No, Marty Stu, We Expect You to Die

For Your Eyes Only is a truly, truly horrifying fanfic in the Naruto fandom. Despite the title, it has nothing to do with James Bond. It takes place in an AU which resembles 21st-century Real World Japan except, for reasons which presumably make sense to the author, all the student characters have been transformed into hermaphroditic toddler-like beings with animal ears and tails. Despite the fact that they still have human intelligence, speak human languages, and are permitted to own property and money, they are the "pets" of the adult characters, and have no rights over their own living conditions or breeding cycles. The author completely fails to notice anything remotely creepy about this. Also, even though they're supposed to be hermaphrodites, and their human mono-gendered selves are not like this at all, they fulfill every single offensive gender stereotype possible to the extent that one wonders if the author was using a checklist. Every single one of the characters, "pets" and humans alike, are so OOC they could not see their normal selves with the Hubble telescope, and the author portrays rape turning to Twu Wuv in a skin-crawlingly off-hand manner.

Specifically, Uzumaki Naruto, far from being the troublemaking yet ambitious young ninja we know and love, is transformed into a miniature cat-person who is supposed to be sixteen but behaves like a bad cartoon's depiction of a two-year-old girl, complete with nauseating babytalk. "He" (he's a hermaphrodite who acts like the worst stereotype of a cutesy little girl imaginable, but the author continues to use male pronouns for him) goes into heat, and his "owner" Iruka takes him to the Icha Icha Love Love Pet Breeding Agency, where he is dumped in a room with Sasuke, also a cat-person and now the pet of Kakashi, who forcibly mates with him. Naruto, of course, enjoys this.

Later on, Sakura, who has become a rabbit-person and a slut who would put Luxury to shame (according to the author, though she only actually even tries to have sex with one character and doesn't succeed), offers to mate with Sasuke when Naruto is not around. In return, he rips her to shreds, and the humans care more about the mess than the fact that a sapient being has died.

Oh, and did we mention that with the hermaphroditic pets the uterus is connected to the rectum and only Ukes grow a vagina later on?

Or that, according to extrinsic evidence, the concept for this fic doesn't even belong to the author, but was stolen from a doujinshi entitled Nekotama, which he didn't credit?

The Sakura-based rabbit and Hinata-based mouse have been rescued, renamed "Cheri" and "Luna", and adopted by Nurse Valerie Christaki. The tadpole and raccoon babies born from the union of Gaara and Lee's replacements have been adopted in turn by Cheri and Luna, and starting December 2007 Luna was pregnant with Naruto and Sasuke's kitten, new names pending revelation. All are medicated to prevent further Sue behaviour, and are being trained to think like independent beings rather than pets. The kitten has been named Uzumaki Pompom.

Demise
Most of the pets and human character replacements were trapped in the breeding centre, which was crushed by the Kyuubi. With no Sues or Stus to sustain it, the AU selfdestructed only a few seconds later. The two main Stus, Naruto and Sasuke, were captured and taken to the Official Fanfiction University of Naruto for public execution, report pending.

Incidentally, the author's Fanfiction.net account links to his blog, as the agents learned. Although direct action against an author is not condoned by the Authors of the mission or the Real World PPC in general, within the fictional universe the Flowers have indicated they would be willing to look the other way in this case. After all, it was his choice to post the blog where people could find it.

Links
The story can be found here. Keep some Bleeprin handy.

The mission can be found here, and like the fic it is NSFW and NSFB:
 * For Your Eyes Only Part 1
 * For Your Eyes Only Part 2
 * For Your Eyes Only Part 3
 * For Your Eyes Only Part 4