Wayne Garamond

Wayne Garamond is an agent in the Department of Mary Sues, Anime Division. He was written by Gundamkiwi.

Agent Profile
Wayne is a young man, about twenty-five (Genjo Sanzo's age), with fluffy, cherry-red hair that would be at home in many anime continua. His eyes are brown. He's a few inches taller than his partner and he likes to wear jeans and a black shirt. He enjoys steel-toed boots for kicking Sues and obnoxious unreformed fangirls.

Of the two partners, Wayne is the grammar nerd. Failure to start new paragraphs for new speakers is a particular pet peeve of his. His anime areas of expertise are mostly sci-fi series such as Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, Outlaw Star, and Gundam Wing. He's also a big Lord of the Rings fan, so much so that messing with it can cause him to lose his normally calm, patient demeanor.

Otherwise, he has a wide variety of skills and knowledge. Some people say that he has "mad ninja skills," and he actually does know a few tricks. However, he seems to prefer guns; he is familiar with the use of handguns and machine guns. He also carries a few mild toxins with his gear on the basis that you never know when they might come in handy. He likes to play cards to pass the time and always keeps a deck or three handy, just in case. He is also good at card games, or at least so much better than Gunny that she can't beat him. He enjoys classical music and is able to identify various composers by sound.

His weaknesses are electronics and slash. Electronics tend to explode when Wayne touches them for too long, so he leaves all the doo-hickies and thingies to his partner. He even gave up on Gameboys after his third replacement blew up for no apparent reason. He appears to find slash to be squicky and gets noticeably uncomfortable whenever the subject comes up; perish the thought of actually PPCing bad slash.

He has no Lust Objects, but he is not a eunuch. His drink of choice is vodka. He's an early riser, seemingly unable to sleep past sunrise (at least, when there is a sun).

Agent History


Wayne was a member of the Anime Division prior to being partnered with Gunny and had at least one partner before her, possibly more if his comment about the SO assigning him "newbies" plural in the past is to be taken literally.

His partnership with Gunny began as an accident. She joined as an intern in the Department of Intelligence, and when the director of Personnel sent her to find her office, he also sent her by RC 444 with a message saying that Wayne's new partner was undergoing de-fangirling treatment and wouldn't be available for another few days. However, Wayne's console had been beeping for days already, and upon seeing Gunny's bag (actually full of welcome gifts and not gear), he mistook her for an assassin and dragged her into the mission before she could explain herself. It went so well that, after Wayne suffered through one mission with the irritating girl who was supposed to be his partner, he specifically requested to have Gunny back instead. He even helped her move her stuff without being asked.

The two found they had many things in common and got along well. They went on four more recorded missions together before they were summoned to the Sunflower Official's office for a special assignment to the Legendary Badfic "Subjugation" in 2006. They and six other agents went in; only one returned, and neither Gunny nor Wayne was that one. The mission was left incomplete. Gunny and Wayne's fate is unknown; they are presumed Snapped and/or Missing in Action.

Mission Reports
Home: The LiveJournal of Very Little Significance (archived at Archive.today)

Partnered with Gunny

 * "Kitsune's Arrival" (Naruto)
 * "Reunited" (Saiyuki), Wayne with Kaylee Grahm (DMS - Anime)
 * "Emerald" (Inuyasha)
 * "Kakashi's Love" (Naruto)
 * "Forgotten Forests" Part One, Part Two (Inuyasha x The Lord of the Rings)
 * "Violence, booze, and too much family" (Yu Yu Hakusho)
 * "Subjugation" (Harry Potter), with Agents Rez and Flip (DF), Suicide and Diocletian (DMS), and Jo and Shae (DMS)
 * Incomplete.