Captain Jack Sparrow

If ever there was a character who could compete with Legolas for sheer fangirl hordes, it would be this one. He is the main character in the Pirates of the Caribbean universe, and arguably the reason behind the trilogy's success. Captain Jack Sparrow is played by Johnny Depp, whose fangirls are some of the most tenacious, insipid, and hyperactive writers on the Pit.

Jack is a notorious, mischievous pirate who has a good heart, although he is a dangerous man. Overall, his character doesn't sit still, and is consequently far too complex for most Suethors to grasp. Because these writers are too immature to know how to deal with character nuances, they write him as one extreme or the other. Either he is a black-hearted villain, or a comic sop. Either he is cruel towards women, or he melts at the very sight of a skirt. Despite the fact that Jack states in canon for all to hear, "Terribly flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea," he has fallen in desperate love with an estimated 10,000 Mary Sues on Fanfiction.net. This sappy incarnation of the good captain has led to the coining of the term, "Captain Jack Sap-arrow."