL NOTE*: The author herself responded well to concrit, and in addition to rewriting it (and actually fixing some of the errors) has given permission for me to spork it.

Mega Man

 * The light of a smile - K+ rated. Claimed by Phobos March 8, 2011.
 * Netto and his friends have a new classmate,she seemed a bit depressed and why Enzan feel like he knows her? ENZANxOc BLUESxOc a bit of NETTOxMEIRU and ROCKxROLL Read/Review

Persona

 * Admiration - M rated, NSFW, NSFB. Claimed by Makari
 * Everybody knows that Ken adores Akihiko, but how extreme is that adoration? WARNING: Contains shota, yaoi, KenXAkihito oneshot.Please R&R
 * In addition to the shota, dubious grammar, format, spelling, nonexistent plot and lube.

Pokemon

 * Alex’s Contest Chronicles - Rated K. Claimed by The Warrior of Many Faces (pending permission)
 * This is a Journey Fan-Fiction about me, Alex and my way to be Top-Coordinator.
 * The Stu has an Eevee (which was supposed to be his friend’s, but imprinted on him, and the friend isn’t even mad. How utterly insane), and also catches a wild Chimchar. In Kanto. That’d be bad enough, but the Stuthor also appears to have missed the existence of quotation marks and paragraph divisions. Very kill-worthy.


 * It is Wendi in Johto - Rated T. Claimed by The Warrior of Many Faces (pending permission)
 * Wendi is a rich snob and She going to become a pokemon trainer
 * While the Suethor says that the Sue will change into a more realistic character later, I have difficulty believing that, since she gets a Scyther about a day into her journey and finds a Ralts in Johto, which is slightly plausible since the Ralts’ trainer abandoned the Ralts, but still. Plus we find out about that through plothole. Additionally, bad grammar, punctuation issues, and generally bland storytelling. Will happily kill.


 * The Day I Became Mew - Rated K+. Claimed by Goldenrod111 (pending permission)
 * Natasha makes a wish. Universe answers but in a most humorous way. Does Natasha have what it takes to be a Legendary? Who will she meet along the way? What trouble could she possibly get into? Original Character!
 * Blatant wish-fulfillment Sue, various other idiocy.


 * Pokemorph I Heros - M rated. Also claimed by MAXinsanity (Pending Permission)
 * TERRIBLE. That's all that can describe it...


 * a new journy M rate. again claimed by MAXinsanity. (Who is pending permission)
 * Ugh. I'm not sure if this one is worse than the one above...


 * Wabloo Swabloo - Rated K. Potentially NSFB. Claimed by Clockwork Artichoke (Permission Pending)
 * Some kind of blob of words mashed together semi-randomly. I'm not kidding. It doesn't have ANY coherence whatsoever.
 * Mission may end up failing since this thing's so bizarre. Hmm.
 * This can barely be called a fic- it looks more like the English language just vomited.

Portal

 * ITS MY LIFE! claimed by Jacer pending Permission. Rated T. NSFB. NSFW due to the author's belief that "wank" is a British swear. Wheatley uses it copiously.
 * Hi my name is Marrissa Roberts an I was in Portal Labs two with Chell an Wheetly. This is my life! THE FINAL CHAPTER IS NOW RELEASED ITS THE MOST EPIC ONE YET SO REED IT!
 * Probably a troll fic. Essentially the My Immortal of Portal. Minis abound, as does hideous SPaG. Mary Sue, character replacements, time travel, evil twins, robots having children, and more.

Prince of Persia

 * The God of Time - Rated T. Claimed by Sister-to-the-Queen (permission pending)
 * The pain of the past exists even for Kaileena, and she is forced to relive it as her and the Prince return to the land of her birth, and the hell of her father. The God of Time. Prince x Kaileena
 * Wellllll now... I'll be brief. What we have here is a disastrously OOC, totally disturbing (even for what it is) 'little-girls-like-getting-raped-by-daddy'-fic, with Kaileena as the little girl in question, the God of Time (OC) as daddy, and the Prince as a sickening blend of lecher, therapy counsellor, crybaby and prudish priest. And the author couldn't string a decent sentence together to save his (yes, his ) life. Add to that a bunch of utterly weird (and sick) OC's, and you're all set for this fun ride! Hahaha... Shoot me. Now.
 * We also get at least four mini-Dahakas (my idea), namely Kaileeena, Kailleena, the Pirnce and Shadi.
 * While this mission is in the works, click here to find out what I think of this horror, and what the mission will be like.

