Velociripper


 * "If we succeed in today's hunt, I could derive sustenance from [Dark Yagami's] genitalia alone for at least a month."
 * &mdash;"Don't Fear The Reaper," Act 2

Velociripper, or "Ripper" for short, is an ex-Stuvian Deinonychus and an agent in the Department of Mary Sues, formerly in the Department of Floaters. He is written by SkarmorySilver.

Appearance
When Ripper was still a Gary Stu, he was not like any canonical depictions of the "Velociraptors" in Jurassic Park - in fact, he was much closer in appearance to a Deinonychus or Utahraptor, which is closer to the size range of the raptors in the films. More importantly, he was also more scientifically accurate, and was specifically described in his homefic as being covered in blood-red feathers with menacing yellow eyes. The look this gave him would have borne an uncanny resemblance to an oversized, flightless hawk or eagle, except with a long tail, a snout full of sharp teeth instead of a beak, flightless, clawed wings, and an six-inch, retractable claw on each second toe. Additions provided by his homefic included a pair of laser blasters strapped to his torso, a cybertronic left eye, adamantium claws and, thanks to a strange choice of words, an "eery" glow throughout his whole body - the Suvian color being described as "a disturbing, almost terrifying shade of red."

Ripper's unfortunate demise by the teeth of the Tylosaurus, King Krok, was not actually the end of him as the PPC suspected. The mosasaur regurgitated his skeleton shortly after he was delivered to the PPC HQ, with the organic matter contained within his skeleton still intact. Like the Gary Stu he so hated, he could regenerate from even mortal wounds, but the digestive process took a horrible toll. Ripper no longer has his "eery" glow, or any of his Suvian qualities for that matter, but though technically alive, he looks unnervingly corpse-like, as though he's been stuffed by a taxidermist. Being quite skinny for his age and with ragged, scraggly feathers, he is far from the proud, imposing creature he once was, but he retains his red plumage, yellow eyes, and overall menacing appearance. Ripper's disguises vary depending on the continuum he's visiting, but his most common human disguise is similar to the humanoid form he had in his homefic. He looks similar to Light Yagami from Death Note (one of his favorite characters, unsurprisingly), but he is six feet tall, with slick, reddish brown hair, hazel eyes, and a lanky, skinny frame. He almost always dresses in dull, earthy tones of brown and gray, in a bid to look as inconspicuous as possible.

Powers
Ripper used to have a variety of Suvian abilities—an alternate human form, laser blasters, claws that could rip through steel, and instant regeneration. They were taken away from him when King Krok digested almost all of his glitter, leaving only a fraction of his power behind. Being based on the Jurassic Park "raptors," he is capable of great bursts of speed, though his stocky legs prevent him from maintaining a high-speed pursuit for long, and he is also an excellent jumper, able to clear 20 feet from a standing start.

The ex-Stuvian raptor has retained his adamantium claws, and in particular the ones on each second toe are useful for what is known as the "Raptor Prey Restraint" technique, abbreviated as RPR (hence his nickname), his primary tactic for Mary Sue assassination. Though he used to eat his prey alive for shock value, he now accepts that the PPC is all about quick, efficient Sue deaths; he prefers to pin down his victims with his talons and snap their necks/crush their skulls with his powerful jaws, killing them instantly.

Personality
Ripper is rather stoic and apathetic, but also coldly intelligent and calculating. As a non-human creature who was forcibly converted into a human (and an expy of Light Yagami, no less), he believes his initial transformation has had more costs than benefits, and although the experimentation that led to this gave him sentience and prodigy-level brilliance, it also presented values that were unfamiliar and painted in a harsh light. He has since chosen to think on a different level than other agents do, so while he would be able to observe breaches from canon with as much skill as any other agent, he views them with bitter detachment rather than outright anger, more like a predator than a protector. The fact that he has no Lust Objects, or any semblance of a breeding instinct for that matter, contributes to that—whether they engage in courtship with canons or not, anyone who disrupts the canon is fair game to him. It isn't uncommon for him to concoct overly elaborate schemes for taking down his targets, though whether they actually work is a whole different story. He is also quite philosophical at times and can get caught up in his own ponderings on even the most minor of conundrums and pieces of trivia, which can be sometimes critical to the task at hand, sometimes not.

Needless to say, the Ironic Overpower and the Narrative Laws of Comedy are often quick to trip up the cunning young Deinonychus in the most embarrassing ways. Ripper actually suffers from a bit of culture shock, failing to understand human expressions or gestures and in general unable to comprehend the human sense of humor, and his tendency to overthink things can get him into accidents quite often (You can almost hear the Looney Tunes music playing when he tries to overcome a simple problem with a needlessly complicated solution, with predictable results). Despite this, he is one of the most passionate fighters of poor characterization, and can be trusted to hunt down anyone who is out of place. One of his quirks is regarding Sues as prey rather than enemies—canons and balanced characters are "fit" and "healthy" in his point of view, while those that are written poorly are more likely to be brought down. He also regards his fellow agents as his pack-mates, and will gladly take their side if it involves the disembowelment of somebody else.

