User:Toopurple

TooPurple was known as zdimensia and Bramandin.

In May of 2014, TooPurple joined the board as zdimensia. After a month, she asked for permission, and that's where things started to go wrong. She didn't know that she was autistic at the time. Her lack of communication skills, both in understanding and making herself understood, caused a protracted string of drama.

In June of 2014, zdimensia asked for permission; not intending to get it, but just looking for feedback, so her request was incomplete. In the beginning of July, instructions for how to find a beta were added, but by then zdimensia had gotten confused and thought she needed permission before getting a beta. (She added "name of your beta" to the permission requirements more as an indication that you should have a beta, though the result is that the beta gets acknowledged.)

The most damning exchange:

Any attempts to discuss the problem failed. zdimensia began writing without permission. To her, writing anything down instead of trying to keep it straight in her head was breaking the rules. (Not writing anything down was causing problems with the flow of new ideas, including being able to go through the permission process.) Across the huge gray area between writing things down without the intent to publish and writing complete missions with intent to publish, she produced a few almost-ready-for-beta missions. The board viewed this as.

(Somewhat later, anything without intent to publish became allowed. Missions that were written before someone proved that they could write could be accepted if they were re-written.)

Because zdimensia had trouble understanding the smatterings of advice that she did get, trying to follow that advice painted her into a bad corner. Also through bad luck, zdimensia seemed drawn to details of the PPC expanded canon that were not recognized as typical. It resulted in the PG thinking she had no concept of what the PPC was about, despite how zdimensia had read on average at least 2-3 unique missions or more per day over two months. The further result was that zdimensia wouldn't trust the wiki and started asking too many questions.

The permission instructions were also confusing at the time, though attempts have been made to improve them. It resulted in her full permission attempt not making it to the board at first because of organization issues, and the PG's own lack of attention to detail resulted in mis-describing the error. Both sides got frustrated. At one point, zdimensia accused the board of hazing, which is impossible because it needs intent.

Every attempt to explain why she was breaking the rules were not understood. Even though she was trying to work with the permission process the best she could, zdimensia was viewed as flaunting it. There became a pattern where the board would say stop, zdimensia would give an argument (that if acknowledged, would have gotten her to stop,) but instead zdimensia only saw responses where the boarder would exasperatedly complain about how she wouldn't follow [bad and painful] instructions. Because she felt not-listened to, she was compelled to not-listen.

Eventually because of the constant perceived belittlement on the Board, zdimensia connected it with her real-life problem of getting scowled-at on the street. (A later refinement of her confirmation bias led to only most of the "scowlers" being people opposite her skin color, and that it rarely if at all happened when she left her city.) She started angsting over her guilty feelings of being "racist" (as if it was a red "R" that floated over her head and made people who cared scowl at her...) which really gave the wrong impression. {Seriously people, how can you equate guilt about noticing that people look different than you with intentional dehumanizing?}

The myth of the lynch-happy zdimensia was so strong that by the time she put cultural appropriation in a character, (without knowing that cultural appropriation was bad,) everyone assumed the worst. Also, every time she had tried to apologize before, zdimensia felt attacked, (because she didn't know how to do it right and people yelled at her as if she should know,) and didn't want to invite another round.

Then zdimensia had turned "Get permission" into "Ask for permission" instead of "Don't write without permission." So she asked for permission as soon as someone finally said that she could use the characters she wanted to use. In her mind, she was being punished for cooperating.

"As a consequence of all these factors, your statement that '[Kim] she hates Nazis slightly more than what is socially necessary' reads, to me, as 'I don't believe hating Nazis has any foundation, but sigh, it's socially necessary to pretend to do so'. Which would be an incredibly racist attitude to express."

zdimensia was too demoralized to argue. She'd been expected to adhere to Godwin's law even though her education in history only covered America, and barely into the Great Depression. She had no idea how California got settled. What bits and snatches she did know about the Holocaust were too ephemeral for her to get emotional about, just a hollow knowledge that other people had some reason to care and she should empathize with them. She also didn't believe in ultimate evil, just unbalanced selfishness.

zdimensia offerred to leave the board for four months as a peace-offering, but it was perceived as something she was planning to do anyway. {How did that even happen?} Her ban might have been three months if she didn't volunteer to leave, and the choice was between not-at-all, six months, a year, and permanently. There was a 50% vote for one year with zdimensia not knowing that she was supposed to vote. There wasn't an official reason why she was banned, leading zdimensia to believe that she was being punished for doing what she was told to. (Did all of the voters agree on a reason why she was banned, or just that she should be?)

zdimensia was banned for a year. At an unspecified point in her ban, she developed the idea that we had abused her. She used the only means of communication left to us, which was screaming at the walls, but we did not answer. She lost her temper before the year was up, ridiculously accusing us of abuse of all the things, and we banned her within the day. We thought we were rid of her. (The idiot didn't even try to apologize for the thing she was banned for.)

It wasn't until much later that we learned that she went to the hospital that day because of suicidal ideation.

In Feburary of 2016, Bramandin appeared. They, eventually wandering to she without Bram's specifiying pronouns or denying the feminine, was suspiciously open about being autistic.

Bram had trouble with the prompts. (Later admitting that she did it on purpose.) But the Board eventually decided to be flexible with the Permission process and she got Permission.

(In a later conflict, when the truth was laid bare, Bramandin and all her incarnations renounced Permission with the opportunity to earn it back fairly. There still has not been a case where a PPC writer was forcibly stripped of Permission.  Seriously, it was not in any way coercion or motivated by more than the feeling that I should do it properly.)

Without a consensus whether the Bramandin/zdimensia/Toopurple excuse for a human being should be permabanned, we have only to wait until she shows her true colors once again.

Hi! This is my userpage, which would be really spiffy if I put some stuff about myself here! I should fill in the User infobox, the template for which I can get right here, especially if my username is not the same as my name on the Board. Before I start editing, though, I'll check out the Editing Tutorial, which contains some important information about PPC Wiki's etiquette and style. Yay!