Resident Evil

 * http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2505916/1/Resident_Evil_Stay_Alive Claimed by Advanced Licker (Permission pending) July 10th, 2011.
 * Stuck in a game, Rick and I have to survive and beat them all in order to get back out.We encounter all the cool characters, and try to keep a low profile.Although, I am a very out spoken person... dun dun DUUUUUUUN!Chp.78 up! Sorry for wait!
 * Okay, so this is so bad that I want to cry. Geography errors, nonsensical descriptions, OOC-ness, grammar issues, the timeline was murdered, loads of things are misplaced... It's still not done yet, but the Sue in it is really bad. I also really don't want the author to find out.

Silent Hill

 * Broken Pieces - Rated M. NSFW. Possibly NSFB. Claimed by Teddy Leach (Permission pending)
 * James Sunderland has been in silent hill for just a few weeks and he is already broken can a 7 year old blond girl pick up the pieces that was once James Sunderland? WARNING VERY VERY MILD RAPE OF JAMES/OC===
 * Fatal Fascination - Rated M. NSFW. Claimed by Fish Custard
 * Consumed by a psychotic mind & driven by Instinct, Pyramid Head knows nothing but suffering. But when a young girl escapes the church & crosses paths with the demon, he must fight for his sanity and what he has come to love more than the taste of blood...
 * Girl falls mutually in love with Pyramid Head, gives him a stupid name, what more do you need to know? It's just awful on so many levels.

Sonic the Hedgehog

 * 5 Years of Missing Clone K Rated. Claimed by Opinioned Angel
 * 5 Years ago, Amy was kidnapped and cloned. The clone was sent to kill Sonic and Shadow. Real Amy escaped, killed Eggman, became a warrior godling, theif, and assassin. Where does love fit in? IDK what pairing. MY guess, ShadamySon...For now. LOL!

StarFox

 * "New World Order I: A planets Corupption" - M Rated. Claimed by Herr Wozzeck
 * When earth is ruled by a world government, a man named Jason tries to resist, so he teleports himself to the Lylat System in search of help. Krystal x Human OC. Read and Review. Rated M for Sexual Content at the end. COMPLETE. Book 2 coming soon. AU
 * Jason is a blatant Marty Stu who romances Krystal while battling his evil twin. Yes, an evil twin, and that's not even getting into what the author did to Fox. Also, the plot makes absolutely no sense.

Tales of Symphonia

 * Ask The ToS Cast - T-rated. Claimed by AmitiRequiem (Permission Pending)
 * Summary: Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask them? See how they would respond? Well now you have the chance! Read this, then review telling me your question! you'll get your answer, i promise you that

Touhou

 * From the Sky and Beyond - T rated - Claimed by Firebird766
 * A man was trying to live a normal life until Flandre Scarlet literally fell into his hands. At that point, his life ceased being normal as he was pulled into a conflict that threatens both his world and Gensokyo.

World of Warcraft
The Island - rated T. Claimed by Phobos 10/25/2011 Tell Tale Heart Claimed by ShatteredSanity
 * Deathwing, the Aspect of Death, and Alexstrasza, the Aspect of life, have been stranded on a mysterious island after a group of adventures attacked N'Zath during a conflict between the two. Now they must survive together, and survive the emotions the have
 * You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen. Two of the most powerful beings in the World (of Warcraft), an Old God, and geographical aberrations. How can one pair of agents hope to overcome all of that? Answer: they can't. This will be a multi-department operation.
 * Abandoned by his own people and left for dead at the Sunwell, Kael'thas' only hope lies in the form of a druid. But this druid is something else entirely. Romance and Hurt/Comfort. What's not to like?
 * How about a wussy Kael'thas being revived after his cannonical death, OOC characters, and a warped timeline? Not to mention a Mary Sue.

Warhammer 40,000

 * "Ciaphas Cain in deep" - Rated well above NC-17. Claimed by nakkel.
 * The summary largely speaks for itself, being largely comprised of a laundry list of sex acts. Pointless, plotless porn that would be hilarious if it wasn't so badly written. Contains none of the humor or character of the original novels. NSFW, NSFB

Bandfic

 * Finding Fate - T rated - Claimed by Laburnum
 * This is my first Gorillaz fanfic. I think it will get better as it goes. I Made another chapter as well. This is Noodle finds a girl, and she falls in love with her, yuri. not heavy though.
 * (I didn't think it was possible to have biology fail by Gorillaz standards, but ... GUNSHOT WOUNDS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY.)


 * Goodbye - T rated - Claimed by PitViperOfDoom
 * It wasn't meant to happen this way,but then again nothing ever happens the way we want it. Oneshot. Character Death.
 * Quite frankly, it's sappier than a bottle of maple syrup. I do want that cat, however.