Ripper is asexual and transgender, presumably having made the transition from a female-like to male-like appearance prior to his debut in his homefic. While the Velociraptors in his source continuum changed sex due to having genes from certain African frogs that do the same thing, Ripper's genome was partly derived from chickens instead—as it turns out, chickens can also change gender under certain conditions. It is not clear as to whether or not he'll be able to successfully breed post-transition, since virility of gender-changed fowl depends on certain anatomical precedents that are internal and can be hard to predict, but he's in no hurry to find out; being twice the size of a normal Deinonychus would make it difficult for him to find a suitable mate of his species, after all.

Origin, Studom, and Presumed Death
Velociripper originated as an antagonistic Gary Stu in a megacrossover co-written by the same author who would later create Falchion. Introduced not long after the incorporation of the Jurassic Park continuum into the badfic, he was originally billed as a human-raptor hybrid, with a personality and appearance heavily based off Light Yagami from Death Note, if not plagiarized entirely. While he was a considerable threat to the canonical characters featured in the fic, his primary purpose was to hunt down and kill the heroic Gary Stu of said fic. Predictably, this master scheme failed spectacularly, and after a series of escalating mishaps, he was sent plummeting into the jaws of a giant Tylosaurus, King Krok, and was promptly devoured.

Arrival at the PPC
Considering that his homefic was killed not long after his apparent demise, it is likely that Velociripper would have never been heard from ever again—if it weren't for the actions of Agent Falchion, who would be indirectly responsible for bringing Ripper to the attention of the PPC. When King Krok was brought into the Department of Misplaced Flora and Fauna under the Skarmory's guidance, the mosasaur promptly emptied its stomach of, among other contents, a certain Deinonychus skeleton, now almost completely cleansed of glitter, feathers and flesh. Because he died as he would have in the fic, with only marginal time to press charges, Ripper's influence would have spread to wherever his remains ended up. When his bones were brought in for study (with the bone marrow still intact), the flesh regenerated over them, albeit with grisly results, and soon the PPC found itself dealing with a predator bent on vengeance against the Stu who had killed him.

Because Falchion had already killed that particular Stu, leaving Ripper without a sense of purpose, it took a lot of consulting on the part of FicPsych to convince him to join the PPC, upon which he personally asked the Floating Hyacinth to assign him to Falchion's RC after learning about his troubled history. He then burst into RC 227 with a score to settle, attacking the Steel/Flying-type on sight; thankfully, the intervention of two other agents prevented him from finishing the job, and he was forced to back off. Ripper reluctantly but obediently accompanied the other three on his first mission, a rather long and awful Pokémon badfic, during which he realized that there are things out there that are a lot worse than the old grudges he used to have. Because of this, Falchion was able to talk things out with him and apologize to him for the misunderstandings that had occurred between them in their past lives, and the two of them reconciled at the end of the mission.

As for a certain Super's reaction to his return, well... that's a different story altogether.

Charge Lists

 * Ripper was initially charged by Rashida Mafdetiti when she and Falchion killed his homefic. Though there wasn't enough time to press a full charge list, Rashida did manage to charge him with "wanting to exterminate humanity for no sensible reason other than being evil, releasing an army of dinosaurs into a city of innocent people, initiating a hostage situation for no reason other than being evil (again), being a non-human species that speaks fluent English, threatening to kill a PPC agent, and having an 'eery' glow."
 * Falchion later charged Ripper officially after their first mission together, for the sake of formalities. The full list of charges included "having a poorly defined and generically evil personality; having an inconsistent appearance with the aesthetic of [his] home continuum; having an 'eery' glow; somehow managing to teleport across continua for the sake of plot convenience; threatening PPC agents; looking, sounding, and behaving like Light Yagami where [he] had no business doing so; commanding a strangely organized army of dinosaurs without any justification; making species separated across millions of years coexist as a plot device; [and] having specific individuals from prehistoric eras be resurrected and retain their memories [though this one was retracted on account of being committed by the author of the badfic]."
 * Ripper amended this charge list himself by adding "surviving multiple injuries that would have been lethal under realistic circumstances, including being partially digested."
 * Because Ripper had proved his worth as an agent, he was sentenced to a lifetime of servitude with the PPC (as opposed to being killed off as stated the first time he was charged), for which he was understandably grateful.

Current PPC Career
Ripper stayed in RC 227 for several years, serving as a trainee and pack-mate to Falchion and fellow agent Rashida Mafdetiti. Sometime during 2016, however, he met then-newbie Palmeira Citrine, whom he took under his figurative wing. He transferred to the Department of Mary Sues late in that year, with Palmeira as his partner.

Timeline
All dates are given in HQ Standard Time.


