Lapis Lazuli

"'I know what you want to say. That badfic can produce horrors like Sweet Apple Massacre, horrors that could potentially lead to the deaths of canons, or even agents. That badfic can literally end lives at the drop of a hat. My response? All the more reason to combat it, to prevent it from festering and producing such horrors. The more badfics we dispose of, the less likely we'll lose the things we love—and f-for that matter, the p-people we love.'""— 'Earth, Wind, and Ire,' Act 3" Lapis Armenus Lazuli is an ex-Mary Sue and an agent in the Department of Implausible Crossovers. She is written by SkarmorySilver.

Appearance
Lapis is very young for an agent—though in her defense, the Pokémon universe allows kids as young as ten to run around with fire-breathing dragons, man-eating plants, giant birds of prey, electric rodents of unusual size, and other such monstrosities (at least in the anime sub-continuum, which she's from). As such, she isn't well-built for sustained combat the way her partners are, but her lanky build belies surprising speed and agility, a side-effect of her tendency to panic more than she likes to. Her large eyes are bright blue, and her hair was explicitly described in her homefic as being "royal blue with streaks of baby blue"; she has to use spray-on hair dye to give her hair a single uniform color job. Another quirk from her homefic is that she has six rows of razor-sharp, replaceable, shark-like teeth, giving her a nasty bite which she is somewhat reluctant to use unless she's cornered. Lapis dresses in blue with magenta accents; her long-sleeved, wave-patterned shirt has two fin-like straps flowing from the waistline and leaves her midriff bare; her pants and shoes are more conservative. She wears a necklace with a pendant carved from her namesake stone, and wields a weapon known as Amphitrite, a battle-staff with trident-like blades on each end.

As of her fourth mission, Lapis has lost her right hand, and has to use prosthetic attachments to do things. Normally, she has a standard mechanical hand attached, though on missions she may also use custom-made RAs, C-CADs, and other sundry devices. Her hairstyle has also changed into a more uniform shade of ocean blue, with odango-style buns and shoulder-length pigtails.

Being an anime character, Lapis also tends to exhibit anime visual tics at times. These can range from giant sweat-drops of frustration/embarrassment to her face turning red or blue in anger or dismay, respectively; cross-popping vein marks of rage are not uncommon. By contrast, her eyes often turn into pink hearts upon reacting to stuff she loves, though precisely how that happens has baffled biologists for years.

Needless to say, Lapis should not be mistaken for the Steven Universe character of the same name. In missions to this continuum, she will be referred to as either Agent!Lapis or as "Pi," her nickname in her homefic, to avoid possible confusion.

Abilities
As a Mary Sue, Lapis had the hallmark abilities of Sues specific to her home continuum, courtesy of a link to a fanmade legendary: advanced hydrokinesis, spellcasting, the ability to speak to Pokémon, and an extremely powerful "super mode" which activated when she was enraged or threatened. When she arrived at the PPC, all of these abilities vanished, leaving only rudimentary water manipulation behind. Because all of her talent was due to the link with the legendary Pokémon, she doesn't have these powers anymore, so most of the time she just uses her trident if she is forced to fight.

The other ability that Lapis brought to the PPC was plot hole generation, a common trait of Sues but one that they rarely exploit, due to most of them not being aware of said trait. Lapis uses her plot holes to teleport herself and others from place to place, but she's much better at it when her destination is somewhere she's already been. She's learned the hard way that plot holes are a terrible short-notice escape mechanism, as the Ironic Overpower ensures that they drop her in the most inopportune of situations. She lost this power, along with her right hand, after an unfortunate encounter with a God-mode Stu on her fourth mission, and she now has to use an RA like other agents do.

Personality
The first response Lapis has to just about anything is to panic. A lot. The [BEEP!] of the console is often followed by her screaming in terror and scrambling to find a hiding place. On missions, this could present problems because even the slightest things could cause her to freak out and inadvertently cause trouble. As such, she's reluctant to go into more dangerous continua, and her overly cautious attitude contrasts with her partners' enthusiasm for the Duty. The fact that she was once a Mary Sue who ended up in the PPC HQ completely by accident may have had something to do with it, and many have attributed her regular bouts of anxiety to irrational paranoia. Worse still, an ill-fated encounter with another agent in the late summer of 2015 has led to her becoming increasingly bitter and irritable, prone to holding petty grudges and lashing out at even close friends in fits of self-righteous anger.

