Mithril (mission)


 * Not to be confused with the fictional metal from the Tolkienverse.

Mithril Starlight was a mission into The Lord of the Rings by Agents Jay and Acacia.

Character History
Mithril was Elrond's uncanonical daughter. She wore headache-inducing multiple-colors-at-once make-up, a "low-cut-yet-modest" dress, and wilver shoes.

Charges
Mithril was charged with "disrupting the canon by being the OTHER daughter of Elrond, interfering with the characters of Elrond, Arwen, Legolas, Gandalf—Gandalf, m'dear, not Gandlaf—and various Random Elves, wearing self-contradictory clothing and makeup, using a really damn stupid name in defiance of common sense and good taste, really stretching the laws of probability in conjunction with those of genetics with that hair of yours, and keeping Legolas in Rivendell against canon just so he can fall in love with you ... cruelty to the common comma, wanton and willful ignorance of grammar, the mangling of archaic English, the complete altering of the Elven class system and traditions, and being one of the Suest of Sues I have EVER ENCOUNTERED in THREE YEARS ON THE JOB."

Character Demise
Annoyed by the Sue's horrible grammar and butchered English, Jay and Acacia added poison ivy to her make-up and posed as servants to apply it. This didn't actually kill her, but it was probably pretty satisfying.

Acacia shot an arrow through Mithril's throat. The body was dumped into the Balrog's chasm in Moria.

Mission Report

 * "Mithril," Agents Jay and Acacia (DMS)