 * 2014
 * October 14
 * Is accidentally brought into HQ after a twenty-chapter feud with a Suvian power couple proves too much for him.
 * 2015
 * February 11
 * Assigned to Falchion for his first recorded mission. Gives up his evil ways with assistance from Rina and Randa.
 * Discovers that an old arch-nemesis is also working at HQ. Is promptly taken under the wing of Rashida Mafdetiti when said nemesis storms out on the DF.
 * April 23
 * Second recorded mission.
 * May 9
 * Third recorded mission. Befriends Valon Vance and Kala Jeng.
 * May 24
 * Fourth recorded mission. Rashida is hauled off to FicPsych, leaving him and Falchion to run the RC.
 * May 28
 * Fifth recorded mission (Rewrite pending). Also along for the ride are Za'kiir and Natalie Carlman.
 * August 30
 * Involved in the Body Swap incident.
 * December 3
 * Sixth recorded mission.
 * Seventh recorded mission, with Sarah and her current partners. Gets maimed and sent to Medical when things don't go to plan.
 * Meets Salvo in person for the first time.
 * December 10
 * Attends as a guest to Valon and Kala's wedding.
 * Mid-December
 * Is interrupted by a fellow agent during his reminiscence of his troubled history.
 * 2016
 * January 1
 * Takes part in the second annual New Year's Gift Exchange.
 * May 17
 * Participates in an impromptu Karaoke nigh.
 * July
 * Is given the assignment of showing the ropes to an unsuspecting newbie. (Mission pending)
 * Late December
 * Transfers to the DMS, and is partnered with Palmeira Citrine.
 * 2017
 * June 23
 * Helps his former packmate celebrate his 24th birthday.
 * Late 2020s
 * Retires and returns to his correct geological time period, a slightly sadder but wiser paravian.

Mission Logs
Home: RC 227

Origin

 * Mission One: "Connecting the Dots"
 * In which Falchion discovers his untold backstory, with disastrous results for everybody.
 * Original fanfic: "Rise of the Galeforces" (The Incredibles x Portal x Megamind x Marvel Comics Universe x Jurassic Park x The Matrix x Death Note x Donkey Kong Country x Kim Possible x Ice Age x The Land Before Time)

Training

 * Mission Six: "An Act of Sheer Will," with Agents Falchion, Rina Dives, and Randa Roan
 * In which Falchion's bad day is made infinitely worse by both an old acquaintance and a horde of character replacements.
 * Original fanfic: "New Directions" by Cori Falls (Pokémon) (Original fic deleted; anthology can be accessed here)
 * Interlude Three: "Separate Ways," with Agents Falchion, Rashida Mafdetiti, Sarah Katherine Squall, Brenda, and Violet Rose Greenfield
 * In which one agent is exchanged for another.

Partnered with Falchion and Rashida

 * Mission Eight: "Don't Fear the Reaper"
 * In which two different derivatives of the same character come face-to-face.
 * Original fanfic: "Light and Dark The Adventures of Dark Yagami" (Death Note)
 * Mission Nine: "Of Monsters and Machines," featuring Agents Valon Vance and Kala Jeng (collab with Voyd)
 * In which the agents are invited to a preternatural pizza party.
 * Original fanfic: "Five Nights at Freddy's: Monster Island" (Five Nights at Freddy's x Godzilla)
 * Mission Ten: "A Bad Taste in the Mouth"
 * In which a visit to the Cretaceous period takes a surprising turn.
 * Original fanfic: "Forever Delicious" (You Are Umasou)
 * Mission Eleven: "Snake Eyes" (rewrite pending, co-write with Silenthunder)
 * In which a supernatural school is supposedly subjugated by sapient Suvian serpents.
 * Original fanfic: "Harry Potter and the Gift of the Basilisk" (Harry Potter)
 * Note: Rashida does not participate in this mission.
 * Mission Twelve: "Sore of the Explorer"
 * In which Falchion hurts himself in his confusion.
 * Original fanfic: "A Typical Day for Dora" (Dora the Explorer)
 * Mission Thirteen: "Open the Door, Get on the Floor," with Agents Sarah Katherine Squall, Cupid Carmine, and Lapis Lazuli (DIC)
 * In which everybody walks the dinosaur.
 * Original fanfic: "Jurassic Equestria" (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic x Jurassic Park)
 * Mission ???: "Less Fun Than a Barrel of Monkeys," with Trainee Palmeira Citrine (pending, co-write with eatpraylove)
 * Oh no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was beast—and a very confused and annoyed trainee—killed the beauty.
 * Original fanfic: "Skull Island-The Place of Your Nightmares" (King Kong)
 * Note: Falchion and Rashida do not appear in this mission.

Other Appearances

 * "Welcome to Rudi's!" - Appears with Falchion and Cupid Carmine in this RP thread on The Other Board.
 * "Bitter Memories," with Agents Sarah Katherine Squall, Cupid Carmine, Lapis Lazuli, Alex Dives, Panacea, and Sister January
 * "Illogic Bomb," with Agent Rayner Blitzkrieg
 * Interlude: "Happy Bird-Day"
 * In which Falchion gets a pleasant surprise for once.
 * Prologue, with Trainee Palmeira Citrine