Valon Vance

Valon Vance is an agent in the Department of Floaters. He is written by Voyd.

Appearance
Valon is one of the tallest human agents in the PPC, standing six and a half feet tall. He has blue eyes, short brown hair and a reddish mustache that he keeps neatly trimmed. His height does tend to give him problems with low ceilings. He looks generally unhealthy, with pallid skin, mildly sunken eyes and a skeletal frame.

His outfit usually consists of jeans, a black vest (the inside of which is lined with Bags of Holding), and one of the many Game of Thrones or band t-shirts that he's made.

Personality
Valon is chaotic and mercurial, with unpredictable and almost alien thought processes that tend to confuse anyone trying to keep up with him. He does have some constants, however.
 * Valon loves cute things, which to him includes minis.
 * He's uncomfortable around women he considers attractive. While heterosexual, he’s rather ashamed of having a sexual identity. He tries to pretend to be asexual, though he doesn’t usually succeed.
 * He has near-encyclopedic knowledge of a wide variety of subjects and continua, and passing knowledge of a great deal more.
 * Valon is a very musical individual. He has a good voice and indiscriminate taste, and tends to sing the first song that springs to mind. How this is received varies with both the song and the audience. He's most coherent when performing.
 * Generally, Valon keeps a cool head. It's very rare to see him more than mildly irritated, and only a few things can make him absolutely furious. This calm is forced, however, and pushing him too far will cause him to snap for a moment.

Skills
Valon has made it his goal to learn at least one new trick from every continuum he visits. Besides this, he’s a passable chef, a giftedly bad comedian, and an absolute master of his voice. He’s a good singer, a natural mimic, and an aspiring linguist.

He’s also mildly colorblind, often confusing browns and greens, and he’s immune to the eye-searing effects of urple (but ONLY urple; other Suvian colors still hurt him).

However, despite his best efforts, Valon is not all-capable. He can’t stand children (the Nursery is torture for him), he’s a poor fighter (his only knowledge of swordplay is “stick them with the pointy end” and his aim is horrendous), he has low stamina and tires easily, and while he enjoys speaking, he doesn’t know when it’s a good idea to stop.

Agent History
Several years prior to joining the PPC, Valon was a depressed individual seriously considering suicide. While this attitude faded in time, the experience still has an impact on him, as his hatred of trivialized suicide stems from it.

He joined the PPC after falling into a plothole, like most agents.

The RC of Terror
RC 211 resembles a haunted house, with various cheesy horror elements acting as a backdrop. These include a portrait of Cthulhu and an urple skeleton at a table.

Valon loves minis, and the RC of Terror is infested with them. The minis in RC 211 are:
 * Sumisu the mini-Suu
 * Nuking Manhatten the mini-Brawler
 * Kouroki the mini-Mokocchi
 * knockback the mini-creeper
 * harys the mini-Aragog
 * freljordian the mini-Kog'maw
 * Rabbit, Bonnie the mini-Bonnie
 * Gojirra the mini-Godzilla

Valerie Vance
In his seventh mission, out of sheer curiosity, Valon used the disguise generator to transform himself into a girl. Calling herself Valerie, she found that her emotions affected her much more strongly than as Valon. More than likely it's a placebo, from Valon's prior knowledge that women feel emotions more strongly than men do, combined with not being used to female emotions. Regardless, with curiosity satisfied, it's unlikely that Valerie will be returning any time soon.

Mission Reports

 * "Kinky like STABBING YOU IN THE FACE" (Bionicle), with Magdalen Blackwell (DF)
 * Valon's first mission, whether he likes it or not. Maggie ropes him into a Bionicle badfic.


 * "New Lodgings"
 * Valon moves into RC 211, struggles to get his console to shut up, and recoils in horror at the prospect of having to do a Suefic alone.


 * "What's Going On!?"
 * Valon meets Kala. Confusion ensues.


 * "I Scream for Minis"
 * Valon gets stung, adopts the first known Monster Musume mini, and realizes that his job is just about to start.

Partnered with Kala Jeng

 * "Of Poorly Matched Continua" (Monster Musume x Prototype)
 * In which two of Valon's favorite continua get butchered by a fake Alex Mercer.
 * "Of Timeline Butchery" (Monster Musume)
 * In which the canon timeline of MonMusu gets mucked up royally.
 * "Of Scorpion's WraMOTERO!" (Watamote)
 * In which Valon discovers yet another new mini, and loses his cool for the first time.
 * "Of Effing WHAT!?" (Harry Potter)
 * In which Valon throws up.
 * "Of Frightful Red Rage" (League of Legends)
 * In which Valon finally loses control.
 * "Of Monsters and Machines" (Five Nights at Freddy's x Godzilla) (with agents Falchion, Rashida Mafdetiti and Velociripper)
 * In which no one is ready for Freddy.
 * "Of Slashy Stus" (Harry Potter)
 * In which genderbending happens.