Canon Catapult

A relative of the Canon Cannon, this is a period-appropriate device for all of your Lord of the Rings and medieval-based PPCing needs. It's covered with "runes of warding," a.k.a. the emblazoned logos of several departments. There's a control panel that allows you to program what continuum you're in, how far you want the 'Sue to be thrown, and even a specific location. For instance, if you're in Lothlorien and you don't feel like going all the way to Mount Doom to dump your Sue, you can punch in your current geographical location (preferably with latitude and longitude) and the location to which you want your Sue to fly, then you pull the lever and off she goes!

It's much more entertaining than just portalling to the location, though it sometimes takes longer. New models can be rather testy if they haven't had their morning cup of coffee. Finally, it hooks up to a microphone, so that you can hear the end result of your catapulting.