Between this neurotic attitude and her youthful appearance, however, it would be hard to guess that she's the most responsible agent in RC 333 by quite a margin, and when she isn't ranting or freaking out, she's actually quite amicable and caring, albeit a bit of a wisecracker. Her creative history and her attentiveness to much of the latest gossip around the PPC HQ has given her a rather street-smart mentality, and she shows a surprising amount of maturity for a thirteen-year-old girl (though she still fangirls from time to time, especially over daikaiju and other monstrous things). If her partners start spazzing out over stuff they like or hate, it often falls upon her to keep them from rushing in too early, though her inexperience makes it harder for her than most other people.

Starting sometime during December 2015, Lapis learned that her nationality is Caucasian/Armenian (her father came from Unova, and her mother from the hypothetical equivalent of Armenia in the Pokémon universe), and she has since been learning Armenian as a second language.

Lapis is currently responsible for the following:
 * Triton, an Oshawott who was given to her as a therapy pet while at the Nursery
 * Dr. serizawa, a mini-Godzilla
 * Melody POV, a pov
 * Water benders, a mini-Unagi
 * Azien, a mini-Menos Grande

Agent History
Lapis was originally a Mary Sue from a Pokémon badfic on DeviantART that also included cameos of characters from various other continua. A typical Pokémon Sue, she was a traveling companion of Ash Ketchum as he made his way through a new region populated by fanmade Pokémon—though unusually, she didn't establish a romantic relationship with Ash, or any other canons for that matter, and displayed quite a lot of knowledge about the Pokémon continuum as a whole. When the author tired of writing the badfic and left dA, he presumably returned the "fakemon" to their original creators, sent the canons back to their original continua, and destroyed the world of the badfic, leaving only a few survivors to wander the multiverse.

One of these survivors was a little blue-haired girl who ended up falling through a plot hole of her own creation in her bid to escape the badfic apocalypse. Unfortunately, she landed in the worst possible place: an organization devoted to killing Sues like her. Terrified and emotionally scarred, Lapis was soon discovered by Agent Rayner and his first partner, and one overwhelming fit of anxiety later, she was whisked off to FicPsych, where she first learned about the PPC and what it did.

Lapis stayed at the Nursery for two years before it was decided that she was ready for training, during which she practiced with the abilities she was left with upon exiting her homefic. She would ultimately be assigned to the DIC in March 2015, whereupon she would meet her partners and get dragged into their first mission together on the same day.

For the poor blue-haired girl, it was all downhill from there...

Timeline
All dates are given in HQ Standard Time.


 * 2013
 * Escapes her homefic and stumbles upon the PPC HQ. Is discovered and taken to FicPsych by Rayner Blitzkrieg and Nicholas Abbey. Later meets Aiko Kimura and starts a bit of a rivalry.
 * 2015
 * March 22
 * Is assigned to the DIC with Sarah Katherine Squall and Cupid Carmine. Immediately sent on her first recorded mission.
 * March 28
 * Second recorded mission.
 * April 4
 * Third recorded mission.
 * April 11
 * Fourth recorded mission. Loses a hand and very nearly her life; is later sent to Medical, where she recounts her past to her partners.
 * August 2
 * Fifth recorded mission. Meets and befriends DMS agents Chakkik and Stephanie Podd.
 * August 30
 * Gets into a fight with a disgruntled Monado-toting assassin and storms out on the team. Later invites herself to assist an old friend and his new partner with a mission of their own.
 * Encounters Aiko again when the Body Swap incident forces her into hiding.
 * November 16
 * Bumps into someone at Rudi's and is forced to confront the painful truth.
 * December 3
 * Seventh recorded mission.
 * December 10
 * Invited as a guest to Valon and Kala's wedding.
 * December 15
 * Is reluctantly brought in to help Cupid, Backslash, and Whitney with a rather bleach-worthy crossover.
 * 2016
 * January 1
 * Takes part in the second annual New Year's Gift Exchange.
 * May 17
 * Participates in an impromptu Karaoke night.
 * June 1
 * Runs into Aiko once again. Not happy about it.
 * June 7
 * Attempts to host a slumber party with a few friends, and Aiko. Mistakes are made; ninth recorded mission and newfound self-respect ensue.
 * 2018
 * November 12
 * Receives some tragic news.
 * Mid-2020s
 * Transfers to the DIAU.
 * 2036
 * Learns the hard way that she's not actually a good babysitter.

