Rose Potter

Rose Potter is the title character of a series of Legendary Badfic. The series is also known as "The 'Girl Who Lived' Septology". As can be inferred from the title, the author of this series has taken the plot of the Harry Potter books, but replaced Harry with their own creation, a Mary Sue called Rose Potter. As yet, only six of the Harry Potter books have been subjected to this treatment, with "Rose Potter and the Half Blood Prince" comprising only seven chapters.

Das Mervin has sporked the living daylights out of the series.

Recurring themes
Unlike the Harry Potter books, the Rose Potter series takes a relativist stance to morality; excessive and/or deadly force are freely condoned by the eponymous character when locked in a confrontation and dark magic is not at all seen as corrupting, as long as the heart is in the right place. For example, Rose rationalizes her use of Unforgivables (curses so horrible one use of any of them results in automatic life-time imprisonment) and Necromancy (magical manipulation of the dead) with the claim that she supposedly powers it all with love (though this is dubious at best, in light of her blood lust).

Underage closet lesbianism also abounds freely since the very first installment, a feature that only becomes more prominent as the "septology" grows.

Book One - Rose Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
This is, to begin with, almost word-for-word the plot of the original. In it, we are introduced to Rose Potter who—despite having received training in Ninjutsu since age six from her Muggle sensei (under the pretense of self-defense against her abusive extended family)—is just your run-of-the-mill, condescending orphan. She then receives a letter in post informing her that she is a witch and promptly sets off (though not before grievously injuring her aforementioned family) and immediately sets to work on learning powerful dark magic.

She spends the majority of the year stealing the thunder and personality traits of the supporting characters whilst also finding time to magically cure bumbling wizard Neville Longbottom of his mental retardation. She also abhors clothes, since she only ever had horrible ones as a child and therefore takes every opportunity to walk around "in nudatio". Naturally, the complaints start piling up and so as a solution Professor McGonagall (who soon becomes her barely-involved adoptive mother) proposes that she becomes a Druidess as an excuse and even gives her a speshul magik amulet which, thankfully, allows people to see her fully clothed.

The first installment concludes more or less in-line with canon, with Rose and friends making their way to the Mirror of Erised, except for the fact that Rose flat-out murders the villain—Professor Quirrel—with some of that aforementioned dark magic she set about learning. The last chapter comprises "Minnie" McGonagall escorting Rose to a Magical Glen (forests Druids reserve for running naked in) where she is handed over to her new Druidess mentor, Cerelian.

Book Two - Rose Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Proceeds in much the same manner as Book One (i.e. plagiarizing the hell out of the original works), with the main two exceptions being: Rose no longer lives with the Dursleys (having assaulted them on two separate occasions prior) but in the Magical Glen that made a cameo at the end of the last installment; Ron and Ginny's roles are entirely swapped. Interestingly, because of this, it became no longer feasible for Ron's snapped wand to cause Lockhart to obliviate himself so instead Rose takes matters into her own hand and nearly blows his head off with—once again—powerful dark magic.

Ginny is also roped into Rose's Druidic cult of nudity, while Rose now starts having private lessons with Dumbledore, whom she comes to think of her adoptive grandfather (a feeling which is apparently mutual). Many abilities of Rose's are established during this year, such as Parseltongue, Beastspeak (talk to any creature), Apparition and Teleportation (Apparition that can't be blocked and is unique to Rose; not even Dumbledore can do it, despite his best efforts). She even reveals herself to be proficient in the Dark Art of Necromancy (which she uses to fully decapitate Nearly Headless Nick).

The book ends much like the last, with Rose returning to the previously mentioned Magical Glen (which becomes markedly more prominent as the series continues) only this time taking Ginny with her in order to train under the Druids too.

Book Three - Rose Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
In a radical turn of originality, this installment does not go at all like the last two; indeed, Rose solves every conflict proposed in the original work within the first seven chapters (including establishing Sirius Black's innocence with Veritaserum, despite the fact that Veritaserum is hardly what one would call reliable in the Harry Potter universe) and goes on to have a wonderful non-canonical adventure for the remaining ten.

Rose has many breakthroughs this year (though few challenges, as per usual), such as inventing the Druidic, Dementor-destroying "Golden Patronus" and becoming an Animagus, her form being a "Silverback Lioness". Dementors are also revealed to actually be what the Druids (and Legacy of Kain) call Soul-reavers; they apparently originated from dark wizards playing with Necromancy (a lot like Rose) in an attempt to achieve immortality, in the process becoming these creatures.

This installment ends with Rose knowingly allowing Peter Pettigrew to escape captivity (despite the fact that she spent much of the book attempting to have him incarcerated) and hence directly contributing to Lord Voldemort's (the main villain) second rising.

Book Four - Rose Potter and the Goblet of Fire
After the author's brief affair with creativity gone horribly wrong (a.k.a. Book 3), this installment reaches a compromise between the attitudes of the first three, mixing canon with original thought (coincidentally setting the tone for the remainder of the series).

As with the original work, Rose is unwittingly (and nakedly) thrust into the Triwizard tournament. However, she also establishes a relationship with co-Triwizard champion Cedric Diggory, who she eventually adds to her collection of Druid converts.

Fourth Year was one of the most memorable for readers and sporkers of the series alike as it includes the infamous night on which Rose—justly accused by Ron of being a Lesbian witch—exacts horrifically disproportionate retribution on her "friend" by magically flinging him across the Gryffindor common room like a rag doll and carving words into his forehead, which she refused to remove until he'd retracted and apologised for his "totally unfounded" slander. On a totally unrelated note, this is also the same year in which Rose purposefully barges in on Hermione having private time.

The book reaches a climactic head with Rose saving Cedric Diggory yet still allowing Voldemort to rise (again), this time with the goal of "teaching him a lesson" in magical combat (though, in reality, she ends getting way in over her head and teleports away with her tail between her legs) and ends with the titular witch having Hermione explain the "finer points of Shakespeare" to Ron on the Hogwarts train home.

Book Five - Rose Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
This year starts off with a bang by having Rose become a full, initiated Druidess on carrying out a highly graphic, gory sex ritual with Cedric at Stonehenge, which (amongst other things) involves bathing each other in blood.

Fifth Year is the longest adaptation in the Rose Potter series and arguably the most significant for several reasons, not least of all with respect to Rose's ever-expanding power-base. For example, this year, Snape (like in the original works) attempts to teach her Occlumency (which she fails to master, like Harry) and Legilimency, which she excels at. She also learns (and practises) much more dark magic than the previous years combined and even begins to see Thestrals due to witnessing Cedric's near-death experience with Voldemort last year.

She also turns more moral corners than ever before this year, including: viciously attacking several ministry of magic officials, murdering at least three (possibly more) Death Eathers, bullying her unwilling friends into committing murder, torturing another with one of the Unforgivables, taking extreme pleasure in said torture and more.

Lastly, Fifth Year is probably most memorable for the duel in the department of Mysteries, in which Rose gets in way over her head (again) and technically gets Sirius killed (who, incidentally, bequeaths his entire estate to Rose, instead of his Druidic offspring).

The book ends much like the last, though minus the literary snobbery.