Mission Logs
Home: RC 333

Partnered with Sarah and Cupid

 * Mission One: "The Day of Reckoning," Part One and Part Two
 * In which a new agent is introduced, Cupid is tickle-attacked, and Sarah is hopelessly confused.
 * Original fanfic: "Criminal MindsSSBB: Reckoning" (Super Smash Bros. x Criminal Minds)
 * Mission Two: "Giant Sonic All-Out Attack," with Alex Dives
 * In which the expression "The bigger they are, the harder they fall" gets a whole new meaning.
 * Original fanfic: "GODZILLA, KING OF THE MONSTERS!" (Godzilla x Sonic Universe x a couple other things)
 * Mission Three: "Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry Series"
 * In which a story talks too little and says even littler.
 * Original fanfic: "Devil May Cry The alternate Universe" (Devil May Cry x Kingdom Hearts)
 * Mission Four: "A Feudal Nightmare"
 * In which the gang deals with the deadly combination of a wildly changing story format and a God-mode Stu.
 * Original fanfic: "A Feudel Dream" (Inuyasha x Super Smash Bros. x Hunter: The Reckoning)
 * Interlude One: "Bitter Memories," with Agent Velociripper, Alex Dives, Panacea, and Sister January
 * In which Lapis finally comes clean.
 * Original fanfic: "Pokemon: Iron and Copper" (Pokémon x Avatar: The Last Airbender x some other things)
 * Mission Seven: "In Other News, Water is Wet," with Agents Chakkik and Stephanie Podd (collab with Voyd)
 * In which two agent teams hit the beach... along with three unsuspecting pirate Stus.
 * Original fanfic: "The Pirate, the Fairy, and the Mermaid" (Pirates of the Caribbean x The Little Mermaid x Fairies of Neverland)
 * Interlude Three: "Watch Where You're Going!", with Agent Falchion
 * In which an author’s persona meets his embarrassing old OC.
 * Mission Nine: "Earth, Wind, and Ire," with Agents Rayner Blitzkrieg and Evangeline von Lilith (DMS)
 * In which Bring Your Kid To Work Day doesn't go quite as planned.
 * Original fanfic: "Avatar: The Legend of Keyx Book 1: Earth" (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
 * Mission Ten: "Open the Door, Get on the Floor," with Agent Velociripper (DF)
 * In which everybody walks the dinosaur.
 * Original fanfic: "Jurassic Equestria" (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic x Jurassic Park)
 * Mission Thirteen: "Girls' Night Out," Part 1 and Part 2, with Agents Ami Seeker and Violet Rose Greenfield (DF), Agent Aiko Kimura (DF), and Seung-Li Kim (DoSAT)
 * In which Sarah and Lapis try—and fail—to host a PPC-edition slumber party.
 * Original fanfic: "Project Conversion" (Steven Universe x One Piece x Fairy Tail x Naruto)

Other Appearances

 * "Child's Play" - Gets into an argument with an old nemesis.
 * "Shenanigans at FicPsych" - Cameos at the end with Cupid and Stephanie.
 * "The Gods Must Be Crazy" - Cameos in the pre-mission.
 * "Witches Get Stitches," with Agents Backslash and Whitney (DMS - Video Games Division)
 * In which Backslash's past misdemeanor comes back to bite him. No, not literally!
 * Original fanfic: "hybrid link" (Bayonetta x Bleach)
 * Note: Cupid also appears in this mission, but Sarah doesn't.
 * "Twenty Years Hence: Adventures in Squid Sitting" - Lapis is not, and never will be, good with kids.